Chapter Fifteen - Fear

We sat there for a long time simply staring at each other, neither of us wanting to break the spell that had wrapped itself around us. When Spike finally did move it was to get closer and enveloped me in his arms.

I settled against him and let my arms fall leisurely around his waist, burying my head into the contours of his chest and drinking in his warmth and strength. I had decided I would never be able to get enough of the feel of him against me. I would never get enough of him being with me. His presence was like comfort and security, strength and wholeness. Being with him was perfect. It was better than I ever remembered it being and I mentally chided myself for deny myself this feeling for so long. If I had only given in to him two years ago when all this mess had started I could have saved us both the heartache and despair that we had to endure because of my stubbornness.

I leaned my head up to look into his face and I found him looking down at me with those intense blue eyes and an expression that said he was feeling exactly the same things I was thinking.

He tilted his face down to mine and captured my lips in a long lingering kiss. I melted into it, just enjoying him for the first time. His lips were warm against mine, I had always remembered them being cold or else having no temperature at all. But as I snaked my hand up his side, sliding it under the shirt he had obviously borrowed from either Angel or Andrew somewhere along the way, I noticed his skin was warm as well.

I didn't take too much time to deliberate it as my finger played lightly over the muscles of his stomach. They were tight and well defined and I enjoyed the softness of his skin against my fingertips.

His breath caught in his throat as I edged my finger around the waistband of his jeans. But I realized it was a different breath than I had anticipated and repeated the motion a little slower just to be sure. There it was again, but this time he squirmed away from my hand and I heard the breath with an air of a laugh underneath it.

He was ticklish. In all the times that we were together I had never realized this fascinating tidbit until now. How could I have missed it ?

I looked up at him and a slow menacing smile spread across my face. A look of impending doom flashed through his eyes and he retreated even further from me.

" Buffy, " he whispered, putting his hands out in a defensive posture. " That wasn't what you thought it was. " I tried to backpedaled as fast as he could. " I was just thinking about something funny. "

I laughed out loud at the lameness of his pleading and at the tone of his voice. He was terrified. His face darkening as I continued to inch my way closer to him.

" You don't want to do this. " he warned me, sliding from the foot of the bed and darting around to the other side in a lightning fast motion.

I followed him with my eyes and instead of going off the bed after him, I simply twisted my body around so that I was facing him again.

" I can't believe that I never knew this about you. " I told him, easing forward.

" I can't believe it, either and now that you do know I would really appreciate it if you forgot about it. " he answered, his hands still out in front of him to block me and his eyes tracking my every move.

I inched forward a little more and smiled wickedly. " Oh, no. I don't think so. This is too good to forget. "

I reached out and quickly tried to snag my target, but he moved easily out of my grasp.

He took a step back from the bed and surveyed his options. I could see the battle plan forming in his head.

Then suddenly, drawing on the element of surprise he spun away from me and made for the other side of the bed again. As he darted past the foot of the bed, I reached out and caught him for a second.

I was rewarded with a howl of laughter but my hold wasn't solid and he slipped away before I truly got the chance to attack.

Coming to the other side of the bed, he paused and stared at me again.

" Are you completely sure you know what you're doing ? " he asked, cocking one eyebrow slightly.

" I know exactly what I'm doing. " I smiled. " I found the big bad's Achilles heal and I'm going to use it. "

The panicked look was back now as I inched my way closer to him.

" I'm not the big bad anymore. " he answered, backing up a step.

" Oh, " I said, " I think there is plenty of it still left in you. "

We stayed like that for a second, I purposely didn't move, trying to lure him into a false sense of calm. He wasn't buying it. I could tell from his eyes that he knew I was up to something.

He tried to back away from the bed, but as he did, I pounced bringing my hand to his side and tickling him without mercy.

He fell forward as a burst of laughter fell from his lips. Wiggling and squirming, in what I thought was the troughs of his fit, he managed to maneuver himself into position and with a flip he had me trapped under him, securing my hands in his grasp, the rest of his body anchored my lower half to the bed.

" You really shouldn't play games you can't win. " he taunted from above me.

I tried to wrestle my hands free from his grip but he tighten them, allowing me no freedom of movement.

I was well and truly trapped under him. As hard as I tried to move, it was no use. And then a startling realization hit me - I wasn't the least bit, even the tiniest inkling, scared of him. I was completely helpless, utterly at his mercy and I was totally unafraid.