Journey to Mordor (By SUV)

Disclaimer: Sure, I really own LotR! I own it the same way I own the Takamine guitar I want…

Chapter Thirty-seven: Shelob

Dolly had only one rule while she was driving the SUV. No one was to speak unless she told them too. And Dolly had told Sam under no circumstances was he to talk. So he kept his mouth shut and sat in the trunk, staying away from the pissed off human. Dolly was grateful for the silence. She liked to be able to think and concentrate on her driving.

What was on her mind was getting home. She didn't care who came back with her or who stayed behind, she just wanted to go home. And as soon as the Ring was destroyed, she was going to find a way back home or die trying. She was not going to remain trapped in Middle-earth. She had never wanted to be in Middle-earth and now she was fed up with it and wanted no more than to go home.

As far as she was concerned, everyone else could just 'shut up and die' as her Happy Bunny keychain said or 'go crawl in a hole and die' as her best friend used to say. She missed her best friend's sarcasm but there were more important things on her mind than Tess's fate. She had to find Frodo, make sure the Ring was destroyed and get home.

Finally she was close to Frodo and Gollum. She had followed them to the outskirts of another passage into Mordor. But the only way in was up the winding stair and then through the tunnel at the top. So Dolly got out of the SUV and told Sam to do the same. She was going to have to leave the SUV there and walk the rest of the way. But then something amazing happened! The SUV shrunk down to a pocket size and Dolly picked it up.

"Holy shit! What the hell did I just do?" she cursed as she stared at the shrunken SUV before putting it in her pocket. "Oh well! I sure hope it changes back…"

Then she began to climb, Sam following her. After some time passed, they reached the tunnel. Sam still had his mouth closed, not wanting to tick Dolly off. So he watched, only making comments in his head, as Dolly took the SUV out of her pocket and it returned to regular size. 'What a neat trick!' he thought to himself.

Dolly climbed back in and Sam followed suit. Dolly slowly hit the gas and turned on the high beams as they entered the dark, dank, smelly tunnel. They were both afraid of what horrors might be lurking in the tunnel but neither one said anything about it.

Not too far ahead, Dolly could make out Frodo who had out the light that had been his gift from the Lady of the Golden Wood and Sting, the sword given to him by Bilbo Baggins. He was trying to run away from something big and black. Dolly squinted and made out a shape. She let out a cry when she recognized it.

"It's a giant freakin' Shelob! Ahhh!!!!!"

Dolly hit the gas and began to chase the giant spider with the SUV. Shelob raised her fangs towards the SUV and then decided to run from it. Dolly pursued Shelob until she backed the giant spider into a corner and ran it over, killing it.

"The SUV has come to rescue me!" cried Frodo racing towards it and then got caught in the high beams. "Ahh the light, it's too bright!"

"Get in the trunk, if you want to live," growled Dolly. "And don't say another word or you'll be running to Mount Doom, SUV on your heels."

Frodo nodded and silently climbed into the trunk where Sam was sitting. Dolly backed the SUV and drove out of the end of the tunnel and into the light. Ugh! Why did it have to be a giant spider? Next time there was a possibility of falling into another world, she was checking Tess out for information about giant spiders or she wasn't getting into the car. And onwards Dolly drove towards Mount Doom, now having arrived in Mordor. They were close to the end of the Ring Quest and Dolly was getting closer to going home.

Author's Notes:

I hate Shelob! She had to get run over! And she did! YAY! Anyways, next update due Wednesday, October 6th!

Reviewers!

Dark Borg Drone – Wonderful song! And Eowyn is such a slut! More is coming! I have up to Chap 41 handwritten! It's just a matter of typing it up!

Laer4572 - Yes she is gone and she wouldn't be coming back! So sad, NOT!!!!!

A Darker Side of Light - Yes you did! Lucky you! Faramir will be seen, awake in Chapter 41, just to let you know. And Mary is going to the Battle at the Black Gate. You'll see why soon…

The Shadow of Ghosts - Yea! It's Jak! poke You get to kill someone by poking them soon… And yes it is a happy chappie!

Ari Moon - Rejoice! Rejoice! Yes he is freaky. And that's okay, my brain has already turned to mush.