Disclaimer: I own everything. Mwa ha ha ha. Just kidding. Newies doesn't belong to me.

[A/N]: This story is written COMPLETELY in DOCUMENT FORM.

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Documented

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Chapter Three

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Madison Square

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Dear Spot,

You're not going to kill me, right? Because I called you Spot and not Simon Conlon. Should I beware of a madman at my window with a huge gun?

Is your English teacher's name really Weasel? That does suck. I have a pop quiz in English in two days. What the hell am I supposed to study? Spelling? Grammar? Maybe he's quizzing us on letter writing?

Denton's looking at me really funny because I'm writing. He thinks I'm taking notes. Maybe I should pretend to be studious. That would baffle him. Ha ha.

The only reason why I'm writing this letter is because my friend Racetrack isn't here. He just got suspended again for fighting on school grounds. I honestly don't think he should have been suspended because he was defending himself from Oscar Delancey, who is a big fat bastard.

Was that too vulgar?

Anyway.

I'm not one of those nice private school boys. Nice private school boys join chess club and play sports and are one debate team. I don't do any of those things. All I do is ride my horse and make out with my girlfriend. And I play my guitar.

Race plays guitar, too. Only he's much better than me. I sing better than him, though. Hey, we could be a musical whatsit. A band. Wouldn't that be exciting?

Race's dad is actually friends with some producers, I think. Should I ask him?

I think we actually have a lot more in common than you think. You play bass, I play guitar. Your dad's a dick, my dad's a dick.

Maybe I should explain.

I grew up pretty normally, I think. I had a mom and a dad. I was spoiled because I was an only child. Then Dad started climbing up the occupational ladder. He started caring more about money and statistics than us. I guess it was okay. We were getting money, but we saw less and less of him. I barely ever see him anymore and when I do he just yells at me to work harder.

I hope I never turn out like him.

I probably won't, seeing as the reason he obsessed over his work is because he is not so good looking. His facial hair looks like a small furry animal has crawled onto his upper lip and taken up residency. He also has HUGE glasses. They take up half of his face.

My mother is much nicer and prettier, too. She's a psychiatrist, actually. Maybe she knows your shrink? Maybe not.

Anyway. I've been with Sarah for almost a year because I love her. Maybe that's your problem? You weren't loved enough as a child so you can't love anyone else in return? Sorry, my mom's been lecturing me with her psychological ways.

It's actually bad that you still go to the psychiatrist if there's really nothing wrong with you. You take pills you really don't need, and that's dangerous. That's what my mom says, anyway. She takes pills all the time that are supposed to make her fingers stop shaking but they just make her fingers shake more.

Anyway, the bell just rang and Denton's looking at me even funnier because I'm still writing and class is over.

From,

Jack Kelly

Dear Jack,

I'm not getting out my dad's shotgun because you remembered to call me Spot. And yes, Weasel (real name's Weisel, or something equally as ridiculous) does suck. As for your quiz, I don't know what you should study. What are you doing now in class? You should probably study that.

Or you could just NOT study, like a normal person, because it's a POP quiz. It's supposed to POP up out of nowhere, you know?

Guess what! I'm not in school. I'm skipping. I went this morning because I had a test in Calc but the rest of the day was stupid. I got your letter in English. Then I had lunch, so I decided to leave. I'm too lazy to go back. Guess what else! I went to Mama Chen's for some take out with my GIRLFRIEND.

I was going through sucking-face withdrawal, but then this sophomore came up to me and threw herself at me after that first letter I wrote you. She is quite the good kisser. And she's hot. And she's smart. It's crazy. I think she tries too hard to get everyone to like her, though. It gets annoying a lot of the time. This relationship might last two weeks, give or take a few days.

Anyway.

Sorry about the nice private boy thing. I just assumed and that was wrong. You have a friend that always gets suspended and you play guitar and you're not in any clubs. I'm convinced.

Hang on.

Sorry, I had to cover the paper because Tracy was looking over my shoulder suspiciously. Tracy's my girlfriend, by the way.

We should so start a musical whatsit. Of course, hard to be in a band when we've never even seen each other, ever. And we would need a drummer. Do you know any drummers? I do, but they're all jackasses.

Except for this Skittery guy. That's his name, Skittery. Weird, huh? His parents were drunk when they named him.

So Skittery's an amazing drummer but he's always kind of depressed and stuff unless he's high.

Sorry, you probably didn't want to read that. We're trying to get him to stop and he did for a while but it didn't last.

Your friend Racetrack sounds cool. Is that his real name? Did his parents name him after the place they copulated? If they did, then you can tell him that I'm sorry. Does he get suspended a lot? If he does, you should tell him to stop because then he'll get kicked out of Central and have to come to Duvall High.

Sorry about your dad. See, you KNOW your dad's a dick; my dad's just some guy who gives me money through the mail. I've never actually met him. He must be rich, though, and a prick, because he gives me a lot of money but never visits.

My psychiatrist's name is Jane. She won't let me call her Dr. Whatever because of some crap psychological theory. Her fingers are always shaking, too. Maybe Jane and your mom are taking the same pill. Does your mom know her? Do you know her?

And don't tell me what I can and can't take. Those pills are great. They're good for me.

So how are things with Sarah? I still can't believe you've been with her for a YEAR. That's like a lifetime.

Good luck on your quiz. It'll be tomorrow, I think, right?

Spot

p.s. Tracy says 'Hi.'

Name: Francis Sullivan
Teacher: Denton
Pd: 2
Assignment: Pop quiz. Short Stories
Grade: 93
Comments: Great job! It's almost as if you studied for this, Jack!

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End Chapter Three

[A/N]:

Shoutouts:

Cassies-Grandma: Thank you. I'm glad I amuse. 'Tis a flesh wound! Is that from Monty Python? Or Romeo and Juliet? I can't remember.

Dakki: Don't die! Epistolarily is a great word. But right now it's underlined in red because Microsoft Word doesn't like it. You're like Shakespeare! You make up words!

Ccatt: Woohoo! Bad Boys! What girl doesn't like bad boys? They are the greatest.

i-nv-u50: Of course I forgive you! Everyone needs a daily dose of Newsies. I think it's up to you if Jack looked like an utter fool or not. Maybe he'll remember to mention it later? BTW, does your penname have anything to do with the manga I.N.V.U? 'Cause it's a GREAT manga.

Review please!!!!