Okay, so Bosco telling me he was getting married was a complete shock, but what surprises me more is how much it bothers me. I mean, for 13 years now, all I've ever wanted for Bosco is happiness. I've been waiting for the day when he'd tell me he's found someone he's willing to spend the rest of his life with. Someone he loves more than anything in this world, and someone who loves him just as much. Now that the day has finally arrived, I'm a little confused as to how I feel about it. I guess it's only complicated from my perspective, because I'm pregnant with his child and he doesn't even know it. It's no ones' fault but mine. But seriously, how long has he been dating Grace, four months? Does he really even know her? I don't want to seem rude or selfish, but I just don't want to see Bosco get hurt, he's already been through so much. Some of it was because of me, and I'm still kicking myself over it.

It's been nearly a month since he told me about his marriage plans, but I still find myself thinking about it constantly. Grace is the one that actually set the date. They've got about two months of planning before the actual wedding. And I've got about two months before this baby is born. I can tell Bosco's excited—about the wedding. I've never seen him so gaga over a girl before. Now that they're engaged, he barely talks about anything else but her. Monroe's getting sick of it; she rolls her eyes every time she and Bosco pass by me at the desk. I only smile because I've had to put up with his talking for over a decade now. But it hadn't hit me till today when Bosco stopped by the desk to say 'hi', that things are going to be so different. In a way I'll be losing my best friend because, well, he won't be able to be there for me as much as he's been over the years. He's gonna have a wife and soon a family. A family? Wow, hadn't thought about that either. Bosco definitely wants kids; he fell in love with mine years ago. Even if I'll be giving birth to his first born, at least he'll be having children with the woman he really loves. I know Bosco loves me, but I know he's never been in love with me. That's the big difference between me and Grace. He loves her like a man should love a woman, not like a man loves a friend.

I still find it comforting, to know that, even if Bosco's getting married, he still finds time for me. Between his tuxedo shopping, meetings w/the wedding planner, and outings with Grace, he still finds time to stop by my apartment to see how I am. His visits aren't as frequent as before, but that's a good thing. The less I see him, the less guilty I feel for lying to him about our baby. He dropped off a crib for the baby he had bought last week. I thought it was the sweetest gesture. He said he was going to buy the sheets and blanket too after we find out the sex of the baby. Even if he doesn't know it, he's daddy material. He deserves to be a father, he really does, but he also deserves a wife that loves him, and not a best friend he knocked up after a one-night stand. That's mainly the reason I didn't want him to come today. I wanted him to go shopping for China or something with Grace. The last thing I need is to piss off Grace because I'm spending so much time with her soon-to-be husband. But Bosco insisted that he come. He said he didn't want me to be alone.

"Is this your first?" Dr. Meadows asks, looking from me to Bosco. Bosco glances at me and then smiles at the doctor.

"Third." He tells her.

"Well, congratulations, both of you." Dr. Meadows says, and Bosco's hold on my hand tightens. I look at him, but he's still staring at the doctor.

"No—um—I'm not the father." Bosco informs my doctor, "I just wanted to come down here with Faith. You know—she shouldn't be alone for this."

Dr. Meadows nods. "I understand. You've got a good friend here, Faith." She tells me and I smile, the best actually. Dr. Meadows attention returns to the monitor in front of us. From the corner of my eye, I see that Bosco is also looking at the monitor now, trying to make out what the hazy black, white, and gray images are on the screen. "The baby's in perfect position to determine gender. Would you like to know?"

I look at Bosco again, a hint of anticipation in his eyes. He wants to know just as much as I do. I turn back to Dr. Meadows and nod. She looks at the monitor.

"Well, Faith. You're going to be the mother of a baby girl."

I smile and I notice Bosco's got a huge smile on his face too. He leans forward and kisses me on the cheek whispering a 'congratulations' into my ear. So I'm having a girl. Wow, I'm even more excited now. I can go through that whole phase of braiding hair, and playing dress up again. I really can't wait. I again look at Bosco and notice how excited he looks as well. If he only knew.

I had hoped the ride back to my apartment would be silent, but apparently Bosco's been waiting to talk to me for a long time. He hasn't stopped talking since we left the hospital.

"—so Monroe grabs the guy and I'm freaking out because I'm still pretty far away from her, and well, she's so small and the jagoff was ten times her size. But she surprises the hell out of me, gets him face down on the pavement, and cuffs him. I never saw anything like it before." Bosco says, laughing as he reminisces. I'm glad he and Monroe get along. They seem to really work well together. At least there's a good replacement for me when I'm out on maternity leave. From the corner of my eye, I see Bosco looking at me, "hey, you alright?"

I nod and force a smile, "I'm good."

My reply doesn't seem to satisfy his concern but he lets it go anyway, quickly changing the subject, "well, now that we know you're having a girl. We can go and buy pink sheets or something."

"I think I've still got the ones we used for Em in storage somewhere."

He frowns, "you're not serious?"

"Why?"

"Those sheets are what? 17 years old? No way are you using them for this baby. I'll buy you new ones. It's no trouble at all, Faith. Believe me. I'm happy to help you out." He tells me and I smile. I really don't have the heart to argue with him when he's so sweet and caring like this. So I drop the subject and return to simply staring out the window.

"Grace and I were talking about—." He hesitates, looking as if he should be telling me this or not. I can see how whatever it is, is bothering him so I push the matter.

"What?" I ask.

"Having kids. She says she's not ready. She's finally got it good with being a paramedic, she wants to wait a little while before having a baby." Bosco confesses, I can see his grip on the steering wheel tightening, even to a point where his knuckles are white. If I didn't know any better I'd say he was angry. But I know he's not angry, he's more frustrated than anything else.

"And how do you feel about that?"

He looks at me sadly, "I want kids, Faith. I don't know how much longer I can wait. It's just—for all these years, seeing you—ya know, you got Charlie and Em. Well, you know I love your kids, I mean I love them as if they were my own, but they're not. I want to be a father, I know I can be a great dad, if someone will just give me a chance."

I don't even notice the sudden roundness of my eyes and how wide they've become because a million emotions are running through me all at once. He can't possibly know, can he? Who would've told him? Only I know the truth. Then why is he talking about 'someone' giving him a 'chance' to be a dad? I've gotta calm down and respond, because he's looking at me to say something.

I breathe in deeply and return his gaze, "if you really love Grace, you'll respect her decision. She wants to have children too, Boz. Just not right now. You'll be a father, that much I can—I can—promise."

Bosco seems satisfied with my answer because he smiles at me and returns his attention back to the road. Okay, so he doesn't know but keeping this lie is going to be even harder than I thought. But I can't really do anything about it now, my fate was decided the moment I chose to lie to Bosco. I cannot go back now, he'll never look at me the same, and I will lose all the trust and faith he has in me. Right now, I'm starting to think my life is like a fricken soap opera. How can it get any more complicated?

Thank the Lord, Bosco just drops me off and then heads to meet Grace because any more alone time with him will drive me crazy with guilt. I get up to my apartment as fast as I can, I have to talk to someone, anyone, I have to get this out of me. I reach my apartment, unlock the door, and practically fly it open, unintentionally almost breaking it off its hinges. I get to my phone and oh, looky, my number one speed dial is Bosco. Okay, I can't possibly talk to him about something like this. The next best thing I guess is my mother. I know she won't have any possible contact with Bosco in the near future so she'd be a good person to unload some of my stuff on, especially my 'stuff' concerning Bosco.

"Hello?" Mom has such a soft voice, sometimes I have to strain to hear her.

"Hi, mom."

"Faith?"

"Yeah—how are thing mom? How's dad?" I ask the questions I feel obligated to ask, but what I really want to do is get to the point of why I called.

"Oh, he's fine. He's watching the game show network right now. I was in the kitchen making him a sandwich and a glass of water, even though he says he doesn't want a glass of water, I think water would be good for him. You remember how I used to make you and your brother drink a lot of water when you were kids—."

"Yes, mom, I remember, look, I—."

"How are my two grandchildren, how are you treating Fred?"

I close my eyes, pained by her words, but I force myself to speak, "they're gone, remember, mom? Fred left me for another woman and he took Em and Charlie with him. Is all this coming back to you now, mom?" Okay, maybe calling my mother wasn't such a great idea. If this secret hadn't been about Bosco I would be talking to him right now and suffering with my mother, my last resort to ease some of my tension.

"Oh, yes. I'm sorry, Faith. I just miss my grandchildren. Your brother doesn't come by much anymore either, and—."

"I'm pregnant mom, remember? When the baby's born I'll come by all the time so we can visit you." I tell her, trying to cheer her up. She does sound really sad over the phone right now.

"I'd like that—did you need to speak to your father, he's right here."

"No, mom. I want to speak to you."

"Are you sure, Faith? He's right here."

"Mom, I have to tell you about the father of my baby."

"Father of your baby?"

Does she really have to repeat what I tell her? I'm starting to get really frustrated, seconds away from hanging up this damn phone and forgetting the fact that I even called her. "The father of my baby is—."

"Your father wants to speak to you, here, hold on."

"No! Mom, wait."

"Wait—Faith, who is the father? Okay, never mind your father wants to speak—."

I can't take it anymore, "Bosco! Mom! Bosco's the father of my baby!" I practically shout into the phone. There's a sudden silence as I hear something crash to the floor behind me. I turn around and see Cruz, standing in the doorway, a glass bowl in pieces at her feet, her mouth hung open, and her eyes wide, staring back at me. Oh, God.

"Faith? Faith?"

"Mom, I gotta go."

Talk about more complications.