The room is spinning; everything is going in circles, spiraling into darkness. Everything happened so fast after Cruz barged into the chapel. My entire world crumbled when I followed her outside and she spilled the secret Faith's been keeping from me. Of all people, I would have wanted the truth from anyone—anyone, but her. And to think Cruz knew the truth and I didn't. I never thought I could hate Cruz anymore than I already did. If I didn't have so many witnesses, I'd pull out my gun and shoot her. But she did me a favor in a way because I can't get married without fixing this situation with Faith first. I just hope Grace can understand that.
"Maurice! Wait!" Grace calls after me as I make my way down the chapel steps. I can't think straight right now, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I suddenly feel her pulling me back, turning me to face her. She looks so stunning in her wedding gown, "where are you going, Maurice? Don't go, please!"
"I told you, Grace. There's something I gotta do; questions I need answered." I tell her the first thing that comes to mind and I know it's the honest to God truth. I need answers, I need to hear it from Faith, I need to know the truth behind the lies. Hearing it from Cruz isn't enough, I need the truth from Faith, only then will I believe it. Jeez, I sound like Fox Mulder trying to convince his partner he's worth saving, that there's cause behind his insanity, that the truth is indeed out there. Actually, I think that's how I've been with Faith since the day we got partnered up 13 years ago.
I turn to leave again, but Grace grabs my hand, and my eyes return to her, "I love you." She tells me and it breaks my heart to see how honest and sincere she is.
"Bosco, you comin'?" Cruz shouts from behind me and I'm pulled back to reality, pulled out from the depths of Grace's beautiful, loving eyes.
"Yeah!" I call back, then turn to face Grace one last time, "bye." I reluctantly turn my back on her and make my final descent down the steps. Cruz is waiting in the driver's seat of her car, and I slide across the hood to enter in the passenger side. Everyone watches from the front of the chapel as we drive off. Everyone we invited showed up, even Sully, who hates social get-together, came. All for nothing though because there's not going to be a wedding today, maybe not ever.
"I shoulda told you earlier, but—it's—it's complicated." Cruz tells me, but I remain silent. It didn't have to be so complicated, if Faith just came out and told me the truth from the beginning. I wouldn't have fallen for Grace, I wouldn't have asked her to marry me, and I wouldn't have had to leave her at the altar. I've forgiven Faith for a lot over the years, and she's done the same with me, but this time she's gone too far. "She's 3 days over due, take it easy on her."
I don't reply, I just stare straight ahead, wanting to get there already. How can anyone expect me to take it easy when I just found out that I'm going to be a father? I should be happy at the news, but I'm too pissed off to feel anything positive right now. Or maybe because I was happy—the happiest I've ever been, when I first found out Faith was pregnant. And then completely crushed when she told me her baby wasn't mine.
"You gotta understand why she kept it from you, Bosco. She was only thinking about—." Cruz starts, but I cut her off.
"Can you just drive?" I snap at her because I really don't want to be discussing this with her. I already hate the fact that Faith confided in Cruz, I don't need her defending Faith's 'good' intentions to me. I sigh as I glance at Cruz and remind myself that she's only trying to help me. "Look, I appreciate that you told me and everything, Cruz, but this still doesn't change things between us."
"I'm not looking for things to change between us, Bosco. I told you because I felt you had a right to know the truth before you went off and married Grace." Cruz admits, and as I look her in the eyes, I can tell for the first time, she's being completely honest with me.
"Better late than never, right?" I force a smile, but inside there's this sadness that is pulling so cruelly at my heart, making it hard to even breathe. I can't believe I left Grace standing there. I can't believe I left her for Faith, so willingly I might add. Maybe there was a little hesitation, but the moment the truth came out, I knew I had to see Faith. Marrying Grace had dropped off my priority list, and I hate that I made the decision so quickly, without even a second thought. I didn't know Faith had that effect on me, I didn't know how easily it was for me to drop everything so that I could see her. But I had never imagined I could feel so calm and so at peace as I watched Grace walk down the aisle to me. She was so happy while we stood together at the altar, she was practically smiling from ear to ear. And I must admit, so was I. But if I was so happy with Grace, why was I able to leave her the moment I found out about Faith? I can't explain it, everything's so confusing right now. We finally reach Faith's apartment building and I'm opening the door before Cruz even pulls up to the curb. I start up the steps, but I look back at the sound of Cruz's voice.
"I'll wait here, just in case—you know. Good luck, Bosco."
"I don't believe in luck." I tell her.
"Maybe you should start."
I nod before making my way to Faith's apartment. I take the steps up to Faith's floor, three at a time, and I'm amazed my short legs allow me to do so. I stop in front of her door to catch my breath, I probably already look like a mess, my bow tie came undone on the way up here, and I wipe my forehead where I'm beginning to sweat. I'm so nervous right now, even more nervous than I was while standing at the altar waiting for Grace to show up. Man, I've gotta stop thinking about Grace right now. I gotta get into the mood to yell and scream at Faith even though I don't think I have the heart to do either right now. I suck in a deep breath, before I turn the surprisingly unlocked doorknob and push open the door. All I want is the truth from her, and I'm finally going to get it.
Faith's apartment is quite as I enter. The curtains are closed so the place is mostly dark except for a soft light that draws me into the living room. I find her sleeping on the sofa. I couldn't have showed up at a worse time because as I look down at her right now, I can't think of anything else but how incredibly beautiful she looks. I sit down on the coffee table in front of the sofa, and I am unable to tear my eyes from her face. The dim light from her lamp in the corner of the room lightly touches Faith, outlining the strong yet delicate features of her face. She looks so peaceful when she sleeps. I reach out to touch her cheek slightly. Her skin is so soft.
My eyes move from her face down to where her hand rests lightly on her stomach. She's lying on her side, probably the most comfortable position given that she's pregnant. I shut my eyes tight and bury my face in my hands, propping my elbows on my knees. Oh, God, why? Why is this happening to me? I wanna be angry, I wanna throw things, punch things, but I haven't even the heart to wake Faith and confront her. What's wrong with me? Why am I so forgiving when it comes to her? How can I be so angry with her one minute, then looking at her the next, can completely melt my resolve? I feel a tear escape from the corner of my eye and I quickly wipe it away. I'm a broken man, I know now.
"Bosco?" I look up at the sound of Faith's voice, and find myself meeting her concerned gaze, "what are you doing he—the wedding?" I can't bring myself to respond. I don't even know what to say to her right now. I tried mapping it out in my head before I got here but as I stare at her right now, I find myself at a lost for words. I hold my breath as I force my gaze not to waver.
"Bosco? What's wrong?" She asks, sitting up slowly. I almost help her but I think better of it, remembering the fact that she's been lying to me for months. She's sitting up directly in front of me now, our knees almost touching. I don't look away as I see nothing but concern in her eyes as she looks back at me. Why does she have to look at me that way? "Boz? Why aren't you getting married right now?"
Just come out and say it Boscorelli, "I had to hear it come from you, Faith." Is all that I can bring myself to say as I watch her reaction. At first, she looks confused, but then the realization sinks in as she reads the emotion I'm trying to mask in my eyes. It's the truth when I say no one knows me better than Faith. I don't even have to tell her how I'm feeling because she knows by what she sees in my eyes.
"Bosco—I—."
"No more lies, Faith, please. I just want the truth—just tell me—please, it's all I ask." I try hard to keep my voice from cracking. I see the tears developing in her eyes, and I fight to bite back my own. I cannot see her cry right now, I cannot let her break me. She remains silent, guilt and remorse reflected in her eyes. When she looks away, breaking eye contact, I finally know all I need to. She has been lying to me, she has been keeping my own child from me, and she has decided all on her own that I'd never know about our daughter. A sudden anger consumes me as I stand from the coffee table and before I can stop myself, I grab the wooden table and flip it, watching as the contents crash to the floor.
"Bosco!" Faith exclaims. I turn to see her standing from the couch, looking at me wide-eyed. Her expression is stunned, but I don't want her to be surprised by my actions. I want her to be scared, I want to show her how angry I am, all the rage that's been building up in me since the minute Cruz walked into that chapel.
"How'd you do it?—how'd you keep it from me for so long—without breaking? I mean, do you at least feel some guilt? Any remorse, any shame? Or am I so bad of a person that you didn't want me to be the father of your kid?" I snap, letting my anger control me, "how could you do this to me, Faith?"
She still doesn't say anything. She just looks at me with her wounded eyes. Instead, of making me feel bad for yelling at her, I find myself getting even more pissed off. She's not getting away with this lie, she crossed the line with this one. I step forward so that I'm standing right in front of her. As angry as I am right now, I still look down to make sure I'm not in any way able to hurt the baby. Faith stands her ground though even with me glaring at her. She even lifts her chin ever so slightly.
"Do you even feel sorry for what you did?" I ask, as I bite my lip hard, keeping myself from breaking down in tears.
"Of course I do—."
"But why'd you do it, Faith? I don't understand—how could you think it would be okay for you to keep me from my own daughter? How is that right, Faith? How is that benefiting to her, growing up without a father?" I watch her shake her head and I have a sudden urge to grab her right now, but instead I run my fingers through my hair and turn away from her. I walk forward a few paces before turning back to face her.
"And this crap about going back to Fred? That a lie too?"
"I needed a reason not to go to your wedding."
"So you get me angry with you? So what, you'd be able to live with yourself another day if you didn't have to see me so often? I hope it's been worth it, I hope this is eating you up inside, Faith. I hope you're feeling the pain I am right now."
"Of course I do! I'm hurting too, Bosco. All I've ever wanted was for you to be happy!"
"How do you know what makes me happy? Didn't you stop to think that maybe I was happy with you? That I was happy knowing I was going to be the father of your baby?"
"Bosco, I thought..."
"No, Faith. You didn't think at all!"
"When I saw you with Grace, saw they way you smiled when you were with her, I couldn't bring myself to tell you the truth. I wanted you happy with a life you've chosen not have to live the consequences one night between us lead to!"
"You never gave me a choice, Faith! You never cared enough to. It should've been my decision! Mine! I'm sick of you always deciding what's best for me. You should've told me the truth and let me—." I stop as the color drains from Faith's face.
"Bosc—." She utters before she falls forward into my arms.
"Faith!" I can't hide the fear in my voice as I catch her and bring her to a sitting position on the sofa, "Faith, what's wrong?" She looks so pale, so weak and my concern for her right now is overshadowing any anger and resentment I had only mere seconds ago as I look at her. "Faith?"
Faith's eyes grow wide as she looks at me, "Bos—I think my water just broke."