A/N: Thanks for your attention... ladies, and gentlemen, it's the moment to end this fic. :) I can't believe it's my first finished fic! (One-shots aside. LOL.)

What's taking them so goddamned long? Melissa clenched her fists under the table as she watched her sister pretend to be having a nice time. But in fact, she was climbing up the walls –She could tell that. The looks she was sending her weren't the friendly sort. It was more like an 'I'm going to kill you' glare.

Mulder was starting to freak out too, at this point. Nigel seemed so nice to everyone that nobody would have thought he was the 'bad guy' in here. The FBI agent chatted with him as if nothing was going on in his mind... and poor Nigel seemed to be buying it. And, now that Melissa looked at him closely, he was very nice indeed.... After ten seconds (had it been minutes?), she noticed she'd been staring, and that her sister had noticed. She blinked and pretended to fix her hair, but in the brisk movement she just got to mess it even more.

She cleared her throat and licked her lips, trying to think of something to say that would get her away of this mess before her Dana killed her. As they stared in silence, the two men turned to them, surprised that they had nothing to tell each other.

''If you'll excuse me...'' Mel stood from her seat in front of the surprised looks from Mulder and Scully. She started to head to the bathroom, and much to her relief, Nigel had done the exact same thing. In a matter of two seconds, he'd caught up with her on their way upstairs to the toilets.

''What was that about?'' He asked with a casual smile.

''Hmm?'' She pretended to not know what he was telling her. ''What do you mean? There is nothing going on.''

''Right. You've done this on purpose, have you?'' He asked. Melissa blinked. Twice.

''I don't think you know anything about this, mind you. This is way beyond your comprehension.'' She tried to keep her voice cool, but there was something that was irremediably making her feel a bit odd. Maybe something she'd eaten?

''You always knew how this would end up.'' He stated. ''You are trying to set them up.'' Melissa mouthed a 'What?' that never quite escaped her lips. ''You are special. If you try hard enough, you can hear what people think. And...''

''... You can do it too.'' She finished for him. ''I knew there was something about you that I found extraordinary. You knew about my plan all along. Why didn't you say anything earlier?''

''I didn't get the chance.''

''So...'' She noticed they were stuck at the top of the staircase, there, looking like two idiots who finished each other's phrases. ''What does this mean?''

''In my opinion.... that if there is a tense silence going on down there, we'll just have to push them a bit until they realize what all of this is about.'' He started heading downstairs again. She continued to the bathroom. ''Where do you go?''

''To fix my hair.'' She answered. Nigel sent her a charming smile.

''From where I'm standing, it looks perfect.''

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Mulder and Scully were still where they'd left them. She glanced nervously at the door, or lowered her gaze to the white tablecloth, pretending that Mulder wasn't there. He was doing quite the opposite thing. He deliberately watched the red head as if it were the most interesting thing in the world – and compared to the dull restaurant, it was.

''I can't believe you did this to me.'' She said, out of the blue, as she finally turned to look at him. ''It was your way of revenge, was it?'' She sounded hurt, and keeping her voice in barely a whisper seemed to be taking her lots of effort.

''I don't know what you mean.'' He said, pretending to be innocent.

''Don't you?'' She said, slightly louder this time, making a man in the nearest table turn to look at them. She noticed he was watching and lowered her voice again. ''Missy and you seem to be getting on really well, right? And a couple of days ago you wouldn't have remembered her if you saw a case of red-haired witches!''

''Are you talking about her or you?'' He snapped back.

''Mulder, you are pushing your luck a bit too much.'' She coldly replied. ''If this is some sort of joke, stop it. And if it isn't... let's rewind all I said and pretend it never happened.'' She returned her gaze to the tablecloth and hoped that Nigel and her sister would appear at any moment.

What she didn't know was that Nigel and Mel were watching them from the door, half-hiding, listening to what they said. This sort of reaction was what they'd been wanting to see all along, and now they were not going to come in and end the private war these two were having. It didn't matter too much that some of the waiters and several people at the restaurant

Whatever they were about to do was nothing but finishing all this stupid argument, if they liked it or not. Melissa and Nigel started mentally pushing them, slowly letting all the silence and politeness go... and hope for the best.

''Who do you think will stop thinking and yell at the other first?'' Nigel asked.

''None of them.'' Melissa answered. ''All this yelling and sarcasm is only a facade. If we let them behave normally now and say what they feel, they might start to cry, you know.''

''Do you notice how evil we are by making them make fools of themselves?''

''Yes, I do. And I love it.''

''Me too.'' They both smiled. ''You know what? When I was first introduced to them I thought that they were already married. They were fighting about who was driving next and about a stop sign that apparently he'd missed. And it took them half an hour to notice I was standing there watching them!''

''Yes, sometimes they just think about themselves or each other. The rest of the world is not even there.'' Melissa continued. ''I actually got to meet Mulder while my sister was at the hospital, and well... he was so close to the nervous breakdown that he acted all strong and mean towards me.''

''Until...?''

''Until I basically psycho-analyzed him.'' She turned to look at Nigel for a second, and then quickly back to the table where Mulder and Scully were sitting. ''He was looking at me as if I'd grown another head at first. Do you know how long it took him to react to what I'd said? Three seconds.''

''A world record.''

''I know.''

And then they stopped talking because Scully had just left her seat and started heading to the door. Melissa and Nigel hid behind it so that she was unable to see them.

''Where are you going?'' Mulder asked, as he rose after her.

''Where is she going?'' Melissa hissed to Nigel.

''Home. I'm not staying here so that you can act however you want.''

''Now, this sucks.'' Nigel continued in a whisper.

''I'm not acting however I want. Wait for Nigel to come back, he won't take long.'' Mulder said.

''Pffft.'' Nigel snorted. ''How little you know, man...''

''Tell him there was an emergency at home. That an aunt died or something, I'm sure you can manage a believable lie.'' Ouch. Melissa and Nigel grimaced. ''Because I don't know if you are lying now, or you've been pretending all this time.''

''Pretending to care, you mean?'' Mulder answered. By now every single head in the restaurant was turned their way, but none of the agents seemed too bothered. ''I never pretend that sort of thing and you should know by now. But it really ticked me off that you ran off with some village idiot first chance you had.''

''...some village idiot!?'' Nigel started to say, but Melissa put a hand over his mouth so that they didn't ruin the scene they'd just made happen.

''It's just a way of talking!'' Melissa tried to calm him down.

''I didn't run off with anyone! It's you! You always seem to mess things up, don't you? You never get the hints, you never seem to notice!'' Scully shot back, absolutely unaware of the conversation that was going on behind the door – thank God.

''Me? Whenever I act caring you just seem to back away. You seem to turn cold and uncaring. Every time I think that all we've been through was actually for something, you say something that puts me off!'' He replied.

''Me!?''

''Excuse me, sir, madam.'' A posh English waiter said from behind them. ''But I think that this discussion should continue at home. Marital fights should not be a public matter. And that's exactly what it is at this moment.'' Mulder and Scully now noticed that everyone in the room was watching them. She paled, and he blushed considerably. ''Now, if you'll excuse me, I recommend that you finish this argument. It looks pretty clear that whatever happened was a misunderstanding.''

''More like a lack of communication.'' Mulder muttered under his breath. ''I've fought murderous Monsters, gotten into the witch's lair and tried to fight Prince Charming. This is the silliest Fairy Tale ever.''

''But hopefully it will have a happy ending.'' A little girl said from behind Mulder. He turned to look at her. She had rosy cheeks and a cute babyish face. Her blonde hair was up in two pigtails tied with pale pink ribbons, and she wore a dress of the same color. She had an illustration book in her hand and showed the last page to Mulder, the one that said 'The End' and showed a happy couple. ''See?''

''Sorry to contradict you.'' Scully told the waiter in front of everyone, who was paying attention to them – and saying how cute the little girl was. Her parents, on a near table, felt so proud. ''But you said 'marital problems'. You see, we work for the FBI, we are not married.''

''Yet.''

''What?'' Scully turned around to face Mulder with a shocked expression on her face.

''What!?'' Melissa and Nigel asked right behind them, a bit louder than they should have, poking their heads in the room to see what was happening.

''Something we'll solve... soon, I hope.'' Mulder finished. ''Now, you are right. Maybe we should leave?'' Scully still stared at him as he let the little girl trot back to her parents and he faced her again. She nodded, and as they started heading to the door, she got hold of his arm and he pulled her into a kiss. Half of the room went 'awwww'. The other half started to clap. The posh waiter said that next time this happened, he'd take it on video and sell it to the guests as a souvenir.

They finally reached the restaurant's room, and Mulder turned slightly around and called over his shoulder:

''And you two can stop hiding now!'' They left the restaurant with a smile, leaving the two telepaths there to deal with the situation.

'' So... fancy dinner and let the waiter take us in video while we make scene?''

''You read my mind.''

THE END! :D