Amarte Es Mi Pecado translation Loving You Is My Sin.

This story is an idea from sethanykramer who asked me to attempt to write it to her ideas. This is a collaboration of two minds and one love of Harry Potter and Severus Snape fan fiction. We hope you will enjoy our creative joint works in this story thank you. Tazthedevilman aka fantasysafterdark.

Chapter 1

It had been 4 years since the downfall of Lord Voldemort at the hands of Harry Potter and Severus Snape. They as a team found out and executed the most impossible task of killing the wizard, making sure his soul would not return. This attempt was the most unbelievable feat that the wizarding world was still in shock over.

Harry Potter and Severus Snape had come up with the only way to defeat the said evil wizard, and the only way for them both to accomplish this was to bond.

It wasn't such a hard task to fulfill as they had both grown closer in their attempts to plot and foil the dark lord. They trained together and spent much of their spare time with each other growing close without either one knowing just how close they would become.

Albus Dumbledore the wise old wizard was for the first time in his life surprised when Harry and Severus came to him with their plan, but accepted it and bonded the two powerful wizards together as they wished. Harry's friends Ron and Hermione were not as happy with the situation. Ron refused to come to the bonding but Hermione had spent her whole time at Hogwarts supporting her best friend and did not wish to stop now. She felt that there had to be another way but gave in when the two wizards explained in detail all of their findings. She accepted it and stood by Harry when he bonded with Severus.

A few years have passed since the bonding and the defeat of Tom Riddle. Harry and Severus made a life for themselves and continued to grow closer. They had two beautiful children one boy Jonathan Benvolio Potter-Snape with black eyes to match Severus' and the mass of unruly messy hair to match Harry's. They also had a girl too her name was Arianna Michelle Potter-Snape she was the epitome of beauty with red hair and sparkling emerald eyes to match her father. Severus told Harry that she looked exactly like Lily his mother. Harry was expecting his third child and all was happy in the Potter-Snape household. Little did they know that their lives would someday soon turn upside-down from insecurities, low self worth and a lot of pain in both men's hearts.

Tragedy struck the happy Potter-Snape home one day. Harry had been feeling a bit out of sorts and went to lie down. He went to the bathroom and relieved himself before the dizziness took over and he fell to the floor in his attempt to reach the bed. Harry Potter-Snape lay passed out just beyond the reach of his bed, blood pooled around his middle as the miscarriage took hold.

Severus had wondered where Harry got too and went off in search of his husband. What he saw when he found him made his face turn ghastly white and thoughts stream forward in his mind. 'Oh my god is he dead?' Severus finally got his wits about him and rushed forward calling out Harry's name in the process. He checked to find that he was loosing a lot of blood and that he was indeed in the process of losing their child. He tried to stop the bleeding but not being a medi wizard could only slow the flow. He ran to the fireplace that was in their room and fire called for Madame Pomfrey to come immediately. She did and took over for the distraught Severus Snape, as all he could do was hold the pale cold hand of his love.

After an hour of work Madame Pomfrey stood back and placed a hand on Severus' shoulder and spoke softly.

"I'm sorry Severus there was nothing I could do."

Severus began to panic, 'what did she mean? Was he going to lose both his husband and child?' His thoughts were stopped when she continued to explain.

"I couldn't save the baby Severus, but Harry will be fine in a few days. He will be very upset over the loss but physically he will heal."

A single tear fell from the stoic man's face as he nodded his thanks to Poppy. He would still have Harry and they could always have more children if Harry wanted them. Harry woke briefly over the next two days; he was drugged so heavily to keep him calm and still to heal better that he really didn't know what was going on. Severus stayed by his side whenever he could. Comforting Harry as good as he knew how, being as they were just learning how to show their feelings toward one another. Sure they loved each other there was no doubt in Severus' mind. Both had grown up with little or no love and affection placed on them. It was hard for them to show just what each other felt, and were slowly trying to open up to each other.

It had been a week since the miscarriage of their child and Severus was slowly running out of idea's to help his bereft husband.

Harry sat in his chair in the room that would have been for Harry junior, rubbing the empty spot of his abdomen as he thought back to when he first found out he was pregnant again.

"Your pregnant Mr. Snape, you will have a new little boy in a few months time. That is the only thing wrong with you." Poppy smiled at the shocked look and smile that began to spread across Harry's face.

He placed his hand on his stomach and began to rub small circles over it and spoke to his belly. "Hello there," Harry frowned he did not want to call the baby boy it brought back bad memories. Instead he thought of his name smiling he continued. "Hello there Harold James Potter-Snape Junior. Welcome to the family."

Harry's mind returned to the present and the new memory of the only time he got to hold his son Harry Jr. Poppy had cleaned up the dead child and when Harry woke to find out what had happened she allowed him to hold his son. The child was very tiny and a blue color adorned its pale body. His eyes were shut having not had a chance to open to see the world. In Harry's opinion the child would have closely resembled himself if he had, had a chance to live.

A week went by and Severus began to worry over Harry's well being. He would not leave that room for more than to use the loo and eat, which Severus had almost had to drag him down to eat at times. Severus' nerves were beginning to draw taunt and he was shortly a fuse away from blowing his top over the way Harry was acting. Severus had taken over complete care of the children and they were beginning to miss their other father. Coming to the end of his rope Severus headed up to have a talk with Harry. He entered the room to see Harry sitting staring out of the window the same place he always sat.

Clearing his voice Severus spoke, "Harry it is not good for you to sit in here all the time."
Harry did not answer Severus and continued to stare off into space. This only caused Severus to get angry he had tried being nice and considerate but it wasn't working, next try would be the Snape of old.

"I expect you to come out and be a part of this family again. Yes you lost our child and it can be devastating and very emotionally draining for you but—." A very irate green-eyed wizard cut off Severus's words.

"What would you know about how I feel, you didn't spend 7 months carrying our child keeping him safe as best I could. And for what for him to die on me before he was even allowed to breathe!"

"Harry I am just trying to get you to realize you do have two other children that need you and that you have to get over what happened."

"I will never get over what happened you insensitive prick! How dare you tell me what I should do? You the one who can't even show the slightest of emotion or care for anyone. Oh no not Severus Snape it would ruin your image of the mean and nasty person everyone expects you to be!" Harry turned back to the window as the tears started to fall.

"Just leave me alone you will never understand and I just don't care to deal with you anymore."
Severus felt awful, it was true he was a insensitive prick and yes he didn't know what Harry was going through but it was his child too that he lost and when he was faced with almost losing Harry too. Yet he did not cry only that solitary tear fell the day it had happened.

"I... I am sorry Harry I know I will never know what you have gone through but there are other things that are more important to think about right now. We have two other children that need both of their fathers and you have shut us out completely. We hurt too in our own way I am sorry you feel that I do not care, but I do." Severus bowed his head and turned slowly and walked out of the room.

Harry eventually did come out of the room, but he was not the same. He walked around the house in a daze he paid little or no attention to his two developing young children and this cause more angry words to come from Severus. They began to nit pick at each other over anything and everything. Finally Harry had, had enough and packed an over night bag and took off with out a second thought to his family.

Emotionally distraught and without knowing what to do Harry had found himself in Muggle London staring off down a crowded street. People walked past him and stared but did not say anything. Harry did not look good and was pale and sickly looking; his legs started him moving through the crowd not really knowing where they were leading him. He bumped into people as they passed him causing them to send glares his way, which he didn't notice. He looked around at where he had ended up and found himself in a small park with a few benches. Harry walked over to one and sat down his mind unfocused and confused he just sat.

It had been over eight hours of him sitting there on the park bench when a voice interrupted his blank thoughts.

"Are you all right young man?" The voice was soft and soothing to Harry's tired brain.

Harry looked up and tried to focus on who had spoke when his eyes landed on a man in his mid thirties he believed. The man smiled from where he was squat in front of Harry.

He was absolutely gorgeous, shimmering dark blue eyes flashing back with concern for his well being. The man had a perfectly handsome face with soft but aristocratic features. Long sandy blonde hair tied back in a leather strap revealing the oval outline of his face. The man had a small mustache and goatee of soft blonde and brown. From where the man knelt, Harry could see that this man was well built in all the right places, strong firm and in Harry's eyes absolutely stunning.

"Are you all right? Can I get you something or take you to the hospital?" The man with the soft voice spoke again.

Harry stumbled over his words trying to get them out.

"I...uh... no I am all right thank you."

"It no problem I couldn't help but notice you, you look so lost are you sure there isn't anything I can do for you? How about a cup of coffee and a good ear to tell your troubles too."

Harry gave him a small smile and said. "Thanks I think I would like the coffee and I really should get up from here."
"Yes you should I think you have been sitting there all day, I saw you this morning when I came to work and it doesn't look as if you've moved but an inch. Come on I'll help you stand." the man smiled and helped Harry up from the bench and kept hold of his waist as they started to walk towards the nearest coffeehouse.

"By the way my name is Julian, Julian Ragnor. What's yours?"

"Harry, Harry Potter." He said not giving his true last name.

"It's nice to meet you." Julian smiled down at the face of the man he held in his arms as they walked to the coffee shop. Julian sat Harry down in a booth far from others and went to retrieve to cups of hot coffee.

"Here this should warm you up a bit."

Harry smiled and thanked the man as he began to sip on the hot liquid.

"So what has you so troubled that you would sit for hours on end."
"It's complicated."

"I see, well if you wish to tell my anything I'm all ears."

"Thanks its just hard to talk about, I kind of had a fight with my partner." Harry couldn't say husband nor could he say he'd just lost the child he was carrying.

"Yes that can cause a bit of turmoil, I have had that same problem as yourself. From first hand knowledge I suspect he said something that can't be taken back?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure you are not over reacting maybe things will work themselves out."
"No its over, I just feel so empty inside."

Julian placed his soft hand over the one that lay on the table of Harry's and smiled. "Why don't you spend the night at my home with me, it would be a lot safer than being on your own right now. I promise I won't try to take advantage of you if that is what you are worried about."

"Why are you being so nice?"

"Lets just say I too am just getting over losing the man I've been with for several years and I know what you are going through."

"Oh." Harry had just realized that this gorgeous man was gay and available. He shook his head to clear his thoughts

"So how about it I have plenty of room. And with only an over night bag I don't think you planned that far ahead for any other place to stay."

"Thanks."

"Good drink up and I will take you home. You can take a shower and sleep, you will feel a lot better after you do."