Only a Fragment

by Arkady Nekozukii

Two years after my meeting with Duo, Operation Meteor started... two years after that I’d lost everything a second time around. The Alliance and Oz were the same thing and even then thousands of people trusted Oz. Humans are really stupid

Warnings: Hmm, I guess language, even though I don't really use it much, religious matters and spoilers of the Episode Zero and of the novels, so be careful if you don't know them. Also, this story is from the POV of an Original Character, so, if that bothers you... is better if you don't read it.

Only a Fragment

- Is horrible! Is clearly a representation of the complete misery of human's beings! – yelled the man with earnestness.

I shake my head, a sad smile shaping my lips.

- - - - -

It was a horrible, horrible pain. It felt like my lungs would explode any minute now!

I coughed weakly. Then I coughed more loudly, and more and more. Damn it! I was coughing so much and with so much force that I felt like my brain was going to come out from my nose.

- There you are! – I heard the light voice of Dash.

He found me kneeling in the ground, my hands in my chest while I hold it painfully.

Great! Now the new kid was going to think I was a wuss...

You were to never go out alone. Never ever go out alone. It was one of the rules. There was some protection when we where together, specially being so small. Duh! It was the goddamn point in forming a gang. Solo repeat it every second. It was one of the rules to maintain us safe, to maintain us alive. And Solo was always right.

Even then, I hated being the partner of Dash. He was the new kid inside the gang and Solo gave him his nickname because he was really fast. Dash only was six years old, but the goddamn kid was one of the best pickpocket to have ever laid feet on the streets of L2. Before I was the best in the gang! Now I only was the second best. Hmph!

- Another cough attack, little one? – he laughed, unconcerned but helping me to stand up.

Between the pain in my chest and the humiliation that I felt, I couldn't do more than send him a glare of reproach.

- Don't forget – I said when I could talk again – that I am of your same age, Dash.

- Maybe – he smirked – But even so, I am much more taller than you – he said, pointing out our different sizes. He only was a millimeters more tall!

- You bastard... – I mumbled, mockingly annoyed.

He only laughed.

- Come on Cat – he said – Is best if we go, Solo must be waiting for us.

I nodded and shrugged his support, walking away quickly.

Our hiding-place was an old two-store house. The ceiling in the second floor was nonexistent and frankly the house was falling to pieces very frequently (and literally) but it was enough for us.

- Dash and Cat, they have come! – yelled Dash melodramatically, announcing our return.

From the door that connected the hall to the living room appeared the head of Solo. Our leader smiled.

- So late, little cockroaches – Solo said lively, making signals to follow him.

I smiled. Solo told us that we have to be strong and resist like the cockroach or we wouldn't survive. Little but strong. The life will not destroy us.

- You weren't worried, were you? – joked Dash

- A tiny bit. You were later than I expected. – admits Solo, shrugging without concern.

Dash only half smirked.

- And that doesn't tell you how much tired you are? – he asks mockingly

Solo has been awake for two days straights, stealing because the food simply isn't enough. He definitely needs to sleep.

- No – Solo dryly replies, finally answering – The burning sensation in my eyes and the buzz in my ears is telling me how strained I am.

There was a sepulchral silence... and then everybody laughed.

The gang was not big. Not in number, nor in age.

Solo was the oldest of all us, he had cobalt eyes and dark-blond hair that was a little long. No longer than Dash of course. The hair of Solo reached his shoulders, like mine did. With his nine years, he was the older. He was funny, easy going though a little dry when you disobeyed him, but also happy in his own way. We all admired him a lot, he was very smart and the one that brings more money of all us.

The chubby guy with short spiky hair was Dart. After Solo, he was the oldest, with only seven years. Dart was nice... but also a dummy. To tell the truth we didn't respect him at all, but he was a good guy. Solo teased him sometimes, but the one that didn't leave him alone was Dash.

Mad Dog had short blond hair that is a little curly. We called him M.D. to shorten his name and until now I still don't have a freakiest idea where his name comes from, when I come to the gang he had it already. He almost had seven years, but was still six. In a couple of weeks was his birthday. He was Dart's best friend.

Ren had six years, the same as Dash (and me, of course). Ren had short brown hair. In my opinion he was, along with Tommy, the most naïve of the gang, through the guy had a very sharp tongue.

Then there was Tommy, the youngest of the team. He was barely five! And he was only recently five, only a couple of months. Tommy was blond, had straight hair, though he always covert it with a big cap, his hair barely visible. That was a lucky child. He still remembered his real name!

The last member was Dash. Dash had six years, long, long hair that was dark brown, but mostly because we don't shower often enough. He was one of those kids that can easily confound with a girl. And that is a fact that he hates to death. He was a jest and sometimes it perturbed us just how much he was like Solo.

Well, not in intelligence. I mean, Dash was very smart, but not like Solo. Solo was wise, and it was a type of intelligence learned only by the years. Dash had lived sometime in the streets by himself, but this was the first gang he was in a gang. There were a lot of things he didn't know.

- If that's the case, oh great boss, you should rest – suggested Dash, once the laugh has subside. – The least we want is to have a dead leader. – his voice was light, but there was a seriousness in his eyes that betrayed him.

Solo only shook his head.

- I'm fine Dash, there isn't enough yet. – he explained, showing all that was recollected so far for all of us. The things on the table were only enough for tonight.

Dash frowned, lifting the nose cutely and putting the hands in his hips.

- Solo, you need to rest – he almost ordered – Cat, help me to show some sense to your great boss. – he asks me, sending a furious glare to Solo.

- Solo knows what he does Dash – was all I said. Besides... what could I do?

Dash snorted.

- Sometimes I doubt it – he mumbled and turning around he was gone.

We all could hear him swearing softly to himself.

- Don't worry, he will find it usual in no time. To think of me like a dead men. – said Solo jokingly, but none of the guys laughed.

- - - - -

- ... do it Solo? – I heard Dash voice.

That night I have gone to talk with Dash, because (for some reason) the only person that kid listened besides Solo, was me.

However, hearing the name of our leader, I stilled immediately, the door only open a little. Solo was in Dash's room?

I spied discreetly and I saw the unmistakable form of Solo, laying besides Dash, who in turn was down on the couch, a thin sheet above them. I will never understand the habit of Dash, always covering his body. It doesn't matter if it's hot or not, Dash has always something on him, always sleeps with a sheet. Apparently he is chilly, something that is not good being orphan.

- Why do you ask Dash? – smiled Solo

Dash gave him a hard stare. Solo sighed heavily. And, to my great surprise, his smile died immediately, leaving only a blank expression. Suddenly he looked older, much more older than I thought, than he really was. He hasn't stopped smiling only with his lips; it was like all his body had lost that glow. His eyes, always mocking or happy now looked almost indifferent. Almost dead.

That couldn't happen. Solo was always laughing. Solo was always happy. Solo couldn't' be so solemn! Not that way! Solo was...!

- Did you knew that no creature can smile? – Solo asks seriously

Just like me, Dash blinked, confused. I don't know what might have asked before I showed up, but definitively this was not the answer he was expecting.

- What the hell are you talking about, Solo? – he questioned finally.

- No living creature can smile – Solo started explaining – The cats mewl, the dogs bark, the birds sing, the bees buzz... but none of them can smile – he talked calmly – I don't see why I have to worry for some things, little Dash – that was maybe answering whatever thing Dash asked, the thing I hadn't hear – That's why I smile. Why must I let the problems of today make me bitter? I can also be sad Dash, I can also tire and certainly I also fall in despair. But if I smile at ours failures, if I smile at ours problems and at ours sadness, it will be less burden for all of you.

- But... – interrupts Dash, softly – then you make them your own.

- Maybe – grants Solo, a small smile shaping his lips.

Dash also smiled softly. I wanted to cry.

- How do you do it? – asks Dash – How is it that you don't fall exhausted, Solo?

- When you don't have anything at all... your baths are those of hate, kid, of hate. – mumbled Solo – When I am tired, when I'm about to break... I only remember all that I have lost, remember all that that the Alliance took from me and that hurts... and makes me angry, makes me hate. And that keeps me alive.

- Solo – called Dash.

- Yeah?

- Life sucks – mumbled the kid without energy.

- Well... – smiled Solo – It has it's moments, little cockroach – he said, disheveling Dash.

He and Dash laughed while I closed the door cautiously, leaving them alone.

It isn't true, and I am certain the both of them know. Maybe the life smiled at you sometimes, like when you could steal food. It was better when you steal money. But more than that... there is only pain, cold, fear, loneliness and emptiness. All of us were confident that if we died today, no one would care. We will be no more than a few more corpses in L2 statistics. I, with my six years and average intelligence could tell that. One have to be blind to not see that and be like that was not possible, was something only reserved to the idiots and innocents.

Solo and Dash were neither.

That night I didn't sleep. I meditate over the thing I had heard. And about those two persons...

Solo was our pillar. He was our father and mother. He was our big brother. He was our protector.

Solo was none of that to Dash.

Well, maybe a big brother, maybe his protector on some level, but not his pillar, much less his parents.

Solo was his friend.

- - - - -

You know something? I used to cry. When I was child, a real child, when I just lost all because of the war, I used to cry. I cried everyday, the life was shit and I used to cry until I slept, alone. Little sobs would be heard from me. I could do it, it was part of my agony, of the torture of a child all alone in a horrible world that he didn't understood. I am sure all the others kids have done the same, all before Solo.

But when I met Solo, I didn't cry, well, not always at least. Sure, life was still a shit and I was still hungry, but now I wasn't alone.

The name of our leader was always a contradiction to me. I didn't know someone with so many people around him, least of all so many people who loved them and respected them sincerely. Solo was never alone. 1

Or that was what I thought until that night, until that conversation between our leader and Dash where I heard that without meaning to. It was then that I saw that Solo... was truly alone 1. More than any of us had being.

And the worst part of all was that now I knew it, but I was too dependent of him to make him company.

- - - - -

I had fever. I was unfitted to go out, to steal. Damn it!

- More water? – asked Tommy, a little insure.

I nodded, the small gesture costing me greatly.

All L2 was suffering from the effects of a powerful plague. It affected your lungs and throat, slowly destroying your respiratory system. Some said that it was a new virus from the Alliance; they used it to kill all street rats. Like us.

Almost all the gang was sick, the only ones fine were Solo, Dash and Tommy. Tommy stayed to take care of us, always looking nervous, surely afraid of the illness. Even then, he did take care of us.

Suddenly a noise catches our attentions. With effort I lifted my head. Tommy almost throws the water while I gasped. Our surprise was reasonable.

It was the very first time that Solo collapsed in front of us.

From the first time that I laid eyes on Solo, I saw him like the very representation of human strength. Always ready with a smile, always sufficiently strong to stay awake for days without rest and not even once I had seem him cry. At first I thought it had something to do with the age. He was, after all, the oldest of all. Maybe, with the time, when we grew up we will be more resistant. Maybe, life would not be so sad.

And even after that conversation that a listened between him and Dash, I still believed that Solo was a type of god, and almighty being. He was our leader and pillar after all.

But...

- Solo!

- Tommy, bring water!

- Yes!

... that day we were reminder that...

- The towels, someone bring towels!!

- Yeah! Here there are!

- Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

... Solo was human.

- - - - -

I was almost fainting, but I wanted to know how well Solo was. I wanted to know how Solo really was!

Solo had fallen sick, apparently of the same virus than us. Years after, I understood that while he was offering comfort to us plus being awake for nights without rest and taken in count his malnutrition, it was obvious why Solo was sick the worst of all. But then, at that time, I was still an ignorant and analphabet kid of six years.

Dash was the one to take care of Solo and he kept him in his room. Tommy was still taking care of the rest of us, even though he himself was starting to show the first symptoms of the illness.

I felt bad, I couldn't do anything for Solo, but I knew that Dash would help him. The bad thing was that Dash was tired as well. But in that moment I wanted nothing more than to know how was Solo. And I knew, that if Solo would tell the truth to someone, that someone was Dash.

- Bastards! But they will see... someday they will pay for this!! – I listened the voice of Dash from outside the room.

Even as tired as I was, I smiled. Dash was very loud, he talked like though a microphone. This would be relatively easy.

Though the door I faintly heard the weak laugh of Solo.

- You should be resting, cockroach. – mumbled tiredly our leader.

Dash snorted.

- What the hell are you talking about, oh great boss? – questioned Dash with annoyance – I'm not going to sleep with you in that state!

- I wasn't talking to you – Solo said with mirth – If you want to see me it's better if you come in, Cat.

Blushing at being spotted I stepped in the room.

- Sorry – I apologized – But I wanted to know if...

Solo laughed at my nervousness. Dash sighed heavily and come to help me and sit down on the couch.

- You're weird Cat – mumbled Dash, more to himself than to me. I blinked, not understanding at all.

- I wanted to know how you were – I panted with difficulty. I was also sick after all.

- I'm going to die – was all that said Solo.

My eyes were wide open. Dash, who had only left me on the couch, turned around with a light of hate in his eyes. Hate for who, in that moment I didn't' knew.

- Don't say that Solo!! – he yelled with fury.

- It's the truth – he talked with absolute calm. – And you must start thinking in a new leader.

No.

- Dart would be the obvious decision, being the oldest and strongest of all, but he's also sick and you should wait until he recovers.

No. No.

- Dash, you are going to be the second in command.

No! No! No!

- But I also want you to help him more than what you used. He is clumsy but is a nice guy, he will be a good leader.

No! No! No! No! No! No! NO!

- NO!!

Solo blinked. That wasn't me... it was...

- What? – asked Solo slowly.

The hands of Dash were formed into fists and without letting Solo's authoritative voice intimidate him, he talked.

- I said no. – Dash said firmly – I won't accept another boss that isn't you.

Solo smiled, mockingly.

- You're very little to be the leader – he joked, but he knew what Dash was talking about.

It's a shame that in that moment Dash was very upset to see behind his words.

Knocking the wall with all his strength, Dash glared him with eyes full of seriousness. Eyes full of decision. I think I shivered. I saw how Solo lifted a brow.

- You're not going to die – proclaimed Dash with dead certainty.

This surprised me. I'm sure it surprised Solo. But soon he hided his distress and smiled resignedly.

- Yes, I AM going to die – he said with matching conviction. – And we both know it – sighing he smiled tiredly – It's a shame... I would have liked being more time at your side and gotten to know you a little more.

It was... a gift. Dash surely understood that. In that moment I didn't, I only was hurt that Solo was going to miss Dash and not me. But now it's clear to me.

In less than it takes to blink, Dash was gone.

He was gone... to get the cure.

- - - - -

My chest burned. My throat was blazing. And I was sure that any moment now my brain was going to explode.

Those were the effects of the medicine.

I should be happy. But... how could someone brighten up when you feel like dying? How brighten up when the most precious person to you was dying just a few steps from you? I certainly couldn't.

He didn't accept the cure until everyone else had it first, now he laid on the couch, Dash holding his hand with care. All saw the scene with distress, the medicine didn't seem to take effect on him when M.D., the first in take it, was walking right now and without pain.

I was the closest to both, and I didn't knew if all could hear the conversation between them, but I could. It was... sad.

Solo was explaining things, advices more than anything. When you steal from a soldier, have a good hiding place. Never put yourself on a place where you don't have alt least three ways out. How to talk to a mister in the street of Kreik so that sold you cheaper than to the others.

For his part, Dash looked like he was going to cry any minute. Apparently Solo wasn't aware before, because when he stopped talking, he lifted the hand that wasn't being held by Dash and cleaned a tear that still was in his eye. He looked amazed.

Fixing Dash with a firm stare, Solo shook his head.

- Don't cry. – whispered our leader – Boys don't cry.

Dash made a weird sound, like he was choking. He was trying not to sob. Cleaning rudely his face with his hand, Dash nodded.

- Boys don't cry – he repeated, smiling bitterly.

They talked some more, Solo weakly, talking with difficulty. And then... he seemed to feel it, because he seized Dash's hand.

- From... from th..the moment I knew you... I haven't being... Solo... – he panted.

- No – said Dash, still holding the hand, even if it hurt him. Lifting it to his chest he smiled – And you'll never be again.

Solo smiled. I was a soft smile, gentle and full of happiness, a smile that I had never seen on his face...

A genuine smile.

Then, the most important person in my life until then closed his eyes to never again open them.

- From now on we'll be one... we'll be Duo

- - - - -

Solo died an afternoon of October 23 of the year 186 After Colony. L2-V08744 never seemed so cold and lonely until then.

Maybe Solo died that cold afternoon. But in the same instant that his soul left his body, our new leader was born.

Duo was born.

- - - - -

With only three months under Duo's command I noted that Duo was exactly like Solo. Or at least he wasn't so selfish like Dash was.

Dash had being a lot like Solo, but he was still individualistic. He was still thinking only in himself and his own benefit and he wouldn't have made a good leader because he only thought of himself.

For his part, Duo worried about others. He was a more intrepid leader than Solo, who first thought of the security of his partners, but even then Duo did worry for us.

I was loyal and devout to Duo because, even if it sounds silly, I believe that Solo's soul was in him.

The others obeyed him most than anything because of awe. Duo had refused to take the medicine. That was dangerous, the virus was still active and he was exposed to it all the time that it was on L2. And even then he had never fall sick.

Seeing all the things now... I think that Duo wanted to die. Not on a consciousness level... but in his heart. He couldn't save Solo, the only person important to him (it didn't matter how well he and us lived together; it was obvious that the only one he really liked was Solo, at least at the time).

We were eating on the living room. Outside that encounter with the priest and Duo, all had being fine.

- That was fine, wasn't it Duo? – I told him happily. Besides me, Tommy was eating bread.

- Yeah – nodded Duo – And tomorrow we will be stealing the store of the military.

- What?! – I yelled, surprised – That's very... – I mumbled, don't knowing what to say to make him desist. Duo could be terribly stubborn when something was in his head. Especially if it had something to do with the Alliance.

- If they catch us we're dead! – shouted Tommy, terrified with the idea.

- Hmph! Anyway it's only luck we're still alive – told us Duo, munching an apple. – If we're going to die, at least we'll die annoying the Alliance!

I would like to say we were fine... I would like to say it was easy, that we go in and go out... but it was the Alliance we were talking about. It didn't matter if Duo was capable of infiltrate in the labs that time and steal the vaccine (a thing nobody knows just how he did) and the truth was that even if they didn't capture us, they followed us or knew who we were and where lived.

Anyway, the next day our house was surrounded with a dozen of soldiers on civil clothes and they took us outside, surround us, don't letting go. We were on the ground, forming a circle, the back to each other, looking for ourselves. We were on the ground; we were surrounded so it was natural: we were scared shitless.

All of us were really scared, I was only a little surprised and Duo was trying to act like we were innocents. With calm.

Of course, when the machines come to throw down our house Duo was upset and had a momentary and understandable panic.

- Stop! – he yelled with fury – What did we do to you?! – he asked and I almost choked. So fools he thinks they are?

- Don't came telling tales, kid! – barked a soldier – I still can't believe you were so stupid to go at the store of the Alliance!

M.D. was hiding behind Duo; Tommy clawed until he was on Duo's lap. Our leader bit his lip, trying to stop yelling, but failing.

- But... But it's our home! – he exploded once again, thanks to the gods no so aggressively. – If you destroy it... where the heck are we going to go?! – he demanded.

Even if he asked... none of us expected an answer, not even him. But we had one.

- Maxwell Church had accept you – we were informed – Be grateful!

Duo stayed still, completely speechless for a full second until finally he mumbled:

- A... Church?

- - - - -

Duo looked at me with horror.

- What in the nine hells did to you those bastards?!

I blushed, ashamed.

- They... they bathed me... and changed me... and they cut my hair.

Even if it seemed impossible, his expression was even more horrified. It was like, not being enough seeing me with short hair, hearing it said from my own mouth was like seeing it happen again. For a moment I thought he was having a heart attack.

- Monsters! – he suddenly yelled, coming out of the shock – Sons of a bitch! This is just too much!

- What do we do, Duo? – asked Tommy with wide innocent eyes.

Duo put a hand on his chin, thinking deeply on our next move.

I was suppressing a sigh. In my opinion the people taking care of us were not bad. Of course that I didn't really knew them, maybe they were not really so nice like I thought. Though... I liked Sister Helen.

- Well... first I'm going to see how they are – mumbled Duo, having all our attention – If I see that they are bad persons... we go tonight.

We all nodded. Duo's words were law.

The door of the room opened, showing the small body of Sister Helen.

- Please, the next.

Duo lifted his chin, held tall his chest and walked in with decision. Some more minutes and we started hearing Duo's yells though the door. This time I did sigh.

Almost immediately, Father Maxwell showed up on the hall (where we were all waiting for Duo) and saw us with curiosity.

- What are you doing? – he asked.

- Waiting for Duo – answered Ren, more concentrate on hearing (or trying to hear) what was going on in the other side of the door than in the priest.

The Father blinked and the smiled softly, looking like he suddenly understood something very lovely. I blinked, seeing how the priest walked into the room.

Some minutes passed and then Duo walked out, meditating something. They had bathed him and now he had the same clothes than me, but his hair was the same length, though now he had it in a braid.

- How was it? – asked M.D. anxiously.

Duo seemed to come out of the trance and frowned.

- Fine – he said, showing his braid – I kept my hair.

- What do you think of them? – I asked, a little frighten of going back to the streets, leaving this nice and cozy place.

Duo shook his head and I almost cried.

- Listen – he said imperiously – I still don't finish judging them... but behave, at least for now.

We all nodded.

I was happy. If Duo looked so thoughtful, then it was sure he liked these persons.

- - - - -

- Cat...

- Mm? – I grunted

It was midnight and the day had being agitated with the Sister Helen and Father Maxwell explaining us so many things related to the Church. I was sleepy, what wanted Duo at this time?

- What do you think of this place?

I sighed, throwing aside the sheets and sitting on the bed I turned to see him. Our beds were together and I could see how he had his eyes on the ceiling, looking grave.

- I think is fine – I said him, shrugging a little – I like Sister Helen – I confessed after a moment.

Duo thought the same.

- It's nice – he said, making me smile – Though a little naïve – he laughed softly. He turned to me, still smiling. – What do you thing of the priest?

I had to think more about that one.

- Mmm, he's also nice – I said slowly – Though less naïve than the Sister.

Duo nodded, letting me know that he thought the same.

- I think that the Father knows more than Sister Helen, he knows what it's happening with the War... with the Alliance.

- Then what do we do? – I asked – They have us here to be adopted Duo... how do we behave with our "parents"?

It was a delicate question. Even though we were young in age, we're not naïve. We knew that adoptive parents were generally a bad idea. A very, very bad idea. Almost always they only adopted child's to have a free slave or to make him work. In the streets, when Solo was still alive, there was a man named "Zen" that collected orphans and put them to work for him. He tried to have some of us sometimes, but Solo told us just how the things with Zen were. The man made his child's work, steal or worst and he kept all the money. The child's only had the necessary to live. Many died working with him only a month.

So, my question to Duo was like: We behave like angels or we made them know hell and see us like de devils we really are?

Duo sighed heavily.

- I don't think this people let bad persons adopt – he said with calm – But I don't know if the kids want to be adopted... I am going to be a devil. – he smiled with mischief. Yep, Duo had always being a devil. – No one besides Solo is going to be my family. – for the way he said it I think he was not aware that he say it aloud. – If you want, you behave and stay with your "parents". I will stay on the Church for some more time.

- You seem to have all under control – I mumbled – Why did you asked me?

- Because I couldn't sleep! – he smiled at me.

- Fool! – I yelled, throwing him a pillow.

He only laughed. When his giggles had subsided he smiled softly.

- You're so serious Cat and don't talk too much... but you are observant and you have a good mind. Your thoughts are very important... so is your friendship.

- It... it's better if you sleep Duo – I told him, completely flushed.

- Ha, ha, ha! – he taunted – And you have always being so shy!

I don't know what remained more time: his laughs or my blush.

- - - - -

The life on the Church was hard, but no harder than on the streets. And it was fun, on some level. Besides Sister Helen and Father Maxwell were always very patient with all of us.

Sister Helen sighed.

- Should I go again? – I asked, half smiling.

She nodded, resignedly. I laughed under my breath.

The Church (well, the Father) forced us to go to the ceremonies (mass) that held the chapel. There was one at 7 on the morning, another one at noon and the last ant 7 on the night. Duo, however, only was on the last two ceremonies, though we have to always annoy him to go. However, he never was there on the first mass because, quoting what he said to Sister Helen "Being up at that ungodly hours is a sin". We had to admit Duo was unique.

Naturally, Duo was only trying the patient of these people... being orphan of the street he was used to being up very early and to sleep very late, it cost him noting at all being up for the fist mass. We sleep little to tell the truth and he, being the leader of the gang, was awake even more time. Duo was only testing the Father and Sister, it was part of his personality. He had done the same with Solo: he had annoyed him until he was certain that Solo was trustworthy and that never (not matter how annoyed he was) will hurt him. Duo was trying to see if this persons were also trustworthy.

I opened the door.

- Duo...

- Mmm... – growled him, enveloped on the sheets and not even trying to come out.

- Mass is about to start.

- I'm sleepy – was all he said, showing only his head – Tell them that I don't wanna go.

- Duo... – I started with a grave tone of voice.

Duo snorted, finally coming out of the bed.

- You're a bore Cat – was what he said, starting changing.

- That's what I live for – I smirked – And I hope you really go, I don't want to come again.

- Hmph!

Without another word, I left.

I wondered just how much we could enjoy our lives there. Because... all good has its end.

- - - - -

- What? – I finally asked, a little irked.

We had being doing our homework on the playground, under a tree. I had finished, but him had a little difficulty on math's and was taking more time. But after I had started reading a book Duo had stared at me with curiosity. It had being 15 minutes and I was starting to be irritating.

Duo didn't even blink and kept staring me, puzzled

- What Duo? Why do you keep staring me? – I asked again.

- Why do you still have that band? – he asked, pointing the black band on my head – You don't have long hair anymore.

I think I blushed, I'm not sure.

- Eh... Ejem! – I coughed a little to hide my embarrassment – Solo gave me this band – I mumbled, very troubled

This time he did blink, but only to start smiling with amusement

- You're very shy Cat – he smirked. But, analyzing my answer he stared at me, puzzled – When did he give it to you?

- When I came to the gang – I started explaining – My hair was bothersome, it got in the way every minute and it didn't let me steal in peace. I lost some preys. Solo said that I should put it out of the way and gave me this band. I haven't removed it since then.

Duo's gaze was melancholic.

- Yep, that was our Solo – he said, standing up – You're lucky – he smiled, walking away at the same time – you have something from him – after that he walked inside the Church.

- Yeah... – I whispered softly – but you have his soul, something much more precious... or have you forgotten it Duo?

- - - - -

Silence. The gang was never in silence.

Of course that the gang was no more.

- Duo, I... – I started to talk with difficulty. Bur he interrupted me.

- Forget it Cat – he shook his head – If you want this, if you really want a family and can have it, then go ahead.

Frankly I didn't know what to do. I felt very ashamed: I wanted to be strong like him; I wanted to live with only his friendship and without the illusion of parents... but... but I couldn't.

Ren and Tommy had been the first to be adopted. Ren had gone happy, Tommy crying. When M.D. had say goodbye he done it with a big hug and he almost cried when he said goodbye to Dart. On other hand, when Dart was adopted after M.D., he looked a little melancholic for leaving us here, but he wished to go anyway... just like I felt at that moment. But I didn't felt melancholic, I felt like a traitor.

Noting my distress, Duo stopped moving and held my shoulders. Softly smiling he shook his head slowly.

- Don't worry about me Cat... I'll be fine.

- But Duo... – I refuted weakly – You'll be all alone! All have gone and it was only you an me. If I also behave I'll...

- Cat, did you really thought I also didn't wanted a family? – he interrupted me.

Duo had being adopted several times. All that times he had be returned. In no home had he stayed more than a week.

- But you always behaved so bad... – I started talking, completely bewildered.

He laughed with mirth.

- Cat! I'm surprised, you, the smartest and more sensitive of all the gang – he said, very amused.

It's no necessary to say I didn't understand a thing. Once his laughs had subsided, he talked seriously.

- Cat, I am... or maybe I should say I was the leader of the gang. That's why I had a responsibility with all of you. – he explained – If you stayed here, if any of you stayed here, then so I was to stay, to protect you, in some way. That's why I always come back. I wanted to come back. – he smiled – But all of you are now very far away, so it doesn't worry me anymore, I have no responsibility, only my life ahead of me.

- Then are you going to let someone adopt you? – I asked with curiosity.

- No – he said gravely, and it surprised me. Extremely amused at my expression, he explained – I had said that I wanted a family. I don't want anymore. I have it now, I found it the same day we lay foot here.

- Do you mean..?

He nodded.

- Father Maxwell and Sister Helen – he confirmed my suspicions.

On impulse (something rare in me) I hugged him with force. I think that he was shocked for seconds, because he was rigid, but he quickly responded the hug.

- I wish you happiness, Duo – I whispered to his ear.

- You too Cat, you too.

That day I left. Little did I knew that only a few months after, the Church and all the people there would die on the hands of the Alliance.

- - - - -

- Richard Wright, I travel with my wife and kid.

- Names, please?

- Jeanne and Ronald Wright

I was slightly bored. The trip was going to be long and my parents surely were going to be sleep all the way. And the Earth had lost his charm after seeing it from the ship so many times. The space was boring and the only thing that entertained me were the programs that they put on the ship. And they weren't very good...

- The space ship will launch on 20 minutes, please wait until they call you.

My father nodded, thanking the lady. Taking my mother he started walking to a chair. I followed slowly.

I was going to be bored; I decided that it was a better idea to have a walk or something.

- Dad – I called him.

After so much time living with him and his wife, finally I was comfortable enough to calling him that way and she "Mother", contrary to the "Mr. and Mrs. Wright".

- Yes son?

- The ship is launching later – I said calmly – Can I go to take a walk before that? We'll be there hours. – I requested politely.

- Yes, but come here on time Ronald.

I was going to respond with a "Of course" when I heard the name. His name...

- Eh! Duo! We'll launch in a little while, so don't go messing around like the other day!

- Yeah, yeah, I know. Geez. – was the unconcerned answer. – You don't have to be so loud, you old geezer.

I immediately turned, completely ignoring my father and trying to find the source of the voices.

- Hmph! – I heard a snort and finally found it. It was an old man, with a hawaiian shirt and sun glasses. – The brats these days. Don't show respect at all.

I followed the man stare and I saw him: Duo was all in black, he had a cap and his usual smirk. He hadn't changed at all...

Rolling his eyes, Duo also snorted.

- Whatever you say Howard, whatever you say – with that said he turned around and started walking.

Coming out of my shock, I started running to him.

- Duo! – I yelled once I was on him, hugging him from behind.

- Agh! – he cried, almost falling.

Luckily he maintained his foot. I had been very enthusiastic on that hug...

- What the hell is your probl-- - his eyes had gone wide the moment they saw me, a light of awareness on them.- --em?! What the heck? Cat?!

I nodded, smiling happily

- Cat! Hey! How have you being? – he asked with joy.

Finally regaining my sense and noting that yeah, IT was Him, and yeah, he was STILL alive, I didn't knew what to say.

- Duo I'm sorry about... how much time have you...? How did you...? – definitively didn't knew what to say.

But he only laughed, in that joyful way he has

- Easy, easy buddy – he said lightly – Don't be so distressed. Come, sit down so we can talk more calmly.

Once we sit down I could give better questions.

- I heard about the Church – I said sadly – I'm very sorry Duo.

He nodded, thanking me.

- How did it happen? The media said it was something the rebel's did and that the Alliance was trying to stop them but they were to late... but the media always talks trash.

He smirked.

- Good to see the good life hasn't make you forget the truth, Cat – making a pause he turned to me – What's your name now?

Ashamed, I stared the floor.

- Ronald Wright – I told him.

- Nice name – he said – And yes, it were not the rebel's the ones that destroyed the Church, it was the very Alliance, like always. There were a rebel's inside, but it were very few and it were not a threat, not really. The Alliance was the one to destroy the Church, killing them all.

- How did you survive – I asked, a little unsure.

He smirked again, but it was a mocking smirk. A smirk full of hate.

And the worst part was that it was hate at himself.

- I wasn't there. The rebel's say that if they had a Mobile Suit they would go away. I volunteered to steal one, so I was gone after that, gone to steal one of the Alliance.

I gasped.

- Duo! It's a miracle they didn't...!

- ...kill me? – he finished, snorting – They did try, but were slow. However when I arrived at the Church I found it in ruins... Sister Helen died on my arms. – he said with pain.

- She was a good woman. – I mumbled. I had always liked her.

- She was. – he sighed. – And now she isn't. The Alliance killed her. Anyone foolish enough to be near Shinigami dies 2. – he turned to me with grave eyes – You're lucky you never neared so much.

I didn't understand, but I shrugged it aside. We had little time.

- What have you done since then? – I asked, this time intrigued.

- I recollect trash from the space. – he answers, happy to change the subject.

- Uh?

He smiled at my puzzlement

- I'm with the Sweepers. They're nice guys... though the work is hard. And they also hate the Alliance. – he explained – Though I work with them, most of the time I help Dr. G with some important project he has. – he shrugged – All in all, I have done well.

Sweepers? Dr. G? And of what project is he talking about?! Unfortunately I didn't have much time to talk with him, so I decide ignore all that.

We chatted some more, about my life, about his life, about the radical changes in this years... it was nice to talk with him.

But... something was missing. There was something Duo had missed. He had the same character: sarcastic, mocking and apparently carefree... but he had missed something. And that was...

Duo have never been a pure angel but before he had some aura of innocence, also he had lost some vitality. Now... now his eyes seemed much more mature than what they used to be, and they looked dead. The dead of Father Maxwell and Sister Helen must have affected him very much...

- Duo! – called the man I had see him with. – It's time to go, brat – he said lively.

- I'm there in a minute, geezer! – he yelled – I was glad to see you again, I hope you have a nice life little one.

I smiled slightly.

- I'm also thirteen, Duo – I said, amused.

He smiled with mischief.

- But I'm still taller than you! – he laughed, running towards Howard. Stopping a moment he turned to see me from above his shoulder. Duo smiled. – Duo Maxwell, dismissed! – he yelled before being yanked inside the room.

I smiled and waved, not once wondering about his last name...

- - - - -

Two years after my meeting with Duo, Operation Meteor started... two years after that I'd lost everything a second time around. The Alliance and Oz were the same thing and even then thousands of people trusted Oz. Humans are really stupid.

From the darkness of the streets I laughed bitterly.

- - - - -

- Who're you? – I murmured with a hoarse voice.

The person in front of me smiled.

- Who do you think?

I mused for a seconds. It was... death...?

- Yeah. I'm Shinigami

I smiled stupidly. I had said it aloud.....

I was about to die. Fifteen years was more than what I expected to live when I was a child... without knowing why I started to remember my past... my first family... the only family I could remember and all their traits...

Sometimes Dash, only sometimes.... it feels good to smile without being crying in the inside....

The tired voice of Solo... only heard on the leaders that hide their pain from everyone.

But it hurts, Solo! It hurts!! I SEE Death!! I feel it!!! SHE TOOK MY PARENTS AND NOW COMES FOR ME!!!!

The pain of Tommy... the kid that was victim of his own memories, of the memories of his parents, the memory of a happy life.

Why?! Why do they keep hurting us?! Why the pain that they gave us isn't enough to them?!

The fury of M.D. ... present in all who have life the bitterness and loss... and frustrations.

I have always being waiting... I wait the end of the world...

The sad resignation of Dart... present with the ones that have lived enough to know that there is only pain in this world...

When I was alone, I felt dead. Now that I've you all... I feel a little less dead.

The innocence of Ren...

There isn't a God in this world! If there was then he wouldn't create more orphans like us... or if there is one then humans don't interest him enough to show us attention. If you want to survive then don't wait for help from anyone, only from yourself!

The resentment of Dash...

No one can understand me! I'm lost and alone and I don't have any idea of what the hell I'm doing...

Solo... Duo... Solo... Duo.... Duo...

- Duo! – I shouted, coming out from my memories.

He smiled.

- Are you afraid? Afraid of Shinigami?

I only shook my head slowly.

He tilted his head slightly, looking at me with curiosity.

- Then what are you afraid of, Ronald Wright? If you're not afraid of death, what do you fear? A fate worst than death?

I shook my head again.

- No – I murmured softly – Only death. It's that not enough?

He looked taken aback.

- What? – he said, puzzled – But you said that you didn't fear me...

- You... are not death... Duo – I retorted before blacking out.

- - - - -

My next memory was that of a hospital room. My count had been paid and the nurses told me that they didn't knew who had took me in. Funnily, the money come from one account from Oz... a thing I thought impossible, because I didn't knew someone from Oz.

If my encounter with Duo had been a dream or illusion, I never knew...

- - - - -

- I help some lady on a flower shop. – was all I said.

- Really? – says Duo, lifting a brow. – Nothing bad, considering you're an ex-cockroach – he smiled softly.

I nodded and returned the smile. We stayed in silence a while more.

L2 was a poor colony, but after the war, it looked like it was having a chance to reborn. L2 was the place where was the grave of Solo, the grave we were standing.

Don't be silly, of course it wasn't a real grave, it didn't have the 'body' of Solo, all because his body had been took from us for the Alliance after dying. His body, along hundred of corpses that had been hit by the plague have been took to some special place, some place where they burned them, maybe only throw them or maybe used them to experiment. Who knows?

No, the grave in front of us was empty, the epitaph only said: "Solo: Your body died, your spirit lives still"

There were no dates, nor of birth or of dead, it wasn't a big deal. The grave was only to remember that there was someone in this world that care about us, someone that didn't care if we could do something for him, but more like what could he do for us.

- I know what you mean. – told me softly Duo, awakening me from my thoughts and noting that I said it aloud. – Solo was the first person that took care of me without wanting something in return, he never asked for something and he never hurt me. – he said with nostalgia – He teach me to smile when a was feeling down. He teach me to look the life, in a way, like a game. Like something that one doesn't have to take very seriously. You understand, right?

I nodded, smiling.

- It didn't matter if we hadn't have a place to sleep or if we didn't have food that day, but what we did have was Solo. We had a home. He was our world. – I stared at him – At least to us. To you he was more like a big brother. – he looked happy with the comparison – You're a lot like him, Duo. – I told him sincerely.

He smiled with irony.

- Maybe he was the one fated to be Shinigami... but because his soul was in my body I took his place.

I looked at him, bewildered.

- What do you mean Duo? – I finally asked – Some years ago you said something like that – I said, remembering what he said on the spaceport.

He only shook his head.

- Nothing, nothing... haven't you heard that we old ones are always saying incoherent things? – he comments, joking.

I smiled a little.

- Don't forget – I murmured softly – that I am of your same age, Duo.

He smiled with mischief, following the game.

- Even so, I'm still taller than you – he said, pointing out our STILL different sizes.

We both laughed.

- I have to go - he

I nodded.

- Until other time, Cat! – he said goodbye once he was very far.

- Farewell, Dash – I murmured to myself.

- - - - -

This party is being held, thousand of people have read it, some other hundred have reviewed it, and after all that this man is saying this foolish things. There really is no one that can understand my memories? This book... I didn't wrote it so the people feel pity nor so I could be admired...

- Is horrible! Is clearly a representation of the complete misery of human's beings! – yelled the man with earnestness.

I shake my head, a sad smile shaping my lips.

- No – I whisper to myself with sadness – It isn't.

- Then what is it, Mr. Writer. – I hear a voice behind me.

I turn around and see him. I smile.

- That's not the complete misery of us human's... – I say to him, still smiling – What is it, Duo? It's only a fragment... of that misery...

I have seen many horribly things on the past war, things that I want to forget, but that I know I'll never while I'm alive. Things that woke me up at the age of seven and things only the kind and soft voice of Father Maxwell could disperse. There were times that I thought I had seen it all, that there was no pain on the world that could scare me any more.

That's selfishness.

There are pains we all suffer, there are pains only some feel. In a war you should adjust to all the things you see day after day, because if you don't, you can go crazy. But, if you believe that no one else beside you suffers... if you believe that no one understands you, if you believe that you know it all and that nothing will affect you... all that's a mistake.

There were... five persons, five young men that didn't believe that. Not only didn't believe that lies, but they refused to adjust to those pains, to that suffering. They fought to attain freedom; they fought for the very humanity... they fought... and they were victorious. We should follow they're example, if you see something wrong, don't only ignore it! Do something about it and face your fears....

Cordially, Ronald Wright.

The End

Notes:

Ejem, I know that I have some grammatical mistakes, but my first language is not English. Sorry for the inconvenience.

I was seeing again the Episode Zero of Duo and... it occurred to me write this. Whatever, this is something that I did only to vent stress from other fic of mine. Even then, this is my second fic of GW and my first one in English. Yay!!

The ending was abrupt... but if I didn't end it there I could go on forever (it's the one-shot more large that I have wrote so far). And yes, I am with the idea that Ronald and Duo continued their friendship after the war.

In my original language Ronald was very popular, and he makes an appearance in one of my fics , the Arc "My youth" (right mow I only have "The Difference Between You and Me") but that is a shonen-ai story, and for that is under the nick of Oushidoshi.

For suggestions, complains (it IS my first fic in English after all) and all the other things, you can send me a mail or a review.

1 Yeah, I know that I put this same number both times. Probably this only works in my language, but to explain: In this context "Solo" means "alone", thus what Cat tells.

2 Shinigami is the God f Death (as you well know). Here when Duo speaks of Shinigami, he refers to himself. When CN transmitted GW I noted that Duo always refers to Shinigami in third person (even if is himself), like when he said "Shinigami has come from Hell" and similar cases.