Chapter 5

Showered and dressed now that he had finally taken the potion's to fix his headache. Severus sat down in the chair at his desk and pulled out a piece of fresh parchment. Staring at it hoping it would magically place all his feelings and what he needed to say on the paper for him. Shaking his head he dipped the quill into the black ink and began to write. It took him well over 2 hours to place what he wanted to say into the letter he composed for his husband. Twelve re writes later to make sure it made sense checking it over to make sure he did not forget anything. Finally the ink on the finished letter was dry, he rolled it up and sealed it with wax and ring so Harry would know it was truly from him. The Snape logo clearly imprinted into the green wax seal. Standing up he walked over to the cabinet that held the liquor about to pour a glass he stopped. Snorting to himself as he said out loud. "this is what got you into this trouble in the first place you idiot. You can't control your emotions well enough without alcohol added on top of them." He took out his wand and banished all the alcohol from the house. Never wanting to take a drink again, hoping that if it was not available to him he would have to search out his feelings soberly. It was a start, he knew there was much more to fix within himself along with fixing what had happened to his family. Loving Harry was the hardest thing to do and he would be damned if he would not try to fix what he screwed up. Oh yes he loved his husband and children more than he ever thought possible. Even one day with out them in his life was going to be extremely difficult for him to bare. How long it took to get his love back was not his main concern. The main concern was that he indeed did get his lover back and make sure he knew exactly how he felt about him. Shower him with all the love that was hidden and stored deep within his heart. No matter how long it would take he was determined to show Harry that he was wrong and that he loved him with all of his heart. Picking up the letter he walked out the door and apparated to the front door of Hermione's house. His hand trembled slightly as he knocked on the door.

Feeling well rested and comfortable Harry woke to silence. Remembering the past day's events he jolted himself back to reality. Wondering why he could not hear his children or was not woke by their noises he got up and headed over to the door that separated the rooms. Looking in he found the room empty and began to panic. Running down the stairs only to stop dead in his tracks at the livingroom door. Calming his racing heart and rapid breathing he looked on to find the children happily playing with Julian on the floor. Blocks and toys scattered everywhere to the delight of all in the room. Julian was laughing at the children making Harry smile also. Taking a deep breath he walked into the room announcing himself with a slight clearing of his throat.

"Daddy!" the three year old yelled as he ran to his father and hugged his legs.

"I see you are making a mess of Julian's room, shouldn't you help clean it up?"

"Oh it wasn't their fault it was mine. I had some of the staff go and buy some toys for us. I didn't tell them what to buy just that I wanted lots of toys and games."

"It seems as if you bought the store out Julian, that was not necessary."

"Well I couldn't help it, I never thought it was possible to have children living here. I love children even though I knew I would never be able to have any of my own."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be come sit I will tell the cook that he can serve dinner now that you are up."
"Thank you Julian." Harry said as he sat down.

Julian just smiled using the back of his hand ran is softly down the young wizard's cheek. He looked into those green eyes and said. "I told you I cared about you. Having your children here makes me feel even more for you than I thought possible."

"I.."

"No don't say anything. I know you are not my family but I can dream about it as long as you are here with me."

Harry could only nod before Julian smiled and added. "Come now we have a room to destroy. Jonathan my boy lets get those toys over there and show your Daddy what they do." He held out his hand to the little boy who smiled and took it pulling Julian over to the pile of toys that still had not been opened yet. Laughing as he plopped himself down on the floor beside Jonathan. Arianna was happily sitting on the floor with what looked like thousands of stuffed animals and dolls giggling to herself, content to be left alone. She looked up and smiled at her Daddy and quickly went back to her talk with her new friends. Harry got up and walked over to where Jonathan and Julian were sitting taking up a spot beside his son.

"Look Daddy the pictures don't move." Jonathan said holding up a book to his Daddy.

"That is because they are muggle story books they are not suppose to move."
"Fix them Daddy, make them move for me." He asked

"Move?" Julian asked raising his eyebrows.

"Yes in wizards books the pictures move helping to tell the story also wizards photo's and portraits move some talk." He said before turning back to his son. "Jonathan we shouldn't do magic around muggles so please don't do it here. Try not to do it around the other people here especially ok."
"Ok Daddy but why?"

"It is to difficult to explain to you Jonathan but I will some day." Seeing the sad face he sighed and said. "Oh all right but only around Julian no one else ok?"
"Yes Daddy!" he little boy grinned as he handed the book over to his Daddy.

Harry took out his wand from his shirt sleeve where he always kept it in an invisible holder tied to his arm. He looked around the room and then up to Julian to see if it would be all right. He received a smile of encouragement from the man as he waited to see what would happen. Waving it at the book he chanted a few words and tapped the book. Watching as the pictures began to move about the page. Julian gasped and looked at the book with the same intensity as the three year old was. Harry laughed and sat back to watch as Jonathan gave his version of what the story was to Julian. Most of it was correct which only added to Julian's awe at the three year olds ability to understand so early in life.

"Unbelievable, your children are very smart for being so young. Is it from being magical?"
"No I don't think so. I'm sure having moving pictures does help them learn more quickly though. There are so many things that are available to them as wizards. I was raised like you a muggle so I didn't have any idea about magic until I was eleven."

"You are amazing Harry and so are your children. I could very easily be the happiest man in the world."
"Thank you Julian, but I'm not even sure what you are expecting from me and I don't know what I can give you."

"I only want what you can give, if we only stay friends I will understand. Although you know my feeling for you go beyond that already."
"I'm sorry." Harry said as he looked down at his hands.
Julian placed his fingers under the wizards chin and lifted it up gently to see into his eyes. "No, don't be I am glad you came to me. I just want to see you smile, if I can make you smile that is all I need."

Harry smiled slightly and nodded.

The butler came in and told them dinner was served, it was quite a site to see. They had asked Jonathan what he and his sister would like to eat. On the table was an assortment of everything Jonathan and Arianna liked. Along with it was a few that Jonathan proudly said his Daddy liked to eat. Shaking his head and raising an eyebrow at Julian who just blushed.

"See Daddy I helped make supper just like you."
"Yes you did my little slytherin, but where are the carrots and peas and broccoli?"
Jonathan shivered and made a face before looking up to see the not so happy face of his Daddy. He bowed his head and said, "I don't like those things." He brightened at the thought, "Maybe Julian doesn't like them either, we wouldn't want to make him eat those nasty things. It wouldn't be very nice of me to make him eat stuff he didn't like. Right Daddy?" He smiled innocently.

"Yes I can see your point my little snake, very well I guess we should eat this so Julian won't have to eat it all or throw it away."

"Yes we should help him then." Jonathan said as he crawled up into his chair and sat on his knees. He picked up his napkin and opened it to lay across he lap. With folded hands he waited until everyone else was seated before looking up and smiling at Julian.

Harry watched as Julian could barely hold back his laughter his eyes were watering as he held his hand clamped over his mouth. Julian looked up to Harry and just shook his head before he turned around to hide his mirth shoulders shaking uncontrollably and a few gasps escaped around his hand. Once he got some composure he turned back around and walked over to Harry and held out his chair. The wizard gave Julian a fake frown and shook his head and sat down. Julian leaned in and whispered in his ear.

"Oh Harry your son is so special, I'm sorry I just couldn't hold back." He buried his face into Harry's neck to hide more laughter. "He is an angel."

"You won't think that way in a few days, trust me he is very devious and if he doesn't get his way look out." Harry smiled up at his new friend.

"I look forward to it." Julian said kissing the top of Harry's head before walking back over to sit in his own chair. Stopping once to ruffle the hair on Jonathan's head.

The meal when off without the children saying a word. To happy to be getting to eat all of their favorite foods. Jonathan was almost asleep in his meal from all the fun he'd been having with Julian. Harry picked him up while Julian did the same to Arianna. Changed and ready for bed Harry tucked in his two beautiful children and kissed them both good night. He stood watch over them for around 20 minutes until he felt arms wrap around him pulling him out of the room.

"You are a wonderful father and you have wonderful children."

"They are very special to me. I never knew that I could have children when I was younger. It wasn't something that happens to muggles. I just assumed I would never have a family because I was gay. I am so lucky to have them in my life."
"Yes you are. I only wish I could have been born a wizard too. I can't believe how accepting your kind is of homosexuality."
"They believe in love it does not matter about age or sex. The bad wizard I told you about was trying to get rid of all non magical people we had to destroy him or he would have destroyed the world. I would never have been able to have a child if he was to rule the world."

"Well for your sake and I guess mine I'm glad he is gone. Now I think you should rest some more you still look tired." Julian said as he pulled Harry to his bedroom door. Stopping he turned the wizard around and just looked into his eyes. Holding back the feelings he wanted to show this lovely man, Julian pulled him close and hugged him rubbing his hands up and down Harry's back. Sighing he pulled back and before letting go he kissed the magical man lightly on those lips of sweet honey.

"Good night Harry I will see you in the morning." Smiling he turned and walked down the hall and out of site.

Such a nice man, Harry thought. If only Severus would have been like Julian. Shaking himself out of this fantasy world he'd allowed himself to dwell on. Harry headed off to shower and go to sleep.

"Just a minute I'll be right there." Hermione said from the couch where she had spilled her tea on herself when she heard the knock on the door. Not expecting company for at least a week, as all the Weasley's left to visit Charlie in Romania. Finally using her wand she cleaned up the mess and hurried over to the door pulling it open she gasped.

"Severus."

"May I come in?" He said in a defeated tone. "I need to talk to you."

"Sure, would you like some tea?"

"I, I don't know." He shook his head trying to figure out what she had just asked.

"Come in Severus you look a mess." Hermione pulled him inside and he followed her in a daze to where she sat him down at the kitchen table and began to make new tea.