"Are you sure your knuckles are gonna heal alright, Harry? You really didn't hafta slug that blonde idiot for me, y'know. Probably woulda done it myself...if I had been closer, I mean."

Tonks was sitting on the couch in the living room of her house, frowning at Harry, who was rubbing his knuckles slowly and pulling a face. It had been nearly a week since their trip into Diagon Alley had taken place, and Harry's knuckles were still aching from time to time. Andromeda had dismissed it as his body simply not being used to hitting someone.

"Much as I would have loved seeing you deck that git, Tonks," Harry began, smirking up at her, "I think you'll get plenty of chances once we get to Hogwarts."

Tonks pursed her lips, then beamed and nodded. "Good thinkin'! First chance I get, I'm waffling the blonde ponce with a toilet seat!"

"A toilet seat?" Harry repeated, raising an eyebrow.

Tonks shrugged. "Think about how funny it'd be!"

Harry tilted his head back so that it rested against the couch and his eyes glazed over for a moment. Slowly, a grin spread across his face. "You know, I think you're right. Go for it."

The two sat there for a moment before Harry let out a sigh.

"Wha's wrong?" Tonks asked.

"It's just..." Harry waved a hand around, searching for the right words. "...I want to do something about the Dursley's." He said after a moment. "I want to do something before leaving for Hogwarts, but I don't know what. I mean... they don't approve of imagination, and here I am - a wizard."

Harry paused and, as if something was just dawning on him, his eyes went wide. "...And my Aunt Petunia must have known all this time." He said, voice quiet.

"Did she? Whyzat?" Tonks asked, brow creasing.

"Well, my mum was a witch, wasn't she? My aunt certainly isn't. In fact, that's probably why they all hate me - I'm a reminder of my mum... who she probably hated for being 'different' than she was." Harry said, a faint growl in the back of his throat.

Tonks hmmed, then smiled. "Think I could talk mum into conjuring about a hundred toilet seats and send 'em flying towards your relatives?"

Harry snorted. "As much as I'd love seeing a toilet seat collide with Dudley's face, I doubt we could manage something like that. But..." Harry licked his lips. "But what if... what if we went back on the grounds that I wanted to get something... and just happened to have our wands with us? I mean, my aunt MUST have known my mum was a witch... so she knows about the Wizarding world. And if she knows about THAT..."

"Then she'll probably be scared out of her knickers if she saw a wand?" Tonks finished.

"Exactly."

"I'm a bad influence." Tonks said with a proud grin. "Look atcha, Harry! Plotting revenge on those awful Muggles! Wouldn't 'a done THAT when we first met."

"Yeah... but now I know the truth. A truth they kept from me. Said my parents died in a car wreck... that that's where I got my scar from." Harry said, darkly. "I know your mum said that we can't do magic outside of school - not that I know any, yet... - but it couldn't hurt to put that fear into 'em, could it? Make THEM scared for once?"

"Not in the least!" Tonks replied, throwing an arm around Harry's shoulders. "So when d'ya wanna pull off this amazing plan to make your relatives wet themselves, eh?"

"As soon as possible."

And, in this way, Harry and Tonks found themselves walking the short distance to Privet Drive. Harry was wearing a pair of black trousers and a black top that had red trim to it. Tonks was dressed similarly; her hair short and spiky, just as it had been on the day the two had first met.

"So, did you really get stuck in a cupboard under the stairs all these years?" Tonks asked, hands in her pockets.

Harry nodded, eyes narrowing slightly. "Yeah...the spiders were my only friends. They actually managed to save me from a few beatings by Dudley's gang. I'd let a few travel with me on days I was sure that I was going to get cornered. It was like they KNEW that I needed their help or something, because they always knew just when to scurry out of my clothes and onto theirs..."

"In harmony with the creepy-crawlies, huh? Wonder how Malfoy'd take to having spiders in his hair..."

Harry cracked a grin. "Add that to the list of stuff we should do to him once we learn how."

"Noted." Tonks said, winking. "So, what're we gonna say you're back for, eh?"

"Dunno. I could just say I wanted to free the remaining spiders... which I do, kinda. I certainly don't want them to get killed or anything." Harry said, eyeballing Number Four as it came into view. "Could just say I forgot that some of them were still in there."

"Works for me." Tonks said, shrugging slightly. "Long as we get to see them all spooked out, I'm happy. They deserve worse than that for all they did t'ya..."

"Oh, I plan on it. Just...after a few years of schooling." Harry replied, smirking. "Right, here we are. If they're up to snuff, the front door's unlocked and we can go right in. What time is it, anyway?"

"Well, it was a bit past noon when we left. Maybe twelve-thirty right now?" Tonks replied.

"Then...Uncle Vernon will probably be in the kitchen. Aunt Petunia will be cooking - which ought to be hilarious, since I know she can't cook a thing - and Dudley will be on the couch, staring dumbly at the television, as per usual." Harry said, ticking off relatives on his fingers. "You ready?"

"Ready, willing, and able, chief."

Harry grinned, grasped the doorknob, and threw the door open.

Steeling himself, Harry called out, "I'm home!"

The reaction was marvelously fast, all things considered. Dudley tripped on his way out into the downstairs hall and fell flat on his face in the doorway to the living room. At the same time, Vernon came roaring in from the kitchen, barely missing Dudley as he did. Petunia brought up the rear, holding a long, wooden spoon with what could have been spaghetti sauce on it.

"YOU! HOW DARE YOU SHOW YOUR FACE IN MY HOUSE AGAIN!" Vernon roared, the gleam in his eyes unmistakable. Harry had seen it every time he had been slung about and beaten. For a moment, his muscles locked up. Sensing his brief pause, Tonks got things rolling.

"Keep it down, ya dirty great barge! Th'whole neighborhood'll hear ya! Not that you don't already take up a good neighborhood's worth o' space already, mind, but tha's entirely beside the point." She said quickly, tapping her chin with a finger.

"And who the devil are you?!" Vernon growled, eyes moving from Harry to Tonks.

"His girlfriend!" Dudley spat, sounding thoroughly disgusted. Both Harry and Tonks blushed faintly at this, reminded of the time that she had helped him escape.

"Girlfriend?!" Vernon repeated, sounding even more disgusted. "So THAT'S where you went, is it?! Frolicking around with some little harlot while we starve?!"

"Harlot?!" Tonks said, sounding affronted.

"You've got some bloody nerve showing your face around here, boy!" Vernon growled, eyes moving back to Harry now.

"I won't be staying long." Harry said quietly, though his voice carried a hardened edge to it. Though he wanted to do SOMETHING to his uncle in response to his insulting Tonks, he knew perfectly well that trying to throw a punch would be suicide. "Just came to get something out of my 'room'..."

"What, an old sock?" Dudley asked, mockingly.

Harry paid him no mind and, making sure to keep his wand concealed, walked up to and past his aunt and uncle. He opened the door to his former room and leaned inside.

While he was doing this, Tonks took the opportunity to have a bit of fun. "So," She began, looking at Dudley, who was still in a prone position. "You plan to get back up, or do you need a crane to help with that? Stuck, are you?"

Dudley's face went red. He got to his feet as quickly as he could - a sight that made Tonks force back laughter - and glared at the girl. "Stop making fun of me!" He growled, warningly. "Or else!"

"Or else what?" Tonks asked, raising an eyebrow. "You'll beat me up like you beat Harry up?"

"That's right!" Dudley said, smiling viciously.

"Oi, Harry, hurry it up. Your colossal cousin over here said he'd smack me around a bit!" Tonks called, voice uncaring. From inside the cupboard, Harry called back, "Almost done!"

He reappeared a moment later, looking no different than he did when he stepped inside. All three Dursleys' noticed this. Therefore, they didn't pay much attention when Harry 'accidentally' brushed against them when he walked back over toward Tonks.

"What'd you get, then? Old air?" Dudley asked, looking Harry up and down, trying to figure out if he actually had taken something.

Harry just smiled. "No, I was doing a bit of...spring cleaning, I guess you could say. I had to get them out of there before you lot got to them, see. But six of them, they seemed like they'd agree to helping me out with something."

"What ARE you talking about?!" Vernon roared, face turning purple.

"I'm talking about the garden spiders crawling up your legs right now." Harry replied blandly.

The trio of Dursleys' reacted as one, looking down and then having fits, trying to get the rapidly-crawling arachnids off of them any way possible. After a few minutes of entertainment, Harry called out, "Okay, you lot! That's enough! Come on, get over here before they really do get a good shot at you!"

It took a moment, but the spiders neatly hopped to the ground and quickly scurried over and past Harry. They quickly made their way out the still-open front door and, presumably, to freedom. Vernon looked murderous. "I don't care if your little harlot friend IS with you, when I get my hands on you, I'll...!"

"You'll do NOTHING!" Harry growled. And, in unison, he and Tonks withdrew their wands from their hiding places. Petunia screamed, bolting back into the kitchen faster than Harry had ever seen her move. Dudley looked confused, but Vernon looked almost as spooked as his wife had sounded.

"W...Where did you get those?!" He demanded, eyeballing the wands very carefully.

"Diagon Alley." Harry replied casually. "See, Tonks and her mum were kind enough to explain what REALLY happened to my parents. And of what I really was. I'll be going to Hogwarts come September. You DO know what that is, don't you?"

Vernon developed a twitch in his eyes as he hissed, "It's where that FREAK sister of Petunia's met that FREAK Potter boy! It's where you people go to learn to train your...your abnormalities!"

"Did he just call us abnormal?" Tonks asked.

"Believe so." Harry replied.

"Wanna hex him?"

"I'd love to."

It was quickly becoming a Dursley family record-breaking day, as Vernon up and retreated to the kitchen faster than Petunia had.

"You two are loony!" Dudley said, not understanding why his parents were so frightened of pieces of wood.

"Not loony, 'Duddykins,'" Harry said, voice dark. "Wizards. You won't be pushing me around any more."

"Wizards?!" Dudley repeated, making a face. "There's no such thing as wizards, you idiot."

"Then why did your parents have such a fit when they saw our wands?" Tonks asked, smiling pleasantly.

"I..." Dudley began. But he couldn't find any reason why they WOULD have escaped so quickly. "You two are loony!" He repeated again, pointing an accusatory finger at Harry. "Completely mental! What'd you do to her, anyway?!"

"...What?" Harry asked, completely caught off-guard at the random question.

"I asked you what you did to her to make her hang out with you!" Dudley said, sneering. "You musta done something. No normal person would be around you."

"Not listening, tubby?" Tonks asked, raising her eyebrows. "We AREN'T normal! We're wizards!"

"Come on, you don't want to be around HIM." Dudley said to Tonks, jerking a thumb in Harry's direction. "You should come and hang around with me an' my friends. Hanging out with HIM'S just gonna get you hurt."

"Harry, I don't think he's listening." Tonks said.

"Nothing unusual about that." Harry replied. "He never does."

Dudley gritted his teeth, getting rather annoyed. "What's wrong with you, you... you HARLOT?" He growled at Tonks, using the term his father had.

Vernon Dursley would have been suicide to hit. Dudley Dursley, on the other hand, didn't quite have the layers upon layers of fat to protect him fully.

"Get him." Harry hissed quietly.

From within Harry's clothes, dozens of small spiders appeared. Dudley recoiled and crashed back into the wall. Harry knew quite well that his cousin was deathly afraid of spiders, and he planned to use that to his advantage.

"Dudley, Dudley," Harry said, sounding rather bored as he walked over toward his cousin, the spiders keeping one step behind him. "You shouldn't insult people. Especially girls. ...Especially girls I'm friends with."

"Sh...shut up, you freak..." Dudley whimpered, backpedaling towards the door to the kitchen. "Get your spiders and that harlot out of here!"

"You probably don't even know what the word 'harlot' means, you daft sod." Harry said in an exasperated voice. "You shouldn't use words you don't use. For goodness sake, Dudley, you're already an idiot, you don't need HELP."

Eyeballing the spiders carefully, Dudley got to his feet and did what he did best - blindly charged for Harry with fists flying.

The spiders flew forward immediately, getting onto his socks and crawling their way up into his pants. While this was happening, Harry was easily dodging the wide-open, telegraphed punches that Dudley was trying to hit him with. Years of getting beaten up, if nothing else, had increased his agility. Between the running and the dodging, he got quite good at not being punched. At least, as long as it was only Dudley coming after him.

"Don't -- call -- my -- friend --" Harry said, ducking and twisting between each word to get out of the way of more punches. "A -- HARLOT!"

Harry ducked upon saying the final word, a straight-on jab grazing across the hair on the top of his head. In prime position to strike back, finally, Harry hissed, "Bite!" and then balled his right hand up into a fist.

Seconds before Harry's hand connected to the bottom of Dudley's jaw, the fat youth let out a girlish shriek of pain and toppled over backwards. Harry, not expecting such quick movement from his cousin, missed the uppercut entirely and was sent spinning for a brief moment. When he regained his balance, he noticed Dudley writhing around on the floor, hands firmly clutched to the front of his pants. Seconds later, a small army of spiders came scurrying out of his clothing.

"What just happened?" Tonks asked, slightly confused.

As Harry lead the spiders out of Number Four, he grinned at his friend. "Well, I guess the spiders got higher than I thought they would have."

"...They bit his pink bits?!" Tonks asked, her voice higher than normal.

Harry nearly doubled over in laughter. "'Pink bits'?" He asked, making sure the last of the spiders was safely out. Tonks blushed.

"Um...that's what mum said to use when talkin' 'bout...well, that area..." She mumbled, looking anywhere but at Harry, who was all but giggling at that point.

Tonks hopped out of Number Four and Harry closed the door behind her. As they set off back towards Tonks' house, Harry mused aloud, "Number three on the Prank Malfoy list - do something to his...'pink bits.'" He then proceeded to crack up again. And, after the mental image hit her, Tonks joined him.

As they walked back towards Fenshank Lane, Harry crossed his arms behind his head and smiled. Tonks watched him for a moment before asking, "What're you so happy about, then, eh?"

"Hm? Oh... just... getting away from them, that's all." Harry said. "Eleven years being kicked about... and I'm finally FREE. ...Free and rather wealthy, to boot. You have no idea how strange it all feels to me..."

"So what's on tap for the rest of the day?" Tonks asked.

"Dunno. I suppose I could work out the name of my owl..." Harry said, eyebrows raised. "I really should give her a name, after all."

"Moony?" Suggested Tonks.

"Moony?" Repeated Harry.

"Yeah! Y'know... 'cause the moon's kinda white an' all." Tonks said, gesturing upward.

"I don't think so." Harry replied, making a face. "Makes me think of someone dropping trou..."

"What?"

"Wizards don't moon people? Huh. I only know about it because I once caught Dudley mooning poor Mrs. Guffal across the way... she looked like she was about t'be ill. Can't say I blame her, though. If I saw Dudley's rear end in all its glory, I'd feel nauseous, too." Harry said, shuddering.

"Thanks for that mental image, mate." Tonks said, sticking out her tongue and shuddering as well. "That'll replace the whale in my nightmare."

"I fail to see how that makes it any different. They're both the same size..." Harry said, smirking faintly.

"Quiet, you."

When they entered Number Nine, the two ran off upstairs and into the guest bedroom - which Tonks had officially dubbed Harry's room. Harry sat on the edge of the bed. Tonks, on the other hand, flung herself onto it and stretched out.

After awhile, Harry flopped back and looked over at his best friend. Tonks' eyes were closed and her breathing was slow and deep. Quietly, so as not to wake her if she were sleeping, Harry asked, "Tonks? You fall asleep?"

"Nah..." Her reply came, lazily. "Just thinkin'..."

"About what?"

"'Bout Hogwarts, mainly."

"Anything in particular about Hogwarts?" Harry asked.

"Not really, but..." Tonks paused, then opened her eyes (they were a cat-like yellow) and looked at Harry. "What if we get sorted into different houses? I mean...I want to still hang out an' stuff after we get there. But if we get sorted into different houses, we'd only be able t'see each other during our free time... what fun is that?"

"How does the sorting work, anyway?" Harry asked, tilting his head slightly.

"I'm not sure. Mum wouldn't tell me... she said it was more fun to keep it a surprise. She did say there was nothing to worry about - that it was easy enough. But even so..." Tonks said, staring up at the ceiling now. "I dunno, maybe I'm worryin' for no good reason, but... I'd reckon that prat Malfoy gets sorted into Slytherin. Like he said, his whole family's been there... Oh, I hope you don't get sorted into Slytherin, too, Harry..."

"Why?"

"Why?! 'Cause then I'd try gettin' put there, too. An' no offense, Harry, but having to see Malfoy day in, day out wouldn't be worth it."

"Agreed." Harry said, staring up at the ceiling now, as well. "What house was your mum in?"

"Ravenclaw. She's right smart when she wants to be." Tonks said with a smile. "She's told me stories about sittin' around their common room an' playing games with her friends 'till all hours of the night..."

"Sounds like fun..."

"Yeah. Wonder what the ride's gonna be like..."

"Right?"

Tonks blinked. "Oh, that's right... Don't think I've toldja 'bout the Express yet."

"The Express?" Harry asked, getting tired of asking so much in one sitting.

"Yeah! Mum said there's this dirty great train that takes all the students to an' from the school. The Hogwarts Express, it's called. S'a long trip from King's Cross to the school, though. Mum said that it takes mosta the day. Hope we don't get stuck in a crowded compartment..." Tonks explained.

"Ahh... ...Tonks? Do you think the other students are going to make a big deal of me? Like those people at the Leaky Cauldron did?"

Tonks looked at Harry, who was looking a bit nervous. "Don't like the popularity?" She asked.

"Not used to people paying attention to me." Harry explained with a shrug. "It still feels really odd... I don't FEEL important. I've always just...been there, in the background. Now it feels like I've been shoved out into the open for everyone to gawk at. It's nice to be away from the Dursley's an' I don't mind having some money, finally... but..."

"But you'd rather just be a regular, ordinary kid?" Tonks suggested.

Harry nodded.

"Ah, don't worry. If people stare, you can find some more spiders an' make 'em attack. Now then... let's get offa this subject an' onto happier ones." Tonks said, sitting up and grinning.

Harry sat up as well. "Like what?"

"Well, you still need to name your owl." Tonks began, motioning to the cage by the dresser that contained one sleeping, snow-white owl. "...And we need to properly write up a list of what to do to Malfoy."

Harry leaned forward and looked over at his owl. "I'm no good with names." He said. "Especially girls' names..."

"Don't call her something dumb like 'Nymphadora'..." Tonks said, a dry tone in her voice.

Harry chuckled a bit. "Right, I'll make sure not to. Any suggestions?"

"Well..." Tonks said, tilting her head back and thinking. "I have an auntie named Esmerelda...bit of a nutter, she is, though. I think one of my distant cousins is named Ginevra, but that's kinda hard t'pronounce, don'cha think?"

"Yeah, that is a bit of a mouthful." Harry agreed.

"Lesse... I know an Opal, a Sarah, a Stephanie, an Ellen, a Victoria, a Dana, a Hedwig, a Cara, a Laurie..." Tonks said, ticking names off on her fingers as she went.

"A Hedwig? What color is it?" Harry asked, raising an eyebrow.

Tonks blinked. It took her a moment, but she eventually understood and lightly swatted Harry's arm. "A Hedwig, you silly sod, not a head wig! She's my Great Grandmother. Died when I was jus' a baby."

"Hm... It's a bit of an odd name." Harry said.

"It's different, alright." Tonks agreed.

"Right, then. Her name's Hedwig." Harry said. "I want something that no one else would think to name their owl."

Tonks smiled. "Hedwig it is, then! Now that THAT'S finally taken care of..."

The girl hopped off of the bed and ran out of the room. When she came back, she had a piece of parchment, a quill, and a book in tow. She hopped back onto the bed and put the book on her lap. Setting the parchment on it, she winked at Harry. "...Let's get that list done with."

Harry laughed, leaning back on his arms. "Sounds like a good way to kill time until supper rolls around..."

"Lesse...what should we title it? How 'bout... "101 Ways to Pester a Ponce'?"

Harry snorted.

Tonks smirked and jotted it down at the top of the parchment, being as elegant as she could manage. She then began writing down numbers along the left side.

"Now then..." She said, moving the quill back up beside the first number. "I believe 'Putting spiders in his hair' was something we agreed on..."

"Don't forget 'waffling him with a toilet seat,' Tonks." Harry said, remembering an earlier conversation of theirs.

Tonks wrote this down as number two on the list.

"And then... having something proclaim revenge on Malfoy's pink bits. If we're gonna drop spiders in his hair, we need to think of another creature to send up his trousers." Tonks said, idly messing with the quill's feather. "Any ideas?"

"Dunno." Harry said. "Maybe we'll think of something once we get to Hogwarts. Keep that spot open."

Tonks nodded and wrote 'Attack his pink bits with ' - leaving the blank spot underlined so that she would know to go back to it.

"Could always make his breakfast explode all over the place. I'm sure he'd look right smashing with bits of egg and ham all over his face." Tonks said.

"Indeed he would." Harry agreed, nodding.

The two continued with their list up until the time that Andromeda returned home for the night. By that time, the two had created a grand total of twenty-six things to do to Malfoy over the source of the school year. Tonks had rolled the parchment up and put it into a spot where it would be secure.

After dinner, Harry claimed to be too tired to do much of anything else that day. He was still getting used to actually moving about a lot. Being trapped in a cupboard for eleven years and given very little freedom wasn't a good way to give one's muscles a workout. As such, his began aching after being out and about for very long. They had gotten better over the past weeks, but he still wasn't ready to run a marathon, by any means.

Harry had collapsed into bed that night, food still digesting, and stared up at the ceiling. His life wasn't perfect... his parents were dead, he had lived a thoroughly horrid life, his body was still adjusting to being free, and he would probably have to deal with being famous for the rest of his life.

But, he had thought as his eyes flitted shut, all was not completely bad. He had a wonderful best friend, he had a nice place to live now, and he was going to be spending the better part of the year at a school that taught magic.

His life was slowly - very slowly - turning around. Harry found himself having fewer and fewer nightmares as the days had passed, as well. He had smiled to himself as he began to drift off that night. Once he got to Hogwarts, he had thought, things could only get much, much better.