"And I? I spent the next few years wandering throughout Europe and the better part of Asia, trying to hunt down the man who had slain my beloved Tara. I never found him and, to this day, I suffer from severe nightmares that bring me back to the moment in time she drew her last breath. I now await my final hour to come, living alone in the house we had promised to stay in until the day we both died.
"Though I failed to save her, I can only hope and pray that she awaits me on the other side. If not for the promise I made, so very long ago when we both were young, that I would continue on if she left this world too soon... Well, let us not dwell on what I might have done. One cannot change the past, no matter how desperately one may wish at times. And in the end, we all must travel down the path we best see fit. We must always strive on, no matter the difficulties. And we must never forget those who fell before us, lest their memories be lost forever to time's cruel embrace."
Harry slowly closed the book he had finished and ran a hand over its tattered, leather cover. From the arm of his chair, Harry could hear Tonks try to hide a sniffle. He was also faintly aware that all other noises in the common room had come to a halt. He wasn't aware of when, exactly, he had started to read aloud, though it must have been for at least a few paragraphs.
The book was a true story of the trials one man, a Thomas Colswatter, had endured through his one hundred and twenty-three years. He had died, completely alone, in the house he was destined to spend his remaining years at, not a week after finishing the final chapter. Harry had found the book merely by accident as he slowly wandered the school's library in search of something to read that didn't feel so much like a textbook.
It wasn't a long book by any means, but the heart put into it more than made up for the fact. As Harry moved the book aside, being careful not to catch the cover's tattered form on anything, he looked aside at Tonks. His friend was staring determinedly across the room and at the fire. The shimmer in the corners of her eyes was not lost on Harry. And, as he joined her in watching the flames dance, he couldn't help but pray that he would never have to say goodbye to anyone in the manner Colswatter had.
oOoOoOoOoOoOo
"Ooh, look! The first snow of the season!"
Harry's shoulders tensed momentarily as a third year Gryffindor pointed outside. Without bothering to turn and look as so many of the other students were, Harry continued down the corridor. Tonks, who had been one of the many to press against the windows, finally noticed her friend walking off without her.
Blinking, she looked outside once more before running to catch up with him. "Oi! Where ya goin'?" She asked once she had fallen in step beside him again. "Don'tcha wanna come an' look at the snow?"
"No." Harry said, voice unusually clipped.
"What's eatin' you?"
"Nothing. Come on, let's get to class. I'd rather not have Snape breathing down my neck." Harry said quickly. Then, under his breath, he muttered, "Especially today..."
But if Harry had expected the Potions Master to be kind to him just because he and Tonks showed up on time, he was sorely mistaken. Almost as soon as the dark-haired man swept into the room, his eyes focused on Harry.
"Potter!" He snapped. "Five points from Ravenclaw."
Tonks goggled at the Potions Master. "What? Why?" She asked.
"For sulking. And, I believe, another five for your outburst. Now, if we may get past whatever puerile problems that have arisen in your lives, WE HAVE A CLASS TO START!" Snape growled.
Snorting out a breath, the Potions Master promptly spun around and strode over and behind his desk. Pulling his wand and flicking it at the blackboard, a list of ingredients appeared. Tucking his wand back into his wand, Snape turned to address his students again.
"Today... We will begin the Pustulcius Potion. Providing none of you
blow up another cauldron and actually get things correct for once,
this simple potion will help heal boils of all shapes and sizes." Snape paused, his dark gaze moving to each and every first year in
the class.
"Begin!"
Students immediately had quills and parchment out, jotting down the list of ingredients. As Tonks jotted things down, Harry got up to get what they would need. Being careful to avoid his professor's eyes, Harry quickly rounded up three twigs from a Foaming Ficus, four clipped toenails of a Cornish Pixy, a handful of ground-up salamander droppings, a pair of tadpole brains, and numerous other slimy things.
Setting them down carefully as he got back to his table, he saw Tonks looking at him strangely. With a scowl, he mouthed 'I'm fine!' at her as he sat. Looking over at her list, Harry began rearranging ingredients in the order they would be needed.
Class proceeded in relative silence. That is, until one of the first year Slytherin girls accidentally put in both tadpole brains instead of letting one dissolve before adding the other. This caused her cauldron to do two things; it turned a startling shade of pink and it began emitting an equally-bright, equally-pink smoke.
Snape rushed across the classroom to stop the cauldron from reaching the final step - melting down and coating the floors in the goo. As he was helping the girl out, Tonks was biting her lower lip to keep from laughing.
From one seat ahead of them, Solieyu (who had already been in the classroom when Harry and Tonks had arrived) looked over his shoulder. He looked to Snape, then to Tonks, then to Harry. Frowning, he promptly turned back around and shook his head slightly. Harry and Tonks exchanged a confused glance at this odd behavior, but otherwise said nothing. After all, Snape seemed to be in a perpetually bad mood. There was no reason to raise his ire.
Once the class was starting to come to an end, Snape got back up from his desk and started making his rounds, peering into cauldrons.
"Now then... your potions should be a light green color and should smell vaguely of chestnuts... Malfoy, you seem to have gotten it perfect. Ten points to Slytherin..." Snape said as he passed by the blonde, barely bothering to even look down at the boy's cauldron. If he had, he would have noticed that Malfoy's potion was dull blue and smelled something like a dung bomb.
Harry scowled inwardly.
"Potter! Let us see how yours is doing, shall we?" Snape asked, icily. Drifting over, he gazed long and hard down at the concoction Harry and Tonks had made. "...Three shades too bright and the smell is distinctly that of hazelnuts and not chestnuts. Five points apiece from Ravenclaw. I suggest you start learning how to properly let your brews simmer if you wish to pass my class!"
And with that, Snape was off, judging other students' potions.
When class let out, Harry was the first out of the room. Tonks, meanwhile, stayed behind with half the class to fill vials half full with their results. By the time she worked her way out into the dungeon hallway, Harry was nowhere to be seen. Solieyu, however,was leaning back against a wall, arms crossed over his chest.
"Is there something bothering Harry?" Solieyu asked quietly as Tonks approached.
Keeping her voice quiet as well, (since Malfoy was currently walking past) Tonks shrugged and murmured, "Dunno. He was actin' weird before class, too... He run off somewhere?"
"Mm. Back to the common room, perhaps? I think it's finally gotten too cold for him to wander down by the lake." Solieyu said, shoving himself away from the wall.
The two began walking. "Or in the library." Tonks said, tilting her head in thought. "I think he said he was almost finished with the current stack of books he had out..."
"Might I suggest splitting up at the stairway, then? I'll head to the library... I was going to go, anyway. I need to find a book on the finer points of hedgehog transfiguration for McGonagall." Solieyu said, looking as if he had no desire to search for such a book.
Tonks nodded. "Alright. I'll head back to the Tower, then. If we don't see him by suppertime, let's check out by the lake, anyway."
"If it comes to that, I hope we won't find him covered in icicles."
oOoOoOoOoOoOo
Time slowly passed with neither Tonks nor Solieyu finding Harry. It was nearly time for the final meal of the day and, as they walked down to the Entrance Hall, Tonks let out a sigh. "I'm gonna go out an' check the lake. I dunno why he'd have been out there all day, but if he's there, I'll bring him back in. If he hasn't already frozen himself..."
Solieyu nodded. "Come get me if you need any help."
Tonks smiled slightly at him and headed for the giant front doors of the school. Walking outside, the girl looked back and forth across the school grounds. The snow, which had been lazily falling all day, was only now beginning to stick to things. The ground was finally cold enough to prevent it from melting upon contact.
With another sigh, Tonks caught sight of who she had been searching for. Harry was sitting in one of the few spots in the whole of Hogwarts territory that he liked to call 'his' - a few feet away from the lake, knees drawn up to his chest. He had his arms wrapped around his knees and seemed to be little more than a statue as he gazed out over the freezing cold water.
"Harry...?" Tonks asked as she approached. When she got no response, she bit her lower lip and got closer. When she did, she saw a tiny ball of blue fire glowing on the ground next to Harry's body. Squatting down - to get as little of her clothing as wet as possible - Tonks could feel a faint heat radiating from the glowing ball.
"Harry?" She tried again, reaching over and gently nudging his shoulder. This seemed to snap him out of the daze he was in. Harry blinked slowly a few times, frowned, then looked over toward Tonks.
"We've been lookin' for ya since Potions..." Tonks said, her voice quiet. "You haven't been out here the whole time, have ya?"
"I have." Harry said. His voice sounded raspy.
"I was starting to get worried..."
"Sorry."
"What's wrong...?"
Harry let out a deep sigh. Though he had been expecting one of his friends to hunt him down, he had hoped they wouldn't ask why he had vanished for the better part of the day.
"I don't like December." Harry answered simply.
Tonks blinked. Whatever she had figured Harry would reply with, that certainly wasn't it. Tilting her head, she asked, "Why?"
Harry smiled grimly. "Remember who I grew up with."
Tonks started to say something, then looked down at the glowing ball of warmth in-between them. "Magic fire?"
"Yeah... started getting cold."
Tonks nodded and pulled out her wand, moving the fire out in front of them so she could scoot over. "So... what was it like around the Dursleys' at Christmas?"
Harry sighed quietly. "Well, as far back as I can recall, I've always hated it. To be honest, the Dursleys were always a bit odd around this time of year. They like watching special programs on television about Christmas as long as they don't include songs. They absolutely hated Christmas carols. Uncle Vernon nearly clocked a caroller with a waffle iron one year..."
"Ouch. I take it that they didn't exactly let you in on the festivities, huh?" Tonks asked, staring out across the lake.
"Yeah. Oh, they made sure to get me a gift each year... Though what purpose a pair of my uncle's socks with a hole in the heels could have is beyond me. Let's see... when I was five - that's as far back as I can remember - I got some socks. When I was six, I got one earmuff..."
"One earmuff?"
"Yeah. It only covered an ear. The other had to fend for itself."
"Ahh."
"When I was seven, I got the tip of the old garden hose for some
reason. When I was eight they gave me a single, dry spaghetti noodle.
When I was nine, I got a fruitcake... for all the good it did me. It wasn't as if the bloody thing was edible. And last year, I got
a hairpin." Harry finished, scowling.
"I'd love to give your relatives a howler, you know that?" Tonks said, wiggling her nose as a snowflake landed on the tip of it.
"A howler?" Harry asked, tilting his head slightly.
"Yeah." As Tonks explained the finer workings of what, exactly, a howler was, Harry couldn't help but smile a little. If he knew he wouldn't wind up getting shoved around for sending such a blatantly magical letter to their house, Harry would have sent one.
"Anyway..." Harry went on after a few minutes of silence. "One year, Uncle Vernon was particularly angry with me... I think I hadn't kept the drive free of snow or something. This was back around when I was seven or eight, by the way. I was laying around inside the cupboard, starting to drift off to sleep... next thing I knew, light flooded in, I was grabbed, I got dragged out into the back yard, and..."
"And...?"
Harry shut his eyes, blowing out a low sigh. "And was chained up to the shed out back. He left me there for the rest of the night. After that, it was a regular punishment during snowy months. Any time I'd do something wrong in their eyes, I'd get thrown into the back yard to nearly freeze to death overnight..."
"What?! Harry, that's horrible! Why didn't you tell me sooner?! I coulda gotten mum to hex them into next week!" Tonks said, gaping at her friend.
Harry shrugged. "It wouldn't have done any good. It's all in the past. I just don't like being reminded of it."
Running a hand back through his hair to brush the snow off of his
head, Harry opened his eyes halfway. "You should go on in to dinner,
Tonks. I'll be in sometime before it's over with..."
"Oh, no you don't." Tonks said, crossing her arms firmly over her chest. "I'm not moving 'til you do!"
"Tonks..." Harry began, turning to look at her with a tired expression on his face. But Tonks would have none of it. She pushed the snow on the ground around her away so she could sit on a clean (yet still cold) patch of grass.
"Not listening." Tonks said, sticking her nose up and shutting her eyes. "I'll go in when you do and not a moment sooner!"
"I'm used to this, Tonks. You aren't." Harry said.
"You shouldn't have to be!" Tonks yelled, eyes snapping open as she looked to Harry. "You shouldn't have to be used to such awful things like this! And you shouldn't force yourself to go through them by yourself! I'm not gonna run off and leave if you want to get somethin' like that off your chest, you dolt! S'what friends are for, isn't it? Helping each other through hard times?"
"Tonks..."
"Oh, be quiet an' listen, alright?" Tonks huffed. "You coulda at least asked me to come out here with ya... thatcha wanted to talk or somethin'... I've been worried sick! And I know Leon has been, too! He helped me search for you..."
"He didn't disappear after class, huh?" Harry murmured, trying to smile.
"No, he didn't. You did a fine job of that on your own." Tonks retorted. Harry winced.
"Look, Harry... you're never gonna be able to start gettin' over this stuff if you don't let us help you out when you need it, alright?" Tonks went on, putting an arm around Harry's shoulders. "Just because every Christmas you've had in the past has sucked with teeth doesn't mean this year's will. And, if it takes me 'til the end of winter, I'm gonna teach ya how to have fun in the snow... So just... don't run off and not tell me where you're gonna be again... alright?"
Harry blinked at the sudden sadness in his friend's voice. Turning his head, he saw that Tonks was looking off the other way. Feeling rather rotten for making her so upset, Harry slipped one of his arms around Tonks' shoulders, just as she was doing with him. His voice quiet, Harry murmured, "I didn't mean to make you sad or anything..."
With a great sniff and a quick swipe at her eyes with her free hand, Tonks looked back to Harry and frowned. "I know... And I know you've had a right crummy past. But that's all it is - the past. Won't do you any good sitting an' brooding on it. At the very least, do your brooding in the common room... s'warmer in there... and the fire's much more interesting to stare at..."
"Sorry." Harry muttered, casting his eyes down. "I know I should feel pretty stupid for acting like this after so many months, but... seeing the snow again suddenly brought back stuff I had locked away..."
Tonks nodded, leaning against Harry slightly. "It's alright... Just glad you're gettin' if off your chest. Mum says bottling up your emotions only makes things worse. Anything else been buggin' you lately, Harry?"
Leaning back just as slightly, Harry murmured, "No..."
"'Kay... jus' lemme know if you think of anything, though. No matter what, I promise I won't leave ya out in the cold..."
oOoOoOoOoOoOo
"Hermione, are you terribly busy?"
Looking up from her meal, Hermione blinked. "Not at all. I was just finishing up here. Is something wrong, Leon?"
Solieyu sighed, casting a glance back at the doors to the Great Hall, which hadn't opened since he had walked through. "You could say that. Harry's been missing for most of the afternoon... Tonks was going to go out to the lake to see if he was there, but she hasn't returned, either. I'm starting to get worried and I was hoping I could count on you to help me search for the both of them..."
Hermione excused herself quickly and stood. "Of course you can! Did you want to start the search now?"
"I would. The first place we need to check is down by the lake. I'd rather not think about needing to drag two frozen bodies up to the fourth floor, but...I fear we may have to if they stay out there any longer. Providing, of course, that they are out there." Solieyu said.
The two turned and walked out of the Great Hall.
Heading for the front doors of the school and stepping outside, both first years scanned the general area for life. Hermione was the one who spotted their targets first. "Aww..."
"'Aww'?" Solieyu said, turning to look at Hermione.
Hermione was smiling. She pointed and Solieyu followed the direction until he saw what she was looking at.
Harry and Tonks were still sitting down by the lake. Many more balls
of magical fire had long since joined the first that Harry had made,
forming a small circle around the pair. They were leaning against one
another and seemed to be talking quietly. Both still had an arm around
the other.
"Oh, don't they look so cute together?" Hermione gushed, grinning.
Solieyu raised an eyebrow. "Cute? They're probably just huddled together to keep themselves warm. Magical fire doesn't give off that much heat...even when there are a dozen of them scattered nearby."
"Well, yes, but still... that looks like it's a bit more than that, don't you think?" Hermione asked.
Solieyu turned his gaze outward again, looking at his friends as they talked. "...Perhaps, perhaps not. Harry seemed to be acting strange in Potions today. I'm certain that Professor Snape didn't help his mood any... Perhaps he just wanted some time to himself to sort some things out. Those two can get rather chatty when they get into a conversation."
"Should we go get them?" Asked Hermione.
"...Perhaps," Solieyu said once more, "...we could wait for just a little while longer. Five minutes at the most, though. As much as they look at peace, I wouldn't want either to get sick due to choosing a bad spot to have a talk."
oOoOoOoOoOoOo
Author's Notes: Fair warning here, y'all. I'm noooot sure how fast the next few chapters are gonna be spit out. Reason? Well, my birthday is Saturday, October 2nd (Huzzah, 23 years old) and I'll probably be off in a half-assed attempt at celebrating that. Tony Hawk's Underground 2 comes out the 4th. That's gonna hold my attention for awhile, I'm sure. Paper Mario 2 comes out the 11th. Then Metroid Prime 2 comes out like halfway into November. Yar. Don't worry, though. Usually I don't play games after midnight...and as I tend to write after 2 in the morning, things SHOULD be okay.
Just hope my arms don't start aching like a loony from my playing my soon-to-be new games and all will be fine. I'm gonna try my best to keep chapters cranking out at a steady rate. At the worst, I'll try NEVER to make a wait two weeks or over. I still occasionally get writer's block, after all, and sometimes I'm just not in the mood to write. Thankfully, the writer's block for Retransmuted here has been quite low. There's still some stuff I need to jury-rig into the thing, such as the Gringott's Break-In, but... all in good time.
Oh, and I hope no one minded the filler chapter... I wanted something sweet to lead into the Christmas chapter. And, damn it all, I wanted some fluff! And fluff I've given you! ...Well, I guess it counts as fluff. I didn't want too much other than a cute scene that showed how much Tonks cared about Harry's well-being. And in any case, Harry is oblivious as always. It'll take a few more years for real feelings to bloom.
And before anyone starts getting ideas... no, I'm not planning to pair up Leon and Hermione. So nyeh.
You'll notice I jumped ahead again. I've kinda idled in certain
spots a bit too long and wanted to move ahead to certain plot points.
Harry may be in Ravenclaw, but a certain cloak just may prove his
downfall. The next chapter? Christmas. Hopefully it'll take less than
a week to write.