Beast Boy managed to climb off the floor after being shocked onto it by the friendly voice that had just shouted into his ear. He stood up to find the expected sight of large green orbs on an eager face crowned with blazing red hair.
"Hey, Starfire," Beast Boy said with a marked lack of enthusiasm.
"I have noticed you here all day typing on your device and have made an effort not to disturb you, but friend Cyborg is evidently very upset with you for some reason. I asked him what you had done and he said you 'care more for squiggly lines that only exist in some network animator's sick imagination than for your real friends.' That is not true, is it Beast Boy? I do not know why you should prefer squiggly lines in some network animator's sick imagination to friend Cyborg or to the rest of us, but then I do not know what squiggly lines in some network animator's sick imagination are or perhaps I would love them as well. Can you tell me why you love them so?" And having completed this oration she blinked her large orbs in sincere puzzlement.
Despite his initial grumpiness at the interruption Beast Boy could not help but smile at the innocent enthusiasm of his alien friend. No one could be mad at Starfire.
"Here Star, I'll show you what I'm doing," he said in a cheerier tone as he pulled up a chair alongside his, "and I'm sorry I made Cyborg mad. I was just really busy and he got on my nerves a little bit. I'll apologize to him next time I see him."
"That is most welcome news!" Starfire cheered, clapping her hands as she sat down to look at Beast Boy's computer screen. "So where are these 'squiggles' Cyborg spoke of?"
"You see Star, I'm writing a story. That's all."
"On my planet stories are written by great artists in longhand on illuminated scrolls to be read aloud at solemn occasions. Is that what you are doing? I did not know you were a chronicler. When are you going to inscribe the scroll?" She blinked again.
"Um . . . well Star, I'm not a chronicler," he confessed, "it's just that . . . wait a minute. You know those cartoons we sometimes watch on TV?"
"Oh yes! Many of them are adorable!" she squealed with enthusiasm.
"Well, people who like those shows sometimes make up stories about the characters. Then they post those stories on the Internet where other fans can read and enjoy them. Do you understand?"
Starfire thought for a moment. "I am not sure," she said at last, "I know that I enjoy the cartoon about those delightful little boys who are always in the snow! Only the words they use were not in the English vocabulary lessons I studied before coming here. Are you perhaps writing about them???"
"Er . . . no," he said, blushing in embarrassment that Starfire might be watching and giggling along with "South Park." So he changed the subject at once. "Have you ever seen that show on Nickelodeon, 'Kablaam?'"
Starfire stared at him for a moment. "I do not think so," she said.
"Well, it's basically an anthology of various short cartoons, most of them really good. But anyway, I'm writing about the boy and girl who host the show and introduce the various segments. Their names are Henry and June, and I'm supposing that poor Henry has a terrible crush on June but doesn't dare mention it to her for fear of losing her friendship, so instead he just keeps his pain locked up inside himself and endures sheer agony every moment that she is in her gut-churning, heartbreaking presence."
"Hey, don't get worked up, Star! There's no hint of any romantic feelings on the actual show; I just decided to write a story about how things would be if there were."
"Oh, glorious!" Starfire said, drying her tears at once. "Oh, you are going to make them live happily ever after, are you not? Surely you would not allow such an unhappy situation to continue, for you understand poor 'Henry''s feelings, and I know you will make them both live happily ever after!" And it was a good thing that she had convinced herself of this, because the truth was that Beast Boy didn't intend for Henry's miseries to ever end.
"Would . . . would you like to see what the kids from the show look like?" the green scribe asked at length, hoping to change the subject.
"I would love to seem them, Beast Boy!" she exclaimed.
"Here they are," he said, and he called up some picture files of them he had saved on his computer.
"Oh, they are adorable together!" the Tamaranian gushed. "And you say they are in love?"
"Well, I didn't exactly say that they were both in l--"
"And they appear to be brother and sister as well! Oh, that makes it even more adorable!"
Beast Boy did not intend what he said next to sound angry, but the argument with Cyborg compared with Starfire's apparent ignorance of the issue made his frustration evident.
"Ack! They are NOT brother and sister, Star! They're just drawn similarly! I mean . . . romance between relatives is sick and disgusting and just plain morally WRONG! Don't you know that???"
Starfire stood up in horror during this little lecture and her eyes began to tear. "I am sorry, friend Beast Boy, for my ignorance which has so offended you. I am afraid that I did not know that. In some sectors of the universe marriage between close relatives is not considered improper, especially among the nobility. I assure you that had I known that such a thing were considered offensive on your planet that I would never have suggested such a thing. Please . . . forgive me . . . !" And the quietly sobbing girl ran out of the room, not even bothering to fly.
"Oh, shoot!" Beast Boy told himself, "Why did I have to go and bawl poor Starfire out like that for? She didn't mean any harm, and she can't help it that she doesn't understand some of our taboos. And she only wanted to encourage me! Darn! I wish I could kick myself!" But he didn't try, because he knew in a very short time someone else would be offering to do it for him.
No need even trying to get back to typing on his story. No, it should be any minute now. Three, two, one . . .
"Hey, just what's the big idea yelling at Star like that? You made her cry, you big bully!"
To be continued . . .