Fields of Gold
Chapter 3: One-Way Trip down Memory Lane
By Minako-hime
Author's Note: I've had just the most awesome time writing this story, and I would like to take this time to thank you al for reading my story that has been so belatedly updated...sweatdrops Well, since this note is being written right smack-dab in the middle of my writing this chapter, I really hope that I won't get this out so late this time... I've been very busy lately, what with college and everything else. But you make time for the things that you love, and I love writing. My English composition class has made me realize that. Anyway, if you guys have any questions or concerns, please review or e-mail me (I won't bite, in fact, I love reader-writer interaction because it really encourages me). Please read and review to tell me what you think and any possible suggestions. Oh, and if I don't update in what seems like forever, you are free to e-mail me or review and tell me to hurry my butt up! Just no flames, please; they will make me write less! Anyway, on with the disclaimer! Oh, and lyrics are in italics if you get confused! Join me in confusion!
Disclaimer: I hate these stupid things... How many times do I have to say that I don't own Fushigi Yuugi! I wouldn't even be able to go to college if I didn't have scholarships and grants. Pell Grant and Teaching Fellows scholarship rock, along with my college! Haha! Did you actually think I'd tell you what college I'm attending?! I now longer know how much money I have spent on this series... I'm gonna have to count... counts and keeps losing count I'm gonna have to work on that if I ever wanna graduate with a BS in Mathematics and a Secondary Teacher Licensure! O.o;;;
I gazed up at the tall figure above me when he reached us, gawking at the familiarity of his face. Blue-violet eyes stared back at me for the shortest second longer than you would expect, recognition flashing in them for a moment, then fading to frantic panic.
You'll remember me when the west wind moves upon the fields of barley...The lithe and muscular teenager fell to his knees and immediately seized my brother's wrist for a pulse that was faintly there, then bent down to listen for the sound of breathing. Nothing. As I was dialing for an ambulance, he locked his worried eyes with mine, saying, "Hurry, dial as fast as you can! I don't know what's wrong, but I have the feeling that his life is dependent upon how quickly an ambulance gets here! I'll give him rescue breathing and try my best to revive him, but I don't know how long he'll last!"
All I could do was nod, feeling too incapacitated to even dial the cellular phone in my hands, but I managed to punch the numbers required, and I waited desperately for a voice on the other end. My questions for this boy who looked so much like my lost love would have to wait; Keisuke's life was more important.
"Please tell me your emergency and your location," said a well-trained voice through the receiver, and I found myself to be rendered speechless. The pressure of my brother's possible death put me at a loss for action, let alone words, and I was frozen on my end of the line. "Are you all right?" the concerned operator asked, then commanded me, saying, "Don't panic. Please tell me your emergency, and I'll try to figure out how I can help you from there... Are you there?"
As she slowly realized my inability to function after this shocking turn of events, Yui grabbed the phone and easily told the woman our location, making sure she was more than detailed enough, and, as she was enlightened by the operator, barked orders to the young man trying to save my brother's life. After nearly half an hour of exhausting attempts, all he could do was restore Keisuke's breathing to labored gasps, and the emergency medical technicians carefully laid him on a stretcher to wheel him on the vehicle with Yui and me in tow. If only we had not been in this secluded field... They would have gotten here much faster that way. Maybe if I hadn't been depressed in the first place, this never would have happened... It's all MY fault...!
"I'll meet you at the hospital! Intercom me so I can meet you two somewhere! He'll likely be in the operating room and intensive care for a good while! My name is Sukunami Taka! Don't forget!" The strikingly familiar boy now known as Taka yelled over the commotion of the medical technicians, running to his car with his head turned toward us instead of the direction in which he was going. Without a wasted second, he had already pulled out of the field, racing to the hospital like a man possessed.
Almost instantly upon entering the ambulance, I collapsed into my best friend's arms in tears, unable to watch the people saving Keisuke's life connecting various medical instruments onto his unresponsive body. She simply comforted me the same way Keisuke would, knowing the practically instantaneous effect it had on me. If Yui had not been there, I don't know if I would have been able to even remain conscious through the shaky ride to the hospital. As soon as my brother had passed out, I could feel the same force pulling violently on my mind, and I had to force myself, with Yui's help, to keep from fainting. "Oh, Keisuke...!" I cried, simply letting the sobs wrack my body in near convulsions, almost throwing my best friend to the floor with my blind movements.
"Miaka-chan, please pull yourself together! Hysterics will not help Keisuke's situation... Ugh!" Yui managed to state before she lost her hold of me, losing her balance in the process as well, and landing unceremoniously on the floor. "No good. She's lost it..." And she was right; I had. How I was supposed to stay sane when my brother could still lose his life, and I had seen someone who looked exactly like my lover from Konan with a different name, all in the same, previously uneventful day? What else could I do but fall apart? Absolutely nothing. And right then, I felt like nothing. I couldn't help my brother, couldn't bring myself to talk to this Tamahome look-alike, and could barely keep myself from fainting right there in the ambulance.
Yui must have been able to read my mind. She seemed to have been cultivating that ability quite well lately because she screamed over the shouts of the technicians, "Miaka, stay awake! At least wait until we can get into the hospital before you faint! There, they'll be able to take care of you, but right now, they've only got one stretcher and are concentrating on reviving your brother! Do all you can to keep yourself conscious! Please, I'm begging you!" She was right, so I tried my absolute best, but as soon as we could arrive at the hospital, I had no idea how long I could last. One look at Sukunami Taka would probably be more than I could take...
Within another half hour, we arrived at one of the leading university's hospitals, and I watched helplessly as Keisuke was wheeled into the operating room. His breathing was still only coming in frequent, labored gasps, and he had not regained consciousness. Poor, sweet Keisuke... He didn't deserve this pain and this vicious battle for his own life. He was too kind and gentle to be tormented like this. It reminded me of Tamahome's endless suffering. Neither of them ever deserved what they went through for me! As soon as my older brother's frail body disappeared through the double doors, I collapsed onto the overly-sterilized tile floors and sobbed, and Yui immediately seized me in her fierce embrace, half-supporting and half-carrying me to a chair in the waiting area.
Suddenly, a harried and frenzied young man burst through the doors, looking every conceivable way for any indication of either one of us, and Yui signaled for him to hurry over. Upon seeing my condition, his expression transformed from worry to utter terror, and he quickened his pace, reaching us in a matter of seconds. "Miss, maybe you should let me speak with her..."
"My name's Yui, and that is fine me, Taka. But you'll want to be very gentle and easy with her. She collapsed only a minute ago when she saw her brother go into the operating room..." Yui cautioned him, making sure he understood the magnitude of the situation. When he nodded, she entrusted me to him, hoping that my seeing him wouldn't cause my state to worsen. "Oh, and he name is Miaka, if you're wondering."
"Miaka, ne...?" he whispered thoughtfully, allowing the precious syllables to roll off of his tongue. Precious? What was he thinking? He had only just met this girl, despite the fact that perhaps she was the one for whom he was looking, the one he had so willingly protected with seven others in his very blurry past life. Her creamy white skin was now deathly pale as she cried heartbreakingly into the back of the chair. "Miaka...are you all right?"
I turned on a dime to face him. "What kind of question is that, baka yaro?! Of course I'm not all right! My brother's in the OR fighting for his life, and...and...!" I screamed, using the last ounce of my strength before I fell forward, straight into his arms that rushed to catch my light body. His touch, his warmth...all the same...! I could fell myself stiffen in his hold; it was so sudden, such a shock, and I knew that I was incapable of absorbing it at the moment. My eyes closed as I became limp in his powerful grasp, finally giving into the nagging darkness threatening to steal my consciousness. "Tama...home...I..." The last thing I could hear before I passed out was Taka's panicked scream of my name.
My much-needed sleep was interrupted by two familiar, hushed voices, and I seemed to be topic of discussion. I closed eyes again, feigning slumber so I could continue to listen to their conversation.
"Yui-san, do you think that she's really okay? It's been over twenty-four since Miaka fainted, and she still hasn't woken! I'm really worried!" I heard Taka speaking in the voice he seemed to have stolen from my lost love, Tamahome. I could sense the preoccupation of worry in his tone, and my heart ached for him, despite my telling myself that he isn't Tamahome multiple times. "I mean, Keisuke-san has already regained consciousness and is in stable condition in intensive care. She should be awake by now!"
"Taka-san, you must be patient with her! She's had a lot on her plate lately! Do you really expect her to get over what has happened to her brother this quickly? You don't know what that girl has been through in the past year... You have no right to say anything...!" Yui responded, wiping stray tears from her face. "Miaka is the strongest person I know. I've seen her come out on the other side of the worst situations anyone could encounter, and she STILL wanted to be my friend after all that I did to her! So, please...don't judge her, okay...?" Yui-chan...she's so devoted to me... Why does she still feel so guilty about what happened? I told her everything was okay between us now... Doesn't she know that I've forgiven her, that I ached for her friendship the whole time we were forced to be rivals?!
My eyes opened again, more slowly this time, and the faces of the two people I cared about most came into focus. Taka was the first to notice, rushing to my side in half a second's passing. "Miaka...! I'm so glad you're awake now! You have no idea how worried we were...!" How could he be so worried? He couldn't be as concerned as Tamahome would in such a situation, could he? It wasn't possible for him to come to this world, was it...? Soon, as I looked into his violet-blue eyes, all my doubts were washed away into their unfathomable depths. This boy before me, the one who now possessed every last feature that belonged to my lover in The Universe of the Four Gods, was the reincarnation of Tamahome of the Suzaku Seishi!
"T-Tamahome...? I'm so...glad...you came back to me...!" I whispered happily, and I noticed Taka had to bend down in order to hear my weak and quiet voice. "Oh, sorry... I didn't mean to talk so softly..." I said in a volume no louder than before. That was when I realized how weak I really was at the moment. Worrying about my brother must have taken a lot out of me. My eyes involuntarily closed, and when I opened them again, I saw a frightened expression on Taka's face, and I reached towards him with my left hand, attempting to calm him with my touch. His eyes wandered from my fact to the ring adorning my tiny ring finger, suddenly grasping it with full strength as he fully examined it.
My wrist and hand screamed with pain in his iron grip, and I couldn't stifle a cry of my own that nearly deafened him, alerting him that he was hurting me. He quickly loosened his grip on me, still not releasing my hand so that he could continue looking at the ring that Tamahome and I had exchanged with one another. Without warning, Taka gently removed it from my hand, much to my protest, and he gazed at it, comparing it with his own that I spotted upon his ring finger. It was my turn to take his ring from his hand, and I remained transfixed, examining it and playing with it in my frail hands. His ring...so much bigger than mine...a size nine, in fact, for his large, sinewy hand... But it's exactly the same on that I gave...to Tamahome! My Tamahome had come back to me, wearing one of the matching wedding rings that we had exchanged during our little makeshift ceremony. "You found me...just like you said you would...in your note..." I whispered, forcing the words out of my exhausted body almost inaudibly.
He took my bony, little hand in both of his big, strong ones, then said, "I can't believe it. I've been searching all these years...but the time that I found you was when I wasn't looking, when I had almost given up hope. But there is one thing you have to know, Miaka. I am not Tamahome and never will be. I am an entirely separate person, and you will probably find a lot of differences between us. I wish that I could be all that he was for you, but I can't...so, before we continue...that is something you must accept about me. I hope that all of me is enough...for you to love me with all your heart." At the end of this heavily emotional exchange between his heart and mine, he closed his eyes, as if the wait for my answer was too nerve-wracking to bear. I so wished that he would reveal those deep pools of violet to me again...
My other hand reached for his of its own will, and I softly caressed his rough, calloused skin atop the many bones and tendons that had protected me so well in his previous life as my guardian. "I'll do anything just to be with you...even if we have to fall in love with each other all over again! Please...just stay with me, Tama—I mean...Taka... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to call you that... Even if you do share the same soul, you are two very different people, aren't you?"
"I'm sure it's hard to get used to, so it's alright for now. Just relax, and everything will be all right. You know, Keisuke-san's awake again. When you feel better, I'll take you up to ICU to see him. But you're much too weak and fragile right now, Miaka. I was so afraid when you fainted... I couldn't bear the thought of losing you when we had just found each other again. I only wish I could hold you in my arms now, but if I did, I think I might break you." A small smile spread across his handsome face, accentuating his boyish feature and making him look absolutely adorable. I would never have to fall in love with him again, I realized then. He was so earnest, so kind, so protective... But I could already see a few differences between the two. Taka was much less shy than Tamahome. Tamahome would never have confessed his love to me so soon after we'd met. Nearly a minute later, he opened his mouth to speak again and said, "Please rest now, and don't push yourself. I'll stay with you until you wake again, all night if need be. I love you, and I'm never gonna let you out of my sight again!"
He never let go of my hand. Instead, he used one of his own to stroke the bangs away from y face and comb through my hair with his nimble fingers, effectively putting me to sleep. With Taka by my side, I would never need another lullaby; his gentle touch would easily do the trick. Content, I was finally able to descend into the depths of peaceful slumber of which I had not seen the likes in over half a year.