Hermione walked quietly down the hotel hallway. She giggled seductively, "tee hee". George was waiting for her.

Hermione entered the hotel room. seductively. George was waiting. seductively. He was only clad in his sparkly red man thong. Hermione giggled again. even more seductively, "Tee hee hee".

George motioned for her to come. closer.

They had sex. seductively.

The next morning. Hermione found herself having coffee in the hotel's restaurant. seductively.

George came in, "I have a confession to make."

"What. hot lips?" Hermione asked.

"I'm not George! I'm Fred and I may be pregnant!"

"Really?" Hermione whispered, her chocolate eyes looked him up and down, and flickered to his lips. those hot hot hot lips. "Cause I may be pregnant too!"

George ( I mean, Fred) screamed. Then they did a happy dance. seductively.

"Is it my baby?" George (I mean, Fred) asked.

Hermione shrugged, her sexy brown hair cascading down her shoulders. She smiled at Fred and said, "But I love George. I'm sorry Fred."

Fred weeped silently, "Because my baby is yours."

Hermione patted him on the back, "I'm sorry my love. I mean Tamino."

"Who's Tamino?" he asked.

"He's a sexy man in the Magic Flute."

"Oh, okay."

"Well, he's not what you call attractive, but he's sexy!" screamed an old woman who came out of nowhere. And then disappeared back to the gilbert house.

Hermione was about to walk off when Fred called, "What about our sappy farewell?"

Hermione ran back to him, "Farewell." she whispered. seductively.

A week later, Hermione found out that the baby was Draco's. Or was it Harry's? No, it was Draco's.

Are you sure?

Yes.

So then, Hermione went to Malfoy Manor and told Draco the news.

"But we didn't have sex!"

"Oh well!" Hermione shrugged. "It's still yours!"

Then George spontaneously walked in, "Hey! What about me?" He then bitch- slapped Draco. And then proceeded to leave using the window as an exit.

"You could've used the huge oak doors, doofus," Malfoy called down to George who was sprawled on the ground, moaning in pain.

Hermione used this time to call out the window, her sexy brown hair falling around her face. seductively, "George, I must tell you. Draco and I are eloping."

"We are?" asked Draco.

"YES!!!! JUST GO WITH IT YOU MUDBLOOD HATING FOOL!!!" Draco backed off.

Draco smiled sheepishly, "Baaaaaa! I mean. okay."

Then Fred walked in. seductively, "Guess what Hermione? I got an abortion! Because I don't believe in men having babies."

Hermione smiled, "I hate abortions. cause I'm a Christian freak!"

And then she pushed Fred out the window. And there he fell on top of George.

"ABORT THAT!" she screamed, "YOU BABY KILLER! WHAT WOULD JESUS DO FRED? WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?"

And then Fred realized he was on top of George. And George realized he was under Fred, "Hey! You slept with my girlfriend!" George cried.

"We did more than sleep." he smiled. Then George tried to kill him. but Fred killed George instead. And then George's ghost came from the dead and killed Fred. So then they were both dead, and ghosts. and so they had a lightsaber fight in prom dresses forever on the back of a flying camel smoking a frying pan. seductively.

Back to Draco and Hermione.

"So, wanna elope?" Draco asked casually, as if this were not a dramatic moment.

"OKAY!" Hermione yelled, forgetting to undo the caps lock.

So they eloped.

The end.

Tune in next time to find out how Draco was born. and how Mrs. Norris seduces Harry!

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