Before the month was gone Eva called Atlanta three more times to tell her Ryan had called. Jesus.. Why couldn't he leave her alone? He was back with his rich family and she assumed back with Marissa, so why was he calling her? She didn't know what to do.. He was so much a part of her and always would be. She had been his best friend, his lover and had sometimes felt like his mother. How she missed him

Chewing her lip she dialed the number he had left for her. When his voice answered she almost hung up.

"If you don't say something I'm hanging up"

"It's me Ryan.," her voice threatening to break.

"Theresa? Is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me. How ya doin'?"

"I'm good.. are you all right?"

"Never better." They both snickered remembering the day in the park. The ice finally broken, the air was a little more comfortable.

"Ma said you wanted to talk to me." She struggled to keep her voice even but knew she was going to lose the battle.

"I wanted to know you were ok. I wanted to see you but you just took off. I just felt kinda lost. I feel so guilty about not being there."

"Ryan, there is nothing for you to feel guilty about. If there is any guilt it's mine. Things happen for a reason. All of this is my fault. I never should have looked for you or interfered in your life after you left Chino. I just loved and missed you so much... "The tears were beginning to come and there was nothing she could do about it. She walked a fine line here and could not afford any slip of the tongue.

"Theresa, did you hold a gun to my head?"

She sniffed loudly and sighed.

"At the end I did.. I should never have told anyone about my situation, especially you. I was scared to death and I knew you wouldn't let me down. I ripped you from a family and girl that love you and I am so sorry about it. Have you and Marissa patched things up? And Seth... everything all right there?"

Ryan sighed into the phone. "All of the problems between me and Marissa aren't because of you. There are good days and bad days. Seth and I are working through it. I think that part will work out just fine."

"I'm so glad. They all love you a lot. Ryan, I need to go, time for work."

"Hey, is there a number or address I can reach you?"

"Ryan, things are still up in the air here," she lied.

"Theresa, please.. I don't want.. can't let you go like this.. not again."

Now what in the hell was she supposed to do. The sobs were closing in... she needed to get off here fast before she broke down.

"I'll keep in touch. You take care. I... bye Ryan."

Hanging up the phone she finally broke. She had almost said 'I love you'. It was true but under the circumstances how stupid would that have been. When the tears had finally stopped she felt better.

Things seldom worked out the way they were planned. Like when the baby was born. Due to the obvious fact there was no father to take part, Lupe had volunteered to be her coach in birthing class. They had had a great time attending the sessions and a strong bond had formed between the two women. Lupe was as excited about the impending delivery as Theresa.

The teamsters were out on strike and a lot of the supplies Manny needed were sitting in Savannah. Manny, Lupe and two of their employees loaded up in three rental trucks and set out bright and early. The baby wasn't due for two more weeks but Theresa stayed behind. She was just too large and a trip like that would have been too uncomfortable for her. She busied herself at the restaurant until after the lunch crowd and then went home to take a nap.

She was exhausted but she tossed and turned unable to get comfortable. When the first pain hit she understood why. Don't panic she had told herself. She got up and checked the time. Picking up the phone she tried to call Manny and Lupe on their cell phone but couldn't get any service response. About twenty minutes after the first pain the second one washed over her. She called her midwife and told her the situation. They told her to come on in rather than stay by herself. Since there was no one to drive her, she grabbed her bag, the keys and set off for the clinic. She had to pull over twice when the pains came but she managed to arrive without incident. The pains were now at about 12 minutes apart. They set her up in a room and told her to call if she needed anything. Sitting there all by herself she thought of Ryan, Eddie, her mother and how differently this could have been. As she panted and puffed her way to motherhood so many thoughts had been in her mind. Eddie never had tried to get in touch with her. Just as well, he could use someone else as his personal punching bag. Ryan had phoned her mother three more times wanting to speak to her. She didn't even have names picked out yet and the baby was almost here.

Ever so often a nurse would come in and check to see how far she was dilated, other than that it was just breathe and push. Twenty two hours from the first pain, she was finally rewarded with a 10 pound 12 ounce 26 inch long baby with the right number of toes, fingers, arms and legs. There had been some talk about a C-section but in the end the baby arrived normal delivery. That had been a long nights work... and not once had she allowed herself to call out for him.

She is jerked back to the present as Lupe bursts through the door.

"Theresa, you are still standing where I left you three hours ago, Lupe laughed. If you don't hurry we're going to be late." Lupe released the bundle she had been struggling with and with a squeal the child made for its mother. Kneeling on the floor the Theresa held out her arms as her son ran to her. Scooping him up in her embrace she whirled him around in the air. His musical laughter fills the air and as she lowers him, he covers her face with sloppy wet kisses.

In less than three hours she will be the only one in her family to graduate high school and to graduate from college. She has a good job and a future here. Many things have changed for her but not everything. As she looks into her son's radiant blue eyes, she knows she's still lost in blue