Mrs. Norris was walking. nude. however she was a cat, so it did not
matter to anyone. Harry was also walking down this hall. Suddenly they were
flying through a giant tube, and they found themselves in the past. with
napoleon in the future eating ice cream from the past. nude. Though they
were only at a bowling alley, they seeked the privacy of underneath a
bench. This was not as romantic as it could have been, because there was an
old man with a gas problem .. Nude. sitting on the bench. Out of nowhere
the entire bowling alley was covered in rose petals, candles, and dim
lighting. Harry decided this would be a great time to have sex. So he did.
with a cat. Nude. MRS. NORRIS AS A MATTER OF FACT!!!!!!!! Remember this is
in the past, that's a key part. Magically, (and nudely) she magically
turned into a beautiful woman. She had flowing blond hair and was extremely
sexy, and nude. Okay she was dressed, but only in a plastic tuxedo and
socks.
"You are a rapist!" She cried angrily. "So I will cast a magical spell on you and your evil penis of DOOM!!! You will become a TWISTY PRETZEL until you prove that you are emotionally stable!"
Then, without a sound or flashy exit, she disappeared. Harry became a pretzel.
************************
Meanwhile, while Harry was a pretzel, and very confused. Mrs. Norris/Beautiful woman had a child. But it was 9 months later. Thought I'd mention that. A blond child. nude. Under an olive tree with camels and many rabbits, and she named this child Darco. Because it was a DARK (hahahahahahahahaha get it??) and mysterious name. She didn't know what to do. So in the end, she left the baby on a door-step. On a condom, (for the whole irony of it all, and also because she couldn't find a piece of paper,) she wrote IN HER OWN BLOOD, "Darco". When Narcissus Malfoy (hahahahahaha, betcha didn't see that coming!!) picked this boy up, she discovered she was illiterate. And Nude. Sounding out the words on the condom.
"D.raaa.dra.co!!!" She decided to name the baby Phillip.
But when her husband, (LUSCIOUS MALFOY) found the boy, he knew he could never have a son named Philip. The name on the condom was close to the word dragon in latin, which was a great name for HIS son. That name, DRAGON, also tends to compensate for some things.
******************************
Thirteen years later Harry and Draco were bound to meet again. Striding proudly into the great hall Draco Malfoy was having a good day, he was also wearing a cloak, BUT NOTHING ELSE. Underneath that cloak he was nude, nude, nude, nude naked. He then began to make out (I don't know why, it needs action) with a beautiful muggle girl with curly dark brown hair, and another one with short dark/blond hair. AT THE SAME TIME.
"Could you get a room???" says Harry boyishly. But then began to make out with a sexy blond muggle.
Somewhere off in the corner hair a curly. um. brown haired. um. well her name was Molly was making out with a sex god in the corner of the castle. And that's that.
Tune in next time where we find out how HARRY was born. it has to do, yet again, with time travel.
To all our lovely reviewers, we'd like to say thanks! We've never heard so many references to mentally unstable people and the crack pipe. However, we are here to inform you that we are not on the pipe, there are more than one ways to take crack you know. Just a fact, NOT SUGGESTING ANYTHING. And to "a person", who suggests to us that men can't have babies, WE KNOW THAT IDIOT! THAT'S WHY HE HAD AN ABORTION. Anyway we're flattered that you've taken our story so seriously to actually get ANGRY!! You people are great. Love ya'..nudely.
"You are a rapist!" She cried angrily. "So I will cast a magical spell on you and your evil penis of DOOM!!! You will become a TWISTY PRETZEL until you prove that you are emotionally stable!"
Then, without a sound or flashy exit, she disappeared. Harry became a pretzel.
************************
Meanwhile, while Harry was a pretzel, and very confused. Mrs. Norris/Beautiful woman had a child. But it was 9 months later. Thought I'd mention that. A blond child. nude. Under an olive tree with camels and many rabbits, and she named this child Darco. Because it was a DARK (hahahahahahahahaha get it??) and mysterious name. She didn't know what to do. So in the end, she left the baby on a door-step. On a condom, (for the whole irony of it all, and also because she couldn't find a piece of paper,) she wrote IN HER OWN BLOOD, "Darco". When Narcissus Malfoy (hahahahahaha, betcha didn't see that coming!!) picked this boy up, she discovered she was illiterate. And Nude. Sounding out the words on the condom.
"D.raaa.dra.co!!!" She decided to name the baby Phillip.
But when her husband, (LUSCIOUS MALFOY) found the boy, he knew he could never have a son named Philip. The name on the condom was close to the word dragon in latin, which was a great name for HIS son. That name, DRAGON, also tends to compensate for some things.
******************************
Thirteen years later Harry and Draco were bound to meet again. Striding proudly into the great hall Draco Malfoy was having a good day, he was also wearing a cloak, BUT NOTHING ELSE. Underneath that cloak he was nude, nude, nude, nude naked. He then began to make out (I don't know why, it needs action) with a beautiful muggle girl with curly dark brown hair, and another one with short dark/blond hair. AT THE SAME TIME.
"Could you get a room???" says Harry boyishly. But then began to make out with a sexy blond muggle.
Somewhere off in the corner hair a curly. um. brown haired. um. well her name was Molly was making out with a sex god in the corner of the castle. And that's that.
Tune in next time where we find out how HARRY was born. it has to do, yet again, with time travel.
To all our lovely reviewers, we'd like to say thanks! We've never heard so many references to mentally unstable people and the crack pipe. However, we are here to inform you that we are not on the pipe, there are more than one ways to take crack you know. Just a fact, NOT SUGGESTING ANYTHING. And to "a person", who suggests to us that men can't have babies, WE KNOW THAT IDIOT! THAT'S WHY HE HAD AN ABORTION. Anyway we're flattered that you've taken our story so seriously to actually get ANGRY!! You people are great. Love ya'..nudely.