Chapter 19
"Zell! Zell, wake up now. This is no time to be lying in bed."
Slowly, Zell opened his eyes, noticing that it was still dark outside, and that the incessant pounding at the door, which had awoken him showed no signs of halting.
"ZELL," Selphie screamed even louder. "Get out of bed now."
Perceiving the urgency in her voice, he tried to roll out of bed immediately, ending up in a heap on the floor. He picked himself up and dusted himself down, before quickly throwing on the first set of clothes he could find. Within seconds he was at the door.
"What's up guys?" he asked Selphie and a very worried looking Irvine, who were both waiting for him outside the door.
"Something's going on. I passed some guy, who was it Selphie?"
"I think it was Simmons."
"Yeah that's the guy, Simmons. I passed him in the hallway. He seemed in a really foul mood and he kept muttering something about Squall and Quistis."
"And just a few minutes ago there was an urgent call for Headmaster Cid to go to the front gate," added Selphie.
"Well, this had better turn out to be something. I hate being woken up. Especially at…" He looked down to check his watch. "Four in the morning! You woke me up at four in the morning? I didn't even know that there was a four in the morning."
"Zell, calm down. This is serious, okay?" rebuked Selphie. "They might have found Squall. We have to go and check it out."
"Quistis?"
She was so lost in thought that she barely heard the myriad of voices calling out for her.
"Quistis?" Their cries were repeated, louder this time, but to the same effect. She simply couldn't hear them.
"Snap out of it," Zell shouted, shaking her by the shoulders. This seemed to have the desired effect, as the glazed expression that she had been wearing slowly dissipated.
"What?" She asked, somewhat surprised that there were people here with her.
"Quistis, what's the matter?" asked Selphie, gently. She was well aware of the state that her friend's mind was in, and she didn't want to do anything that might upset her further.
"She…she was right," Quistis replied, almost breaking down mid-sentence. "She was right dammit, and would I listen?"
"Who was right?"
"No, of course I didn't listen. When do I ever? I couldn't stop and see what was right in front of me. How long have been living in my dreams?"
"Quistis, what are you talking about? Who was right? What dreams are you talking about?" Selphie was becoming more and more insistent, trying to discover the method behind her friend's madness.
"Look. Look around you," motioned Quistis. It was only then that they saw the utter carnage that was right before them.
"My God," Irvine whispered. "What happened here? They're all dead." Despite the fact that they were no strangers to violence, the scene shocked them deeply. None of them had ever witnessed anything of the kind before.
"I did this." Quistis was choking back her tears as she said this. "This…this was all my fault."
"How Quistis? How is it your fault?" asked Selphie.
"I spoke out against her when she was right. I brought this upon us all." Nothing could now stop the flood of tears that had been threatening to flow for some time.
"You mean Rinoa don't you?"
She nodded in reply. "He's really gone you know?"
"Squall will come back soon," said Zell. "Now that we know the truth the Headmaster's sure to forgive him. I mean, look at these men, they're all in Galbadian Army uniform. That means that Caraway really was after SeeD."
"Squall knows," Quistis replied. "He knows all of this. If it wasn't for him we'd all be dead by now."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean he saved us. We turned our back on him, but he still saved us. Wait…I turned my back on him. You three have done nothing wrong."
"Quistis, are you saying that he did this? Killed all these people?"
"Yes, don't you understand? He was here, he saved us."
"Then why didn't he stay? He must have known that the whole misunderstanding would be worked out."
"I don't know why he didn't stay. He just looked me straight in the eye and left."
"Who left?" a voice questioned them. The group turned round to find themselves face to face with Headmaster Cid.
"It's a long story, Sir," Selphie replied.
"You'd better come up to my office. I need an explanation for this," he said, looking forlornly at the sea of dead bodies littering the corridor.
"So let me get this straight. You're saying that these men attacked Garden, but were stopped by Squall, who simply left?"
"Yes, Sir, that's correct," Quistis replied.
"How did he get here? We've had people monitoring all the trains to and from Balamb."
"Well, sir. It seems that there's only one explanation," said Zell.
"And that would be what?"
"He's still here."
"Do you really think that one of our best and most highly trained SeeDs would simply hide out only a matter of minutes away from us? That doesn't make sense, Squall's not foolish."
"I know, Sir, that's why it makes sense," Selphie explained. "You didn't even order a search of Balamb because you thought he'd already have got on a train to Galbadia, so you ordered the search to begin further away. Squall would have known this, and he also would have known of the danger to Rinoa if he travelled to Galbadia. Think about it, Sir. Squall would have known that the safest place to remain, with the least chance of discovery, is right here in Balamb."
"You know, Selphie, I think you might be right," the Headmaster replied, clearly impressed with her reasoning.
"That may be true," added Zell, "but can we really force him to come back. I mean, he's not technically a SeeD anymore is he, so you can't order him back, Sir. And he had every opportunity to stay after he'd killed those soldiers, but he didn't. This time, it was his choice to leave. Don't we have to respect that?"
"That may be. But I believe that he will come back."
"Sir?"
"We have to interpret what happened this as an act of war on the part of Caraway. Squall knows that Rinoa won't be safe until Caraway has been dealt with."
"But, Sir, how do we know that? For all we know, Caraway only ordered Rinoa kidnapped so that he would have an excuse to attack SeeD. There's no evidence that he actually wants her back."
"Then why would he only send a small group of soldiers to attack us? Sure, they could do some damage before they were discovered, but as soon as they were, they'd have every SeeD in Garden onto them and they wouldn't have a chance. No, that wasn't their main attack force, this group had more specific orders."
"You think they came here to take back Rinoa?"
"What other explanation could there be?"
"They might have wanted to kill you, Sir," offered Zell.
"But that wouldn't make any sense. If I were killed, somebody would just take my place. They wouldn't gain anything by it."
"Maybe they were planting explosives?" asked Selphie. "That would make sense wouldn't it? A small group could plant bombs and then just leave. They could destroy Garden on their own."
"I admit that it's a possibility, but so far there hasn't been any evidence of explosives found with the bodies. No, I believe that their only goal could be to retrieve Rinoa, though I can't think why."
"Maybe if we ask her," suggested Irvine.
"Good idea."
"So we order a search of the town then?"
"No, I'm afraid we can't do that. As soon as Caraway finds out about this, he will take action. I will be putting everybody onto security duty. We can't let anything like this happen again. You'll have to find Squall and Rinoa by yourself. Besides, I think it's for the best of we make as little fuss about this as possible. Is everything clear?"
"Yes, Sir," they replied in unison.
When Squall finally made his way back to the hotel, his first thoughts were of Rinoa.
"Is she alright? What on Earth was I thinking, just leaving her here like that? Anything could have happened to her whilst I was away."
After seeing that it was too late to knock on the door and have the hotelier admit him, he began to climb the trellis that lead up to the balcony outside his room. The task, which would usually have been a simple one for Squall, was made more difficult the more he worried about what he might find inside.
To his relief, he found that nobody had entered the room after he had left, and Rinoa was safe, sleeping soundly in her bed. Quietly, he slid open the balcony door, trying not to make so much noise as to wake her. He shut the door behind him and settled himself on the couch. He wasn't able to sleep, however, he just couldn't take his eyes off the sleeping woman. Every breath she took captivated him, and he wished, more than anything that time would just stop and leave them in this place, together.
"For once, I don't have to worry about anything apart from us. I don't have to think about missions, promotions, my duty. Now, my duty is to her, and her alone. From now on, everything I do is for us. No more fighting, no more heartache. Just us."
He didn't know how long he lay there, just watching her, but daylight was streaming through the curtains by the time she opened her eyes.
"You're back," she pointed out sleepily.
He got up off the couch and walked to the edge of the bed. "I'm here," he whispered, stroking her cheek with the palm of his hand.
"Squall?" she muttered, almost fearfully.
"What is it?" he asked, alarmed by the tone of her voice.
"You…you have blood on you. Look at your hands," she screamed.
He looked down and cursed himself for not wearing gloves. His hands were indeed stained crimson with blood, a reminder of the lives that he had taken that night.
"What have you done, Squall?"
He hung his head in shame. "It was to protect you. I had to do it." It was the only explanation he could give.
"I thought this was all over," she wailed. By now she was in tears, and all Squall wanted was to take her in his arms and comfort her, tell her that everything would be alright now. But he couldn't. It would be a lie. He knew that this was far from over. As much as he would like to renounce the outside world and care only for her, he knew it would be almost impossible.
"But I'm willing to try," he thought as he gazed upon the weeping figure of the woman he loved. "I have to for her sake."
"How much longer must this go on?" she asked, despairingly. "When will I just be able to live the life that I want and be free?"
"Soon, Rinoa, soon." He tried to comfort her the best he could. "This is it for me now. No more killing, no more bloodshed. Just you and me, alright?"
"How can you mean that?"
"Please, believe me. This isn't the life I want," he cried out, pointing to the blood that stained him. "I just want to forget about everything and start all over again with you. As soon as Garden lets down its guard at the train station, we'll go somewhere, okay?"
"But where will we go?"
"I don't know. Somewhere far away. Away from Garden, away from Caraway, away from our troubles."
"You mean it."
"Of course I do. It's what I want, Rinoa. I never asked for the life of a mercenary, and now, I've found a reason to leave it behind, to leave everything behind."
"Thank you, Squall. I'm sorry for being upset, it's just that with being so close to Garden, I've been so on nervous and on edge. It just serves as a reminder of all the bad things that have happened to us."
"Well don't worry about it anymore. We're never going back to that place. Never."
A/N: I really am sorry about how long that took to update, I've just not felt able to write for a while. Anyway, please review, and a big thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter:
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