Chapter 7

Programmed to be a spy. Them words going around and around in my head like a stuck record. My life, my choices ultimately maybe not my own. Only one other person within my reach with the experience of what I've been going through, one of the two people I'm having problems with. My sister. Blaming her for what has occurred, but for no apparent reason expect she told me. But she didn't do it to me. Mom was different, she had hand it what happened. She gave them the means to do it.

Nadia heard a knock at the door of her room.

"Nads, can I come in?" Sydney asked

"Do what you want" Nadia replied back to her.

Sydney pushed open the door to her room and walked over and sat on her bed.

"So how are you?"

"Fine" was Nadia's monosyllabic answer.

"I know you're on leave for a while"

"How do you know that?"

"Dixon mentioned it to me, after he dressed me down for keep secrets from the CIA."

"Sorry, about that."

"It's okay. But next time you feel like talking to anyone, don't talk to Barnett. She has a habit of passing on what you say."

"Who else I'm I suppose to talk to?"

"Me, Mom, Vaughn even Dad. We'll be happy to help you."

"Why should I talk to Mom? It's her fault I'm programmed to be a spy."

"No, it's not. She may of giving them the details to create it, but she didn't perform it on you. How could she? She was in hiding from the KGB at the time. If you're going to blame everyone else who was involved, then why don't you blame my dad?"

"Why would I blame Jack? He wasn't involved with the KGB using the project on me?"

"But in a way he is. He designed the project, came up with the idea. Mom was only following orders to gain the information. She never thought that it would be used on her own family. Don't you see? You can't blame just her for what has happened. Everyone has had a hand it. Mom, My Dad even your Dad all have their own hand in it. With both mine and your involvement."

"Why is my Dad involved? He wasn't anything to do with it."

"He was. He was Dad's superior at the CIA. Before he swapped sides. So you see, you can't just blame one person. You have to blame everyone else. So Nadia forgive Mom. She can help you though this. Anyway I don't to lose you as Aunt to this little one. " Sydney said and then looked down towards her bump."

"But I can't talk to her after what I said. I'm blamed everything on her. All my life."

"Mom, understands. You needed time. Just call her, go see her. I'll come with you if you want."

"Okay. Lets do it. I'm going to see Mom"

Both of them stood up and exited the room. Sydney going over to the counter to grab her carkeys.