Hey, all . . . this is my first "O.C." story, so be kind if you can help it. ;) This is just my take on what happened after the finale. Except Seth didn't go dramatically sailing off into the sunset, because that was just too sad for me. It's a little weird . . . but let me know what you think! ;) xoxo, Claire
He hated to see her cry, yet at the same time he didn't want to know why she was doing so. She never cried. There were selective moments of vulnerability or emotional overtake, but they were rare incidents. This had to be something serious; he was quite sure of the fact that he had never seen her quite like this and he worried that he wouldn't be able to help her.
"He'll visit," he offered gently as he stroked her hair. "We'll visit." He didn't understand this. He thought of Ryan's early days and Kirsten's near hatred for him, and he thought of the series of less than satisfactory events following his entrance into their family that made her more and more uneasy of him. It didn't make sense. Kirsten couldn't control her sobs and her shoulders shook. She couldn't explain her feelings, or at least their severity. Images of Seth flooded her mind, images that she had taken care to forget. At eight years old, he sat leaning against her in a similar fashion to how she sat now, crying because a little tribe of girls had made fun of his science project and then a bunch of little boys had destroyed it, setting his pet mice free and stomping the carefully crafted wooden maze that he and Sandy had spent a week of evenings working on. When he was nine, she ditched a charity function to take him to a movie after one of his classmates had a birthday party and invited everyone but him. Just a few years ago he had come home looking miserable and covered with paint and explained cryptically and on the verge of tears, "Just some guys messing around." She thought of all the "sick days" she let him take, usually on the days of class parties and other school-wide social events. She could scarcely breathe and Sandy rubbed her back.
"He's such a good kid," she said softly, calming down. "We have the best kid in the world and Ryan is the only other person his age to ever have seen that."
"Honey..."
"It's my fault," she said hoarsely. "I talked her out of having an abortion because of my own stupid...thing and now two broke seventeen-year- old kids are starting a family. And my son lost his best friend. The first best friend he's ever had in his entire life." He tried to feel for her. And, of course, he did feel for her, he felt horribly for her, but his curiosity got the best of him.
"What stupid thing?" He felt her body go rigid in his arms.
"What? Nothing. I didn't mean...I just meant my emotions. I let my emotions cloud my judgment. I should have been speaking as an adult...as a maternal figure. And I got emotional."
"What aren't you telling me, Kirsten?" He could read her too well. It was a skill he both loved and hated.
"Nothing," she said again.
"You've let your words slip a few too many times today, hon. What's being left out here?" She looked up at him, scared.
"I can't, Sandy."
"You can tell me anything. I thought you did tell me everything. I'm supposed to know everything. I'm pretty sure it's a law." He smiled down at her. "Help me out."
"I should have told you," she whispered.
"Better late than never," he murmured into her hair as he held her. He feared what she would say next.
"Nothing, Sandy. It's really nothing."
"It's clearly not nothing," he replied.
"I just...there were scares. With Jimmy. In high school. I never actually...there were just a few close calls." She forced a smile. "I can just remember how it felt to be so anxious, you know? To have a potentially life-destructing situation on you hands." She studied him, seeming frightened, then took his head in her hands and kissed him. "I'm going to go check on Seth." She stood up and looked back at him. "I love you," she said earnestly with a small smile. "I don't deserve you, Sandy."
He hated to see her cry, yet at the same time he didn't want to know why she was doing so. She never cried. There were selective moments of vulnerability or emotional overtake, but they were rare incidents. This had to be something serious; he was quite sure of the fact that he had never seen her quite like this and he worried that he wouldn't be able to help her.
"He'll visit," he offered gently as he stroked her hair. "We'll visit." He didn't understand this. He thought of Ryan's early days and Kirsten's near hatred for him, and he thought of the series of less than satisfactory events following his entrance into their family that made her more and more uneasy of him. It didn't make sense. Kirsten couldn't control her sobs and her shoulders shook. She couldn't explain her feelings, or at least their severity. Images of Seth flooded her mind, images that she had taken care to forget. At eight years old, he sat leaning against her in a similar fashion to how she sat now, crying because a little tribe of girls had made fun of his science project and then a bunch of little boys had destroyed it, setting his pet mice free and stomping the carefully crafted wooden maze that he and Sandy had spent a week of evenings working on. When he was nine, she ditched a charity function to take him to a movie after one of his classmates had a birthday party and invited everyone but him. Just a few years ago he had come home looking miserable and covered with paint and explained cryptically and on the verge of tears, "Just some guys messing around." She thought of all the "sick days" she let him take, usually on the days of class parties and other school-wide social events. She could scarcely breathe and Sandy rubbed her back.
"He's such a good kid," she said softly, calming down. "We have the best kid in the world and Ryan is the only other person his age to ever have seen that."
"Honey..."
"It's my fault," she said hoarsely. "I talked her out of having an abortion because of my own stupid...thing and now two broke seventeen-year- old kids are starting a family. And my son lost his best friend. The first best friend he's ever had in his entire life." He tried to feel for her. And, of course, he did feel for her, he felt horribly for her, but his curiosity got the best of him.
"What stupid thing?" He felt her body go rigid in his arms.
"What? Nothing. I didn't mean...I just meant my emotions. I let my emotions cloud my judgment. I should have been speaking as an adult...as a maternal figure. And I got emotional."
"What aren't you telling me, Kirsten?" He could read her too well. It was a skill he both loved and hated.
"Nothing," she said again.
"You've let your words slip a few too many times today, hon. What's being left out here?" She looked up at him, scared.
"I can't, Sandy."
"You can tell me anything. I thought you did tell me everything. I'm supposed to know everything. I'm pretty sure it's a law." He smiled down at her. "Help me out."
"I should have told you," she whispered.
"Better late than never," he murmured into her hair as he held her. He feared what she would say next.
"Nothing, Sandy. It's really nothing."
"It's clearly not nothing," he replied.
"I just...there were scares. With Jimmy. In high school. I never actually...there were just a few close calls." She forced a smile. "I can just remember how it felt to be so anxious, you know? To have a potentially life-destructing situation on you hands." She studied him, seeming frightened, then took his head in her hands and kissed him. "I'm going to go check on Seth." She stood up and looked back at him. "I love you," she said earnestly with a small smile. "I don't deserve you, Sandy."