A/N: Thanks a ton to Deagol Smeagol, Taralynna, and The Masked Lau for
your nice reviews! I REALLY appreciated them, despite the fact that others
were not so kind. I have some advice for all of you out there reading my
story. I like constructive criticism, don't get me wrong, but if you're
just going to be mean about it, don't read my story. Or better yet, write
your own. Oh, and I did put in a wedge of cheese, but sorry, you'll have
to wait 'til next time to find out whether Pippin is a mushroom or a
giraffe!
Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR
When Aragorn woke up, he was in a room with white, cushy walls. He glanced down at his hands, and saw that no, they had not been cut off, but they weren't purple either. He was hungry; he realized that he still hadn't gotten his orc meat.
He stood and observed his surroundings a little more. There was a TV, a soda machine (please don't ask me why there was a soda machine) and 7 other beds, each of them full. Except for one. Pippin's.
He looked around and saw that the door was open. He snuck out of it, deciding to go find Pippin. Outside the room it was very different. There was an ugly, brownish-pinkish-purplish, nubbly rug (you know, the kind you would find in an elementary school classroom. The walls were green, with many ugly pictures on them. He walked down the hall, not wanting to be there. He didn't even know why he was looking for Pippin in the first place. He came to a door. The plastic plaque on the wall said 'schizophrenia room.' He didn't really know what that meant. He heard voices coming from inside it, like they were in conversation. A loud, angry conversation. He decided he had better go in. The door creaked open.
"Ach, ssssss," said the meaner-sounding of the two voices. "Look at this, precious! A visitor for usssssssss! We's sooo happy you dropped in! Won't you have a cup of tea?" Aragorn looked at the speaker in horror. It was Gollum, only he wasn't wearing a loincloth. He was wearing a little girl's fairy princess costume. He was sitting at a table, surrounded by little dollies.
"I.... ummmmmm.... I have to go!" said Aragorn. He ran to the door. It was locked. Aragorn cursed under his breath. "What kind of tea do you have?" he asked, unenthusiastically.
"Well..... we has fishy tea (that's what we has,) cheddar tea (that's what Senor Teddy has,) and mushroom tea (that's what Madame Loincloth has!) Aragorn noticed that Madame Loincloth (a very large rag doll) was wearing a loincloth. With, of course, a shirt, too.
"You know, I think I'll just have water. Or better yet, I'll just pass." Smeagol looked a little disappointed, but then smiled again. "Okay! Does you want a biscuit, praps it does?" Aragorn refused.
He kind of felt bad for the little creature. Forced to dress in fairy princess costumes and play tea party with dolls. He was sort of cute, really, like a 500 year old little baby.
"So..." said Aragorn awkwardly. "What do you like to do?"
"Oh, just normal stuffs. Like talk to Gollum." Smeagol pointed at himself.
"Ooooooookay..."
"Does you wants to have a slumber party with us?"
"You know what?" Aragorn said, grimacing nervously. "I can't. I.................... I have to help..... my mother's.... aunt's...... second cousin's....... grandmother............pick blueberries! Tonight! Sorry!" He was about to try to escape again, but then remembered that the door was locked.
"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease? Just a little sleepover? Only one hour?"
"Well," started Aragorn, not wanting to, but feeling obligated to. "I guess so."
"Yay, precious! We can tell secrets and does nails!" Aragorn, not wanting to disappoint the little guy, but not wanting to do nails, said yes to the secrets part.
So, they stayed up all hour talking. Mostly about cheese. They were giggling like little girls, too.
"Hey, Smigi," said Aragorn (Smigi was his nickname for Smeagol.) "I have something to show you! He reached in his slumber party bag and pulled out (duh duh dee duh duh duuuuuuuuuuuuuuh...) The infamous WEDGE OF CHEESE!!! It stunk really badly and had little green patches all over it.
"Muahaha!" said the wedge of cheese. "I'm going to EAT YOU ALL!!!"
"Oh no!" gasped Aragorn and Smeagol, all too dramatically. "Whatever shall we do?"
"Hmmmm... I dunno," replied the wedge of cheese. "But I do have good news." Aragorn and smeagol looked a little relieved. "I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico!"
"Oh, really? I have AIG; how much did you save? Can I offer you a cup of tea?" The three talked about insurance for a long time. Until...
"Uh oh, look at the time!" said the wedge of cheese. "I forgot to eat you! Oh well, better late than never." So, our brave heroes fought the evil infamous wedge of cheese valiantly. After quite a struggle, they won. The wedge of cheese, black- eyed and limping, found its way back to Aragorn's bag, shouting,
"I'll be back! Y'hear?! I'll get you, my pretty!"
Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR
When Aragorn woke up, he was in a room with white, cushy walls. He glanced down at his hands, and saw that no, they had not been cut off, but they weren't purple either. He was hungry; he realized that he still hadn't gotten his orc meat.
He stood and observed his surroundings a little more. There was a TV, a soda machine (please don't ask me why there was a soda machine) and 7 other beds, each of them full. Except for one. Pippin's.
He looked around and saw that the door was open. He snuck out of it, deciding to go find Pippin. Outside the room it was very different. There was an ugly, brownish-pinkish-purplish, nubbly rug (you know, the kind you would find in an elementary school classroom. The walls were green, with many ugly pictures on them. He walked down the hall, not wanting to be there. He didn't even know why he was looking for Pippin in the first place. He came to a door. The plastic plaque on the wall said 'schizophrenia room.' He didn't really know what that meant. He heard voices coming from inside it, like they were in conversation. A loud, angry conversation. He decided he had better go in. The door creaked open.
"Ach, ssssss," said the meaner-sounding of the two voices. "Look at this, precious! A visitor for usssssssss! We's sooo happy you dropped in! Won't you have a cup of tea?" Aragorn looked at the speaker in horror. It was Gollum, only he wasn't wearing a loincloth. He was wearing a little girl's fairy princess costume. He was sitting at a table, surrounded by little dollies.
"I.... ummmmmm.... I have to go!" said Aragorn. He ran to the door. It was locked. Aragorn cursed under his breath. "What kind of tea do you have?" he asked, unenthusiastically.
"Well..... we has fishy tea (that's what we has,) cheddar tea (that's what Senor Teddy has,) and mushroom tea (that's what Madame Loincloth has!) Aragorn noticed that Madame Loincloth (a very large rag doll) was wearing a loincloth. With, of course, a shirt, too.
"You know, I think I'll just have water. Or better yet, I'll just pass." Smeagol looked a little disappointed, but then smiled again. "Okay! Does you want a biscuit, praps it does?" Aragorn refused.
He kind of felt bad for the little creature. Forced to dress in fairy princess costumes and play tea party with dolls. He was sort of cute, really, like a 500 year old little baby.
"So..." said Aragorn awkwardly. "What do you like to do?"
"Oh, just normal stuffs. Like talk to Gollum." Smeagol pointed at himself.
"Ooooooookay..."
"Does you wants to have a slumber party with us?"
"You know what?" Aragorn said, grimacing nervously. "I can't. I.................... I have to help..... my mother's.... aunt's...... second cousin's....... grandmother............pick blueberries! Tonight! Sorry!" He was about to try to escape again, but then remembered that the door was locked.
"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease? Just a little sleepover? Only one hour?"
"Well," started Aragorn, not wanting to, but feeling obligated to. "I guess so."
"Yay, precious! We can tell secrets and does nails!" Aragorn, not wanting to disappoint the little guy, but not wanting to do nails, said yes to the secrets part.
So, they stayed up all hour talking. Mostly about cheese. They were giggling like little girls, too.
"Hey, Smigi," said Aragorn (Smigi was his nickname for Smeagol.) "I have something to show you! He reached in his slumber party bag and pulled out (duh duh dee duh duh duuuuuuuuuuuuuuh...) The infamous WEDGE OF CHEESE!!! It stunk really badly and had little green patches all over it.
"Muahaha!" said the wedge of cheese. "I'm going to EAT YOU ALL!!!"
"Oh no!" gasped Aragorn and Smeagol, all too dramatically. "Whatever shall we do?"
"Hmmmm... I dunno," replied the wedge of cheese. "But I do have good news." Aragorn and smeagol looked a little relieved. "I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico!"
"Oh, really? I have AIG; how much did you save? Can I offer you a cup of tea?" The three talked about insurance for a long time. Until...
"Uh oh, look at the time!" said the wedge of cheese. "I forgot to eat you! Oh well, better late than never." So, our brave heroes fought the evil infamous wedge of cheese valiantly. After quite a struggle, they won. The wedge of cheese, black- eyed and limping, found its way back to Aragorn's bag, shouting,
"I'll be back! Y'hear?! I'll get you, my pretty!"