Disclaimers: Once again, I don't own any of this stuff here. Rockstar owns
Max Payne, and MTV Networks own The Real World, so don't sue, guys.
This is still a work of fiction. Any similarities... yadda, yadda, yadda... are purely coincidental.
A/N: I FINALLY beat MP2 on the Dead on Arrival mode, and got the second ending!!!
And now, episode III of Max Payne and Co. present...
The Real World
Max: This is the story...
Mona: of seven strangers...
Vladimir: picked to live in a house...
Vinnie: and have their lives taped.
Winterson: Find out what happens...
Annie: when people stop being polite...
Kaufman: and start being real...
Everyone: The Real World: New...
Max: (interrupting) Stop! Wait! Hold it! Who are you?
Kaufman: Kaufman.
Max: What are you doing here? Where's Mike?
MTV Producer: (a little drunk) Okay, okay. I forgot to tell you. This is Kaufman. He'll be replacing Mike. Mike's dead.
Everyone: What!? Mike's dead!? How!?
MTV Producer: Some of our crew members found him upstairs early this morning. He had been shot nine times.
Vinnie: (looks around nervously) So, uhh, who do they think did it... exactly?
MTV Producer: No one's sure, but they think it was over a disagreement over music. The cops found a smashed stereo and several broken Country & Western CDs next to the body.
Annie: (sobbing) Oh my god. Mike.
Mona: He was such a nice guy.
Max: Mike was a good guy, and now he's dead. I guess the good really do die young. They're like gold in this city.
Mona: Max, knock it off with the metaphors. Now is not the time.
Max: Sorry.
Annie: (still sobbing) Oh my god. Mike.
(Vinnie puts his arm around Annie.)
Vinnie: It's all right, Annie. I'm here.
Annie: (pushing Vinnie) Get away from me, Vinnie!
Vinnie: What? What did I do? I'm just trying to...
Annie: Bulls(bleep)t! I'll bet you killed Mike! You did, didn't you!?
Vinnie: No! No! I didn't. Honest.
Annie: You always hated Mike! And you were jealous of us! You couldn't wait to get rid of him and break us up!
Vinnie: I NEVER wanted to kill him! I didn't...
Max: Annie. Annie! I know you're upset, but now's not the time to take it out on the others.
Vladimir: Max is right, Annie. I know Mike is dead, and we're all saddened, but the show must go on.
Winterson: Right. You gotta pull yourself together.
Annie: (holding back her tears) All right. All right. I'll do it, for Mike.
Mona: That's the ticket, Annie. (as the rest of the group goes to do their stuff) By the way, nice to meet you, Kaufman.
Kaufman: Hello.
(The house, early afternoon)
(Vladimir, Winterson, and Vinnie are on the sofa, watching TV, Mona is practicing Tae-Bo, Annie is in the kitchen, and Max and Kaufman are playing dominoes.)
Kaufman: (slaps down a domino) Ten. I win.
Max: Damn, you're good. Where'd you learn to play dominoes like that?
Kaufman: Picked it up.
Max: Oh, I see.
Max: (confessional) That Kaufman guy's a little spooky. He's rather quiet – too quiet. A silent mouth always hides a dark secret.
Winterson: Hey Mona. Could you move a little? We can't see the TV?
Mona: (sighs) Yeah, fine. (Moves over a little, then continues to practice her Tae-Bo.)
Winterson: Mona!? We still can't hear.
Mona: Well, sorry. I still gotta practice and stay in shape. Maybe you should try it.
Winterson: Yeah, maybe I should. I don't get to burn off all this fat sleeping around.
Mona: That's it! You want a piece of this, b(bleep)ch!?
Winterson: I'll take the whole thing, you c(bleep)t!
(Mona slaps Winterson hard across the face. Winterson comes back with a right hook. The two lock themselves into a brawl to end all brawls.)
Vladimir: Winterson, stop!
Vinnie: Get her, Mona. Get her!
(Mona and Winterson continue to fight. They crash into the small table where Max and Kaufman are playing , knocking it over and spilling the dominoes.)
Max: Dammit, you two! I was winning!
Kaufman: Bummer.
(Vladimir and Max go over to break up the fight. Max pulls Mona away, while Vladimir takes Winterson.)
Mona: (struggling) You f(bleep)ing b(bleep)ch! F(bleep)k you!
Winterson: (also struggling) You come near me or Vlad again and you'll get another ass-whipping, slut!
(Annie comes running out of the kitchen.)
Annie: What the hell's going on?
Max: Nothing. Go back in the kitchen. Nothing to see here.
Annie: Then what's with all the damn yelling?
Vinnie: (chuckling) Mona and Winterson got into this huge fight. Mona was about to kick her ass, too.
Max: Knock it off, Vinnie. Mona. What is wrong with you?
Mona: That b(bleep)ch over there started it. I'm sick of her constant snide remarks about me.
Winterson: If the shoe fits...
Vladimir: Winterson! You shouldn't have insulted Mona. That was uncalled for.
Winterson: You're taking her side?
Vladimir: Yes. You were out of line talking to her like that.
Winterson: Well, it's not my fault if the truth hurts.
Mona: I DO NOT SLEEP AROUND, DAMMIT!!
Max: Stop it, Mona!! You were out of line too, losing it like that!
Mona: Well, what am I supposed to do when she keeps shooting off her big mouth like that?
Vladimir: That's right, Max. She's tired of always being cut down.
Max: Well, she still shouldn't have done what she did. She ruined my domino game, and I was winning!
Mona: Well, so sorry we ruined your precious domino game. I'll try to schedule my crises so they won't interfere with your domino game.
Kaufman: Thank you.
Vinnie: And for your information, Winterson, Mona does not sleep with every guy. She ain't slept with me.
Mona: Shut up, Vinnie.
Vladimir: Yeah, Vinnie.
Vinnie: What? I'm on your side, Mona.
Annie: A'right, let's all just calm down and be cool, a'right? Mona, you should go cool off in your room; Winterson, go cool off in yours. Everyone else stay in the living room. I'll have lunch ready in about an hour, and we can all eat then, a'right?
Mona: Yeah, sure. (Goes up to her room)
Winterson: Fine. (Goes to her room)
Mona: (confessional) I guess I shouldn't have blown up at Winterson like that. But I'm just sick and tired of her constant remarks at my expense. I am not a slut.
Winterson: (confessional) Maybe I shouldn't have made that comment toward Mona, but the way she acts, the way she dresses... I'm concerned that she's gonna steal Vlad away. I don't know... maybe I should apologize to her anyway for that comment.
(The house, one hour later)
Annie: Guys, lunch is ready!
(Everyone comes pouring into the kitchen, where spaghetti and store-bought oven-baked breadsticks are waiting. On the way down, Mona and Winterson see each other.)
Mona: Hey.
Winterson: Hey.
Mona: Look, I'm sorry I blew up at you like that.
Winterson: No, it's okay. I shouldn't have made that nasty remark toward you. Friends? (holds out her hand)
Mona: Friends. (shakes it)
(The two join the others in the dining room.)
Annie: Hey, yaw. You two okay?
Mona: Yeah, we made up.
Winterson: Yeah, that's right. We did.
Vladimir: Hey, that's great.
Max: All right.
(While everyone is eating...)
Mona: So, what club will we be going to tonight?
Vinnie: Hey, let's go karaokying again.
(Annie starts sobbing.)
Vinnie: Oh, sorry Annie. Sorry.
(Kaufman has a slightly dumbfounded look on his face.)
Max: Long story. Has to do with Mike.
(Kaufman nods.)
Vinnie: Oh, I know! There's this great jazz club in Soho. I know the owner and most of the guys that work there. I could get us in, no problem. Whaddya guys say?
Kaufman: Cool.
Winterson: You're a man of words, Kaufman.
Mona: Hey, I'm with Kaufman. I like jazz.
Winterson: Y'know, for once I agree with Mona. I listen to jazz quite a bit.
Max: I'll go too.
Vladimir: Me too.
Annie: Yeah, jazz is cool.
Vinnie: Wow, we're all in agreement for a change. Well, I guess it's, ah, how ya put it... unanimous.
(Angelo's Jazz Club, Soho, that evening)
(We see the gang getting out of the van. They go up and get in line to get into the club. After a while, they get to the door, where the bouncer is working. It's Frankie "the Bat" Niagara, from MP1. He has his trademark baseball bat by his side. He checks everyone's ID, which everyone has with them but Mona.)
Mona: Look, uh, I don't have my ID with me. I think I may have left it in my other purse, but I'm with Vinnie.
Frankie: Look, I don't care who you say you're with. Y'ain't gettin' in witout ID.
Mona: Look, I'm over 21. Honest. Ask anyone here.
Vladimir: Yes, she really is over 21.
Frankie: I don't care. If she ain't got her ID to prove it, she ain't gettin' in.
Annie: Look, couldn't you just make an exception this once?
Frankie: No. Last time I did, the cops came in. They found out and nearly shut us down, and I nearly lost my job.
Vinnie: Hey, Frankie...
Frankie: Vinnie. How ya been?
Vinnie: I'm good. Listen, Frankie, I know the position you're in, but I know Mona, and she really is over 21, so if you could just let her in with us this once, I promise no one will tell anyone. C'mon, Frankie. Do your old buddy a favor.
Frankie: I dunno. I still don't think I should.
Vinnie: Y'know, you still owe me a favor. Remember who got you those tickets to the Captain Baseball Bat Boy Convention last year?
Frankie: Yeah.
Vinnie: And you remember what I had to go through to get 'em?
Frankie: Yeah, I remember.
Vinnie: And remember you said, "Vinnie, my hero. If I can ever repay you for this, just let me know, and I'll do it."
Frankie: I didn't say, "My hero."
Vinnie: Yeah, whatever. But don't you think you should keep that promise, and let Mona in, just this once?
(Frankie looks around, then thinks for a second.)
Frankie: All right, go on. (moves the rope to let the group in, including Mona.)
Vinnie: Thanks, Frankie.
Mona: Thanks, Frankie.
Frankie: Yeah, yeah, just remember, you promised not to tell anyone I did this.
Vinnie: (smiling) Did what?
Frankie: Good answer.
(Frankie returns to his duties as the gang walks in. Inside the club, we see many people seated either around the tables or at the bar. At the front, on stage, we see a live band performing. It's the Trio, also from MP1. Pilot Providence, "Big Brother," is on drums, Joe Salem is on the bass, and Vince Mugnaio is singing/playing piano. They are currently performing "Fly Me to the Moon," by Sinatra. The gang quickly finds a table.)
Vinnie: All right. What does everyone want to drink?
Vladimir: White Russian.
Mona: I'll have a Piña Colada.
Winterson: I'll have a White Russian.
Annie: I'll have a Long Island Iced Tea.
Max: I think I'll have a Corona.
Vinnie: Okay, what about you, Kaufman?
Kaufman: Coors.
Vinnie: All right. Hey, Payne, can you help me carry the drinks?
Max: Sure, Vinnie.
(Vinnie and Max walk over to the bar and get the bartender's attention. The bartender is Jack Lupino, from MP1 as well.)
Lupino: Heyyy, Vinnie. Long time, no see, buddy. What'll it be?
Vinnie: Hey, Jack. I'll have my usual, and I also need two White Russians, a Piña Colada, a Long Island Iced Tea, a Corona, and a Coors.
Lupino: Right.
(Lupino goes over and makes the drinks. He comes back in a few minutes with all the drinks that the others ordered, plus a weird red & white mixed drink, which Vinnie promptly takes a sip of.)
Lupino: There ya go, Vinnie. One Captain Baseball Bat Boy, and all the other drinks for your friends. That'll be $35.75.
(Vinnie pays Lupino.)
Vinnie: Thanks, Jack.
Lupino: Thank you, Vinnie. (to Max) Hey, nice coat, buddy.
Max: Thanks.
(Max helps Vinnie carry the drinks back to the table.)
Vinnie: Here ya go, fellas.
Mona: Thanks for bringing us here, Vinnie. This place is nice.
Vinnie: (trying to act cool) My pleasure, Mona.
Winterson: This is a great place, Vinnie.
Vinnie: Thanks, Winterson. Everyone else like it okay?
Vladimir: Yes, thanks, Vinnie.
Annie: It's pretty trippin'.
Max: It's an eternal happy hour here.
Vinnie: Uhh, yeah, thanks, Payne. What about you, Kaufman?
Kaufman: Cool.
(The Trio starts to play a jazzy version of "The Piña Colada Song," by Rupert Holmes.)
Mona: Ha! How funny is this? I order a Piña Colada, and the band starts playing this song.
Vinnie: Yeah, Mona, that is pretty funny.
(The two giggle. While they are giggling, they catch a glimpse of each other's eyes. They stare into each other's eyes for a long moment, until...)
Max: Hey, Mona. What do you think of the music?
Mona: (a little irritated) It's fine. It's just fine, thank you very much.
Max: (oblivious) Good. Glad you like it.
Mona: (confessional) Oh my god! I can't believe I was actually starting to feel attracted to Vinnie. What was it? Oh sure, he got me in when I forgot my ID, and he got me that Piña Colada. Maybe it was the song. Or maybe he was in the right place at the right time. Whatever it is, this is just way too weird.
Vinnie: (confessional) Oh yeah, she wants me now. I told you I was gonna hook up with somebody on this trip. It's only a matter of time before Mona falls under my spell.
MTV Announcer: Coming up, on the next episode of "The Real World"... the gang finds out more about Mike's untimely death... and does the gang actually get two words out of Kaufman... Stay tuned for more.
As always, any R&R's are more than welcome. And there is still more on the way, so stay tuned...
This is still a work of fiction. Any similarities... yadda, yadda, yadda... are purely coincidental.
A/N: I FINALLY beat MP2 on the Dead on Arrival mode, and got the second ending!!!
And now, episode III of Max Payne and Co. present...
The Real World
Max: This is the story...
Mona: of seven strangers...
Vladimir: picked to live in a house...
Vinnie: and have their lives taped.
Winterson: Find out what happens...
Annie: when people stop being polite...
Kaufman: and start being real...
Everyone: The Real World: New...
Max: (interrupting) Stop! Wait! Hold it! Who are you?
Kaufman: Kaufman.
Max: What are you doing here? Where's Mike?
MTV Producer: (a little drunk) Okay, okay. I forgot to tell you. This is Kaufman. He'll be replacing Mike. Mike's dead.
Everyone: What!? Mike's dead!? How!?
MTV Producer: Some of our crew members found him upstairs early this morning. He had been shot nine times.
Vinnie: (looks around nervously) So, uhh, who do they think did it... exactly?
MTV Producer: No one's sure, but they think it was over a disagreement over music. The cops found a smashed stereo and several broken Country & Western CDs next to the body.
Annie: (sobbing) Oh my god. Mike.
Mona: He was such a nice guy.
Max: Mike was a good guy, and now he's dead. I guess the good really do die young. They're like gold in this city.
Mona: Max, knock it off with the metaphors. Now is not the time.
Max: Sorry.
Annie: (still sobbing) Oh my god. Mike.
(Vinnie puts his arm around Annie.)
Vinnie: It's all right, Annie. I'm here.
Annie: (pushing Vinnie) Get away from me, Vinnie!
Vinnie: What? What did I do? I'm just trying to...
Annie: Bulls(bleep)t! I'll bet you killed Mike! You did, didn't you!?
Vinnie: No! No! I didn't. Honest.
Annie: You always hated Mike! And you were jealous of us! You couldn't wait to get rid of him and break us up!
Vinnie: I NEVER wanted to kill him! I didn't...
Max: Annie. Annie! I know you're upset, but now's not the time to take it out on the others.
Vladimir: Max is right, Annie. I know Mike is dead, and we're all saddened, but the show must go on.
Winterson: Right. You gotta pull yourself together.
Annie: (holding back her tears) All right. All right. I'll do it, for Mike.
Mona: That's the ticket, Annie. (as the rest of the group goes to do their stuff) By the way, nice to meet you, Kaufman.
Kaufman: Hello.
(The house, early afternoon)
(Vladimir, Winterson, and Vinnie are on the sofa, watching TV, Mona is practicing Tae-Bo, Annie is in the kitchen, and Max and Kaufman are playing dominoes.)
Kaufman: (slaps down a domino) Ten. I win.
Max: Damn, you're good. Where'd you learn to play dominoes like that?
Kaufman: Picked it up.
Max: Oh, I see.
Max: (confessional) That Kaufman guy's a little spooky. He's rather quiet – too quiet. A silent mouth always hides a dark secret.
Winterson: Hey Mona. Could you move a little? We can't see the TV?
Mona: (sighs) Yeah, fine. (Moves over a little, then continues to practice her Tae-Bo.)
Winterson: Mona!? We still can't hear.
Mona: Well, sorry. I still gotta practice and stay in shape. Maybe you should try it.
Winterson: Yeah, maybe I should. I don't get to burn off all this fat sleeping around.
Mona: That's it! You want a piece of this, b(bleep)ch!?
Winterson: I'll take the whole thing, you c(bleep)t!
(Mona slaps Winterson hard across the face. Winterson comes back with a right hook. The two lock themselves into a brawl to end all brawls.)
Vladimir: Winterson, stop!
Vinnie: Get her, Mona. Get her!
(Mona and Winterson continue to fight. They crash into the small table where Max and Kaufman are playing , knocking it over and spilling the dominoes.)
Max: Dammit, you two! I was winning!
Kaufman: Bummer.
(Vladimir and Max go over to break up the fight. Max pulls Mona away, while Vladimir takes Winterson.)
Mona: (struggling) You f(bleep)ing b(bleep)ch! F(bleep)k you!
Winterson: (also struggling) You come near me or Vlad again and you'll get another ass-whipping, slut!
(Annie comes running out of the kitchen.)
Annie: What the hell's going on?
Max: Nothing. Go back in the kitchen. Nothing to see here.
Annie: Then what's with all the damn yelling?
Vinnie: (chuckling) Mona and Winterson got into this huge fight. Mona was about to kick her ass, too.
Max: Knock it off, Vinnie. Mona. What is wrong with you?
Mona: That b(bleep)ch over there started it. I'm sick of her constant snide remarks about me.
Winterson: If the shoe fits...
Vladimir: Winterson! You shouldn't have insulted Mona. That was uncalled for.
Winterson: You're taking her side?
Vladimir: Yes. You were out of line talking to her like that.
Winterson: Well, it's not my fault if the truth hurts.
Mona: I DO NOT SLEEP AROUND, DAMMIT!!
Max: Stop it, Mona!! You were out of line too, losing it like that!
Mona: Well, what am I supposed to do when she keeps shooting off her big mouth like that?
Vladimir: That's right, Max. She's tired of always being cut down.
Max: Well, she still shouldn't have done what she did. She ruined my domino game, and I was winning!
Mona: Well, so sorry we ruined your precious domino game. I'll try to schedule my crises so they won't interfere with your domino game.
Kaufman: Thank you.
Vinnie: And for your information, Winterson, Mona does not sleep with every guy. She ain't slept with me.
Mona: Shut up, Vinnie.
Vladimir: Yeah, Vinnie.
Vinnie: What? I'm on your side, Mona.
Annie: A'right, let's all just calm down and be cool, a'right? Mona, you should go cool off in your room; Winterson, go cool off in yours. Everyone else stay in the living room. I'll have lunch ready in about an hour, and we can all eat then, a'right?
Mona: Yeah, sure. (Goes up to her room)
Winterson: Fine. (Goes to her room)
Mona: (confessional) I guess I shouldn't have blown up at Winterson like that. But I'm just sick and tired of her constant remarks at my expense. I am not a slut.
Winterson: (confessional) Maybe I shouldn't have made that comment toward Mona, but the way she acts, the way she dresses... I'm concerned that she's gonna steal Vlad away. I don't know... maybe I should apologize to her anyway for that comment.
(The house, one hour later)
Annie: Guys, lunch is ready!
(Everyone comes pouring into the kitchen, where spaghetti and store-bought oven-baked breadsticks are waiting. On the way down, Mona and Winterson see each other.)
Mona: Hey.
Winterson: Hey.
Mona: Look, I'm sorry I blew up at you like that.
Winterson: No, it's okay. I shouldn't have made that nasty remark toward you. Friends? (holds out her hand)
Mona: Friends. (shakes it)
(The two join the others in the dining room.)
Annie: Hey, yaw. You two okay?
Mona: Yeah, we made up.
Winterson: Yeah, that's right. We did.
Vladimir: Hey, that's great.
Max: All right.
(While everyone is eating...)
Mona: So, what club will we be going to tonight?
Vinnie: Hey, let's go karaokying again.
(Annie starts sobbing.)
Vinnie: Oh, sorry Annie. Sorry.
(Kaufman has a slightly dumbfounded look on his face.)
Max: Long story. Has to do with Mike.
(Kaufman nods.)
Vinnie: Oh, I know! There's this great jazz club in Soho. I know the owner and most of the guys that work there. I could get us in, no problem. Whaddya guys say?
Kaufman: Cool.
Winterson: You're a man of words, Kaufman.
Mona: Hey, I'm with Kaufman. I like jazz.
Winterson: Y'know, for once I agree with Mona. I listen to jazz quite a bit.
Max: I'll go too.
Vladimir: Me too.
Annie: Yeah, jazz is cool.
Vinnie: Wow, we're all in agreement for a change. Well, I guess it's, ah, how ya put it... unanimous.
(Angelo's Jazz Club, Soho, that evening)
(We see the gang getting out of the van. They go up and get in line to get into the club. After a while, they get to the door, where the bouncer is working. It's Frankie "the Bat" Niagara, from MP1. He has his trademark baseball bat by his side. He checks everyone's ID, which everyone has with them but Mona.)
Mona: Look, uh, I don't have my ID with me. I think I may have left it in my other purse, but I'm with Vinnie.
Frankie: Look, I don't care who you say you're with. Y'ain't gettin' in witout ID.
Mona: Look, I'm over 21. Honest. Ask anyone here.
Vladimir: Yes, she really is over 21.
Frankie: I don't care. If she ain't got her ID to prove it, she ain't gettin' in.
Annie: Look, couldn't you just make an exception this once?
Frankie: No. Last time I did, the cops came in. They found out and nearly shut us down, and I nearly lost my job.
Vinnie: Hey, Frankie...
Frankie: Vinnie. How ya been?
Vinnie: I'm good. Listen, Frankie, I know the position you're in, but I know Mona, and she really is over 21, so if you could just let her in with us this once, I promise no one will tell anyone. C'mon, Frankie. Do your old buddy a favor.
Frankie: I dunno. I still don't think I should.
Vinnie: Y'know, you still owe me a favor. Remember who got you those tickets to the Captain Baseball Bat Boy Convention last year?
Frankie: Yeah.
Vinnie: And you remember what I had to go through to get 'em?
Frankie: Yeah, I remember.
Vinnie: And remember you said, "Vinnie, my hero. If I can ever repay you for this, just let me know, and I'll do it."
Frankie: I didn't say, "My hero."
Vinnie: Yeah, whatever. But don't you think you should keep that promise, and let Mona in, just this once?
(Frankie looks around, then thinks for a second.)
Frankie: All right, go on. (moves the rope to let the group in, including Mona.)
Vinnie: Thanks, Frankie.
Mona: Thanks, Frankie.
Frankie: Yeah, yeah, just remember, you promised not to tell anyone I did this.
Vinnie: (smiling) Did what?
Frankie: Good answer.
(Frankie returns to his duties as the gang walks in. Inside the club, we see many people seated either around the tables or at the bar. At the front, on stage, we see a live band performing. It's the Trio, also from MP1. Pilot Providence, "Big Brother," is on drums, Joe Salem is on the bass, and Vince Mugnaio is singing/playing piano. They are currently performing "Fly Me to the Moon," by Sinatra. The gang quickly finds a table.)
Vinnie: All right. What does everyone want to drink?
Vladimir: White Russian.
Mona: I'll have a Piña Colada.
Winterson: I'll have a White Russian.
Annie: I'll have a Long Island Iced Tea.
Max: I think I'll have a Corona.
Vinnie: Okay, what about you, Kaufman?
Kaufman: Coors.
Vinnie: All right. Hey, Payne, can you help me carry the drinks?
Max: Sure, Vinnie.
(Vinnie and Max walk over to the bar and get the bartender's attention. The bartender is Jack Lupino, from MP1 as well.)
Lupino: Heyyy, Vinnie. Long time, no see, buddy. What'll it be?
Vinnie: Hey, Jack. I'll have my usual, and I also need two White Russians, a Piña Colada, a Long Island Iced Tea, a Corona, and a Coors.
Lupino: Right.
(Lupino goes over and makes the drinks. He comes back in a few minutes with all the drinks that the others ordered, plus a weird red & white mixed drink, which Vinnie promptly takes a sip of.)
Lupino: There ya go, Vinnie. One Captain Baseball Bat Boy, and all the other drinks for your friends. That'll be $35.75.
(Vinnie pays Lupino.)
Vinnie: Thanks, Jack.
Lupino: Thank you, Vinnie. (to Max) Hey, nice coat, buddy.
Max: Thanks.
(Max helps Vinnie carry the drinks back to the table.)
Vinnie: Here ya go, fellas.
Mona: Thanks for bringing us here, Vinnie. This place is nice.
Vinnie: (trying to act cool) My pleasure, Mona.
Winterson: This is a great place, Vinnie.
Vinnie: Thanks, Winterson. Everyone else like it okay?
Vladimir: Yes, thanks, Vinnie.
Annie: It's pretty trippin'.
Max: It's an eternal happy hour here.
Vinnie: Uhh, yeah, thanks, Payne. What about you, Kaufman?
Kaufman: Cool.
(The Trio starts to play a jazzy version of "The Piña Colada Song," by Rupert Holmes.)
Mona: Ha! How funny is this? I order a Piña Colada, and the band starts playing this song.
Vinnie: Yeah, Mona, that is pretty funny.
(The two giggle. While they are giggling, they catch a glimpse of each other's eyes. They stare into each other's eyes for a long moment, until...)
Max: Hey, Mona. What do you think of the music?
Mona: (a little irritated) It's fine. It's just fine, thank you very much.
Max: (oblivious) Good. Glad you like it.
Mona: (confessional) Oh my god! I can't believe I was actually starting to feel attracted to Vinnie. What was it? Oh sure, he got me in when I forgot my ID, and he got me that Piña Colada. Maybe it was the song. Or maybe he was in the right place at the right time. Whatever it is, this is just way too weird.
Vinnie: (confessional) Oh yeah, she wants me now. I told you I was gonna hook up with somebody on this trip. It's only a matter of time before Mona falls under my spell.
MTV Announcer: Coming up, on the next episode of "The Real World"... the gang finds out more about Mike's untimely death... and does the gang actually get two words out of Kaufman... Stay tuned for more.
As always, any R&R's are more than welcome. And there is still more on the way, so stay tuned...