Disclaimers: I don't own Max Payne, The Real World, or anything that has
anything to do with the two. Rockstar owns Max Payne, MTV Networks owns
The Real World.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to ANYONE or ANYTHING are purely coincidental.
And now... Episode IV of Max Payne & Co. present...
The Real World
Annie: This is the story...
Kaufman: of seven strangers...
Vinnie: picked to live in a house...
Winterson: and have their lives taped.
Vladimir: Find out what happens...
Mona: when people stop being polite...
Max: and start being real...
Everyone: The Real World: New York.
(Annie, Vinnie, and Kaufman's room, morning)
(We see Annie in the room alone, dressed head-to-toe in black, funeral-type clothing. She is listening to some of Mike's Country & Western CDs, and sobbing a little. Max comes in momentarily, wearing a dark suit under his black leather trench coat.)
Max: Annie, we need to get going. We don't want to be late to the funeral.
Annie: (teary-eyed) All right. (Goes to turn off CD player)
Max: How are you holding up, Annie?
Annie: Fine, I guess.
Max: He was a good guy, wasn't he?
Annie: Yes, he was.
Max: I miss him.
Annie: Me too.
(Vinnie and Kaufman show up)
Vinnie: C'mon, let's go. We're gonna be late.
Annie: All right, for chrissakes! I'm comin'!
Max: Hey guys, she's still a bit upset. Just give us one more minute.
Kaufman: Okay.
(Kaufman and Vinnie leave)
Max: Annie, I know you're upset, and you probably don't want to go through this, but Mike is dead. We have to go and bury him. It's what he would have wanted.
Annie: I know. It's just... I still think Vinnie killed him.
Max: Now Annie, don't start that again. There's no evidence of that.
Annie: Broken CDs by his body. Vinnie's jealousy of us. His dislike for Mike and his music. Who else could it be?
Max: Look, I know Vinnie and Mike weren't the best of friends, but it doesn't mean that Vinnie killed him. I think that you just need to calm down and come bury Mike. You're upset and you want to find someone to blame, but none of this is helping. It won't bring him back – believe me, I know. You've gotta let it go and let Mike go. Mike would say the same thing.
Annie: (holding back tears) All right. I'll be okay.
Max: That's the ticket. Now let's go, while we still have time.
(The funeral home, morning)
(The whole gang enters and makes their way to the front pews, which have been reserved for them. They all sit and wait for the service to begin. At the front of the chapel is the coffin, with a picture of Mike and some flowers on a small table beside it. The coffin is completely closed. Kaufman is still wearing his baseball cap when he sits down.)
Mona: (thumps Kaufman on the head) Take off your hat, you dumb hick. We're at a funeral.
Kaufman: Sorry. (removes his hat)
(The chaplain soon takes the stand and the funeral begins.)
Chaplain: We are gathered here today to pay our final respects to Mike the Cowboy. Mike was a good man who made it a point in his life to make people happy. He touched everyone around him. While he will be missed in this world, we must all remember that he is in a much better world now. He is in a place where all his kindness, all his goodness will be well rewarded. We must also remember that someday, we will be reunited with Mike in that better place.
And now, some of Mike's friends will each say something about him.
(Annie takes the stand first.)
Annie: (sobbing) I first met Mike when we shared a limo. He was quite a different man then I was used to. But as I got to know him, I found out how sweet that man was. Some of the best moments of my life were shared with him in the short time that I knew him. He opened my eyes to so many new and different things – things that I never would have discovered without him. Every time he was near, I couldn't help but smile. And now he's gone. I know that he's in a better place, but what I wouldn't give to be sitting with him listening to his Country & Western CD collection once again.
(The congregation says "Amen" as Annie takes her seat. Max then goes up to speak.)
Max: Like a black cat on a snowy mountain top, Mike was a very different man. And he didn't care. He wasn't afraid to be himself, wasn't afraid of what others thought. That's what made him such a genuine person. But he didn't separate himself from the others either. He made an effort to share his likes, his tastes, his unique perspectives with others. Like the portal to another universe, he opened our eyes to so many new things in life. And he wouldn't let us leave until we were happy. Mike, you touched all our lives. And we'll never forget you.
("Amen's" from the congregation as Max sits down. Vinnie goes up next.)
Vinnie: Mike and I didn't exactly see eye-to-eye. But Mike at least made an effort to be friends with me. And he offered to share his passions with me. I should have been more open-minded with him. I shouldn't have let my petty jealousy come between a possible friendship with such a good man. Mike, if you can hear me right now... I'm sorry. I really do wish that I'd a' reached out to ya more.
("Amen's" from everyone but Annie, who still thinks Vinnie whacked Mike. Vinnie sits down; Mona goes up.)
Mona: Mike was the most easygoing guy I had ever met. He could see the good in anything. Not only did he open our eyes to new things, but he was also always willing to try things that were new to him. Whether we were skydiving or singing together or just hanging out together, Mike would always find a way to brighten our lives in some small way. I don't know what Heaven is like, but I hope Mike finds it a peaceful place, just like the open prairie that he always wanted to live on.
(The congregation "Amen's" as Mona sits. Vladimir goes up next.)
Vladimir: I could write a book listing all the reasons that I will miss Mike. He is leaving a big, empty void that no one will ever be able to fill. It didn't matter how bad one of us would be feeling. Whenever Mike was around, we would all be smiling again, forgetting whatever it was that was dragging us down. He touched us all, and expected nothing in return. If more people in this world would follow Mike's lead, the world would be so much better... Good-bye, Mike. I hope that wherever you are, you are richly blessed for all your kindness and generosity.
(Vladimir sits among more "Amen's" from the congregation. Winterson goes up next.)
Winterson: Mike had such a pleasant nature about him that spread across our group like wildfire. He could put up with any one of us and all our faults. He never judged anyone of us for being different from him, but always gave us the benefit of the doubt. This was evident whenever anyone wanted to do something that he had never done before. He went into it with a positive attitude. If everyone was half as positive-thinking as Mike was, so much more things would be accomplished in this world. Mike, I hope that we and the rest of the world can come to look at things like you did, and make you proud.
("Amen's" as Winterson sits down. To the surprise of everyone, Kaufman goes up to say a few words.)
Kaufman: I liked Mike, and Mike liked me.
("Amen's" as Kaufman sits down. The chaplain goes up now.)
Chaplain: Does anyone else have anything to say?
(No one responds.)
Chaplain: Then let us all go out into the world, taking the memory of Mike with us, but remembering that Mike is now in a better place, and is watching us. Amen.
(Everyone repeats "Amen," and exits the building, each person passing by the coffin to say one last good-bye to Mike.)
(The house, early afternoon)
(The gang enters. Everyone else goes into the living room and sits down. Vinnie goes up to his room. Mona follows him.)
Mona: Vinnie?
Vinnie: Oh, hey, Mona. Good service, huh?
Mona: Yes, it was. I just wanted to say... that that was a beautiful speech you gave today.
Vinnie: Oh, uh, thanks, Mona.
(Vinnie walks over to a chest of drawers to take off his tie. When he sets it down, he accidentally knocks off his knapsack, which is unzipped.)
Mona: Oh, here, I'll get that.
Vinnie: (nervously) No, no, no, it's okay, let me get it.
Mona: No, please, I'll get it.
(Vinnie picks it up, and accidentally reveals a .50AE Desert Eagle handgun, which has fallen out of the knapsack. He quickly notices and stuffs it back in, but Mona has seen it too.)
Mona: Vinnie... what the hell?
Vinnie: What?
Mona: What are you doing with that gun in your bag?
Vinnie: What gun?
Mona: "What gun?" The gun that just fell out of your bag. Why are you carrying a gun?
Vinnie: Well, ah... for protection. Good thing I have it too, with what happened to Mike.
(Mona doesn't seem convinced.)
Vinnie: What? I come from a rough neighborhood. I'm always packin'. If you don't pack, you're dead. That's the sad truth.
(Mona starts to walk away.)
Vinnie: Mona? Mona, come on... There's no need to tell anyone about this. I just carry it for protection. I'm not out to hurt anybody. Come on, you'll just make everyone nervous and edgy. Come on, please...
Mona: (thinks for a second) All right, I won't tell.
Vinnie: Thanks a lot, Mona. I appreciate it.
Mona: (confessional) I have to tell somebody about this. I really don't think that Vinnie having a gun and Mike being found shot to death are purely coincidental. I probably shouldn't just blurt it out to everyone though. I know! I'll tell Max in private. He seems like he'd know what to do. You know what else is suspicious? Kaufman saying that he liked Mike and Mike liked him. The producer said that he was brought in to replace Mike, so how did Kaufman know Mike beforehand? I think I'll mention that to Max too.
(The house, that evening.)
(The gang is lounging around in their street clothes, watching TV. They are beginning to look tired.)
Vladimir: I think I'm going to go to bed.
Winterson: Good idea, Vlad. I'm getting tired too. It's been kind of a rough day.
Annie: Y'know what? I think I'm gonna turn in too.
Vinnie: Me too.
Kaufman: Me too.
Max: I'm a little frayed about the edges too, like an overused copper wire. I'm gonna turn in too.
(Everyone goes up to go to bed. Mona quietly slips behind Max and taps him on the shoulder.)
Mona: Um, Max? Can I talk to you in the kitchen before you go up?
Max: Sure, Mona.
(Max and Mona go to the kitchen.)
Max: What's up, Mona?
Mona: I gotta tell you something, and for right now, I think we should keep it between us.
Max: Sure, Mona. What is it?
Mona: Earlier today, I went up to tell Vinnie that he gave a good speech at the funeral today, and when he accidentally knocked over his knapsack, a gun fell out of it.
Max: A gun? Are you sure?
Mona: Max, I know what a gun looks like, and a gun fell out of Vinnie's bag. With Mike having been shot to death too.
Max: Hmm, this is too small a world for coincidences.
Mona: Yeah, well, there's more of 'em too. Remember at the funeral, when Kaufman said, "I liked Mike and Mike liked me?" Well, how would Kaufman know Mike? The producer said that Kaufman was replacing Mike. That sounds awfully suspicious too.
Max: Hmm, yes, it does, a bit. (Thinks for a second) Okay, we'll wait until everyone is asleep. Then...
Winterson: (walking in) What's going on, guys?
Mona: (surprised) What are you doing here? I thought you were going up to bed.
Winterson: I was just getting some water. What's going on? (suspicious) What are you two going to do when we're all asleep?
Mona: Nothing. Go on to bed. Everything's fine.
Max: Winterson, wait.
Mona: Max...
Max: Mona, we should probably let Winterson in on this too. It's okay. Winterson can help too.
Winterson: Help with what, Max?
Max: All right, but for now, don't tell anyone else about this, okay?
Winterson: All right. What is it?
Max: Mona was talking to Vinnie earlier today, and she found a gun in his knapsack.
Winterson: A gun? Vinnie's carrying a gun around?
Max: Yes. Also, did you notice Kaufman's speech? He talked as if he knew him before he came on with us.
Winterson: Hmmm... Yes, as a matter of fact I did notice that. So what are we going to do about this?
Max: We're all going to wait until everyone else is asleep. Then we're gonna get Vinnie's gun away from him. Then we're gonna turn it over to the police and see if they can match the slugs to the ones in Mike. So, are you two with me?
Mona: I am, Max.
Winterson: So am I.
Vladimir: (off-screen, from upstairs) Winterson, aren't you coming to bed?
Winterson: I'll be up in a moment, babe! You go on to sleep!
Mona: Let's just hang down here for a little bit, then we'll go up and try to get that gun.
(The house, shortly after midnight)
(It has grown very quiet around the house. Max, Mona, and Winterson are seated at the dining room table, waiting.)
Max: (whispering) Okay, I think everyone's asleep now.
Winterson: (whispering) Okay, one of us should go up – it'll be easier for one person to keep quiet while getting that gun. The other two will wait here.
Mona: (whispering also) I'll go up. I'm good at sneaking around and staying quiet.
Max: Okay, we'll wait here.
(Mona creeps slowly up the stairs. She doesn't make a sound as she tiptoes down the hall into Vinnie, Annie, and Kaufman's room. All three are sound asleep. She looks around, and then tiptoes over to Vinnie's chest of drawers. She slowly and quietly unzips the knapsack that is still on top of it, but finds no gun. She looks around and tiptoes over to Vinnie's nightstand by his bed. She opens both drawers, but still finds no gun. She glances over at the bed and sees a silver-looking metal object sticking out slightly from under the mattress. Upon closer inspection, she sees that it is the gun. She slowly and quietly slides her hand under the mattress.)
Vinnie: Mmmm... Mona...
(Mona almost shrieks, but catches herself just in the nick of time. She is frozen.)
Vinnie: Mmmm... Winterson...
(Mona sees that Vinnie is still asleep, and appears to be dreaming. She continues to slowly pull the gun out from under his mattress.)
Vinnie: Mmmm... Annie...
(Mona finishes pulling out the gun and gingerly handles it as she proceeds to slip back out of the room.)
Vinnie: Mmmm... Max...
(Mona gets a "What the f***?" look on her face. She then continues to quietly slip out of the room. As she passes by Kaufman, who is fast asleep...)
Kaufman: Baaa... baaa...
(Another dumbfounded look from Mona, but it soon passes as she returns to her escape. She finally slips out of the room and down the stairs to the kitchen, unnoticed.)
Max: (whispering) Did you get it?
Mona: (also whispering) Yes, I did. Right here.
(Mona hands him the Desert Eagle. Max takes out the clip and examines it. It is a seven-shot clip, and two bullets are missing from the clip.)
Max: Winterson, how many times did they say Mike was shot?
Winterson: Nine, I think.
Max: Well, there's two shots missing from this seven-shot clip. It could mean that Vinnie emptied one clip into Mike, reloaded, and then shot him two more times... theoretically.
Mona: Uhh, guys, don't you think we should get this down to the police station before we wake up somebody talking about this?
Winterson: You're right, Mona. Let's go.
(14th Precinct, NYPD, Manhattan, around 1:30 AM)
(Max, Mona, and Winterson enter the station house. Mona is carrying Vinnie's gun in her purse.)
Max: Mona, wait here with that. I'll go talk to front desk officer.
(Max and Winterson go up to the front desk. They show them their badges.)
Officer: Yes, can I help you two?
Max: Yes, I'm Detective Max Payne. This is Detective Valerie Winterson. That's Mona Sax over there. (Points to Mona.) Mona over there has come upon a gun that we have reason to believe was used in the commission of a murder. She has the gun with her right now, in her purse. We'd like to take it to ballistics for testing.
Officer: Okay, go on up.
(Max motions for Mona to follow him. Mona leaves her purse with the officer while she passes through the metal detector. She goes through without a hitch, and then Max and Winterson follow. Mona takes back her purse with the gun in it, and the three go to the elevator. They go up to the seventh floor and go into the crime lab.)
Lab Technician: Can I help you guys?
(Max and Winterson show the Lab Technician their badges. Mona notices this time.)
Mona: (whispering) Max, you and Winterson didn't tell me that you were cops.
Winterson: (also whispering) You never asked.
Max: (whispering) Yeah, it didn't seem important at the beginning, given the setting.
Winterson: (to Lab Technician) Yes, I'm Detective Winterson, this is Detective Payne. And that's Mona Sax. Mona has come upon a gun that we believe was used in the murder of Mike the Cowboy.
Lab Technician: Oh, yes. I've been looking at some of the evidence on that case. Who's gun is that that you have there?
Max: We don't know if it's registered to him, but the gun was found in the possession of one Vinnie Gognitti. We'd like you to match it against the slugs found on Mike.
Lab Technician: Okay, let's see that gun.
(Mona promptly takes the gun out of her purse and hands it to the Lab Technician. He examines it a little bit.)
Lab Technician: Hmmm, looks like there's still a serial number on it, so this Gognitti fella might be in possession of it legally. But we'll just wait until after all the tests are done. I could probably call you with the results sometime tomorrow.
Max: Okay. (Writes down the phone number to the house on the back of a business card, and then hands it to the Lab Technician.) Thank you.
Lab Technician: I'll try to call tomorrow with the results.
(The three leave to return to the house.)
Max: (confessional) I hate to admit it, but like the constant barking of a watchdog, I can't ignore Annie's suspicions anymore. The evidence is confirming them more and more.
Winterson: (confessional) Uh oh. Vinnie could be a murderer. That's not good. I don't want to live in the same roof as a murderer. What if he comes after me next? Or Vlad? I kinda hope he's innocent, but the evidence seems to be pointing toward him.
Mona: (confessional) Too bad. I was actually starting to like Vinnie. Now we have to put him in jail. But I don't know... maybe I should wait for the phone call before rushing to judgment.
MTV Announcer: Coming up, on the next episode of "The Real World"... a moment of truth comes calling... And what will happen between Vladimir and Winterson? Stay tuned for more, on MTV's "The Real World."
As always, R&R's are always welcome. And please, do stay tuned for more...
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to ANYONE or ANYTHING are purely coincidental.
And now... Episode IV of Max Payne & Co. present...
The Real World
Annie: This is the story...
Kaufman: of seven strangers...
Vinnie: picked to live in a house...
Winterson: and have their lives taped.
Vladimir: Find out what happens...
Mona: when people stop being polite...
Max: and start being real...
Everyone: The Real World: New York.
(Annie, Vinnie, and Kaufman's room, morning)
(We see Annie in the room alone, dressed head-to-toe in black, funeral-type clothing. She is listening to some of Mike's Country & Western CDs, and sobbing a little. Max comes in momentarily, wearing a dark suit under his black leather trench coat.)
Max: Annie, we need to get going. We don't want to be late to the funeral.
Annie: (teary-eyed) All right. (Goes to turn off CD player)
Max: How are you holding up, Annie?
Annie: Fine, I guess.
Max: He was a good guy, wasn't he?
Annie: Yes, he was.
Max: I miss him.
Annie: Me too.
(Vinnie and Kaufman show up)
Vinnie: C'mon, let's go. We're gonna be late.
Annie: All right, for chrissakes! I'm comin'!
Max: Hey guys, she's still a bit upset. Just give us one more minute.
Kaufman: Okay.
(Kaufman and Vinnie leave)
Max: Annie, I know you're upset, and you probably don't want to go through this, but Mike is dead. We have to go and bury him. It's what he would have wanted.
Annie: I know. It's just... I still think Vinnie killed him.
Max: Now Annie, don't start that again. There's no evidence of that.
Annie: Broken CDs by his body. Vinnie's jealousy of us. His dislike for Mike and his music. Who else could it be?
Max: Look, I know Vinnie and Mike weren't the best of friends, but it doesn't mean that Vinnie killed him. I think that you just need to calm down and come bury Mike. You're upset and you want to find someone to blame, but none of this is helping. It won't bring him back – believe me, I know. You've gotta let it go and let Mike go. Mike would say the same thing.
Annie: (holding back tears) All right. I'll be okay.
Max: That's the ticket. Now let's go, while we still have time.
(The funeral home, morning)
(The whole gang enters and makes their way to the front pews, which have been reserved for them. They all sit and wait for the service to begin. At the front of the chapel is the coffin, with a picture of Mike and some flowers on a small table beside it. The coffin is completely closed. Kaufman is still wearing his baseball cap when he sits down.)
Mona: (thumps Kaufman on the head) Take off your hat, you dumb hick. We're at a funeral.
Kaufman: Sorry. (removes his hat)
(The chaplain soon takes the stand and the funeral begins.)
Chaplain: We are gathered here today to pay our final respects to Mike the Cowboy. Mike was a good man who made it a point in his life to make people happy. He touched everyone around him. While he will be missed in this world, we must all remember that he is in a much better world now. He is in a place where all his kindness, all his goodness will be well rewarded. We must also remember that someday, we will be reunited with Mike in that better place.
And now, some of Mike's friends will each say something about him.
(Annie takes the stand first.)
Annie: (sobbing) I first met Mike when we shared a limo. He was quite a different man then I was used to. But as I got to know him, I found out how sweet that man was. Some of the best moments of my life were shared with him in the short time that I knew him. He opened my eyes to so many new and different things – things that I never would have discovered without him. Every time he was near, I couldn't help but smile. And now he's gone. I know that he's in a better place, but what I wouldn't give to be sitting with him listening to his Country & Western CD collection once again.
(The congregation says "Amen" as Annie takes her seat. Max then goes up to speak.)
Max: Like a black cat on a snowy mountain top, Mike was a very different man. And he didn't care. He wasn't afraid to be himself, wasn't afraid of what others thought. That's what made him such a genuine person. But he didn't separate himself from the others either. He made an effort to share his likes, his tastes, his unique perspectives with others. Like the portal to another universe, he opened our eyes to so many new things in life. And he wouldn't let us leave until we were happy. Mike, you touched all our lives. And we'll never forget you.
("Amen's" from the congregation as Max sits down. Vinnie goes up next.)
Vinnie: Mike and I didn't exactly see eye-to-eye. But Mike at least made an effort to be friends with me. And he offered to share his passions with me. I should have been more open-minded with him. I shouldn't have let my petty jealousy come between a possible friendship with such a good man. Mike, if you can hear me right now... I'm sorry. I really do wish that I'd a' reached out to ya more.
("Amen's" from everyone but Annie, who still thinks Vinnie whacked Mike. Vinnie sits down; Mona goes up.)
Mona: Mike was the most easygoing guy I had ever met. He could see the good in anything. Not only did he open our eyes to new things, but he was also always willing to try things that were new to him. Whether we were skydiving or singing together or just hanging out together, Mike would always find a way to brighten our lives in some small way. I don't know what Heaven is like, but I hope Mike finds it a peaceful place, just like the open prairie that he always wanted to live on.
(The congregation "Amen's" as Mona sits. Vladimir goes up next.)
Vladimir: I could write a book listing all the reasons that I will miss Mike. He is leaving a big, empty void that no one will ever be able to fill. It didn't matter how bad one of us would be feeling. Whenever Mike was around, we would all be smiling again, forgetting whatever it was that was dragging us down. He touched us all, and expected nothing in return. If more people in this world would follow Mike's lead, the world would be so much better... Good-bye, Mike. I hope that wherever you are, you are richly blessed for all your kindness and generosity.
(Vladimir sits among more "Amen's" from the congregation. Winterson goes up next.)
Winterson: Mike had such a pleasant nature about him that spread across our group like wildfire. He could put up with any one of us and all our faults. He never judged anyone of us for being different from him, but always gave us the benefit of the doubt. This was evident whenever anyone wanted to do something that he had never done before. He went into it with a positive attitude. If everyone was half as positive-thinking as Mike was, so much more things would be accomplished in this world. Mike, I hope that we and the rest of the world can come to look at things like you did, and make you proud.
("Amen's" as Winterson sits down. To the surprise of everyone, Kaufman goes up to say a few words.)
Kaufman: I liked Mike, and Mike liked me.
("Amen's" as Kaufman sits down. The chaplain goes up now.)
Chaplain: Does anyone else have anything to say?
(No one responds.)
Chaplain: Then let us all go out into the world, taking the memory of Mike with us, but remembering that Mike is now in a better place, and is watching us. Amen.
(Everyone repeats "Amen," and exits the building, each person passing by the coffin to say one last good-bye to Mike.)
(The house, early afternoon)
(The gang enters. Everyone else goes into the living room and sits down. Vinnie goes up to his room. Mona follows him.)
Mona: Vinnie?
Vinnie: Oh, hey, Mona. Good service, huh?
Mona: Yes, it was. I just wanted to say... that that was a beautiful speech you gave today.
Vinnie: Oh, uh, thanks, Mona.
(Vinnie walks over to a chest of drawers to take off his tie. When he sets it down, he accidentally knocks off his knapsack, which is unzipped.)
Mona: Oh, here, I'll get that.
Vinnie: (nervously) No, no, no, it's okay, let me get it.
Mona: No, please, I'll get it.
(Vinnie picks it up, and accidentally reveals a .50AE Desert Eagle handgun, which has fallen out of the knapsack. He quickly notices and stuffs it back in, but Mona has seen it too.)
Mona: Vinnie... what the hell?
Vinnie: What?
Mona: What are you doing with that gun in your bag?
Vinnie: What gun?
Mona: "What gun?" The gun that just fell out of your bag. Why are you carrying a gun?
Vinnie: Well, ah... for protection. Good thing I have it too, with what happened to Mike.
(Mona doesn't seem convinced.)
Vinnie: What? I come from a rough neighborhood. I'm always packin'. If you don't pack, you're dead. That's the sad truth.
(Mona starts to walk away.)
Vinnie: Mona? Mona, come on... There's no need to tell anyone about this. I just carry it for protection. I'm not out to hurt anybody. Come on, you'll just make everyone nervous and edgy. Come on, please...
Mona: (thinks for a second) All right, I won't tell.
Vinnie: Thanks a lot, Mona. I appreciate it.
Mona: (confessional) I have to tell somebody about this. I really don't think that Vinnie having a gun and Mike being found shot to death are purely coincidental. I probably shouldn't just blurt it out to everyone though. I know! I'll tell Max in private. He seems like he'd know what to do. You know what else is suspicious? Kaufman saying that he liked Mike and Mike liked him. The producer said that he was brought in to replace Mike, so how did Kaufman know Mike beforehand? I think I'll mention that to Max too.
(The house, that evening.)
(The gang is lounging around in their street clothes, watching TV. They are beginning to look tired.)
Vladimir: I think I'm going to go to bed.
Winterson: Good idea, Vlad. I'm getting tired too. It's been kind of a rough day.
Annie: Y'know what? I think I'm gonna turn in too.
Vinnie: Me too.
Kaufman: Me too.
Max: I'm a little frayed about the edges too, like an overused copper wire. I'm gonna turn in too.
(Everyone goes up to go to bed. Mona quietly slips behind Max and taps him on the shoulder.)
Mona: Um, Max? Can I talk to you in the kitchen before you go up?
Max: Sure, Mona.
(Max and Mona go to the kitchen.)
Max: What's up, Mona?
Mona: I gotta tell you something, and for right now, I think we should keep it between us.
Max: Sure, Mona. What is it?
Mona: Earlier today, I went up to tell Vinnie that he gave a good speech at the funeral today, and when he accidentally knocked over his knapsack, a gun fell out of it.
Max: A gun? Are you sure?
Mona: Max, I know what a gun looks like, and a gun fell out of Vinnie's bag. With Mike having been shot to death too.
Max: Hmm, this is too small a world for coincidences.
Mona: Yeah, well, there's more of 'em too. Remember at the funeral, when Kaufman said, "I liked Mike and Mike liked me?" Well, how would Kaufman know Mike? The producer said that Kaufman was replacing Mike. That sounds awfully suspicious too.
Max: Hmm, yes, it does, a bit. (Thinks for a second) Okay, we'll wait until everyone is asleep. Then...
Winterson: (walking in) What's going on, guys?
Mona: (surprised) What are you doing here? I thought you were going up to bed.
Winterson: I was just getting some water. What's going on? (suspicious) What are you two going to do when we're all asleep?
Mona: Nothing. Go on to bed. Everything's fine.
Max: Winterson, wait.
Mona: Max...
Max: Mona, we should probably let Winterson in on this too. It's okay. Winterson can help too.
Winterson: Help with what, Max?
Max: All right, but for now, don't tell anyone else about this, okay?
Winterson: All right. What is it?
Max: Mona was talking to Vinnie earlier today, and she found a gun in his knapsack.
Winterson: A gun? Vinnie's carrying a gun around?
Max: Yes. Also, did you notice Kaufman's speech? He talked as if he knew him before he came on with us.
Winterson: Hmmm... Yes, as a matter of fact I did notice that. So what are we going to do about this?
Max: We're all going to wait until everyone else is asleep. Then we're gonna get Vinnie's gun away from him. Then we're gonna turn it over to the police and see if they can match the slugs to the ones in Mike. So, are you two with me?
Mona: I am, Max.
Winterson: So am I.
Vladimir: (off-screen, from upstairs) Winterson, aren't you coming to bed?
Winterson: I'll be up in a moment, babe! You go on to sleep!
Mona: Let's just hang down here for a little bit, then we'll go up and try to get that gun.
(The house, shortly after midnight)
(It has grown very quiet around the house. Max, Mona, and Winterson are seated at the dining room table, waiting.)
Max: (whispering) Okay, I think everyone's asleep now.
Winterson: (whispering) Okay, one of us should go up – it'll be easier for one person to keep quiet while getting that gun. The other two will wait here.
Mona: (whispering also) I'll go up. I'm good at sneaking around and staying quiet.
Max: Okay, we'll wait here.
(Mona creeps slowly up the stairs. She doesn't make a sound as she tiptoes down the hall into Vinnie, Annie, and Kaufman's room. All three are sound asleep. She looks around, and then tiptoes over to Vinnie's chest of drawers. She slowly and quietly unzips the knapsack that is still on top of it, but finds no gun. She looks around and tiptoes over to Vinnie's nightstand by his bed. She opens both drawers, but still finds no gun. She glances over at the bed and sees a silver-looking metal object sticking out slightly from under the mattress. Upon closer inspection, she sees that it is the gun. She slowly and quietly slides her hand under the mattress.)
Vinnie: Mmmm... Mona...
(Mona almost shrieks, but catches herself just in the nick of time. She is frozen.)
Vinnie: Mmmm... Winterson...
(Mona sees that Vinnie is still asleep, and appears to be dreaming. She continues to slowly pull the gun out from under his mattress.)
Vinnie: Mmmm... Annie...
(Mona finishes pulling out the gun and gingerly handles it as she proceeds to slip back out of the room.)
Vinnie: Mmmm... Max...
(Mona gets a "What the f***?" look on her face. She then continues to quietly slip out of the room. As she passes by Kaufman, who is fast asleep...)
Kaufman: Baaa... baaa...
(Another dumbfounded look from Mona, but it soon passes as she returns to her escape. She finally slips out of the room and down the stairs to the kitchen, unnoticed.)
Max: (whispering) Did you get it?
Mona: (also whispering) Yes, I did. Right here.
(Mona hands him the Desert Eagle. Max takes out the clip and examines it. It is a seven-shot clip, and two bullets are missing from the clip.)
Max: Winterson, how many times did they say Mike was shot?
Winterson: Nine, I think.
Max: Well, there's two shots missing from this seven-shot clip. It could mean that Vinnie emptied one clip into Mike, reloaded, and then shot him two more times... theoretically.
Mona: Uhh, guys, don't you think we should get this down to the police station before we wake up somebody talking about this?
Winterson: You're right, Mona. Let's go.
(14th Precinct, NYPD, Manhattan, around 1:30 AM)
(Max, Mona, and Winterson enter the station house. Mona is carrying Vinnie's gun in her purse.)
Max: Mona, wait here with that. I'll go talk to front desk officer.
(Max and Winterson go up to the front desk. They show them their badges.)
Officer: Yes, can I help you two?
Max: Yes, I'm Detective Max Payne. This is Detective Valerie Winterson. That's Mona Sax over there. (Points to Mona.) Mona over there has come upon a gun that we have reason to believe was used in the commission of a murder. She has the gun with her right now, in her purse. We'd like to take it to ballistics for testing.
Officer: Okay, go on up.
(Max motions for Mona to follow him. Mona leaves her purse with the officer while she passes through the metal detector. She goes through without a hitch, and then Max and Winterson follow. Mona takes back her purse with the gun in it, and the three go to the elevator. They go up to the seventh floor and go into the crime lab.)
Lab Technician: Can I help you guys?
(Max and Winterson show the Lab Technician their badges. Mona notices this time.)
Mona: (whispering) Max, you and Winterson didn't tell me that you were cops.
Winterson: (also whispering) You never asked.
Max: (whispering) Yeah, it didn't seem important at the beginning, given the setting.
Winterson: (to Lab Technician) Yes, I'm Detective Winterson, this is Detective Payne. And that's Mona Sax. Mona has come upon a gun that we believe was used in the murder of Mike the Cowboy.
Lab Technician: Oh, yes. I've been looking at some of the evidence on that case. Who's gun is that that you have there?
Max: We don't know if it's registered to him, but the gun was found in the possession of one Vinnie Gognitti. We'd like you to match it against the slugs found on Mike.
Lab Technician: Okay, let's see that gun.
(Mona promptly takes the gun out of her purse and hands it to the Lab Technician. He examines it a little bit.)
Lab Technician: Hmmm, looks like there's still a serial number on it, so this Gognitti fella might be in possession of it legally. But we'll just wait until after all the tests are done. I could probably call you with the results sometime tomorrow.
Max: Okay. (Writes down the phone number to the house on the back of a business card, and then hands it to the Lab Technician.) Thank you.
Lab Technician: I'll try to call tomorrow with the results.
(The three leave to return to the house.)
Max: (confessional) I hate to admit it, but like the constant barking of a watchdog, I can't ignore Annie's suspicions anymore. The evidence is confirming them more and more.
Winterson: (confessional) Uh oh. Vinnie could be a murderer. That's not good. I don't want to live in the same roof as a murderer. What if he comes after me next? Or Vlad? I kinda hope he's innocent, but the evidence seems to be pointing toward him.
Mona: (confessional) Too bad. I was actually starting to like Vinnie. Now we have to put him in jail. But I don't know... maybe I should wait for the phone call before rushing to judgment.
MTV Announcer: Coming up, on the next episode of "The Real World"... a moment of truth comes calling... And what will happen between Vladimir and Winterson? Stay tuned for more, on MTV's "The Real World."
As always, R&R's are always welcome. And please, do stay tuned for more...