It's amazing how much time can pass when one doesn't think about it. Given such a bland routine of getting up early, going to school till almost noon every day during the week, working till late those same days, then working on the weekends, one would think time would slow down.
Especially given the break she gave herself with only four classes instead of the crammed seven in her sophomore summer semester.
A whole month passed and August was nearly over with. Thankfully! Fall brought lower temperatures and although it was still in the low nineties, the temperatures had stayed out of the hundreds for the past week and a half.
She leaned back and gave a small stretch, dropping her pencil down in the center of her latest textbook and rubbed her eyes.
She was doing more homework in her spare time...trying to study hard to keep up and / or get ahead. Her need for good grades so far hadn't failed her and she had anything from an A-plus to a B her entire college career.
And hopefully she would have even better grades now that she had weekends free.
That had been a relaxation decision on her part. With two jobs and seven classes in the summer, there was barely enough time to study, even given the many hours of free time outside her big responsibilities. It was just a good thing summer classes were short and some easier than others, otherwise she would've never made it and had to drop one or two to be taken now.
Her eyes jumped to the clock, finding it four. Hands rubbed her eyes again, this time in surprised skepticism. Had she already spent two whole hours doing Calculus homework??
Dark green strayed back to the paper and the one covered with experimental answers to find the correct one. Course...given the fact she was working on MATH, those two hours were pretty long. She sighed and held up the scribble sheet. It was practically full of wrong answers and equations. Even with a high tech calculator, she still had to work a problem out on paper to understand it.
Her nose wrinkled. 'I am never going to understand math...of ANY degree.'
She set the paper down. Well not completely true, she understood pre-Algebra and Algebra at least...and Geometry to a fair degree. The rest just didn't stick all too well.
She decided right then and there to stop for the day. This was time to relax and let her mind settle down. Having worked on both Western Civ and Calc homework, she was ready to leave it. It was only four...that meant she had at least six to seven hours of free time to kill.
She stopped the turn in her chair at that thought. Six to seven HOURS?? "Wow..." She breathed, eyes wide. Never had she had so much time since...her spring semester possibly? Perhaps last fall? "I think...I might actually be BORED tonight!" A giggle hit the quiet. Her and bored didn't go together. She was always doing something it seemed.
So what to do? Unlike her, Sam decided on weekend classes, and she would be out till five at least. That gave an entire hour by herself in this big empty, rented house. But she was inside all day, and although the days were still hot, she wanted to be out in it. The urge to be in nature was hitting her, so she decided to go and do something she also hadn't the pleasure of doing for quite some time.
After changing into suitable clothes for the temperature, she scribbled a note and hung it on the fridge because it would take a while to get there and headed out the back door. After unchaining her bike and putting it in the special pouch on her handlebars, she led it to the sidewalk.
It was time to go scout for shells and build up her tiny collection.
~*~*~
It took over half an hour to cover the two and a half miles to the ocean lining the state, but by then the size of people had dimmed for favor of going home and getting supper.
That was exactly what she wanted.
For what she could see at the bike rack on top of the concrete wall, mostly built in case the ocean rose in high tide, there were two dozen or so people sprinkled around. All the better. She ambled down the steps and trudged to the tip of the shoreline. She stopped where dry sand met wet and looked to the darkened sand.
Those precious shells HAD to be around here somewhere!
It was a favored pastime she had - collecting very pretty and rare-looking seashells. She sometimes scoured the shoreline for miles both ways, looking and digging in shallow waters and on the beach. It was a treasure hunt. It was one of the few hobbies she had besides reading, studying, Sunday movie time, cooking, and rare poetry spurts. She didn't get to come out here as much as she liked and look around, but that's what kept the excitement alive. Somewhere on this shore there was a beautiful shell ready to be cleaned and kept in her room to be admired. So far, she had a total of eight arranged around her room.
She slowly edged to the waterline, experimentally digging her toes in wet sand. She dug till it nearly covered her feet and stopped, moving a few feet away to try again. Instead of digging like a dog, and looking utterly silly, she dug with her feet. It was slow, it felt good, and she would be able to tell if she hit something as easily as she could with her hands. Not to mention time passed increasingly fast this way.
She never went in past her knees, for fear of being sucked in, but the clear water allowed her to see until her toes wriggled underneath. There was always more chance of getting a shell under water than on sand, as kids and adults often took them home like she did.
The sun started setting by the time she got maybe half a mile away from her original spot and it was a sight to see. There were few clouds in the sky and the sun turned them a brilliant, bright pink despite the sunset's colors. The beauty of it - and the reflections on the water - forced her to pause and admire it until she shook herself and continued on.
She was glad to know that maybe everyone was gone from sight. The beach was practically empty. Good. She liked being alone and doing this. Not that it looked silly...but this was a private thing. Not even Sammy came with her on these excursions. These were serene, soul clearing times for her.
She didn't have to worry about thinking of her life in Westchester or the beginning years here. If she did, it didn't bother her as much. Nature had a way of calming her mind and making her feel at peace. Her relationship problems and other doubts in life never got under her skin here. Out here, she was untouchable.
With that in mind, she always wished to come and do this more often. But doing it infrequently was what made it special and the lapse in time often allowed for more shells to come in with the tide. Not to mention that frequent arrivals would soon render her immune to the effects and she would need another outlet. So the time was just right. It was like visiting an old friend.
She stilled in ankle-deep water and stared at the sun almost level with her gaze. It shone deep magenta, the immediate sky around a bright yellow leading to darker colors farther away from it. Her head bent straight back to stare at the navy blue/purple. The stars would be out soon and then she would not be able to see anymore to hunt.
Another treasure-less search. But not wasted...NEVER wasted.
A soft smile appeared as she slowly sat down, forgetting her hunt for a while, and watched the sun set. The sound of the ocean crashing around her - wetting her feet - hit her ears. Other than a very gentle breeze, the rest was silence. For being the solitary human there, she didn't feel one ounce of solitude. Far from it. Her mind was blank except for pleasant thoughts, and her heart was full of tranquility.
She was happy.
Her smile eased another notch as her chin rested on knees. Rarely could she really say that. She found happiness in some things in life, through family and friends and everyday things, but it didn't come to HER. These few times were the one thing that made her really happy. Nature and her books.
Deep green drifted down and blinked in pleasant surprise. A childlike smile appeared as her arms disengaged from her legs and she leaned forward.
There was something barely sticking out of the water, catching the waves as they road in.
Gently, she extracted the item from the sand and turned it around to examine it with the dying sun. It was half an oyster shell, part of the creature still attached. Her nose wrinkled as a small shudder went through her. Poor thing...but did she really want to touch it??
She dipped it in the tide to clean out some of the sand and found the mollusk wasn't attached very well. What was underneath its slimy hide was an iridescent glow of color.
A grin lit her face. Success! Now to clean it off and she'd have another beauty to display!
She looked around and found a small piece of driftwood sticking out of the sand a little distance away. She headed toward it and pulled it from the ground, using it to carefully chip away the mollusk. After that, she rinsed the finished product again to fully cleanse it and admired her work. Not bad... She turned toward the sun and moved the shell around, watching as the reddish light hit the colors and made them brighter.
It was beautiful. An intact piece of a half a shell. And as luck would have it, the colored side.
She beamed like a little kid and turned back to the sun, feeling like laughing. Today paid off! This was the first oyster shell she had to add to her collection. "Score! Go me!" She muttered, laughing at herself. The search finished, content with a single piece, she headed back the way she came for her bike.
~*~*~
Inaki,
I had a pretty good day today. I'm smiling as I'm writing this, not just because I get to write you back, but because I'm rather content right now. I had work today and spent a few hours studying while Sam went off to classes. As you know, I didn't take any weekend classes this semester, but she took one for the weekend.
Anyway - I spent two hours doing Calc and more Western Civ homework and stopped around four. Knowing Sammy didn't get back till around five, I decided to go pursue a hobby I don't get the pleasure of doing that often. What is it you ask? Even if you didn't, you'll get to know anyway.
I collect seashells. Not just any either...I search the beach - not always successful - for pretty or oddly shaped ones. It's fun and I highly recommend it, though you better not be coming all the way down here and stealing any of mine!
I spent almost all of the sunset looking and ended up with the iridescent side of an oyster shell. Score for me! It's the first one I have and right now it's sitting on my desk so I can look at it. After a while, as shells don't get to sit on my desk with my schoolbooks, it'll go somewhere safer. So far, that makes nine total. I've been doing this for nearly two years now and I go to the beach maybe once every month or every other. I've actually got a pretty good number given the fact that the beach is always crowded and I miss the shells anyone else picks up and takes home.
I just finished making me and Sammy dinner and decided to write you before I went to bed. I'll get the letter out Sunday and hopefully you'll get it before half the week is over.
So how's your life going? Any changes since your letter a week ago? Everyone you know still the same? I think one of these times I'll probably have to PROPERLY meet your friends so the circumstances of last time are erased. Don't ask.
So, you made any use out of my birthday present for you yet? I'm sorry you didn't get it in time. That's my fault. Like I said, I was debating on whether or not to get you anything. But after you telling me your like of alternative music and your guitar playing, I thought those musical pieces would suit you. I hope you like them, though they are some of the bands you mentioned to me. Personally, you know I'm more into techno...but whatever, you know?
You'll have to play for me sometime. I'd like to hear how good you are. And also...do you think you have any extra pictures of your family that I could see? I've got physical descriptions and names, but I'd like to see for myself. If you don't mind... For a trade, I can send one of me and my mom, and one of me and Sammy.
Well I suppose I should cut this off. It's short yea, but it's getting late and I've got work tomorrow. I think I'll get a little extra sleep for once. If you don't want to give away any of your family pictures, that's fine, I won't be hurt. Just ask if you want one of my family and I'll search for one. I've got plenty.
Talk to you later,
K
August 30, 2097
P-S-I hope you don't see me dating these as a bad thing. I've seen you do it and I thank you for that. I like to keep a record to go back on when I get time and reread your letters for fun. So no thinking I'm weird or anything!
She smiled and dug in her desk for an envelope and the stash of stamps. Before, stamps were always kept in a drawer in the kitchen for paying bills. But now she always kept a supply in her drawer strictly for these letters. It was worth the money.
After sealing the envelope and pressing it to make sure the glue stuck, she gave it an absent tap on the edge of the desk before setting it in a place to remember to take with to work to mail. One of the perks was she was able to mail outgoing things with everything else and no one cared. Ah the benefits of a hotel job...
Stifling a yawn, she found the time nearly nine and decided to turn in. It was early, but she had to be up early. Normally she only stayed up for another hour anyway, and she DID say she wanted that extra sleep. After changing into her pajamas and telling Sam she was turning in, she flopped on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Her ears picked up Sam's puttering around downstairs as her mind hummed.
During one of the past letters, she finally gave in and told him the only family she had was her mother. That was a stupid blunder on her part, brought on by making mention of how lucky he was to have such a tight-knit and massive family living with him.
She gave a small cringe in the dark. She couldn't deny the fact that she didn't want to lie to him in answering his question. He would make one of the few friends she had and she didn't like lying to her friends unless she had a reason. Half the time it was stupid, albeit to protect herself, but it was always a reason.
Her eyes closed after a pause in thought. She missed her mother a little bit. Even though Labor Day was on Monday, that still didn't change the fact that she had to work. At least she got holiday pay.
She flipped to her stomach and stared at the far wall, mentally recounting where her photo albums were packed away. There were a few plastic tubs under her daybed, but there was also her entire room to check and the storage closet across the small hallway. She didn't have as many as she betted Inaki would, but she had one full album of past memories and present. Her mother was an important person, even if that dimmed with her being an adult and so independent. She relied more on herself and saw her mother more as a companion than mother.
She frowned and closed her eyes. Still...it was true. But that frame of mind was partly responsible for the past five years. It was a sad thing that it tainted the image of her mother, but being away and missing her sometimes helped keep the bond there.
She sighed and turned her head to the other wall. Those damn emotions...and damn the actions for bringing them about. Sure she wasn't THE most happiest or contented kid in the world, but she was so much better before they came along. They tainted her once good view of the world.
Deep green popped open, loathing shining in the darkness. No...that wasn't right. Brad and Arthur weren't the one who started tainting her view of the world. It was that man...that man she refused to recognize as father. To her, he didn't exist and she'd rather keep it that way. Her gaze hardened as anger filled her, making her nose burn with the start of tears. Tears at the unfairness of it all.
She would never forgive Marcus for screwing it all up. 'He ruined everything...' She hissed, pressing her face into the pillow. Her eyes squeezed shut as liquid passed through, marking tiny stains on fabric.
Hadn't she loved him when she was a child? Where did he go wrong with her mother? Why didn't he love her mother?? Why didn't he love her mother as she did when they were still whole? Now he lived far in the north...and he hadn't contacted her since a final birthday card when she was sixteen.
Spite curled her mouth to a sneer. Did he ever love her? Was she just a nuisance? Was she part of the reason he left? Was he even alive today? Did he remarry? Did she now have step-siblings somewhere else in Florida?
She didn't know, but she didn't WANT to know! She HATED him! He ruined it all...ALL of it! She had a LIFE before he screwed it up!
A shuddering breath went through her as she sat up and tried to calm down. Heels went to her eyes. No...no good. She wanted this extra time to fall asleep, not dwell on her screwed-up life! This wouldn't do at all! She couldn't think these thoughts or they'd make her go crazy. She had to keep them hidden, locked away with the rest of the emotions she didn't want to feel, if she was to survive. She had to keep them hidden if she was going to act like the person everyone THOUGHT she was.
Hands dropped like lead weights to her lap and she dully stared at them. Silence in the room weighed over her ears, broken by soft breathing. She forcefully blanked her mind of any thought except the need to sleep.
Her eyes drifted closed as she remained sitting up. Sleep...she needed to sleep. Use the drained sensation she suddenly had to help her. Let it pull her to the blissful peace of slumber...
She inhaled a deep breath and exhaled slowly, forcing all the bad out with it. She shoved it all away with that technique, as she often did before. No one knew what she did with that except herself. Not even Sammy or her mother knew she hid by taking that single, deep breath.
Feeling the tinge of exhaustion, she flopped back down and grabbed her pillow, cradling it in her arms. She faced the wall closest to her bed and stared at it through tired lids. After a few minutes, they closed and she was soon granted yet another way out of dealing with her life.