Disclaimers: Once again, I don't own any of this stuff. Rockstar owns Max
Payne; MTV owns the Real World. So nobody sue, okay?
This stuff is all made-up. Any similarities, yadda, yadda, yadda, are purely coincidental.
And now, Episode V of Max Payne & Co. present...
The Real World
Max: This is the story...
Mona: of seven strangers...
Vladimir: picked to live in a house...
Vinnie: and have their lives ended... er, I mean, taped.
Winterson: Find out what happens...
Annie: when people stop being polite...
Kaufman: and start being real...
Everybody: The Real World: New York.
(The house, late morning)
(We see Vladimir and Vinnie on the couch, watching a basketball game. Mona, Winterson, and Annie are in the kitchen, talking about nothing in particular. Max and Kaufman are playing dominoes – Kaufman is winning, but Max is determined to beat him just once.)
Kaufman: Ten.
Max: (adds ten points to Kaufman's score on a slip of paper) Nice job, but I'm gonna win today.
Kaufman: Okay.
Mona: ...so, like, I'm shopping at Saks, and I go to try on these designer pumps. So I catch a glimpse of the label... and they're knockoffs.
Annie: Good night, what'd you do?
Mona: I toss 'em off and run like hell home, then I wash my feet in kerosene. Annie: By the way, did you go out last night after we all went to bed?
Mona: Er, no. Why would we?
Annie: We?
Mona: Uhhh...
Winterson: Oh, Mona, Max, and I couldn't sleep, so we came down to watch TV. Maybe that's what you heard.
Annie: Hm, I guess so.
(The phone rings. Annie picks it up.)
Annie: Hello... Who?... Okay, hold on just a moment. (Calling out) Yo! Gotta phone call for Max or Winterson.
Max: I'll take it upstairs! Don't you go anywhere or move anything, Kaufman. Today's the day I beat you.
Kaufman: Okay.
(Max goes upstairs and picks up the phone in his and Mona's room.)
Max: Hello.
Lab Technician: (on other end) Hello, Detective Payne. This is Carl from down at the 14th Precinct Crime Lab. I've got the results of the ballistics test run on the gun you turned in. It looks like the slugs match the ones we found at the crime scene that allegedly penetrated Mike.
Max: Allegedly?
Lab Technician: Yes, because we never actually found the body. All the slugs were embedded in the wall. We figure they passed through Mike, but there was no body.
Max: Hmm, this adds another wrinkle to iron out of this already slept-in designer suit.
Lab Technician: What?
Max: Nothing. Never mind. Anyway, what about the serial number on the gun?
Lab Technician: Oh yeah, the gun showed up as registered to Vincent Gognitti.
Max: Thought so. All right, thanks. (hangs up the phone)
Max: (confessional) That is funny, the cops not having found the body. But all the other evidence now points to Vinnie like a road map. We've gotta press him, and now.
Max: (calling downstairs) Mona! Winterson! Can you come up here please?
(Mona and Winterson soon appear.)
Winterson: What is it, Max?
Max: That was the lab on the phone. It turns out that the slugs match, and the gun is registered to Vinnie. But there is one thing.
Mona: What?
Max: They didn't find a body. The lab technician said that forensics dug the slugs out of the wall. They think that maybe the slugs passed through Mike, but since there's no body, they can't be sure.
Winterson: Yeah, that is weird.
Mona: So what? It was clearly Vinnie's gun that killed Mike, and Vinnie's got motive. We've gotta press him. And Kaufman, too. Kaufman's gotta be in on it somehow.
(Vinnie comes walking in, followed by Kaufman.)
Vinnie: Hey, what's up, guys?
(Silence from the others. Vinnie gets nervous.)
Vinnie: What's going on?
Max: Winterson, get the others. Mona, stand in the doorway.
Kaufman: Uh oh.
Vinnie: Max, what the f(bleep)k is going on?
(Max waits for the others to show up. As soon as they do, he begins.)
Max: Hey Vinnie. Tell me something – are you missing anything?
(Vinnie goes over to look through his knapsack. He sees that his gun is missing.)
Vinnie: What the...
Max: If you're looking for that gun, it's with the police.
Vinnie: Mona! You promised not to tell anyone about that!
Mona: Sorry, Vinnie, but I can't cover this up.
Max: Looks like your gun matches the one used to kill Mike.
Annie: I knew it! And you guys didn't believe me!
Vinnie: No, listen. You got it all wrong.
Winterson: Oh, let me guess. The gun accidentally went off by itself... nine times. With a seven-shot clip.
(Vinnie is looking around nervously, as if mentally debating whether or not to fess up.)
Vladimir: Well, Vinnie, we're waiting. What do you have to say for yourself?
MTV Announcer: Does Vinnie really know something that the others don't? Or is he just trying to excuse his crime? Find out next, after the break, on The Real World...
This stuff is all made-up. Any similarities, yadda, yadda, yadda, are purely coincidental.
And now, Episode V of Max Payne & Co. present...
The Real World
Max: This is the story...
Mona: of seven strangers...
Vladimir: picked to live in a house...
Vinnie: and have their lives ended... er, I mean, taped.
Winterson: Find out what happens...
Annie: when people stop being polite...
Kaufman: and start being real...
Everybody: The Real World: New York.
(The house, late morning)
(We see Vladimir and Vinnie on the couch, watching a basketball game. Mona, Winterson, and Annie are in the kitchen, talking about nothing in particular. Max and Kaufman are playing dominoes – Kaufman is winning, but Max is determined to beat him just once.)
Kaufman: Ten.
Max: (adds ten points to Kaufman's score on a slip of paper) Nice job, but I'm gonna win today.
Kaufman: Okay.
Mona: ...so, like, I'm shopping at Saks, and I go to try on these designer pumps. So I catch a glimpse of the label... and they're knockoffs.
Annie: Good night, what'd you do?
Mona: I toss 'em off and run like hell home, then I wash my feet in kerosene. Annie: By the way, did you go out last night after we all went to bed?
Mona: Er, no. Why would we?
Annie: We?
Mona: Uhhh...
Winterson: Oh, Mona, Max, and I couldn't sleep, so we came down to watch TV. Maybe that's what you heard.
Annie: Hm, I guess so.
(The phone rings. Annie picks it up.)
Annie: Hello... Who?... Okay, hold on just a moment. (Calling out) Yo! Gotta phone call for Max or Winterson.
Max: I'll take it upstairs! Don't you go anywhere or move anything, Kaufman. Today's the day I beat you.
Kaufman: Okay.
(Max goes upstairs and picks up the phone in his and Mona's room.)
Max: Hello.
Lab Technician: (on other end) Hello, Detective Payne. This is Carl from down at the 14th Precinct Crime Lab. I've got the results of the ballistics test run on the gun you turned in. It looks like the slugs match the ones we found at the crime scene that allegedly penetrated Mike.
Max: Allegedly?
Lab Technician: Yes, because we never actually found the body. All the slugs were embedded in the wall. We figure they passed through Mike, but there was no body.
Max: Hmm, this adds another wrinkle to iron out of this already slept-in designer suit.
Lab Technician: What?
Max: Nothing. Never mind. Anyway, what about the serial number on the gun?
Lab Technician: Oh yeah, the gun showed up as registered to Vincent Gognitti.
Max: Thought so. All right, thanks. (hangs up the phone)
Max: (confessional) That is funny, the cops not having found the body. But all the other evidence now points to Vinnie like a road map. We've gotta press him, and now.
Max: (calling downstairs) Mona! Winterson! Can you come up here please?
(Mona and Winterson soon appear.)
Winterson: What is it, Max?
Max: That was the lab on the phone. It turns out that the slugs match, and the gun is registered to Vinnie. But there is one thing.
Mona: What?
Max: They didn't find a body. The lab technician said that forensics dug the slugs out of the wall. They think that maybe the slugs passed through Mike, but since there's no body, they can't be sure.
Winterson: Yeah, that is weird.
Mona: So what? It was clearly Vinnie's gun that killed Mike, and Vinnie's got motive. We've gotta press him. And Kaufman, too. Kaufman's gotta be in on it somehow.
(Vinnie comes walking in, followed by Kaufman.)
Vinnie: Hey, what's up, guys?
(Silence from the others. Vinnie gets nervous.)
Vinnie: What's going on?
Max: Winterson, get the others. Mona, stand in the doorway.
Kaufman: Uh oh.
Vinnie: Max, what the f(bleep)k is going on?
(Max waits for the others to show up. As soon as they do, he begins.)
Max: Hey Vinnie. Tell me something – are you missing anything?
(Vinnie goes over to look through his knapsack. He sees that his gun is missing.)
Vinnie: What the...
Max: If you're looking for that gun, it's with the police.
Vinnie: Mona! You promised not to tell anyone about that!
Mona: Sorry, Vinnie, but I can't cover this up.
Max: Looks like your gun matches the one used to kill Mike.
Annie: I knew it! And you guys didn't believe me!
Vinnie: No, listen. You got it all wrong.
Winterson: Oh, let me guess. The gun accidentally went off by itself... nine times. With a seven-shot clip.
(Vinnie is looking around nervously, as if mentally debating whether or not to fess up.)
Vladimir: Well, Vinnie, we're waiting. What do you have to say for yourself?
MTV Announcer: Does Vinnie really know something that the others don't? Or is he just trying to excuse his crime? Find out next, after the break, on The Real World...