Disclaimers: You know the drill. Don't own this stuff; Rockstar and MTV
do.
This stuff is fiction, not true.
And now, episode VII of Max Payne & Co. present...
The Real World
MTV Director: (after waiting a long while) Hey, yo, Max!
Max: (hung over) What... the construction site...
MTV Director: We're on the air, Max!
Max: Oh, sorry. This is the story...
Mona: of seven strangers...
Vladimir: (hung over too) picked to live in a house (god, my head is killing me)...
Vinnie: (also hung over) How the hell did I get this bruise on my forehead... I mean, uh, have their lives taped...
Winterson: Find out what happens...
Mike: (hung over as well) Coffee... COFFEE!!!
Annie: and start being real...
Everyone: (who doesn't miss their cue) The Real World: New York.
(The house, around noon)
(We see Mona in the kitchen, making dry toast and coffee – LOTS of coffee. Max shows up momentarily.)
Mona: Oh, hello Max. Welcome back to the land of the living.
Max: Is that coffee I smell? I need some like people in hell need ice cubes.
Mona: Help yourself. And have some toast, maybe it'll help you too.
Max: Thanks. (Pours a cup of coffee and takes a slice of toast.)
(Vladimir comes down.)
Vladimir: (hung over, rubbing his forehead vigorously) Mona, dearest of all my friends, let me have some coffee.
Mona: Sure, Vlad. Help yourself.
(Vladimir pours himself a cup of coffee and grabs some toast. As he sits at the table, Mike comes down, also hung over.)
Mike: Coffee... COFFEE!!!
Mona: On the counter, Mike.
(Mike gets himself some coffee and some toast. He then sits down. Soon Vinnie shows up. He has a nasty bruise on his forehead.)
Vinnie: Owww, my head. What the hell happened?
Mona: Well, let's see. You were passed out drunk on the floor, so you probably hit your head and didn't even feel it.
Vinnie: Yeah, whatever. Coffee!
Mona: On the counter.
(Vinnie gets his cup of coffee and some toast, then sits down. Soon Annie shows up, followed by Winterson.)
Annie: Well, Mike, I guess you guys had some sorta guys' night in, huh?
Mike: Did we? I don't remember much. Just basketball and BJ & the Bear and Vinnie falling on floor.
Vinnie: How did I fall on the floor?
Vladimir: Don't ask.
Vinnie: Ahh, you're probably right.
Winterson: Vlad, I can't believe you got so hammered last night. You must have fallen asleep before you hit the pillow.
Vladimir: Sorry. I guess we all just got a little carried away.
Winterson: I'll say.
Max: Good god, my head feels two sizes too small for my brain. I'm never drinking like that again.
Mona: Well, I hope so, Max. Cause I'm not doing this again.
Max: Okay.
Vladimir: I never really got to ask you, how did you girls' evening out go?
Annie: It was pretty tight.
Mona: Uh-huh. Winterson had a little bit of a stomach ache, and a few creeps tried to hit on us.
Annie: Yeah, a couple of creeps in pin-stripe suits, and some guy named Rico. He even gave Mona a business card.
(Mona takes out a card and shows it to the gang. It reads, "RICO MUERTE – BIG TIME HUSTLER.")
Max: Huh?
Mona: I don't even wanna know.
Vladimir: So Winterson, is your stomach feeling better?
Winterson: Uhh, not really. But it's okay. I'm gonna go see the doctor about it.
Vladimir: Want me to drive you?
Winterson: No thanks! I mean, uh, I'll just use the network limo.
Vladimir: Oh... okay.
Max: Oh, by the way, Vinnie, your surprise is coming tonight at around six, and you'll want to look nice for it.
Vinnie: Man, it must be some surprise.
Max: Oh, it is.
(Later that afternoon)
(We see Winterson finishing getting ready to go to her doctor's appointment. She is wearing her pant-suit again, with her hair pulled back in her trademark style. She is finishing putting on her makeup. She then goes downstairs.)
Winterson: Bye, guys. I'm off to my appointment.
Max: Okay, see ya later.
Vladimir: Winterson, are you sure you don't want me to come with you?
Winterson: No, that's okay, Vlad. It's just a stomach ache. I'll be fine.
Mona: Bye, Winterson.
Winterson: See you guys later.
(The doctor's office, about an hour or so later.)
(Winterson is waiting inside one of the small rooms. The doctor comes in momentarily.)
Winterson: So... what's the word?
Doctor Magdalena: Congratulations. You know who the father is?
Winterson: Ohh, I do indeed.
Winterson: (confessional) My plan for Vlad is working perfectly. I'll tell Vlad about the kid in a day or two, after I make a couple of calls.
(We see Winterson riding in the limo returning to the house. She is talking on her cell phone.)
Winterson: Hey, it's me... Yes, it has been a while... I'm fine. Listen, I need you guys here ASAP... There's this guy, he, uh... Yeah, that's it... Well, I might need your help with that... Yes, come on over... You guys know what to bring, right?... Yeah, that's it... Okay, great. Thanks. Bye. (hangs up)
(The house, early that evening)
(Winterson enters the house, where everyone except Vinnie is lounging around in the living room.)
Mona: Oh, hey Winterson.
Winterson: Hi, guys. What's up?
Vladimir: How did your doctor's appointment go?
Winterson: It's fine. Just a little, um, virus. The doctor gave me a couple of tablets. I'm fine now.
Vladimir: That's good.
Winterson: You guys look like your feeling better.
Mike: Yes, we are. Thanks for asking.
Winterson: Where's Vinnie?
Max: He's upstairs, getting dolled up for his "surprise."
Winterson: Oh, that's right. That's tonight, isn't it?
Max: Right, she should be here any second now.
(Vinnie comes down. He is wearing a dark suit with a butterfly-collared silk shirt. It is the suit he was wearing in MP1.)
Vinnie: Hey guys.
Max: Hey Vinnie. Your surprise will be here any minute now.
Vinnie: How do I look? Is this what you had in mind for me to wear for this?
Max: It looks just fine.
Mona: Yeah, you look good.
(We hear a knock at the door. Max goes and looks through the peephole.)
Max: (to person at the door) Just a second! (to Vinnie) Okay, you're surprise is here. And if things go well enough, you can "unwrap" it later.
(Max opens the door to reveal... Violet, the hooker from Max's apartment building in MP2.)
Violet: Oh, hi Max.
Max: Hello, Violet. Come right in.
(Violet sashays in.)
Max: Vinnie, this is Violet, your "surprise."
Vinnie: (blushing a bit) Uhhh... hello.
Max: Violet, meet Vinnie Gognitti.
(Violet walks over to Vinnie.)
Violet: Pleased to meet you, Vinnie.
Vinnie: (smiling) Likewise. (shakes her hand)
Max: Vinnie, I felt a bit bad about laughing at you yesterday regarding the other night, so I set you up with Violet. She's a neighbor of mine. (Gives Vinnie a small stack of money.) Here's some money to show her a good time. As far as where you'll be going, I'll leave that decision in your capable hands.
Vinnie: Wow! I don't know what to say. (takes the money)
Violet: So... where are we going tonight, Vinnie?
Vinnie: Well, ah, there's this great restaurant up in Brooklyn. I know the owner. It's the same guy that owns that jazz club in Soho I took you guys to.
Vladimir: Oh, really?
Vinnie: Yeah. It serves the best calamari. Then they're havin' a Captain Baseball Bat Boy cartoon festival in Battery Park. We could go see that. And I guess I could take you to the jazz club in Soho to top off the evening. Whaddya say?
Violet: Ooooo, I love Captain Baseball Bat Boy, and jazz, and calamari.
Vinnie: Well, then, let's go. See ya later, guys.
Mona: Bye Vinnie.
Annie: Have fun, Vinnie.
(Casa di Angelo, Brooklyn, around a quarter 'til seven)
(Vinnie and Violet enter the restaurant, where the maitre D' greets them.)
Maitre D' (Fats): Oh, hey, Vinnie. Ain't seen ya in a while.
Vinnie: Hey, Fats. Listen, is the boss around? I'd like to see him. (whispering) I'm kinda on a special date.
Fats: Sure. I'll get him for ya.
(Fats disappears, and soon the owner – Angelo Punchinello, from MP1 – comes out, followed by Fats.)
Angelo: Vinnie, long time, no see, buddy.
Vinnie: Angelo! (Kisses him on both cheeks, Italian-style.)
Angelo: And who's the lovely lady?
Vinnie: Oh, this is Violet. She's a friend of a friend. We're kinda on a special date, so I was wondering if you could get us a special table, and maybe a bottle of your best wine.
Angelo: For my best customer, no problem. Fats, show 'em the way.
Fats: Yes, sir.
(Fats shows Vinnie and Violet to a booth with drawn curtains around it. There is a set of two candles burning on the table, and a couple of candle- lamps hanging on the walls around it. Fats seats Vinnie and Violet, then gives them their menus.)
Fats: Here ya go, Vinnie. I'll have your wait-person bring you out our best wine.
Vinnie: Thanks, Fats.
(Fats leaves.)
Vinnie: So, Violet. Whaddya think of this place?
Violet: It's really nice. So, what do you do, Vinnie?
Vinnie: Oh, I, ahh, sell used cars. And I also collect Captain Baseball Bat Boy stuff. I'm gonna get all the stuff, then sell it online and make a fortune.
Violet: Oooo, that sounds sooo exciting.
(The waitress arrives with a bottle of wine.)
Waitress (A.J.): Hi, I'm Allison Jean, but you can just call me A.J. I'll be your waitress this evening. Mr. Punchinello told me about you, Mr. Gognitti, so I brought you out a bottle of Chianti Classico, 1994. It's our finest wine. Would you like to taste it now?
Vinnie: Sure. Unless you wanna taste it, Violet?
Violet: No, that's okay. You go ahead.
(A.J. pours a small amount of wine into Vinnie's glass. Vinnie promptly sips it, and appears to like it.)
A.J.: Well?
Vinnie: Magnifico.
A.J.: Good. (Pours more into Vinnie's glass, and pours a glass for Violet.) Are you guys ready to order, or do you guys need a few more minutes?
Vinnie: Uh, I'm ready. Violet?
Violet: I'm ready, Vinnie.
Vinnie: Okay, go ahead.
Violet: I think I'll have the vegetable lasagna, with house salad and vinaigrette dressing.
A.J.: Good choice. You, sir?
Vinnie: I'll have the Veal Piccatta, with Caesar salad and ranch dressing. Also, could you bring us out some of your best calamari?
A.J.: Sure, no problem.
(A.J. finishes taking down their order, then takes the menus and leaves.)
Vinnie: So Violet, what do you do?
Violet: Oh, I'm in the entertainment business, but I intend to be an actress someday.
Vinnie: Oh, I see. So you're Payne's neighbor, huh?
Violet: Uh-huh. He lives in my building.
Vinnie: Oh, we almost forgot to toast. (Holds up glass of wine.) To what I hope will be a fantastic evening with a fantastic lady.
Violet: (blushing) Cheers. (Clinks her glass with Vinnie's. They both sip.)
Vinnie: Good wine, huh?
Violet: Yes, it is. Thank you for bringing me here.
Vinnie: So, ah, what's Payne like?
Violet: Well, he keeps to himself a lot. I think he drinks a bit much. I heard his family was murdered a few years ago, and he's been haunted by it ever since, but he won't talk about it.
Vinnie: Hmm, interesting.
(A.J. soon arrives with breadsticks, their salads, and an order of calamari.)
A.J.: Here you guys go. House salad with vinaigrette, Caesar salad with ranch, and calamari. Your main courses will be out shortly.
Vinnie: Yeah, thanks, A.J.
(As A.J. leaves, Vinnie takes a piece of calamari and gestures for Violet to try some. She takes some and tries it.)
Violet: Mmmm, this is really good.
Vinnie: Yeah, I told you it was the best. So Violet, whaddya do now in the entertainment business?
Violet: I, uh, entertain guys... professionally.
Vinnie: Entertain guys? Almost sounds like the job description for a hooker or something.
(Vinnie chuckles, until he sees that Violet isn't laughing.)
Vinnie: What? What is it?
Violet: Well, uh, I guess hooker's one way to look at it.
Vinnie: You mean... you are a hooker?
Violet: That's right. Didn't Max tell you?
Vinnie: What the hell? Max said you were a neighbor of his.
Violet: Yes, I am. I just happen to be a working girl too. Don't worry, Max paid your way. You can pay next time.
Vinnie: (through gritted teeth) Violet, wait here for a second.
(Vinnie walks briskly out of the restaurant. Outside, he balls up his fists, takes a very deep breath, and yells at the top of his lungs...)
Vinnie: F(bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep)k!!!!!!!!!
(Meanwhile, at the house)
(We see the gang, eyes and ears raised at the sound.)
Mona: What was that?
Max: Wow! That had to be the longest, loudest profanity I've ever heard.
Vladimir: Where could it have come from?
(Back at the restaurant)
(We see Vinnie walking back inside and returning to the restaurant. Violet is still sitting at their table, and is not looking too pleased.)
Vinnie: Ahh, Violet, I'm all of a sudden not feelin' too good, so I'm gonna take ya home, okay?
Violet: Y'know what? I'm just gonna get a cab. You can just stay here. I'm sure you and your ego will have a really nice time together! (storms off)
Vinnie: (confessional) I can't believe Payne did me like that. I may be desperate, but I ain't so desperate that I gotta pay for it.
(We see Vinnie sitting at the table alone, dejected once more. Soon A.J. comes with the food.)
A.J.: Here you guys go... Hey, what happened to your date?
Vinnie: We, ahh, had a little spat, and she stormed off.
A.J.: Oh. You think she'll be back?
Vinnie: I doubt it. But I don't really care anyway. She wasn't my type.
A.J.: Oh. Well, do you still want your food?
Vinnie: Nah, all of a sudden I lost my appetite. I think I'm gonna just grab my check and go.
A.J.: Oh, okay. I'll have it in just a moment.
(A.J. disappears, then returns with the bill. Vinnie promptly leaves the cash on the table with it, plus leaves a sizeable tip for A.J. He then gets up and leaves.)
Vinnie: (confessional) Y'know, that A.J. was kinda cute. And she seemed really nice too. Maybe I'll come back here, just to see her. But for now, I'm mad at Payne, for settin' me up with a hooker, and leading me to believe that it was a legitimate blind date.
(The house, about 8 PM)
(We see the Vladimir, Mona, and Winterson lounging around watching the tube. Annie and Mike are at the dining room table chatting, and Max is nowhere to be found. Soon Vinnie opens the front door – he is pissed.)
Vladimir: Oh, hello, Vinnie. How was your date?
Vinnie: (face frozen, teeth gritted) Where's Payne?
Mona: He's upstairs. Why? What's wrong?
Vinnie: Get me Payne. Bring him to me.
Winterson: Um, Vinnie, don't you think you should... blink first?
(Max comes downstairs. He promptly sees Vinnie.)
Max: Oh, hey Vinnie. You're home early. How was your date?
Vinnie: It was a real kick in the head. Here, lemme show ya.
(Vladimir promptly gets up and stands in front of him, to prevent him from getting to Max.)
Vladimir: Heyy, Vinnie. Here's an idea: how about we all sit down and you can tell us all about it.
Vinnie: (ignoring Vladimir) Why'd ya do it, Payne? Why!?
Max: Do what, Vinnie?
Vinnie: Do what? Do what!? YOU SET ME UP WITH A HOOKER, THAT'S WHAT!
Max: Hmm, Violet blurted it out like steam from a teakettle.
Vinnie: I might notta been so angry if you'd a'told me she was a hooker to begin with, but you lied to me. You led me to believe she was a blind date.
Max: Look, Vinnie. I was just trying to help.
Vinnie: Oh, you were trying to help, huh? How? Like the guy who helps make sure the noose is tight before they hang you!? Huh!? Well, THANK YOU SO MUCH! HOW CAN I EVER REPAY YOU!?
Mona: Vinnie, now just calm down...
Vinnie: Butt out, Mona!
Max: Vinnie, please. All right, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Violet. But I just... wanted you to have a date. I just... didn't want you to feel left out.
Vinnie: Well, good f(bleep)king job, Payne! Good f(bleep)king job! (storms off up the stairs)
Max: Vinnie, come on. We can fix this...
Vinnie: No! No more fixing! I don't want anymore of your "help," Payne! Leave me alone! (disappears up the stairs)
(We see the gang all glaring at Max.)
Max: What? Why are you all mad at me? I was just trying to find Vinnie a date for you guys.
Vladimir: I knew it when you used the term "booked." How could you, Max?
Winterson: Yeah, Max. Why'd you do him like that?
Max: Come on, do you really think a girl like that would go out with any of us, let alone him, if she wasn't getting paid?
Mona: You could've asked someone else. Or let one of us fix him up, if that would've been just sooo difficult for you.
Max: Look, I apologized to him about it, okay? I can't go back in time and erase this. What do you want?
Annie: Do you not see what you did wrong here?
Max: What, besides not tell Vinnie she was a hooker?
Annie: Finding out she was a hooker probably left him feeling cheap and degraded. It hurt his feelings, even though he probably doesn't want to admit it. And you need to find some way to fix it.
Max: I apologized. What am I supposed to do, buy him a necklace?
Winterson: You could. Or you could just apologize again.
Mike: Yes, that is a good idea. Apologize again.
Vladimir: But do it later, after Vinnie cools off a bit.
Max: (after a brief pause) All right. I'll do it tomorrow. That way, we can both sleep on it, and hopefully it will go better.
MTV Announcer: Coming up, on the next episode of The Real World... Will Vinnie forgive Max?... And will he work up the nerve to ask A.J. out?... And what's in store for Vlad regarding Winterson's pregnancy? Find out, on our next episode of The Real World.
As usual, R&R's are always welcome.
This stuff is fiction, not true.
And now, episode VII of Max Payne & Co. present...
The Real World
MTV Director: (after waiting a long while) Hey, yo, Max!
Max: (hung over) What... the construction site...
MTV Director: We're on the air, Max!
Max: Oh, sorry. This is the story...
Mona: of seven strangers...
Vladimir: (hung over too) picked to live in a house (god, my head is killing me)...
Vinnie: (also hung over) How the hell did I get this bruise on my forehead... I mean, uh, have their lives taped...
Winterson: Find out what happens...
Mike: (hung over as well) Coffee... COFFEE!!!
Annie: and start being real...
Everyone: (who doesn't miss their cue) The Real World: New York.
(The house, around noon)
(We see Mona in the kitchen, making dry toast and coffee – LOTS of coffee. Max shows up momentarily.)
Mona: Oh, hello Max. Welcome back to the land of the living.
Max: Is that coffee I smell? I need some like people in hell need ice cubes.
Mona: Help yourself. And have some toast, maybe it'll help you too.
Max: Thanks. (Pours a cup of coffee and takes a slice of toast.)
(Vladimir comes down.)
Vladimir: (hung over, rubbing his forehead vigorously) Mona, dearest of all my friends, let me have some coffee.
Mona: Sure, Vlad. Help yourself.
(Vladimir pours himself a cup of coffee and grabs some toast. As he sits at the table, Mike comes down, also hung over.)
Mike: Coffee... COFFEE!!!
Mona: On the counter, Mike.
(Mike gets himself some coffee and some toast. He then sits down. Soon Vinnie shows up. He has a nasty bruise on his forehead.)
Vinnie: Owww, my head. What the hell happened?
Mona: Well, let's see. You were passed out drunk on the floor, so you probably hit your head and didn't even feel it.
Vinnie: Yeah, whatever. Coffee!
Mona: On the counter.
(Vinnie gets his cup of coffee and some toast, then sits down. Soon Annie shows up, followed by Winterson.)
Annie: Well, Mike, I guess you guys had some sorta guys' night in, huh?
Mike: Did we? I don't remember much. Just basketball and BJ & the Bear and Vinnie falling on floor.
Vinnie: How did I fall on the floor?
Vladimir: Don't ask.
Vinnie: Ahh, you're probably right.
Winterson: Vlad, I can't believe you got so hammered last night. You must have fallen asleep before you hit the pillow.
Vladimir: Sorry. I guess we all just got a little carried away.
Winterson: I'll say.
Max: Good god, my head feels two sizes too small for my brain. I'm never drinking like that again.
Mona: Well, I hope so, Max. Cause I'm not doing this again.
Max: Okay.
Vladimir: I never really got to ask you, how did you girls' evening out go?
Annie: It was pretty tight.
Mona: Uh-huh. Winterson had a little bit of a stomach ache, and a few creeps tried to hit on us.
Annie: Yeah, a couple of creeps in pin-stripe suits, and some guy named Rico. He even gave Mona a business card.
(Mona takes out a card and shows it to the gang. It reads, "RICO MUERTE – BIG TIME HUSTLER.")
Max: Huh?
Mona: I don't even wanna know.
Vladimir: So Winterson, is your stomach feeling better?
Winterson: Uhh, not really. But it's okay. I'm gonna go see the doctor about it.
Vladimir: Want me to drive you?
Winterson: No thanks! I mean, uh, I'll just use the network limo.
Vladimir: Oh... okay.
Max: Oh, by the way, Vinnie, your surprise is coming tonight at around six, and you'll want to look nice for it.
Vinnie: Man, it must be some surprise.
Max: Oh, it is.
(Later that afternoon)
(We see Winterson finishing getting ready to go to her doctor's appointment. She is wearing her pant-suit again, with her hair pulled back in her trademark style. She is finishing putting on her makeup. She then goes downstairs.)
Winterson: Bye, guys. I'm off to my appointment.
Max: Okay, see ya later.
Vladimir: Winterson, are you sure you don't want me to come with you?
Winterson: No, that's okay, Vlad. It's just a stomach ache. I'll be fine.
Mona: Bye, Winterson.
Winterson: See you guys later.
(The doctor's office, about an hour or so later.)
(Winterson is waiting inside one of the small rooms. The doctor comes in momentarily.)
Winterson: So... what's the word?
Doctor Magdalena: Congratulations. You know who the father is?
Winterson: Ohh, I do indeed.
Winterson: (confessional) My plan for Vlad is working perfectly. I'll tell Vlad about the kid in a day or two, after I make a couple of calls.
(We see Winterson riding in the limo returning to the house. She is talking on her cell phone.)
Winterson: Hey, it's me... Yes, it has been a while... I'm fine. Listen, I need you guys here ASAP... There's this guy, he, uh... Yeah, that's it... Well, I might need your help with that... Yes, come on over... You guys know what to bring, right?... Yeah, that's it... Okay, great. Thanks. Bye. (hangs up)
(The house, early that evening)
(Winterson enters the house, where everyone except Vinnie is lounging around in the living room.)
Mona: Oh, hey Winterson.
Winterson: Hi, guys. What's up?
Vladimir: How did your doctor's appointment go?
Winterson: It's fine. Just a little, um, virus. The doctor gave me a couple of tablets. I'm fine now.
Vladimir: That's good.
Winterson: You guys look like your feeling better.
Mike: Yes, we are. Thanks for asking.
Winterson: Where's Vinnie?
Max: He's upstairs, getting dolled up for his "surprise."
Winterson: Oh, that's right. That's tonight, isn't it?
Max: Right, she should be here any second now.
(Vinnie comes down. He is wearing a dark suit with a butterfly-collared silk shirt. It is the suit he was wearing in MP1.)
Vinnie: Hey guys.
Max: Hey Vinnie. Your surprise will be here any minute now.
Vinnie: How do I look? Is this what you had in mind for me to wear for this?
Max: It looks just fine.
Mona: Yeah, you look good.
(We hear a knock at the door. Max goes and looks through the peephole.)
Max: (to person at the door) Just a second! (to Vinnie) Okay, you're surprise is here. And if things go well enough, you can "unwrap" it later.
(Max opens the door to reveal... Violet, the hooker from Max's apartment building in MP2.)
Violet: Oh, hi Max.
Max: Hello, Violet. Come right in.
(Violet sashays in.)
Max: Vinnie, this is Violet, your "surprise."
Vinnie: (blushing a bit) Uhhh... hello.
Max: Violet, meet Vinnie Gognitti.
(Violet walks over to Vinnie.)
Violet: Pleased to meet you, Vinnie.
Vinnie: (smiling) Likewise. (shakes her hand)
Max: Vinnie, I felt a bit bad about laughing at you yesterday regarding the other night, so I set you up with Violet. She's a neighbor of mine. (Gives Vinnie a small stack of money.) Here's some money to show her a good time. As far as where you'll be going, I'll leave that decision in your capable hands.
Vinnie: Wow! I don't know what to say. (takes the money)
Violet: So... where are we going tonight, Vinnie?
Vinnie: Well, ah, there's this great restaurant up in Brooklyn. I know the owner. It's the same guy that owns that jazz club in Soho I took you guys to.
Vladimir: Oh, really?
Vinnie: Yeah. It serves the best calamari. Then they're havin' a Captain Baseball Bat Boy cartoon festival in Battery Park. We could go see that. And I guess I could take you to the jazz club in Soho to top off the evening. Whaddya say?
Violet: Ooooo, I love Captain Baseball Bat Boy, and jazz, and calamari.
Vinnie: Well, then, let's go. See ya later, guys.
Mona: Bye Vinnie.
Annie: Have fun, Vinnie.
(Casa di Angelo, Brooklyn, around a quarter 'til seven)
(Vinnie and Violet enter the restaurant, where the maitre D' greets them.)
Maitre D' (Fats): Oh, hey, Vinnie. Ain't seen ya in a while.
Vinnie: Hey, Fats. Listen, is the boss around? I'd like to see him. (whispering) I'm kinda on a special date.
Fats: Sure. I'll get him for ya.
(Fats disappears, and soon the owner – Angelo Punchinello, from MP1 – comes out, followed by Fats.)
Angelo: Vinnie, long time, no see, buddy.
Vinnie: Angelo! (Kisses him on both cheeks, Italian-style.)
Angelo: And who's the lovely lady?
Vinnie: Oh, this is Violet. She's a friend of a friend. We're kinda on a special date, so I was wondering if you could get us a special table, and maybe a bottle of your best wine.
Angelo: For my best customer, no problem. Fats, show 'em the way.
Fats: Yes, sir.
(Fats shows Vinnie and Violet to a booth with drawn curtains around it. There is a set of two candles burning on the table, and a couple of candle- lamps hanging on the walls around it. Fats seats Vinnie and Violet, then gives them their menus.)
Fats: Here ya go, Vinnie. I'll have your wait-person bring you out our best wine.
Vinnie: Thanks, Fats.
(Fats leaves.)
Vinnie: So, Violet. Whaddya think of this place?
Violet: It's really nice. So, what do you do, Vinnie?
Vinnie: Oh, I, ahh, sell used cars. And I also collect Captain Baseball Bat Boy stuff. I'm gonna get all the stuff, then sell it online and make a fortune.
Violet: Oooo, that sounds sooo exciting.
(The waitress arrives with a bottle of wine.)
Waitress (A.J.): Hi, I'm Allison Jean, but you can just call me A.J. I'll be your waitress this evening. Mr. Punchinello told me about you, Mr. Gognitti, so I brought you out a bottle of Chianti Classico, 1994. It's our finest wine. Would you like to taste it now?
Vinnie: Sure. Unless you wanna taste it, Violet?
Violet: No, that's okay. You go ahead.
(A.J. pours a small amount of wine into Vinnie's glass. Vinnie promptly sips it, and appears to like it.)
A.J.: Well?
Vinnie: Magnifico.
A.J.: Good. (Pours more into Vinnie's glass, and pours a glass for Violet.) Are you guys ready to order, or do you guys need a few more minutes?
Vinnie: Uh, I'm ready. Violet?
Violet: I'm ready, Vinnie.
Vinnie: Okay, go ahead.
Violet: I think I'll have the vegetable lasagna, with house salad and vinaigrette dressing.
A.J.: Good choice. You, sir?
Vinnie: I'll have the Veal Piccatta, with Caesar salad and ranch dressing. Also, could you bring us out some of your best calamari?
A.J.: Sure, no problem.
(A.J. finishes taking down their order, then takes the menus and leaves.)
Vinnie: So Violet, what do you do?
Violet: Oh, I'm in the entertainment business, but I intend to be an actress someday.
Vinnie: Oh, I see. So you're Payne's neighbor, huh?
Violet: Uh-huh. He lives in my building.
Vinnie: Oh, we almost forgot to toast. (Holds up glass of wine.) To what I hope will be a fantastic evening with a fantastic lady.
Violet: (blushing) Cheers. (Clinks her glass with Vinnie's. They both sip.)
Vinnie: Good wine, huh?
Violet: Yes, it is. Thank you for bringing me here.
Vinnie: So, ah, what's Payne like?
Violet: Well, he keeps to himself a lot. I think he drinks a bit much. I heard his family was murdered a few years ago, and he's been haunted by it ever since, but he won't talk about it.
Vinnie: Hmm, interesting.
(A.J. soon arrives with breadsticks, their salads, and an order of calamari.)
A.J.: Here you guys go. House salad with vinaigrette, Caesar salad with ranch, and calamari. Your main courses will be out shortly.
Vinnie: Yeah, thanks, A.J.
(As A.J. leaves, Vinnie takes a piece of calamari and gestures for Violet to try some. She takes some and tries it.)
Violet: Mmmm, this is really good.
Vinnie: Yeah, I told you it was the best. So Violet, whaddya do now in the entertainment business?
Violet: I, uh, entertain guys... professionally.
Vinnie: Entertain guys? Almost sounds like the job description for a hooker or something.
(Vinnie chuckles, until he sees that Violet isn't laughing.)
Vinnie: What? What is it?
Violet: Well, uh, I guess hooker's one way to look at it.
Vinnie: You mean... you are a hooker?
Violet: That's right. Didn't Max tell you?
Vinnie: What the hell? Max said you were a neighbor of his.
Violet: Yes, I am. I just happen to be a working girl too. Don't worry, Max paid your way. You can pay next time.
Vinnie: (through gritted teeth) Violet, wait here for a second.
(Vinnie walks briskly out of the restaurant. Outside, he balls up his fists, takes a very deep breath, and yells at the top of his lungs...)
Vinnie: F(bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep)k!!!!!!!!!
(Meanwhile, at the house)
(We see the gang, eyes and ears raised at the sound.)
Mona: What was that?
Max: Wow! That had to be the longest, loudest profanity I've ever heard.
Vladimir: Where could it have come from?
(Back at the restaurant)
(We see Vinnie walking back inside and returning to the restaurant. Violet is still sitting at their table, and is not looking too pleased.)
Vinnie: Ahh, Violet, I'm all of a sudden not feelin' too good, so I'm gonna take ya home, okay?
Violet: Y'know what? I'm just gonna get a cab. You can just stay here. I'm sure you and your ego will have a really nice time together! (storms off)
Vinnie: (confessional) I can't believe Payne did me like that. I may be desperate, but I ain't so desperate that I gotta pay for it.
(We see Vinnie sitting at the table alone, dejected once more. Soon A.J. comes with the food.)
A.J.: Here you guys go... Hey, what happened to your date?
Vinnie: We, ahh, had a little spat, and she stormed off.
A.J.: Oh. You think she'll be back?
Vinnie: I doubt it. But I don't really care anyway. She wasn't my type.
A.J.: Oh. Well, do you still want your food?
Vinnie: Nah, all of a sudden I lost my appetite. I think I'm gonna just grab my check and go.
A.J.: Oh, okay. I'll have it in just a moment.
(A.J. disappears, then returns with the bill. Vinnie promptly leaves the cash on the table with it, plus leaves a sizeable tip for A.J. He then gets up and leaves.)
Vinnie: (confessional) Y'know, that A.J. was kinda cute. And she seemed really nice too. Maybe I'll come back here, just to see her. But for now, I'm mad at Payne, for settin' me up with a hooker, and leading me to believe that it was a legitimate blind date.
(The house, about 8 PM)
(We see the Vladimir, Mona, and Winterson lounging around watching the tube. Annie and Mike are at the dining room table chatting, and Max is nowhere to be found. Soon Vinnie opens the front door – he is pissed.)
Vladimir: Oh, hello, Vinnie. How was your date?
Vinnie: (face frozen, teeth gritted) Where's Payne?
Mona: He's upstairs. Why? What's wrong?
Vinnie: Get me Payne. Bring him to me.
Winterson: Um, Vinnie, don't you think you should... blink first?
(Max comes downstairs. He promptly sees Vinnie.)
Max: Oh, hey Vinnie. You're home early. How was your date?
Vinnie: It was a real kick in the head. Here, lemme show ya.
(Vladimir promptly gets up and stands in front of him, to prevent him from getting to Max.)
Vladimir: Heyy, Vinnie. Here's an idea: how about we all sit down and you can tell us all about it.
Vinnie: (ignoring Vladimir) Why'd ya do it, Payne? Why!?
Max: Do what, Vinnie?
Vinnie: Do what? Do what!? YOU SET ME UP WITH A HOOKER, THAT'S WHAT!
Max: Hmm, Violet blurted it out like steam from a teakettle.
Vinnie: I might notta been so angry if you'd a'told me she was a hooker to begin with, but you lied to me. You led me to believe she was a blind date.
Max: Look, Vinnie. I was just trying to help.
Vinnie: Oh, you were trying to help, huh? How? Like the guy who helps make sure the noose is tight before they hang you!? Huh!? Well, THANK YOU SO MUCH! HOW CAN I EVER REPAY YOU!?
Mona: Vinnie, now just calm down...
Vinnie: Butt out, Mona!
Max: Vinnie, please. All right, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Violet. But I just... wanted you to have a date. I just... didn't want you to feel left out.
Vinnie: Well, good f(bleep)king job, Payne! Good f(bleep)king job! (storms off up the stairs)
Max: Vinnie, come on. We can fix this...
Vinnie: No! No more fixing! I don't want anymore of your "help," Payne! Leave me alone! (disappears up the stairs)
(We see the gang all glaring at Max.)
Max: What? Why are you all mad at me? I was just trying to find Vinnie a date for you guys.
Vladimir: I knew it when you used the term "booked." How could you, Max?
Winterson: Yeah, Max. Why'd you do him like that?
Max: Come on, do you really think a girl like that would go out with any of us, let alone him, if she wasn't getting paid?
Mona: You could've asked someone else. Or let one of us fix him up, if that would've been just sooo difficult for you.
Max: Look, I apologized to him about it, okay? I can't go back in time and erase this. What do you want?
Annie: Do you not see what you did wrong here?
Max: What, besides not tell Vinnie she was a hooker?
Annie: Finding out she was a hooker probably left him feeling cheap and degraded. It hurt his feelings, even though he probably doesn't want to admit it. And you need to find some way to fix it.
Max: I apologized. What am I supposed to do, buy him a necklace?
Winterson: You could. Or you could just apologize again.
Mike: Yes, that is a good idea. Apologize again.
Vladimir: But do it later, after Vinnie cools off a bit.
Max: (after a brief pause) All right. I'll do it tomorrow. That way, we can both sleep on it, and hopefully it will go better.
MTV Announcer: Coming up, on the next episode of The Real World... Will Vinnie forgive Max?... And will he work up the nerve to ask A.J. out?... And what's in store for Vlad regarding Winterson's pregnancy? Find out, on our next episode of The Real World.
As usual, R&R's are always welcome.