1The Odyssey of Amarao
Chapter Six: The Passion Of The El Carlos
"I kinda feel sorry for El Carlos.", sighed Amarao. "I mean, we all treat him like a worthless piece of fecal matter."
Mini-Odie just stared and scratched his head. "I don't get any of what ye just said laddy."
"It means we treat him like shit.", said Odie, laughing and opening up a can of Red Bull. "Anyway, when do you think he is going to grace us with being awake?"
"I don't care if and when the little lech wakes up.", replied Maddy. "He really needs to be rewired. Anyway, I do like his snazzy new paint job!"
El Carlos suddenly woke up and checked out his surroundings and his new paint job. "WHAAAAA! NOT PINK! I LOOK LIKE A CHEAP HOOKER!", screamed Carlos. "AND WHY CANT I GET DOWN OFF THE WALL?"
"Uh...", snickered Odie. "Me and Mini-Odie magnetically charged your back so you would stick to the walls of the ship. Then we took turns doing the Jabba the Hut look at my favorite wall ornament scene from Star Wars. And then drank Red Bull till we passed out after laughing ourselves stupid. Why do you ask?"
"Gee, why do I ask?", growled Carlos. "Maybe its because you two smacktards stuck me to a wall! And who painted me?"
"That would be me.", replied Maddy. "Funny thing, El Carlos, you talk in your sleep. And well I think we both know the rest, everyone else herd what I did."
"Oh, that...", laughed Carlos nervously. "Yea, uh sorry about that, it just kinda happened. So I had one or two dozen dreams about you and me and Caroline, big deal..."
"I will set you ablaze right now!", said Amarao. "Don't ever think about that again, El Carlos, or I will set you on fire and throw your pink ass into space. I have always wanted to test the effectiveness of an El Carlos missile."
"Is this were I go, Oh god! Don't kill me?", asked Carlos.
"No, this is where I am nice, let you down and you go drink your self stupid.", replied Amarao. "Sound good?"
"Yes, very much so.", clapped Carlos. "Now, let me down."
Amarao took his signature cattle prod and zapped El Carlos down off the wall and he ran off to go find a bar.
"Uh, Commander Amarao, there are no bars open today on this port.", laughed Maddy. "You know that right?"
"Yep.", said Amarao. "But he will try everyplace to get a drink, so this should make for an interesting story."
Odie suddenly got a glint in his eye. "Hey Commander.", Odie asked. "Me and Mini-Odie got tickets to a Everclear concert, so we will be gone for a while, mmkay?"
"Thats fine.", replied Amarao. "I got something I want to do anyway."
"No you don't.", said Maddy. "Someone has to stay behind on the ship and I was going to go hit up the Otaku's Corner. I need some anime!"
"Go right ahead then, dear Maddy.", said Amarao. "I will stay here then, I guess."
Maddy hugged and kissed Amarao. "Thank you very much, Amarao. I will bring you something back nice."
So Amarao was left alone, and the crew was out having fun without him yet again. Amarao cranked up his radio and sat there singing to one of his all time favorite songs, Under The Bridge by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. "Its hard to believe that theres nobody out there, its hard to believe that Im all alone.", Amarao sung. "At least I have her now.....Maddy..." The song now skipped to Audioslave's What You Are and Amarao got up and danced around wildly.
While all of this was happening, Maddy had snuck back to spy on her boyfriend. She saw him dancing around and tried not to laugh. This became even harder when he started to break dance.
"Wow, he is pretty good at that.", thought Maddy. "Maybe Amarao will teach me how to do that sometime." Happy with watching Amarao, Maddy went on to buy her anime, laughing hard as she left earshot.
Meanwhile, Mr.Lostman is growing tired of being a pirate.
"Tara, I think its time we gave it up.", sighed Mr.Lostman. "We aren't very good pirates."
"Master, we haven't tried to steal anything.", said Tara. "We could be great at the art."
"Your right, Tara.", Lostman said, giving her a hug. "You're the best."
Tara simply blushed and ran off. "Oh no!", she thought. "Im falling in love with him! I must be freaking nuts!"
Mr.Lostman looked over his shoulder and thought, "Wonder what her problem is." Lostman now turned his attention to a bigger threat. "Hmm, the radar has been showing large masses of things... just what these things are is beyond me. A time will soon come when noone will be safe from their wrath. The full force of Plan 9 is on its way and they will be unstoppable. Now where is Mr.Fitzsimonds?"
A while later, El Carlos had wondered back to the deck of the Endostar Runner and he was in a grumpy mood.
"Heh, here we go.", thought Amarao. "This will be good for a laugh."
"Commander!", exclaimed Carlos. "I am never going back to that so called bar ever again! What a waste!"
"Oh really?", asked Amarao. "You found a bar you didn't like. It's the apocalypse."
"You should have been there! The bartenders where stupid!", replied Carlos. "I ask the guy for a screwdriver, and he gives me a actual screwdriver! I tell him I want to get hammered and he hits me with a hammer! I told him to give me a martini and he gave me a can of paint! I should complain to the manager!"
Amarao lost it. He doubled over laughing and was in tears. "That was a hardware store, El Carlos. Honestly, even you should know the difference!"
"But it looked like a great bar it had these giant drink shakers behind the counter!", whined Carlos. "Hey shut the hell up Amarao! I seriously need a drink!"
"Im sorry, but uh, I had to have revenge.", said Amarao, wiping a tear from his eye. "After all you put Maddy and me through this was only fair. Granted it was mean, and Im sorry, but this was supposed to teach you a lesson."
"What is that?", asked Carlos. "How to tell a bar from a hardware store?"
"No...", Amarao replied, handing El Carlos a fifth of Vodka. "And the lesson isnt important, just drink this and forget this all happened."
"So tell me really.", said Carlos. "How far have you gotten with Maddy?"
"Well...", replied Amarao. "Hey theres a keg in the cargo bay, help yourself."
"Hey thanks, Commander.", said Carlos, running to the cargo bay.
"Man, is he gullible.", though Amarao, pressing a button releasing the cargo bay doors. "A few minutes clinging for dear life outta set him straight."
"AMARAO!", shouted Carlos over the intercom, holding on hard to a bar on the side of the cargo bay, trying not to be sucked out. "YOU LIED! THERE WAS NO KEG! YOU OWE ME A KEG DAMN IT!"
For now, life is normal for the crew, but they creep ever closer to a date with destiny.