Disclaimers: Okay, you know the drill. Don't own this stuff; Rockstar and
MTV do.
This is fiction, not fact.
Wow! I can't believe we're this far. Episode X of Max Payne & Co. present...
The Real World
Max: This is the story...
Mona: of seven strangers...
Vinnie: picked to live in a house...
Annie: and have their lives taped.
Mike: Find out what happens...
Vinnie: when people stop being polite...
Max: and start being real...
Everyone: The Real World: New York
(The house, morning)
(We see Mona in the kitchen, eating some toast. Max soon shows up. He looks surprisingly healthy, considering the fight last night, with a very small cut on his cheek.)
Max: Good morning, Mona.
Mona: Hey, Max. You feeling okay?
Max: Yeah, surprisingly. I only got a small cut on my face. The other guys look okay too.
Mona: That's good. Man, that was some night last night, wasn't it?
Max: Yes, it was. If it never happens for a googolplex of years, it'll be too soon.
Mona: Right.
(Annie & Mike come down to join the two.)
Mona: Oh, hey Annie. Hey Mike.
Annie: 'Sup, crew.
Mike: Good morning, folks.
Annie: You feelin' better, Max?
Max: Yes. I am. Thanks for asking. What about you guys?
Mike: I'm okay. I keep those varmints off me.
Max: Well, thanks for sticking up for me. Sorry again about letting that guy get to me. I should have just let him go like a bumblebee in a jar.
Annie: Hey, don't worry about it, Max. It's over and done with. I'm just glad everyone's okay.
Max: Thanks.
(Vinnie comes down. He looks a little smug.)
Vinnie: Hey gang. Some night last night, wasn't it?
Max: Sure, Vinnie. I guess.
Vinnie: Hey Mike, you sure handled yourself well against those punks.
Mike: Thanks. You too Vinnie.
Vinnie: Well, ya know, gotta protect my pals.
Mona: (quickly changing the subject) C'mon guys. We gotta get this place cleaned up before Kaufman and the new guest arrive.
Vinnie: Oh yeah, let's go.
(We hear No Doubt's "Sunday Morning" playing in the background while we see the gang vacuuming, taking out trash, making the beds, dusting tables and wiping down counters. Vinnie tidies up his part of the room, especially his Captain Baseball Bat Boy collection. Soon the gang finishes.)
Max: Done!
Mona: Wow, we really spit-shined this place in a jiffy, didn't we?
Max: Sure. Like a rain through a dustbowl in the middle of the Midwest during a drought.
(We hear a knock at the door.)
Max: Okay, that's Kaufman and the other guest.
Vinnie: You wanna do the honors, Payne?
Max: Sure.
(Max goes over and opens the door to reveal Kaufman and what appears to be Mona, behind him. Kaufman is wearing a tailor-made Armani suit, and his "Squeaky Cleaning Company" baseball cap.)
Max: Kaufman! Long time, no see. Nice suit, buddy. I guess your new cleaning company's doing well.
Kaufman: Yep.
Max: (seeing "Mona" behind Kaufman) Mona? What are you doing outside? Did you see the new guest?
"Mona": Uhh, I'm the new guest.
Max: C'mon, Mona. Stop fooling around. Where's the other guest?
Mona: (hearing the commotion from inside) Max, what's going on?
(Mona steps outside and sees "Mona." She shrieks with excitement.)
Mona: Oh my... Lisa!!
"Mona" (Lisa): Mona!!
(They both hug each other excitedly. The others are completely dumbfounded.)
Max: Mona? You have a twin?
Vinnie: As I live and breathe.
Mona: Guys, this is my twin sister, Lisa Punchinello.
Vinnie: Punchinello? Any relation to Angelo Punchinello, who owns Angelo's Jazz Club and Casa di Angelo?
Lisa: Yeah. He's my husband.
Vinnie: Wow! You're Angelo's wife. I know Angelo. He's a friend of mine.
Lisa: Interesting.
Vinnie: Oh, I'm Vinnie, by the way. Vinnie Gognitti.
Lisa: Nice to meet you. (Shakes Vinnie's hand)
Mona: Well, Lisa. I guess you've already met Kaufman here, and Vinnie. (points to everyone else around the room) This is Max Payne, Annie Finn, and Mike "the Cowboy."
Max: Nice to meet you, Lisa.
Annie: How you doin', Lisa?
Mike: Howdy, ma'am. (tips his hat)
Lisa: Nice to meet you, guys.
Mona: Well, Lisa, I guess you're gonna wanna put your stuff up and get settled in. You too, Kaufman. Are we gonna have them share Vlad and Winterson's room together, or what?
Lisa: Oooo, I don't know. My husband might not like me sharing a room with another guy. No offense, Kaufman.
Kaufman: It's okay.
Mona: Hmmm, I suppose you could room with me. Max... uhh, you mind changing rooms so Lisa can room with me?
Max: Sure, no problem. You two probably need to catch up like a crippled old man to a bullet train.
Mona: Thanks Max. So how are we gonna change things up?
Kaufman: I'll room with Max.
Max: (confessional) Uh oh. This doesn't sound too good. Too "Deliverance"- y.
Max: Ummmm, I don't know...
Kaufman: I'll behave.
(Vinnie and Mike snicker a bit.)
Max: Oh, all right. I'll room with Kaufman. But I expect a domino game out of this. You still owe me a rematch.
Kaufman: Okay.
Mona: Great. It's settled. Let's get started.
(We see Max and Kaufman put all their stuff in Vlad and Winterson's old room, while Mona is helping Lisa move her stuff into her room. Vinnie, Mike, and Annie also pitch in, and they are soon finished. We then see them lounging around in the living room.)
Kaufman: Where's Vladimir and Winterson?
Mona: Oh, they didn't tell you? Vlad and Winterson are married.
Vinnie: Not by Vlad's choice, though.
Lisa: Who are Vlad and Winterson?
Mona: Oh, they're the two guests you and Kaufman are replacing. Vlad had somehow gotten Winterson pregnant, even though he was wearing a condom. So Winterson's parents showed up and forced Vlad to marry her.
Max: Yeah. We had a shotgun wedding right here in this living room, and haven't heard from them since.
Annie: Yeah, Winterson was kinda controlling of Vlad. She wasn't too cool with Vlad doin' his own thing.
Kaufman: Too bad. I liked Vlad.
Max: Wow. You and Mona are twins. I can't get over it. It's like the way a drunk sees a pretty girl.
Lisa: (giggling) Thanks, Max.
Mona: (smiling a little) Oh Max, stop being such a flirt.
Lisa: (confessional) This is pretty cool, seeing Mona again. Plus the rest of the guys seem pretty cool. I think this is gonna be fun.
Vinnie: So Kaufman, I hear your new cleaning company is doing real well.
Kaufman: Mmm-hmmm. We're a Fortune 500 Company.
Max: Really? So soon? Wow, you're quite the entrepreneur. No wonder your wearing a suit that fits you like a silk toga.
Kaufman: Yep. I'm happy. (though not smiling)
Kaufman: (confessional, still blank-looking) I'm happy to see the gang again. But I miss Vladimir and Winterson.
Mike: So, what do we all want to do today?
Mona: I'm open. Any ideas, anyone?
Annie: I don't know.
Vinnie: Me either.
Mona: Lisa? Kaufman?
Lisa: I'm cool with whatever you guys want.
Kaufman: Me too.
Max: Oh, I know. There's this great building we could go see. They give out tours daily. It's really interesting.
Mona: Oh... yeah, I guess that'd be cool. Okay with you guys?
Lisa: Sure.
Annie: Yeah, a'right.
Mike: Yeah, that sounds like fun.
Vinnie: Let's roll.
(The Asgard Building, Brooklyn)
(We see the gang enter the building lobby. Max goes to the front desk and registers the group for the tour. The lady has gang wait for a couple of minutes on a bench to the side. Soon the tour guide shows up, an old man in a wheelchair – it's Alfred Woden.)
Woden: Missssster Payne. I've been exxxxxxpecting you. (A/N: Not a typo.)
Max: Hi. We're here for the tour.
Woden: Yesssss, come thisssss way.
(The group follows Woden as he leads them through the lobby and towards the elevator, talking to them along the way.)
Woden: Thisss building pre-datesss the city hall by two years, thusss being the oldest building ssssstill in ussssse at the foot of the Brooklyn Bridge.
(The gang nods to each other as Woden continues.)
Woden: Thissss building issss usssed to housssssse many government agenciessss that overssssssee many of our nationssss affairsssss in businessss, financccce, and defensssssse. It issssss home to many sssssenatorsssss, congresssssmen, and other memberssssss of our legissssssslative, exxxxxecutive, and judicial branchesssss of government.
(The gang arrives at the elevator.)
Woden: Firssssst we are going down to sssssssee the bassssssement, where many government filesssss dating back for centuriessssss are houssssssed here.
Max: (confessional) What is the deal with Woden? Does he have to hiss like a viper every time he talks? It's the proverbial fingernails on a chalkboard.
(Woden presses the button. The elevator soon arrives and everyone gets on. He then presses the button to take the elevator down to the basement. When the elevator arrives, he leads the group off. The basement has cabinets as far and as high as the eye can see, and they are full of files.)
Woden: Thissss issss the bassssement. Here we keep filessss going back many centuriesssss. Thisssss bassssement can withssssstand a nuclear blasssssst, ssssso the filessssss will be sssssafe in casssssse there isssss an attack on American ssssssoil.
Vinnie: So, ah, what's in the files?
Woden: That'ssssss classssssified.
Vinnie: Oh.
Kaufman: This place looks dirty. Need someone to clean it?
Woden: (After a brief pause) No.
Kaufman: (confessional) Oh well, had to try.
Woden: Now, let'sssss go up to the library, on the ssssssecond floor.
(Woden leads the gang to the other end of the basement and onto a second elevator. He presses the button for floor two, and everyone rides the elevator up. They get off at the second floor and are in a huge library. Woden stops the group in the center and begins talking again.)
Woden: Here isssss our library. Unlike the bassssement, all of the booksssss in here are free for the public to read. There are many booksssss and other referenccccce materialssss here for almosssst anything you can think of. Go ahead, assssssk me where to find anything.
Vinnie: Captain Baseball Bat Boy scripts.
Woden: Entertainment and Media, sssssecond shhhhelf from the far right.
Lisa: The best restaurants in the city.
Woden: Travel, in the T ssssssection, third shhhhelf from the bottom.
Max: Plans for world domination.
Woden: (thinks for a second) That'ssssss in the basssssement.
Max: Naturally.
Woden: Let'sssss now go up to the third floor, where many of our officessss are.
(Woden leads the gang out of the library and into the hall towards some more elevators. As he is leading everyone, they pass by an older, very ugly woman in a business suit, flanked by two guys in suits, shades, and wearing earpieces. The woman is Nicole Horne, from MP1.)
Woden: Horne.
Horne: Woden.
Mike: (confessional) My lord, she was uglier than t(bleep)ts on a bull.
(Woden and the group arrive at the elevators. Woden calls for an elevator, and when one arrives, he leads the group onto it. He then pushes the button for the third floor, and when the elevator arrives, he and the group get off. They are now inside a hallway with offices on either side of them. Woden stops the group here and talks again.)
Woden: Thessssse are our officessss. Thissss isss where many of the day-to- day operationsssss of our government are conducted. Many senatorsssss, congressssssmen, and cabinet memberssssss work right here on thisssssss floor.
(The gang looks around, impressed.)
Woden: Thisssss endssss the tour. Any questionsssss?
Mona: Is your office on this floor?
Woden: Yessssss, it isssss the large one at the end of the hall. In fact, I give out private tourssssss of it. There'sssss lotssss of room, and a lot of comfy furniture. You and your sissssster (gesturing to Lisa) are welcome to ssssssee it.
Mona: In your dreams, old man.
Woden: Okay. (Falls asleep immediately in his wheelchair, and is snoring. The gang doesn't quite know what to make of it.)
Annie: I guess the tour's over.
Vinnie: Hey, let's go down to the gift shop and grab some souvenirs.
(The gang takes the elevator back down to the lobby. When it arrives, they get off and go immediately into the corner gift shop. We see them picking out postcards, pens, hats, t-shirts, and the like. The group buys them all, and then leaves.)
Annie: (confessional) The building was pretty tight. It was nice doing something with the whole group again. It's been a while since we've done that.
Lisa: (confessional) My sister was right. These guys are pretty cool. I had fun hanging out with them. I hope we can do some more stuff like it.
Max: (confessional) I loved the tour. It was fun, even with Woden talking like a tire with a nail in it... Man, that Horne lady was ugly. I'd say someone didn't have any friends when she was a kid. She looked a little spooky too. Someone should keep an eye on her.
(The house, that evening.)
(We see the gang lounging around the living room. Vinnie and Mike are watching Captain Baseball Bat Boy; Mona, Annie, and Lisa are in the kitchen, talking; and Max and Kaufman are at the table, playing dominoes – Kaufman is winning.)
Kaufman: (slapping down a domino) Ten.
Max: (writing his score on a piece of paper) Damn. You win again.
Kaufman: Mmm-hmm.
(The two shuffle the dominoes, then begin playing again. Meanwhile, in the kitchen...)
Lisa: So what are we going to do tomorrow?
Annie: I dunno. Any ideas, Mona?
Mona: Uhhh, no. Not really.
Annie: Oh, I know! We haven't had a party here. Let's do that tomorrow night.
Mona: Okay. I'm cool with that. Lisa?
Lisa: Uhh, sure, that'll be fine.
Annie: Let's ask the guys.
(In the living room...)
Vinnie: Woohoo! Kick his ass, Captain Baseball Bat Boy!
Mike: Ha-ha-ha! Take that, Maxwell's Demon.
Annie: Yo guys. Wanna have a little party tomorrow night?
Max: What, here?
Annie: Yeah, we ain't had one yet.
Max: Umm, okay. I guess that'd be okay.
Mona: How 'bout you, Kaufman?
Kaufman: Cool.
Lisa: Hey Vinnie, Mike. How'd you guys feel about having a party tomorrow night?
Mike: Heyyy, that sounds like fun.
Max: Hey Vinnie, tomorrow's Saturday, so you could invite that A.J. chick to it.
Vinnie: All right. Could I call some friends of mine too – ask 'em over?
Annie: Sure, a'right.
Mona: Hey Annie, let's see if we can get Vlad and Winterson to come over too.
Annie: Sure, that'd be cool.
Lisa: I'll invite my husband.
Max: I got a friend or two I can call.
Kaufman: I'll bring some of my cleaning buddies.
Mike: I bring some friends too.
Mona: Wow! This is gonna be some party.
MTV Announcer: Coming up, will the gang throw a great house party? Will Vinnie get that date with A.J.? And will Max ever beat Kaufman at dominoes? Stay tuned for more, on our next episode of The Real World.
Okay, hope this was worth the wait. Please continue to R&R – I love you guys' feedback.
This is fiction, not fact.
Wow! I can't believe we're this far. Episode X of Max Payne & Co. present...
The Real World
Max: This is the story...
Mona: of seven strangers...
Vinnie: picked to live in a house...
Annie: and have their lives taped.
Mike: Find out what happens...
Vinnie: when people stop being polite...
Max: and start being real...
Everyone: The Real World: New York
(The house, morning)
(We see Mona in the kitchen, eating some toast. Max soon shows up. He looks surprisingly healthy, considering the fight last night, with a very small cut on his cheek.)
Max: Good morning, Mona.
Mona: Hey, Max. You feeling okay?
Max: Yeah, surprisingly. I only got a small cut on my face. The other guys look okay too.
Mona: That's good. Man, that was some night last night, wasn't it?
Max: Yes, it was. If it never happens for a googolplex of years, it'll be too soon.
Mona: Right.
(Annie & Mike come down to join the two.)
Mona: Oh, hey Annie. Hey Mike.
Annie: 'Sup, crew.
Mike: Good morning, folks.
Annie: You feelin' better, Max?
Max: Yes. I am. Thanks for asking. What about you guys?
Mike: I'm okay. I keep those varmints off me.
Max: Well, thanks for sticking up for me. Sorry again about letting that guy get to me. I should have just let him go like a bumblebee in a jar.
Annie: Hey, don't worry about it, Max. It's over and done with. I'm just glad everyone's okay.
Max: Thanks.
(Vinnie comes down. He looks a little smug.)
Vinnie: Hey gang. Some night last night, wasn't it?
Max: Sure, Vinnie. I guess.
Vinnie: Hey Mike, you sure handled yourself well against those punks.
Mike: Thanks. You too Vinnie.
Vinnie: Well, ya know, gotta protect my pals.
Mona: (quickly changing the subject) C'mon guys. We gotta get this place cleaned up before Kaufman and the new guest arrive.
Vinnie: Oh yeah, let's go.
(We hear No Doubt's "Sunday Morning" playing in the background while we see the gang vacuuming, taking out trash, making the beds, dusting tables and wiping down counters. Vinnie tidies up his part of the room, especially his Captain Baseball Bat Boy collection. Soon the gang finishes.)
Max: Done!
Mona: Wow, we really spit-shined this place in a jiffy, didn't we?
Max: Sure. Like a rain through a dustbowl in the middle of the Midwest during a drought.
(We hear a knock at the door.)
Max: Okay, that's Kaufman and the other guest.
Vinnie: You wanna do the honors, Payne?
Max: Sure.
(Max goes over and opens the door to reveal Kaufman and what appears to be Mona, behind him. Kaufman is wearing a tailor-made Armani suit, and his "Squeaky Cleaning Company" baseball cap.)
Max: Kaufman! Long time, no see. Nice suit, buddy. I guess your new cleaning company's doing well.
Kaufman: Yep.
Max: (seeing "Mona" behind Kaufman) Mona? What are you doing outside? Did you see the new guest?
"Mona": Uhh, I'm the new guest.
Max: C'mon, Mona. Stop fooling around. Where's the other guest?
Mona: (hearing the commotion from inside) Max, what's going on?
(Mona steps outside and sees "Mona." She shrieks with excitement.)
Mona: Oh my... Lisa!!
"Mona" (Lisa): Mona!!
(They both hug each other excitedly. The others are completely dumbfounded.)
Max: Mona? You have a twin?
Vinnie: As I live and breathe.
Mona: Guys, this is my twin sister, Lisa Punchinello.
Vinnie: Punchinello? Any relation to Angelo Punchinello, who owns Angelo's Jazz Club and Casa di Angelo?
Lisa: Yeah. He's my husband.
Vinnie: Wow! You're Angelo's wife. I know Angelo. He's a friend of mine.
Lisa: Interesting.
Vinnie: Oh, I'm Vinnie, by the way. Vinnie Gognitti.
Lisa: Nice to meet you. (Shakes Vinnie's hand)
Mona: Well, Lisa. I guess you've already met Kaufman here, and Vinnie. (points to everyone else around the room) This is Max Payne, Annie Finn, and Mike "the Cowboy."
Max: Nice to meet you, Lisa.
Annie: How you doin', Lisa?
Mike: Howdy, ma'am. (tips his hat)
Lisa: Nice to meet you, guys.
Mona: Well, Lisa, I guess you're gonna wanna put your stuff up and get settled in. You too, Kaufman. Are we gonna have them share Vlad and Winterson's room together, or what?
Lisa: Oooo, I don't know. My husband might not like me sharing a room with another guy. No offense, Kaufman.
Kaufman: It's okay.
Mona: Hmmm, I suppose you could room with me. Max... uhh, you mind changing rooms so Lisa can room with me?
Max: Sure, no problem. You two probably need to catch up like a crippled old man to a bullet train.
Mona: Thanks Max. So how are we gonna change things up?
Kaufman: I'll room with Max.
Max: (confessional) Uh oh. This doesn't sound too good. Too "Deliverance"- y.
Max: Ummmm, I don't know...
Kaufman: I'll behave.
(Vinnie and Mike snicker a bit.)
Max: Oh, all right. I'll room with Kaufman. But I expect a domino game out of this. You still owe me a rematch.
Kaufman: Okay.
Mona: Great. It's settled. Let's get started.
(We see Max and Kaufman put all their stuff in Vlad and Winterson's old room, while Mona is helping Lisa move her stuff into her room. Vinnie, Mike, and Annie also pitch in, and they are soon finished. We then see them lounging around in the living room.)
Kaufman: Where's Vladimir and Winterson?
Mona: Oh, they didn't tell you? Vlad and Winterson are married.
Vinnie: Not by Vlad's choice, though.
Lisa: Who are Vlad and Winterson?
Mona: Oh, they're the two guests you and Kaufman are replacing. Vlad had somehow gotten Winterson pregnant, even though he was wearing a condom. So Winterson's parents showed up and forced Vlad to marry her.
Max: Yeah. We had a shotgun wedding right here in this living room, and haven't heard from them since.
Annie: Yeah, Winterson was kinda controlling of Vlad. She wasn't too cool with Vlad doin' his own thing.
Kaufman: Too bad. I liked Vlad.
Max: Wow. You and Mona are twins. I can't get over it. It's like the way a drunk sees a pretty girl.
Lisa: (giggling) Thanks, Max.
Mona: (smiling a little) Oh Max, stop being such a flirt.
Lisa: (confessional) This is pretty cool, seeing Mona again. Plus the rest of the guys seem pretty cool. I think this is gonna be fun.
Vinnie: So Kaufman, I hear your new cleaning company is doing real well.
Kaufman: Mmm-hmmm. We're a Fortune 500 Company.
Max: Really? So soon? Wow, you're quite the entrepreneur. No wonder your wearing a suit that fits you like a silk toga.
Kaufman: Yep. I'm happy. (though not smiling)
Kaufman: (confessional, still blank-looking) I'm happy to see the gang again. But I miss Vladimir and Winterson.
Mike: So, what do we all want to do today?
Mona: I'm open. Any ideas, anyone?
Annie: I don't know.
Vinnie: Me either.
Mona: Lisa? Kaufman?
Lisa: I'm cool with whatever you guys want.
Kaufman: Me too.
Max: Oh, I know. There's this great building we could go see. They give out tours daily. It's really interesting.
Mona: Oh... yeah, I guess that'd be cool. Okay with you guys?
Lisa: Sure.
Annie: Yeah, a'right.
Mike: Yeah, that sounds like fun.
Vinnie: Let's roll.
(The Asgard Building, Brooklyn)
(We see the gang enter the building lobby. Max goes to the front desk and registers the group for the tour. The lady has gang wait for a couple of minutes on a bench to the side. Soon the tour guide shows up, an old man in a wheelchair – it's Alfred Woden.)
Woden: Missssster Payne. I've been exxxxxxpecting you. (A/N: Not a typo.)
Max: Hi. We're here for the tour.
Woden: Yesssss, come thisssss way.
(The group follows Woden as he leads them through the lobby and towards the elevator, talking to them along the way.)
Woden: Thisss building pre-datesss the city hall by two years, thusss being the oldest building ssssstill in ussssse at the foot of the Brooklyn Bridge.
(The gang nods to each other as Woden continues.)
Woden: Thissss building issss usssed to housssssse many government agenciessss that overssssssee many of our nationssss affairsssss in businessss, financccce, and defensssssse. It issssss home to many sssssenatorsssss, congresssssmen, and other memberssssss of our legissssssslative, exxxxxecutive, and judicial branchesssss of government.
(The gang arrives at the elevator.)
Woden: Firssssst we are going down to sssssssee the bassssssement, where many government filesssss dating back for centuriessssss are houssssssed here.
Max: (confessional) What is the deal with Woden? Does he have to hiss like a viper every time he talks? It's the proverbial fingernails on a chalkboard.
(Woden presses the button. The elevator soon arrives and everyone gets on. He then presses the button to take the elevator down to the basement. When the elevator arrives, he leads the group off. The basement has cabinets as far and as high as the eye can see, and they are full of files.)
Woden: Thissss issss the bassssement. Here we keep filessss going back many centuriesssss. Thisssss bassssement can withssssstand a nuclear blasssssst, ssssso the filessssss will be sssssafe in casssssse there isssss an attack on American ssssssoil.
Vinnie: So, ah, what's in the files?
Woden: That'ssssss classssssified.
Vinnie: Oh.
Kaufman: This place looks dirty. Need someone to clean it?
Woden: (After a brief pause) No.
Kaufman: (confessional) Oh well, had to try.
Woden: Now, let'sssss go up to the library, on the ssssssecond floor.
(Woden leads the gang to the other end of the basement and onto a second elevator. He presses the button for floor two, and everyone rides the elevator up. They get off at the second floor and are in a huge library. Woden stops the group in the center and begins talking again.)
Woden: Here isssss our library. Unlike the bassssement, all of the booksssss in here are free for the public to read. There are many booksssss and other referenccccce materialssss here for almosssst anything you can think of. Go ahead, assssssk me where to find anything.
Vinnie: Captain Baseball Bat Boy scripts.
Woden: Entertainment and Media, sssssecond shhhhelf from the far right.
Lisa: The best restaurants in the city.
Woden: Travel, in the T ssssssection, third shhhhelf from the bottom.
Max: Plans for world domination.
Woden: (thinks for a second) That'ssssss in the basssssement.
Max: Naturally.
Woden: Let'sssss now go up to the third floor, where many of our officessss are.
(Woden leads the gang out of the library and into the hall towards some more elevators. As he is leading everyone, they pass by an older, very ugly woman in a business suit, flanked by two guys in suits, shades, and wearing earpieces. The woman is Nicole Horne, from MP1.)
Woden: Horne.
Horne: Woden.
Mike: (confessional) My lord, she was uglier than t(bleep)ts on a bull.
(Woden and the group arrive at the elevators. Woden calls for an elevator, and when one arrives, he leads the group onto it. He then pushes the button for the third floor, and when the elevator arrives, he and the group get off. They are now inside a hallway with offices on either side of them. Woden stops the group here and talks again.)
Woden: Thessssse are our officessss. Thissss isss where many of the day-to- day operationsssss of our government are conducted. Many senatorsssss, congressssssmen, and cabinet memberssssss work right here on thisssssss floor.
(The gang looks around, impressed.)
Woden: Thisssss endssss the tour. Any questionsssss?
Mona: Is your office on this floor?
Woden: Yessssss, it isssss the large one at the end of the hall. In fact, I give out private tourssssss of it. There'sssss lotssss of room, and a lot of comfy furniture. You and your sissssster (gesturing to Lisa) are welcome to ssssssee it.
Mona: In your dreams, old man.
Woden: Okay. (Falls asleep immediately in his wheelchair, and is snoring. The gang doesn't quite know what to make of it.)
Annie: I guess the tour's over.
Vinnie: Hey, let's go down to the gift shop and grab some souvenirs.
(The gang takes the elevator back down to the lobby. When it arrives, they get off and go immediately into the corner gift shop. We see them picking out postcards, pens, hats, t-shirts, and the like. The group buys them all, and then leaves.)
Annie: (confessional) The building was pretty tight. It was nice doing something with the whole group again. It's been a while since we've done that.
Lisa: (confessional) My sister was right. These guys are pretty cool. I had fun hanging out with them. I hope we can do some more stuff like it.
Max: (confessional) I loved the tour. It was fun, even with Woden talking like a tire with a nail in it... Man, that Horne lady was ugly. I'd say someone didn't have any friends when she was a kid. She looked a little spooky too. Someone should keep an eye on her.
(The house, that evening.)
(We see the gang lounging around the living room. Vinnie and Mike are watching Captain Baseball Bat Boy; Mona, Annie, and Lisa are in the kitchen, talking; and Max and Kaufman are at the table, playing dominoes – Kaufman is winning.)
Kaufman: (slapping down a domino) Ten.
Max: (writing his score on a piece of paper) Damn. You win again.
Kaufman: Mmm-hmm.
(The two shuffle the dominoes, then begin playing again. Meanwhile, in the kitchen...)
Lisa: So what are we going to do tomorrow?
Annie: I dunno. Any ideas, Mona?
Mona: Uhhh, no. Not really.
Annie: Oh, I know! We haven't had a party here. Let's do that tomorrow night.
Mona: Okay. I'm cool with that. Lisa?
Lisa: Uhh, sure, that'll be fine.
Annie: Let's ask the guys.
(In the living room...)
Vinnie: Woohoo! Kick his ass, Captain Baseball Bat Boy!
Mike: Ha-ha-ha! Take that, Maxwell's Demon.
Annie: Yo guys. Wanna have a little party tomorrow night?
Max: What, here?
Annie: Yeah, we ain't had one yet.
Max: Umm, okay. I guess that'd be okay.
Mona: How 'bout you, Kaufman?
Kaufman: Cool.
Lisa: Hey Vinnie, Mike. How'd you guys feel about having a party tomorrow night?
Mike: Heyyy, that sounds like fun.
Max: Hey Vinnie, tomorrow's Saturday, so you could invite that A.J. chick to it.
Vinnie: All right. Could I call some friends of mine too – ask 'em over?
Annie: Sure, a'right.
Mona: Hey Annie, let's see if we can get Vlad and Winterson to come over too.
Annie: Sure, that'd be cool.
Lisa: I'll invite my husband.
Max: I got a friend or two I can call.
Kaufman: I'll bring some of my cleaning buddies.
Mike: I bring some friends too.
Mona: Wow! This is gonna be some party.
MTV Announcer: Coming up, will the gang throw a great house party? Will Vinnie get that date with A.J.? And will Max ever beat Kaufman at dominoes? Stay tuned for more, on our next episode of The Real World.
Okay, hope this was worth the wait. Please continue to R&R – I love you guys' feedback.