Disclaimers: You should know them by heart by now.
Here's episode XI of Max Payne & Co. present...
The Real World
Lisa: This is the story...
Kaufman: of seven strangers...
Annie: picked to live in a house...
Mike: and have their lives taped...
Vinnie: Find out what happens...
Mona: when people stop being polite...
Max: and start being real...
Everyone: The Real World: New York.
(The house, morning)
(We see Mike in the kitchen – it is apparently his turn to make breakfast. He is making ham, bacon, eggs, sausage, and toast. Annie soon comes in and sees him.)
Annie: Hey Mike. You cookin' breakfast today?
Mike: Yes. Some good old-fashioned down-home grub. You hungry?
Annie: Mmm-hmm. Sure am.
(Annie makes a plate for herself. As she is sitting down, Max and Kaufman make their way downstairs.)
Mike: Hey guys. Grab some grub.
Kaufman: Thanks.
Max: Thanks. I need some like steam needs a teakettle.
(As Max and Kaufman sit down to eat, Vinnie shows up.)
Vinnie: Hey, is that sausage I smell?
Mike: Hey Vinnie. Grab some home-cookin'.
Vinnie: All right. Thanks, Mike.
(As Vinnie makes up his plate and sits down, Mona and Lisa come downstairs.)
Annie: Hey yaw. Mike's makin' breakfast.
Mike: Hey girls. Get some grub before it runs out.
Mona: Mmmm. Looks good.
Lisa: I'm just gonna have some eggs and toast.
Mona: (pointing to her sister) She's a vegetarian. But give me plenty of everything.
(Mona and Lisa get their food and join the rest of the group.)
Vinnie: Hey Payne. How'd ya sleep last night? (sarcastic) Did you and Kaufman behave?
(The others chuckle.)
Max: Well, if you must know, I slept perfectly fine. And Kaufman and I played dominoes a lot before bed. (pause) Still didn't win, though.
Kaufman: Better luck next time.
Annie: So, how are we gonna get everything ready for the party tonight?
Vinnie: I gotta go by the restaurant around six. That's when A.J. goes in. It may be kinda late by the time I get her here... well, if I get her to come with me.
Mona: Okay. Let's see... Let's have Kaufman and Annie clean the place. There shouldn't be that much to clean, though, since we cleaned it for you and Lisa's arrival.
Kaufman: Okay.
Mona: Vinnie, you and Mike can handle the drinks. You guys should be done well before six, so you can go by the restaurant, Vinnie.
Vinnie: Okay.
Mona: Max, you and I can go pick out the music.
Max: Okay.
Mona: Let's try to get a little of everything so there'll be something for all the guests.
Max: Sure, Mona. I'll make sure all the pegs fit into the proverbial holes.
Mona: Lisa... I think I'm gonna have you pick up some other little knick- knacks. Y'know, sodas, snacks, plates, cups, et cetera. If you can think of anything else that might be a good idea, then pick that up too.
Lisa: Okay.
Vinnie: We probably better get to work if we're gonna have everything ready by tonight.
(We see Annie and Kaufman getting all the stuff out to clean the house. Meanwhile, Vinnie and Mike take out a limo, Max and Mona take a separate limo, and Lisa takes out a limo. We follow Vinnie and Mike to a nearby liquor store, and we see them exit the limo and enter the store.)
Vinnie: So, Mike, whaddya think we should get?
Mike: We should get a keg. Coors.
Vinnie: Yeah, good idea, but we'll need to get that from a bar or a distributor.
Mike: Oh, okay.
Vinnie: But we can get some other stuff here. (sees the wine section) Hey, let's get a couple of bottles of wine. Y'know, for the ladies.
Mike: Good idea.
(Vinnie grabs a couple of bottles of wine, a red and a white, and puts them in the cart.)
Vinnie: What else do ya think we should get?
Mike: Let's get vodka.
Vinnie: (under his breath) Naturally.
Mike: What?
Vinnie: Oh, nuttin'.
Mike: Let's get some whiskey, too.
Vinnie: Oh yeah, good idea. Get some 'seven. That stuff's the best.
(Vinnie and Mike put vodka, whiskey, and some other stuff in their cart. Meanwhile, Max and Mona are shopping at a local CD store, picking out music.)
Mona: So Max, what do you think we should get?
Max: Like I've said before, I'm as open as a revolving door.
Mona: Hey, "Hip Hop Jamz '04." Let's get that.
Max: Sure, Mona. Hey, look. They have that "Legends of Classic Rock" CD. I've been wanting that for as long as I've drawn breath.
Mona: Hey, what better time to get it than now, for our party?
(Max adds the CD to the shopping basket.)
Max: Maybe we should get some Country music. Y'know, for Mike.
Mona: Nah. Chances are anything in here he's got already. We could just let him play his own CDs for the party. I'm sure he'd be happy to.
Max: Oh, okay. Hey, look at this. "Hits of the 80s." It's a 2-CD set.
Mona: Yeah, that'd be a good one. People like that old stuff. Hey look, they got some jazz CDs over here. Let's get some of those.
(Max and Mona continue to shop, adding CD after CD of various genres of music. We see Lisa meanwhile shopping at the grocery store, getting various types of sodas, chips, salsa, disposable silverware, etc. We then follow her to the mall, where she picks up some various games, cards, etc.)
(The house, late afternoon)
(Annie and Kaufman are finishing up the cleaning as Max and Mona arrive.)
Annie: Oh, hey yaw. How'd it go?
Mona: Pretty good.
Max: There won't be a savage beast here tonight that won't be charmed with what we've got in store. Except for the country music lovers. We figured that we'd just borrow Mike's CDs for that.
Annie: Oh... A'right. I'll ask Mike. I'm sure he won't mind.
Mona: Have Vinnie and Mike gotten back yet?
Kaufman: No.
Annie: They went to the liquor store to get the other drinks first. They gettin' a keg for the beer.
Max: Hmm, they probably went by a distributor for it.
Mona: Hey, the house looks nice.
Annie: Well, thanks. Kaufman seems to really know his stuff.
Kaufman: Mmm-hmm.
Annie: (confessional) Yeah, Kaufman knows his stuff, but he got a little bossy toward me while we was cleaning. He was all tellin' me what to use, what to scrub, how to scrub, what to buff... It drove me nuts. Of course, he makes a darn good living doin' this, so I guess who am I to question him?
(Vinnie and Mike return, carrying boxes full of liquor.)
Mike: Howdy, folks.
Annie: What's up, guys?
Vinnie: We got all the liquor except for the beer. We got a keg from Coors, and they're gonna deliver it at around seven. I might not be here for it, so one of yas is gonna hafta take the delivery.
Mona: Oh, that won't be a problem.
Annie: Oh, Mike, Max and Mona got a bunch of other tunes for tonight, but were wondering if you could supply the Country music.
Mike: Sure. No problem. Happy to.
Mona: Thanks, Mike. We appreciate it.
(Lisa gets home. She is carrying a box full of grocery bags, plus a small bag full of goodies.)
Annie: Hey Lisa. What'd you get?
Lisa: I got some sodas, chips, salsa, and utensils. I also went to the mall and got some other fun stuff.
(Lisa empties out the bag of goodies. Among the games and other various items is a deck of tarot cards.)
Max: Tarot cards?
Lisa: Oh yeah. Those always go over well at parties.
Mona: (confessional) Oh yeah, I forgot to mention – my sister's a bit of a witch. But not the cook-someone-in-a-stew type of witch. She just does the tarot card stuff, and an occasional spell now and then. I say let her have it – what else does she have?
Vinnie: What are ya, a witch or somethin'?
Lisa: Excuse me, I'm a Wiccan. Witches fly around on broomsticks with monkeys. I practice Wicca.
Vinnie: Uhhh... Okay.
Max: We should probably start phoning the guests.
Vinnie: Oh yeah. I gotta go fix myself up a bit, then I'm gonna head over to the restaurant to see A.J. I'll call some friends on the way.
Mona: Okay. I'll help put the stuff away. Annie, can you help me?
Annie: Sure, Mona.
(We see Max go into the kitchen to use the phone. Meanwhile, Mike, Lisa, and Kaufman take out their cell phones and start calling people. Vinnie, meanwhile, goes upstairs to his room. He changes into a pair of Dockers and a green, white, and red shirt. He splashes on some cologne and fixes his hair a bit. He then returns downstairs, where the others are still talking on the phones.)
Vinnie: I'm off to the restaurant. See ya later.
Mona: Bye, Vinnie.
Max: Good luck, Vinnie.
(Casa di Angelo, Brooklyn, around six)
(Vinnie strolls into the restaurant and goes right up to Fats, the maitre D'.)
Vinnie: Hey Fats.
Fats: Hey Vinnie. You, ah, here for your "appointment?"
Vinnie: Yeah.
Fats: Yeah, Angelo told me about it.
Vinnie: Is he here?
Fats: No, he went home for the evening. But he left me in charge of it, so right this way.
(Fats leads Vinnie through the restaurant and seats him at a small table. He leaves a menu with him. After a few moments, A.J. shows up.)
A.J.: Can I help... Hey, you look really familiar.
Vinnie: Yeah, it's me, Vinnie. I was in here with a date the other night, and you were our waitress.
A.J.: Oh yeah, I remember now! If I recall, it didn't turn out too good.
Vinnie: No, it didn't. But that's okay.
A.J.: So what can I get you?
Vinnie: I think I'm just gonna have coffee for now.
A.J.: Okay. Be right back. (leaves)
Vinnie: (confessional) I'm gonna wait until A.J. gets back with the coffee to ask her to the party. That should be about the right moment, when she's at ease.
(A.J. returns with the coffee.)
A.J.: There you go, sir. Are you sure there's nothing else I can get for you?
Vinnie: (with a bit of a "here-goes" look on his face that slips by unnoticed) Ahhh, actually there is. Uh... what time do you get off work?
A.J.: Excuse me?
Vinnie: Your shift. What time is it over?
A.J.: Uhh, ten. Why?
Vinnie: Well, there's this party I'm goin' to, and I was wondering if you'd like to go with me.
A.J.: Oh... uhh, I don't know...
Vinnie: It'll be fun. Really. Most of the people that'll be there are friends of mine. There'll be dancing there. You like to dance, don't ya?
A.J.: Well, yeah, but...
Vinnie: C'mon. Whaddya got to lose, except maybe a couple hours of your time?
A.J.: Well (thinking)... Okay.
Vinnie: (eyes lit up) All right. Great. I'll pick ya up out front around ten, then.
A.J.: (smiling) Okay.
Vinnie: Great. See ya then.
A.J.: Oh, what about your coffee?
Vinnie: Ahhh, I'll just take it with me.
A.J.: Okay.
(A.J. disappears with the coffee, then returns with it in a covered plastic cup. She hands it to Vinnie, who then pays for it, along with a tip for A.J.)
Vinnie: See ya at ten.
A.J.: Okay. Bye. (waves, smiling at him)
Vinnie: (confessional) All right!! She said yes! I told ya the ol' Gognitti charm was gonna work. I'm gonna show her the best time she's ever had.
(We see Vinnie strolling out of the restaurant. As he passes by Fats...)
Fats: Hey Vinnie. Did your "appointment" go well?
Vinnie: Yep. Sure did. We're goin' to a house party. Say... ya wanna come too? And maybe bring some of the other guys with ya?
Fats: Sure, Vinnie.
Vinnie: All right. Here.
(Vinnie takes a piece of paper from the front desk and writes down directions to the house, and a couple of phone numbers. He then hands it to Fats.)
Fats: Thanks Vinnie.
Vinnie: No problem. I may not be there when you arrive, seein' as how I'm takin' A.J. with me, but you guys'll see me there.
Fats: Sure. I understand.
Vinnie: Well, see you guys then. (leaves)
(The house, around seven)
(We see the gang putting the finishing touches on preparing the house for the party. Vinnie soon enters.)
Mike: Hey there, Vinnie. What's up?
Vinnie: Hey guys. How are ya?
Lisa: How did it go, Vinnie?
Vinnie: Great. She said yes.
Max: All right! Way to go, Vinnie.
Vinnie: Thanks, Payne. I'm pickin' her up at the restaurant at ten. She's probably gonna wanna change clothes, so we may not be here until after eleven. You know how women are – no offense, ladies.
Mona: Gee, thanks Vinnie.
Vinnie: I also invited some other friends of mine to come over.
Max: Sure, that'll be fine.
Mike: Hey Vinnie, the keg came while you were gone.
Vinnie: Oh yeah? That's good.
Mike: It's in the kitchen.
Vinnie: Let's wait until the first guests show up before we tap it.
Max: Good idea.
(The house, about two hours later)
(We see the house packed full of guests. In one area we see guys in light blue jumpsuits – the cleaners from MP2. In another area we see some men and women dressed casually, some wearing NYPD and DEA jackets – Max's cop buddies from both games. In another we see guys in heavy coats and other winter wear – these are the Russians from MP2. And in still one other area we see Fats, with Angelo and two other men, one with a buzz cut wearing a black leather jacket, and the other a thin guy with curly hair and a medium blue jacket. These are the mobsters from MP2. We see the gang mingling with all of them, except for Vinnie, who has left to pick up A.J. D12's "My Band" is playing on the stereo.)
Annie: So Mike, you havin' fun?
Mike: Yes, I like it a lot. How 'bout you?
Annie: It's great.
Mike: (to the other Russians) You guys having a good time?
Russian #1: It's great. Thanks for inviting us.
Russian #2: Hey Mike, do you still have your CD collection?
Mike: Yes. We can listen to it later. Annie likes it too.
Annie: That's right. Some of that Country music Mike has is pretty tight.
Russian #3: He heard it once by accident while he was adjusting the stereo while we were helping build the restaurant, and he's been hooked ever since.
Annie: No kiddin'.
Mike: Right. It makes the work day so much easier.
(Meanwhile...)
Lisa: (to Fats and the other wiseguys, with Angelo beside her) So, you guys' having fun?
Fats: Yeah, we are.
Wiseguy #1 (the buzz-cut guy): If you see Vinnie before we do, tell him thanks for invitin' us.
Wiseguy #2 (the blue-coat guy): Yeah, he's on his way to get A.J.
Angelo: Hey, so Vinnie got that date with her.
Lisa: You knew?
Angelo: Yeah, Vinnie called me and asked if A.J. was available beforehand. Smart guy, that Vinnie. I've always said. Too bad he sells used cars – he has the brains to run both my businesses when I retire.
(Meanwhile, we see Max and Mona talking with the NYPD and DEA guys.)
NYPD #1: So Payne, you gonna come back to work as soon as the show's over?
Max: Yep. I'll be back front row center for the bigger show that is... my life.
NYPD #2: You and your metaphors, Max. How do you put up with this guy, Mona?
Mona: Oh, it's not so bad. He's a real sweet guy.
DEA #1: Awwww, isn't that cute? (the rest of the "cop" group snickers)
Max: Yeah, real funny, guys.
(Meanwhile, Kaufman is socializing with the cleaners.)
Cleaner #1: Thanks for inviting us out here, Kaufman.
Cleaner #2: Yeah, it's great out here, boss.
Kaufman: My pleasure.
(We hear a knock at the door. Max goes to answer it. He opens the door to reveal... Alex Balder, Max's former DEA partner from MP1.)
Max: Alex!
Alex: Max!
Max: Come on in, buddy. I ain't seen you in ages.
Alex: Likewise. How you been?
Max: Good. How's the DEA treating you?
Alex: Oh, great as always. Why did you ever leave?
Max: Well, you know. Didn't care too much for the whole working undercover bit. It was starting to get to me like a chisel through sheet rock.
Alex: Right.
Mona: Hey Max, who's your friend?
Max: Oh, this is Alex Balder, my friend and former partner. Alex, this is Mona Sax.
Mona: Hi. Nice to meet you.
Alex: Nice to meet you too.
(We hear another knock at the door. Mona goes to answer it this time. She pulls back the door to reveal – Vladimir and Winterson! Vladimir is dressed more casually – a little bit more back woodsy. Winterson's belly is a little bigger than the last time we saw her.)
Mona: Vlad! Winterson!
Vladimir: (smiling) Hello, Mona.
Winterson: Hey there, Mona.
Mona: Well, don't just stand there, you two. Come in. Everyone's dying to see you.
(Vladimir and Winterson follow Mona inside.)
Mona: Hey gang! Look who's here!
Max: Vlad! Winterson!
Annie: What's up, guys?
Winterson: Not much.
Kaufman: (walking over to the two) Hello.
Vladimir: Kaufman. Talkative as always, I see.
Kaufman: Mmm-hmm.
Mona: My, your belly's getting big.
Winterson: Uh-huh. The little baby's growing like a weed.
Max: So Vlad, how's life in the country?
Vladimir: Oh, it's great. The air is so clean. Winterson's parents have chickens, so we get fresh eggs every morning. And they have cows, so we get fresh milk too.
Mike: Hey Vladimir. I miss you, buddy.
Vladimir: Thanks, Mike. Me too.
Mona: (Gesturing to Vladimir's farmer-type clothes) So what's with the change of clothes?
Vladimir: Oh, I help out with the chores on the farm. This is what I wear. Y'know... don't want to get the old linen suit dirty.
Winterson: Vlad loves the new clothes. He says they're comfy.
Vladimir: Ummm, yes. You're right, honey.
Winterson: (pointing to Lisa) Hey, who's that girl over there? She looks just like you, Mona.
Mona: Oh, that's my twin sister, Lisa. (to Lisa) Hey Lisa!! Come over here!!
(Lisa says something to Angelo and the other wiseguys, then walks over to the rest of the group.)
Lisa: Yes, Mona?
Mona: Lisa, this is Vladimir Lem and Valerie Winterson. They're the two people that you and Kaufman replaced.
Lisa: Oh, the ones that got... "married." (tries to hide a snicker)
Max: Right. Those are the ones.
Vladimir: Pleased to meet you. (kisses her hand)
Lisa: (smiling) Mmmm, likewise.
Lisa: (confessional) Wow, what a charmer that Vlad is. If I wasn't married...
(Winterson thumps Vladimir.)
Vladimir: What? I'm just being charming. I can't help it.
Winterson: Vlad, don't make me call my father again.
Vladimir: Okay, okay. I'll behave.
Winterson: So where's Vinnie? Is he here?
Max: Not yet. He's bringing a date, and he's picking her up from work.
Vladimir: Hey, good for him.
(Casa di Angelo, Brooklyn, around ten)
(We see a limo pull up in front of the restaurant, with Vinnie in the back. He waits for about 15 minutes. A.J. finally shows up out front. She is out of her work clothes, made-up, wearing a short skirt, hose, and a pink sweater. Her hair is more ruffled, and she is wearing heels. She looks very cute. Vinnie's eyes light up. The limo driver gets out and holds open the door for A.J., who promptly gets in.)
Vinnie: Hey, A.J. Wow, you look great tonight.
A.J.: Thanks, Vinnie. You do too. Wow, nice limo. You must be loaded.
Vinnie: Well, not really. It's the network's.
A.J.: Come again?
Vinnie: Oh, didn't you know? I'm on that show "The Real World." You ever watch it?
A.J.: Well, not for a long time.
Vinnie: Oh. Well, MTV provides the limos.
A.J.: Wow. That's cool.
Vinnie: Well, we better get goin' while there's still partying left.
A.J.: Okay.
(Vinnie signals the driver to take them to the party. The driver promptly obeys.)
MTV Announcer: Coming up, on our next episode... How will A.J. react to the party, and the rest of the group?... The gang finds out a secret about Kaufman... and the guys going for the full Monty? Stay tuned for more, on "The Real World"...
Okay, this was getting a little long, so I had to cut it off. Don't worry, though, we'll cover more of the party next time. And as always, PLEASE R&R. I love getting those.
Here's episode XI of Max Payne & Co. present...
The Real World
Lisa: This is the story...
Kaufman: of seven strangers...
Annie: picked to live in a house...
Mike: and have their lives taped...
Vinnie: Find out what happens...
Mona: when people stop being polite...
Max: and start being real...
Everyone: The Real World: New York.
(The house, morning)
(We see Mike in the kitchen – it is apparently his turn to make breakfast. He is making ham, bacon, eggs, sausage, and toast. Annie soon comes in and sees him.)
Annie: Hey Mike. You cookin' breakfast today?
Mike: Yes. Some good old-fashioned down-home grub. You hungry?
Annie: Mmm-hmm. Sure am.
(Annie makes a plate for herself. As she is sitting down, Max and Kaufman make their way downstairs.)
Mike: Hey guys. Grab some grub.
Kaufman: Thanks.
Max: Thanks. I need some like steam needs a teakettle.
(As Max and Kaufman sit down to eat, Vinnie shows up.)
Vinnie: Hey, is that sausage I smell?
Mike: Hey Vinnie. Grab some home-cookin'.
Vinnie: All right. Thanks, Mike.
(As Vinnie makes up his plate and sits down, Mona and Lisa come downstairs.)
Annie: Hey yaw. Mike's makin' breakfast.
Mike: Hey girls. Get some grub before it runs out.
Mona: Mmmm. Looks good.
Lisa: I'm just gonna have some eggs and toast.
Mona: (pointing to her sister) She's a vegetarian. But give me plenty of everything.
(Mona and Lisa get their food and join the rest of the group.)
Vinnie: Hey Payne. How'd ya sleep last night? (sarcastic) Did you and Kaufman behave?
(The others chuckle.)
Max: Well, if you must know, I slept perfectly fine. And Kaufman and I played dominoes a lot before bed. (pause) Still didn't win, though.
Kaufman: Better luck next time.
Annie: So, how are we gonna get everything ready for the party tonight?
Vinnie: I gotta go by the restaurant around six. That's when A.J. goes in. It may be kinda late by the time I get her here... well, if I get her to come with me.
Mona: Okay. Let's see... Let's have Kaufman and Annie clean the place. There shouldn't be that much to clean, though, since we cleaned it for you and Lisa's arrival.
Kaufman: Okay.
Mona: Vinnie, you and Mike can handle the drinks. You guys should be done well before six, so you can go by the restaurant, Vinnie.
Vinnie: Okay.
Mona: Max, you and I can go pick out the music.
Max: Okay.
Mona: Let's try to get a little of everything so there'll be something for all the guests.
Max: Sure, Mona. I'll make sure all the pegs fit into the proverbial holes.
Mona: Lisa... I think I'm gonna have you pick up some other little knick- knacks. Y'know, sodas, snacks, plates, cups, et cetera. If you can think of anything else that might be a good idea, then pick that up too.
Lisa: Okay.
Vinnie: We probably better get to work if we're gonna have everything ready by tonight.
(We see Annie and Kaufman getting all the stuff out to clean the house. Meanwhile, Vinnie and Mike take out a limo, Max and Mona take a separate limo, and Lisa takes out a limo. We follow Vinnie and Mike to a nearby liquor store, and we see them exit the limo and enter the store.)
Vinnie: So, Mike, whaddya think we should get?
Mike: We should get a keg. Coors.
Vinnie: Yeah, good idea, but we'll need to get that from a bar or a distributor.
Mike: Oh, okay.
Vinnie: But we can get some other stuff here. (sees the wine section) Hey, let's get a couple of bottles of wine. Y'know, for the ladies.
Mike: Good idea.
(Vinnie grabs a couple of bottles of wine, a red and a white, and puts them in the cart.)
Vinnie: What else do ya think we should get?
Mike: Let's get vodka.
Vinnie: (under his breath) Naturally.
Mike: What?
Vinnie: Oh, nuttin'.
Mike: Let's get some whiskey, too.
Vinnie: Oh yeah, good idea. Get some 'seven. That stuff's the best.
(Vinnie and Mike put vodka, whiskey, and some other stuff in their cart. Meanwhile, Max and Mona are shopping at a local CD store, picking out music.)
Mona: So Max, what do you think we should get?
Max: Like I've said before, I'm as open as a revolving door.
Mona: Hey, "Hip Hop Jamz '04." Let's get that.
Max: Sure, Mona. Hey, look. They have that "Legends of Classic Rock" CD. I've been wanting that for as long as I've drawn breath.
Mona: Hey, what better time to get it than now, for our party?
(Max adds the CD to the shopping basket.)
Max: Maybe we should get some Country music. Y'know, for Mike.
Mona: Nah. Chances are anything in here he's got already. We could just let him play his own CDs for the party. I'm sure he'd be happy to.
Max: Oh, okay. Hey, look at this. "Hits of the 80s." It's a 2-CD set.
Mona: Yeah, that'd be a good one. People like that old stuff. Hey look, they got some jazz CDs over here. Let's get some of those.
(Max and Mona continue to shop, adding CD after CD of various genres of music. We see Lisa meanwhile shopping at the grocery store, getting various types of sodas, chips, salsa, disposable silverware, etc. We then follow her to the mall, where she picks up some various games, cards, etc.)
(The house, late afternoon)
(Annie and Kaufman are finishing up the cleaning as Max and Mona arrive.)
Annie: Oh, hey yaw. How'd it go?
Mona: Pretty good.
Max: There won't be a savage beast here tonight that won't be charmed with what we've got in store. Except for the country music lovers. We figured that we'd just borrow Mike's CDs for that.
Annie: Oh... A'right. I'll ask Mike. I'm sure he won't mind.
Mona: Have Vinnie and Mike gotten back yet?
Kaufman: No.
Annie: They went to the liquor store to get the other drinks first. They gettin' a keg for the beer.
Max: Hmm, they probably went by a distributor for it.
Mona: Hey, the house looks nice.
Annie: Well, thanks. Kaufman seems to really know his stuff.
Kaufman: Mmm-hmm.
Annie: (confessional) Yeah, Kaufman knows his stuff, but he got a little bossy toward me while we was cleaning. He was all tellin' me what to use, what to scrub, how to scrub, what to buff... It drove me nuts. Of course, he makes a darn good living doin' this, so I guess who am I to question him?
(Vinnie and Mike return, carrying boxes full of liquor.)
Mike: Howdy, folks.
Annie: What's up, guys?
Vinnie: We got all the liquor except for the beer. We got a keg from Coors, and they're gonna deliver it at around seven. I might not be here for it, so one of yas is gonna hafta take the delivery.
Mona: Oh, that won't be a problem.
Annie: Oh, Mike, Max and Mona got a bunch of other tunes for tonight, but were wondering if you could supply the Country music.
Mike: Sure. No problem. Happy to.
Mona: Thanks, Mike. We appreciate it.
(Lisa gets home. She is carrying a box full of grocery bags, plus a small bag full of goodies.)
Annie: Hey Lisa. What'd you get?
Lisa: I got some sodas, chips, salsa, and utensils. I also went to the mall and got some other fun stuff.
(Lisa empties out the bag of goodies. Among the games and other various items is a deck of tarot cards.)
Max: Tarot cards?
Lisa: Oh yeah. Those always go over well at parties.
Mona: (confessional) Oh yeah, I forgot to mention – my sister's a bit of a witch. But not the cook-someone-in-a-stew type of witch. She just does the tarot card stuff, and an occasional spell now and then. I say let her have it – what else does she have?
Vinnie: What are ya, a witch or somethin'?
Lisa: Excuse me, I'm a Wiccan. Witches fly around on broomsticks with monkeys. I practice Wicca.
Vinnie: Uhhh... Okay.
Max: We should probably start phoning the guests.
Vinnie: Oh yeah. I gotta go fix myself up a bit, then I'm gonna head over to the restaurant to see A.J. I'll call some friends on the way.
Mona: Okay. I'll help put the stuff away. Annie, can you help me?
Annie: Sure, Mona.
(We see Max go into the kitchen to use the phone. Meanwhile, Mike, Lisa, and Kaufman take out their cell phones and start calling people. Vinnie, meanwhile, goes upstairs to his room. He changes into a pair of Dockers and a green, white, and red shirt. He splashes on some cologne and fixes his hair a bit. He then returns downstairs, where the others are still talking on the phones.)
Vinnie: I'm off to the restaurant. See ya later.
Mona: Bye, Vinnie.
Max: Good luck, Vinnie.
(Casa di Angelo, Brooklyn, around six)
(Vinnie strolls into the restaurant and goes right up to Fats, the maitre D'.)
Vinnie: Hey Fats.
Fats: Hey Vinnie. You, ah, here for your "appointment?"
Vinnie: Yeah.
Fats: Yeah, Angelo told me about it.
Vinnie: Is he here?
Fats: No, he went home for the evening. But he left me in charge of it, so right this way.
(Fats leads Vinnie through the restaurant and seats him at a small table. He leaves a menu with him. After a few moments, A.J. shows up.)
A.J.: Can I help... Hey, you look really familiar.
Vinnie: Yeah, it's me, Vinnie. I was in here with a date the other night, and you were our waitress.
A.J.: Oh yeah, I remember now! If I recall, it didn't turn out too good.
Vinnie: No, it didn't. But that's okay.
A.J.: So what can I get you?
Vinnie: I think I'm just gonna have coffee for now.
A.J.: Okay. Be right back. (leaves)
Vinnie: (confessional) I'm gonna wait until A.J. gets back with the coffee to ask her to the party. That should be about the right moment, when she's at ease.
(A.J. returns with the coffee.)
A.J.: There you go, sir. Are you sure there's nothing else I can get for you?
Vinnie: (with a bit of a "here-goes" look on his face that slips by unnoticed) Ahhh, actually there is. Uh... what time do you get off work?
A.J.: Excuse me?
Vinnie: Your shift. What time is it over?
A.J.: Uhh, ten. Why?
Vinnie: Well, there's this party I'm goin' to, and I was wondering if you'd like to go with me.
A.J.: Oh... uhh, I don't know...
Vinnie: It'll be fun. Really. Most of the people that'll be there are friends of mine. There'll be dancing there. You like to dance, don't ya?
A.J.: Well, yeah, but...
Vinnie: C'mon. Whaddya got to lose, except maybe a couple hours of your time?
A.J.: Well (thinking)... Okay.
Vinnie: (eyes lit up) All right. Great. I'll pick ya up out front around ten, then.
A.J.: (smiling) Okay.
Vinnie: Great. See ya then.
A.J.: Oh, what about your coffee?
Vinnie: Ahhh, I'll just take it with me.
A.J.: Okay.
(A.J. disappears with the coffee, then returns with it in a covered plastic cup. She hands it to Vinnie, who then pays for it, along with a tip for A.J.)
Vinnie: See ya at ten.
A.J.: Okay. Bye. (waves, smiling at him)
Vinnie: (confessional) All right!! She said yes! I told ya the ol' Gognitti charm was gonna work. I'm gonna show her the best time she's ever had.
(We see Vinnie strolling out of the restaurant. As he passes by Fats...)
Fats: Hey Vinnie. Did your "appointment" go well?
Vinnie: Yep. Sure did. We're goin' to a house party. Say... ya wanna come too? And maybe bring some of the other guys with ya?
Fats: Sure, Vinnie.
Vinnie: All right. Here.
(Vinnie takes a piece of paper from the front desk and writes down directions to the house, and a couple of phone numbers. He then hands it to Fats.)
Fats: Thanks Vinnie.
Vinnie: No problem. I may not be there when you arrive, seein' as how I'm takin' A.J. with me, but you guys'll see me there.
Fats: Sure. I understand.
Vinnie: Well, see you guys then. (leaves)
(The house, around seven)
(We see the gang putting the finishing touches on preparing the house for the party. Vinnie soon enters.)
Mike: Hey there, Vinnie. What's up?
Vinnie: Hey guys. How are ya?
Lisa: How did it go, Vinnie?
Vinnie: Great. She said yes.
Max: All right! Way to go, Vinnie.
Vinnie: Thanks, Payne. I'm pickin' her up at the restaurant at ten. She's probably gonna wanna change clothes, so we may not be here until after eleven. You know how women are – no offense, ladies.
Mona: Gee, thanks Vinnie.
Vinnie: I also invited some other friends of mine to come over.
Max: Sure, that'll be fine.
Mike: Hey Vinnie, the keg came while you were gone.
Vinnie: Oh yeah? That's good.
Mike: It's in the kitchen.
Vinnie: Let's wait until the first guests show up before we tap it.
Max: Good idea.
(The house, about two hours later)
(We see the house packed full of guests. In one area we see guys in light blue jumpsuits – the cleaners from MP2. In another area we see some men and women dressed casually, some wearing NYPD and DEA jackets – Max's cop buddies from both games. In another we see guys in heavy coats and other winter wear – these are the Russians from MP2. And in still one other area we see Fats, with Angelo and two other men, one with a buzz cut wearing a black leather jacket, and the other a thin guy with curly hair and a medium blue jacket. These are the mobsters from MP2. We see the gang mingling with all of them, except for Vinnie, who has left to pick up A.J. D12's "My Band" is playing on the stereo.)
Annie: So Mike, you havin' fun?
Mike: Yes, I like it a lot. How 'bout you?
Annie: It's great.
Mike: (to the other Russians) You guys having a good time?
Russian #1: It's great. Thanks for inviting us.
Russian #2: Hey Mike, do you still have your CD collection?
Mike: Yes. We can listen to it later. Annie likes it too.
Annie: That's right. Some of that Country music Mike has is pretty tight.
Russian #3: He heard it once by accident while he was adjusting the stereo while we were helping build the restaurant, and he's been hooked ever since.
Annie: No kiddin'.
Mike: Right. It makes the work day so much easier.
(Meanwhile...)
Lisa: (to Fats and the other wiseguys, with Angelo beside her) So, you guys' having fun?
Fats: Yeah, we are.
Wiseguy #1 (the buzz-cut guy): If you see Vinnie before we do, tell him thanks for invitin' us.
Wiseguy #2 (the blue-coat guy): Yeah, he's on his way to get A.J.
Angelo: Hey, so Vinnie got that date with her.
Lisa: You knew?
Angelo: Yeah, Vinnie called me and asked if A.J. was available beforehand. Smart guy, that Vinnie. I've always said. Too bad he sells used cars – he has the brains to run both my businesses when I retire.
(Meanwhile, we see Max and Mona talking with the NYPD and DEA guys.)
NYPD #1: So Payne, you gonna come back to work as soon as the show's over?
Max: Yep. I'll be back front row center for the bigger show that is... my life.
NYPD #2: You and your metaphors, Max. How do you put up with this guy, Mona?
Mona: Oh, it's not so bad. He's a real sweet guy.
DEA #1: Awwww, isn't that cute? (the rest of the "cop" group snickers)
Max: Yeah, real funny, guys.
(Meanwhile, Kaufman is socializing with the cleaners.)
Cleaner #1: Thanks for inviting us out here, Kaufman.
Cleaner #2: Yeah, it's great out here, boss.
Kaufman: My pleasure.
(We hear a knock at the door. Max goes to answer it. He opens the door to reveal... Alex Balder, Max's former DEA partner from MP1.)
Max: Alex!
Alex: Max!
Max: Come on in, buddy. I ain't seen you in ages.
Alex: Likewise. How you been?
Max: Good. How's the DEA treating you?
Alex: Oh, great as always. Why did you ever leave?
Max: Well, you know. Didn't care too much for the whole working undercover bit. It was starting to get to me like a chisel through sheet rock.
Alex: Right.
Mona: Hey Max, who's your friend?
Max: Oh, this is Alex Balder, my friend and former partner. Alex, this is Mona Sax.
Mona: Hi. Nice to meet you.
Alex: Nice to meet you too.
(We hear another knock at the door. Mona goes to answer it this time. She pulls back the door to reveal – Vladimir and Winterson! Vladimir is dressed more casually – a little bit more back woodsy. Winterson's belly is a little bigger than the last time we saw her.)
Mona: Vlad! Winterson!
Vladimir: (smiling) Hello, Mona.
Winterson: Hey there, Mona.
Mona: Well, don't just stand there, you two. Come in. Everyone's dying to see you.
(Vladimir and Winterson follow Mona inside.)
Mona: Hey gang! Look who's here!
Max: Vlad! Winterson!
Annie: What's up, guys?
Winterson: Not much.
Kaufman: (walking over to the two) Hello.
Vladimir: Kaufman. Talkative as always, I see.
Kaufman: Mmm-hmm.
Mona: My, your belly's getting big.
Winterson: Uh-huh. The little baby's growing like a weed.
Max: So Vlad, how's life in the country?
Vladimir: Oh, it's great. The air is so clean. Winterson's parents have chickens, so we get fresh eggs every morning. And they have cows, so we get fresh milk too.
Mike: Hey Vladimir. I miss you, buddy.
Vladimir: Thanks, Mike. Me too.
Mona: (Gesturing to Vladimir's farmer-type clothes) So what's with the change of clothes?
Vladimir: Oh, I help out with the chores on the farm. This is what I wear. Y'know... don't want to get the old linen suit dirty.
Winterson: Vlad loves the new clothes. He says they're comfy.
Vladimir: Ummm, yes. You're right, honey.
Winterson: (pointing to Lisa) Hey, who's that girl over there? She looks just like you, Mona.
Mona: Oh, that's my twin sister, Lisa. (to Lisa) Hey Lisa!! Come over here!!
(Lisa says something to Angelo and the other wiseguys, then walks over to the rest of the group.)
Lisa: Yes, Mona?
Mona: Lisa, this is Vladimir Lem and Valerie Winterson. They're the two people that you and Kaufman replaced.
Lisa: Oh, the ones that got... "married." (tries to hide a snicker)
Max: Right. Those are the ones.
Vladimir: Pleased to meet you. (kisses her hand)
Lisa: (smiling) Mmmm, likewise.
Lisa: (confessional) Wow, what a charmer that Vlad is. If I wasn't married...
(Winterson thumps Vladimir.)
Vladimir: What? I'm just being charming. I can't help it.
Winterson: Vlad, don't make me call my father again.
Vladimir: Okay, okay. I'll behave.
Winterson: So where's Vinnie? Is he here?
Max: Not yet. He's bringing a date, and he's picking her up from work.
Vladimir: Hey, good for him.
(Casa di Angelo, Brooklyn, around ten)
(We see a limo pull up in front of the restaurant, with Vinnie in the back. He waits for about 15 minutes. A.J. finally shows up out front. She is out of her work clothes, made-up, wearing a short skirt, hose, and a pink sweater. Her hair is more ruffled, and she is wearing heels. She looks very cute. Vinnie's eyes light up. The limo driver gets out and holds open the door for A.J., who promptly gets in.)
Vinnie: Hey, A.J. Wow, you look great tonight.
A.J.: Thanks, Vinnie. You do too. Wow, nice limo. You must be loaded.
Vinnie: Well, not really. It's the network's.
A.J.: Come again?
Vinnie: Oh, didn't you know? I'm on that show "The Real World." You ever watch it?
A.J.: Well, not for a long time.
Vinnie: Oh. Well, MTV provides the limos.
A.J.: Wow. That's cool.
Vinnie: Well, we better get goin' while there's still partying left.
A.J.: Okay.
(Vinnie signals the driver to take them to the party. The driver promptly obeys.)
MTV Announcer: Coming up, on our next episode... How will A.J. react to the party, and the rest of the group?... The gang finds out a secret about Kaufman... and the guys going for the full Monty? Stay tuned for more, on "The Real World"...
Okay, this was getting a little long, so I had to cut it off. Don't worry, though, we'll cover more of the party next time. And as always, PLEASE R&R. I love getting those.