October 3, 1976
"It's amazing, isn't it?" Sirius said in awe, looking out over the vast cornfield maze that had taken over the Quidditch field. A sloppily painted wooden sign to his left said HALLOWEEN CORNFIELD PROJECT: DO NOT ENTER!!!
James raised an eyebrow. "Amazing that we can't have practice because Dumbledore has decided to take up agriculture?"
"I don't think that's what Sirius meant," said Peter, a small shadow never more than six inches away from James's side.
Remus looked bored. "I don't see what the big deal is. It's just a cornfield."
Sirius ignored them. "I can't wait to see what Dumbledore is cooking up for this year," he said excitedly.
October 14
"For the last time, Black," said Sprott, a two-foot-high garden troll who, as Sirius was all too quick to discover, never smiled. "You are not allowed past the DO NOT ENTER sign until Headmaster Dumbledore says so!"
"I am not this 'Black' of whom you speak!" cried Sirius, his voice muffled through his polyester tie-on beard. "I am a high-standing gentleman of society; how dare you escort me out with such force? Dear me, that was most certainly my buttocks you just had your grubby little hands on! Do not touch me there, my good sir!"
Sprott rolled his beady eyes. "Black, leave now and don't come back, and it'll be like this never happened. Do you really want me to alert a professor?"
Sirius groaned. For the fourth time that week, there was no way he was winning that fight.
October 15
"Sirius, there is no way I am sneaking into that cornfield," Remus protested. "The garden trolls already lit Peter's arse on fire with those Ever-Blaze Torches of theirs, and when they found out James wasn't really a scarecrow, they pulled him down and stepped on his face until he surrendered."
"But you're so much smarter than them!" Sirius whined. "You won't get caught!"
Remus raised his eyebrow. "You only say that because they're not here to hear it."
Sirius shook his shaggy head vehemently. "No, it's true. You really are. Come on, Moony!" he begged. "Halloween is my favorite holiday, and I need to know what's going on with that cornfield!"
"I bet it's nothing, Pads," Remus said. "And plus, I thought Christmas was your favorite holiday."
"Insignificant details, Moony," Sirius said. "Come on. Are you in? Please say yes. Dumbledore never does anything without a purpose."
Remus sighed. Sirius had a point. "Fine. But you owe me big time."
A huge, dopey, lopsided grin crossed Sirius's face. "I could kiss you, Moony. I really could. I'm thinking I might."
Remus froze for a minute before raising his eyebrow and muttering, "Displays of affection not necessary."
Twenty Minutes Later
"BLACK! WHAT DID I TELL YOU YESTERDAY?" Sprott roared, his mottled face red with frustration.
"It wasn't me!" Sirius shouted. "It was Professor Lupin!" He looked over at an extremely filthy, extremely disgruntled Remus. A shrill "Professor Lupin my arse!" could be heard behind them. "Really, Moony, with that sweater-vest you really do look just like a teacher."
"One problem with that theory," Remus said, "which is that all the professors already know what's going on with the cornfield!"
Sirius looked confused. "If you knew that, and you knew you'd get in trouble, then why'd you come?"
Remus shrugged. "Curiosity."
Sirius patted his friend's shoulder. "There is hope for you yet, mate."
October 24
James peeked up from his Charms homework. "Oi, Pete," he said. "You haven't said anything in like half an hour. What in the name of Minerva McGonagall are you doing?"
"Putting the finishing touches on my jack o'lantern," Peter replied. "Wanna see? It's the Hogwarts crest."
James peered over at it. "Bloody hell, Pete," he said. "That's really good! I had no idea you were so artistic."
"I'm not," he said.
"What?"
Peter chuckled. "I didn't do this, are you kidding me? Lily did most of it, I'm just smoothing everything out."
James sputtered. His jaw dropped. He ran a rather rough hand through his hair at least six times in as many seconds. "Lily Evans?" he said, sounding much angrier than he meant to. "Uh, since when are you friends with Lily and why did I not know this?"
"Well, we're not really friends," Peter said. "But, you know. We say hi. She helps me with my homework, mostly."
"But that's what Sirius and I are there for! You don't need Lily!" James cried.
Peter looked horrified and thoroughly upset. "Don't hate me, James, please," he said. "I didn't mean to do anything wrong!"
James considered throwing an all-out tantrum, and was about to do it, too, when in walked Lily herself, with two of her friends. Suddenly his frown lines turned into a cocky smirk and his voice became deeper and what he thought must have been suave. "Nah, don't sweat it," he said, ruffling Peter's hair. "It's cool. We're cool."
Peter looked confused. He thought he might like to have a good cry.
James stood, mussing up his hair again. He swaggered over to Lily's little table, where she was talking and reading Witch Weekly with her friends. "Hey, Evans," he said, flashing his most winning smile.
Lily rolled her eyes. "Hello, Potter."
"I see you helped ol' Pete out with his pumpkin over there," he continued, trying to still sound confident, even though Lily's cold greeting made him want to shrink into his shoes faster than he could say Accio Snitch!
"Yes I did," she said disinterestedly. Her friends looked from her to James and back again, and giggled. James wanted to punch them both.
"You, uh, didn't offer to help me with my pumpkin," he said, leaning closer to her.
Lily took a huffy breath. "No, I didn't," she said, twirling around to face him. "And I never will. Leave me alone, James."
Sometime in the past year or two, Lily had discovered that if she insulted or dismissed him while using his first name (since she usually just called him Potter) it usually stuck much longer than anything else, would it be Potter, obscene, or no name at all.
Now James really wanted to shrink into his shoes. He let out a hearty laugh that sounded much more forced than he wanted it to. "Just for today, Evans, just for today."
October 27
"It's done. I can smell it," Sirius said, gazing at the fully grown cornfield from the sole window in the Divinations tower.
Peter sniffed the air. "No, I think that's just Professor Trelawney's tea."
October 28
In and around what used to be the Quidditch field, besides the massive cornfield, there were magical cobwebs that ensnared you if you walked too close, four-foot tall spiders crawling around the outskirts of the field, flocks of ravens, pumpkins as big as a house, colonies and colonies of vampire bats, tombstones, ghouls, and a trained performance troupe of hags and warlocks with green skin, covered in warts, some of whom were dressed up quite convincingly as vampires (real ones couldn't be trusted not to bite) and undead zombies.
Sirius shivered with excitement. "Pinch me."
James was all too quick to grab Sirius's flesh and brutally twist it.
"Bastard."
"Like you didn't know that was coming."
October 31
"Moooony," wailed a voice from somewhere not so far above Remus's face. "Moooony, I am the Ghost of Christmas Paaaast!"
Remus didn't even want to open his eyes. He tried to turn over, but he couldn't move; Sirius was sitting on him.
"I know you are awake," he wailed. "For I am the all-knowing Ghost of Christmas Past, and I know all!"
Remus cracked one eye open just enough to see Sirius sitting on his abdomen, a white bed sheet over his head, waving his arms around like a lunatic making ghost noises. "You implied that you know all when you said you were all-knowing," he grumbled, pushing down any acute awareness he had about the fact that Sirius was indeed on top of him.
Sirius stopped flailing. "He awakens!"
"For God's sake, Padfoot, it's Halloween, not Christmas," Remus said, rubbing his eyes until they opened comfortably.
"But I'm a ghost," Sirius said. "It's all in the spirit, Moony!"
Peter burst out laughing from his bed on the other side of the room. "All in the spirit...and you're a ghost...oh, Sirius! You crack me up!"
Remus pulled the bed sheet off Sirius's head. "James is still asleep," he said, "go and bother him until he wakes up."
Sirius reluctantly agreed. "James is so much more violent than you are, though. I don't want a black eye on Halloween."
Remus shrugged and began to make his bed. "Your costume will be so much more convincing that way."
Sirius nodded his approval. "You do have a point, there. Oh, Jaaames!"
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"Is it time for the Halloween feast yet?" Sirius asked.
"It's two o'clock in the afternoon," Remus said.
"So?"
"The feast isn't until seven o'clock tonight," Peter piped up. "Even I knew that."
Sirius glared at him. "I want to know what's going on with that blasted cornfield! I hate surprises!"
"That's not true," James said. "You love surprises. There's nothing that makes you fuzzier inside than a nice surprise, you told me so yourself."
Remus raised his eyebrow. "Nothing at all, mate? Not even girls make you fuzzier inside than surprises?"
Sirius glared harder. "Not the point," he said sourly. He looked down. "Halloween is not the time to talk about any girls that made me feel fuzzy inside."
Peter chuckled. "I can't even remember the last one, mate, and I've got a mind like a steel trap..." He quickly closed his mouth at the sight of the others' intimidating and slightly incredulous faces.
James cleared his throat. "So, uh, Sirius, mate, what's your costume, anyway?"
Sirius smirked. "That is for me to know and you to find out."
"He does this every year," Remus pointed out.
"True," James agreed.
"Oi, what time is it?" Sirius asked.
"Two-thirteen," Remus said, checking his wristwatch.
Sirius waggled his eyebrows, grinning. "Getting late. I'd better go get ready," he said.
James shook his head. "He really does do this every year."
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At six-thirty, everyone in Gryffindor met in the common room to see each others' costumes before heading down to the Great Hall for the Halloween Feast.
Remus lounged around with Peter, waiting for the other two to get done. He was dressed very elaborately as King Arthur, complete with chain mail and sword. He looked very dashing, if he had to say. Peter, on the other hand, thought Sirius's Ghost of Christmas Past that morning was so hilarious that he just had to try it out for himself, and so he sat across from Remus covered in a white bed sheet with sloppily cut eyeholes.
"Where are they?" Remus muttered. He was getting impatient. He nodded a hello to Lily, who looked very beautiful and very powerful dressed as the Greek goddess of the hunt, Athena. She smiled coyly and waved the way pretty girls do.
All of a sudden there was a loud "TA DA!" from the landing in front of the sixth-year boys' dormitory. There stood James and Sirius, back to back, in outrageous, entirely over-the-top costumes.
Peter's beady eyes widened. "I don't know how they do it year after year," he said in awe.
Remus had to hand it to them; they looked fantastic. Ridiculous, but fantastic. James, to complement Lily's Athena (How had he found out about that, anyway? Remus wondered), was dressed as the Greek sun god, Apollo, right down to his suspiciously authentic-looking wrap sandals. Sirius's costume had every detail down to the (albeit unlit) cigarette; dressed in tight black jeans, a pirate-esque flowing white top, entirely too much jewelry, and a guitar slung over his shoulder, he was dressed as none other than Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones.
Remus shoved down the strange feeling in his stomach and bit back a smile as Sirius swaggered over to him and Peter. With his dark shaggy hair and wide, dimpled mouth, the likeness was impressive.
"Nice costumes, mates," he said, taking the cigarette in his fingers like a joint and over-enunciating his words in order to sound a bit drunk.
"Yeah, you two look sexy," said James. "Well, not really you, Peter, but ghosts aren't supposed to be sexy."
"James and Sirius, I can't really see you too well," said Peter, "but I'm sure your costumes are great."
Sirius laughed. "That they are," he said, clapping Peter on the back so hard that he nearly fell forward. He fell into the chair behind him, his eyes not seeming to focus on anything.
Remus frowned. "James, what's the matter with Sirius?"
"Oh," said James, "that. Well, in order to get into character, uh, Sirius kind of OD-ed."
"He WHAT?"
"No, no, it's okay. The pepper-up potion had almost worn off by the time he took all those narcotics."
Remus coughed until he choked. "How the devil did he get hold of pepper-up potion to begin with?" he asked.
James looked over at a goofily smirking Sirius and shook his head. "Sweet-talked Madam Pomfrey. You know how he gets when he wants something."
"Ah yes, the sweet-talking," said Remus fondly in mock-nostalgia. "I know it well."
"He's really convincing," piped up Peter.
Sirius giggled. "Are you guys talking about me?"
"JAMES POTTER, I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU!" Lily yelled from across the room. She sounded positively livid.
James grinned wryly. "There's my cue."
"I am going to go watch," Peter announced, taking off after James.
Remus sat quietly on the chair across from Sirius for a few minutes, until Sirius stood up. "I am feeling much more like myself," he said, "although probably a lot less like Keith."
Remus smiled. "Well, the man's on so many drugs I wouldn't exactly count that as a bad thing."
"True." Sirius looked around until his eyes landed on James, who looked, as he usually did when he was dealing with Lily, like he wanted very much to cry.
"Look at poor Jamesy, not having any luck at all with Evans," he said.
Remus looked over at James, who was trying to point out all the ways he and Lily were meant for each other, would she just look at their costumes, and getting glared at and slapped quite a bit in the process. "Never does," he said wryly.
Sirius laughed a little before turning his attention back to Remus. "Hey Moony," he said softly, his face mere inches from Remus's, "Your King Arthur costume is fantastic. You look great. Really."
Remus's mouth went quite dry. "Thanks, Padfoot. So do you."
They smiled at each other with a mix of gratitude, curiosity, hope, and awkwardness on their faces and in their minds, and at that moment, neither could quite pinpoint why.
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"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen," Dumbledore said at the start of the feast. "Happy Halloween and welcome to the feast! As some of you may have noticed"—here he looked pointedly at Sirius, who instantly put on his most innocent face—"we have recently acquired a cornfield here at Hogwarts. Admittedly, it was grown for the sole purpose of Halloween fun, because what better time to celebrate all things magical and supernatural—all the things that are the very essence of wizardkind—than Halloween?"
Everyone took a moment to cheer loudly—seventh-years Gideon and Fabian Prewetts' cheering did not go without festive noisemakers—before Dumbledore quieted them down again.
"Tonight, Hogwarts will be holding its first Halloween Scare Festival, which will involve everyone going into the cornfield maze and...well, you'll see. Just try to get through to the other side without surrendering. Happy eating!"
James shook his head. "Typical Dumbledore," he said, piling food onto his plate. "Doesn't tell us anything important."
Sirius looked thoughtful. "Surrendering, eh?"
"Sirius, please don't get carried away," Remus said. "I'm begging you. BEGGING YOU. Please."
Sirius slammed his hand down on the table. "Don't get carried away?" he asked, as if Remus had just uttered blasphemy. "DON'T GET CARRIED AWAY? Our LIVES could be on the line and you tell me NOT TO GET CARRIED AWAY?"
"Now you've done it," muttered Peter.
Standing up now, Sirius shouted, "DON'T THINK WE'LL BE SURRENDERING, DUMBLEDORE! SIRIUS BLACK DOES NOT KNOW THE MEANING OF SURRENDER!"
Remus and James pulled him down. "Shut up," Remus hissed. "You don't even know what's going on!"
Sirius pouted petulantly. "I don't need to know what's going on to know that I won't be surrendering."
James looked at Remus and shook his head again. "You should know by now not to argue with Sirius when he's drugged."
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"...There are wards around this cornfield against the Lumos spell," Dumbledore was saying once everyone had commenced outside in the field. "You all have four other senses; we want you to find your way out of this maze using all of them but sight. And, preferably, taste, although you never know what you might come across. And beware, for there are things that lurk in this cornfield maze that I would not wish on my worst enemy!"
"But he would wish them upon us," James muttered. "I see his priorities."
"Enemies are there to keep things exciting," Remus whispered, "while us students are just here for him to baby-sit, mostly. Think of all the adventures he could be having if we all died in this cornfield maze tonight!"
"If I ever died, I'd want it to be in a cornfield," Peter said.
Sirius laughed. "You might want to die in a cornfield," he said, his voice low, "but me, I'm taking the fun route. I want to have sex in a cornfield."
Lily, who was behind him, smacked him upside the head. "You're such an asshole boy," she snapped.
He flashed his most winning smile. "It's all part of my charm, Evans."
"...Does anyone have any more questions?" Dumbledore was asking.
Gideon Prewett raised his hand. "How long will this go on?"
"Until someone finds his or her way out," Dumbledore answered, his blue eyes twinkling.
Everyone started murmuring; what if no one ever found their way out?
"Best of luck to all," Dumbledore said over their chatter, "and fifty house points to whoever comes out first! BEGIN!"
The students rushed into the cornfield in a swarm of moving, costumed bodies, stepping on each others' toes and shoving each other out of the way. It was impossible to see more than three inches in front of oneself, and the corn was at least fifteen feet high. No doubt the garden trolls had watered it with InstaGrow Plant Potion or something along those lines, but none of the students had really expected anything different.
Within five minutes, between all the pushing and shoving and stepping on, Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs had been completely separated.
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They wandered around for what seemed like days, but it couldn't have been days, because it was still dark outside.
Dumbledore might be a powerful wizard, Remus thought wryly, but he cannot enchant the goddamned sky.
Every couple of minutes, he would brace himself for the inevitable miniature heart attack that would come every time something scary and ugly jumped out at him. He was beginning to build up some sort of resistance, and as an added bonus, as a result of his friendship with James and Sirius, he was probably less easily fazed than most.
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Sirius, on the other hand, was always the one who did all the scaring, and had no one to break him in for such purposes. That was why, at the first sight of any sort of shadow he could make out, he would shriek, or occasionally yell things like, "PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL! I HAVEN'T EVEN MET MY GRANDCHILDREN!"
Of course, half the time the shadows he saw were either a cornstalk of his own body.
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"Holy fucking shit, bloody fucking hell, holy fucking shit, bloody fucking hell," James repeated under his breath as he made his way through the maze. He, like Sirius, was always used to the one pulling the pranks, and his tolerance for scary things was even lower than Padfoot's.
"At laaast," whispered a hag's voice very close to his ear, "your soul is miiiine, all miiiine for the taaaaking."
"AAUUUGGHHHH!!"
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"Jaaames," Peter called softly, weaving his way through the cornfield. "Siiiriuuus, Reeemus, where aaare youuu?"
"Your friends left you, have they?" asked a voice that seemed to be coming from a shadow not very far from Peter. His hand clamped down over Peter's mouth before Peter had a chance to scream. "Look, I'm human. Do not shriek as I know you so desperately want to."
"Are you a ghost?" Peter whispered.
"No, you moron," he replied, his eyes rolling in his words. "I'm your favorite classmate, Severus Snape."
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Sirius couldn't take it anymore, this wasn't fun anymore, he was tired and cranky and maybe if he kept walking backwards, he'd end up where he started, or at least—
"Oomph!" said someone who Sirius had quite obviously just walked into.
"Sorry," he said. "I'm trying to escape the ghouls."
"Sirius? Is that you?"
"Moony?"
"Yes! Oh, thank goodness I've found you."
"I'm what you've been searching for all along, eh? I was right under your nose all this time."
"Not exactly, but I am happy to see you. Er, sense you."
"Wanna sit down? I can't handle the ghouls anymore."
"Of course I want to sit down. I've been standing for hours, my feet kill. King Arthur really should have invested in some more comfortable boots."
"Keith's shoes are comfy."
"Rub it in, why don't you?"
"I'm fabulous at that."
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"Would you stop shrieking like that?" asked a female voice. James would know that voice anywhere.
"Sorry, Lily."
"Potter?"
"Guilty."
"Dammit."
"Are you alone?"
"Are you going to rape me?"
"No."
"Then yes."
"Yes what?"
"Yes I'm alone."
"Oh. I thought you meant yes, you wanted me to rape you."
"Ew! No! Why would I say yes to that?"
"I dunno, 's why I asked."
"Oh. Makes sense, I suppose."
"I know."
"Hey Potter?"
"Yeah?"
"I have sort of an odd request."
"Go on..."
"Would you stay with me? For now. Just so I don't have to be alone. It's so dark."
James smiled. "Whatever you want, Lily."
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"Severus, are you a vampire?" Peter asked.
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Because you sort of look like one."
"What?"
"Well, you do."
"Keep walking, Pettigrew. There's got to be a way out of here somehow that doesn't involve death."
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Sirius rolled over onto Remus's belly. "Get off," Remus groaned, trying to push him to no avail.
"I can see the sky better from this angle," Sirius said.
"I don't care," Remus said. "You're hurting me."
Sirius ignored him. "Do you think we'll ever get out of here?" he asked. "I mean, Dumbledore can't keep us locked in here forever, can he? Man, I would hate to be locked in here forever. I have so much to live for. I have my motorbike, for one. I have places to go, people to see that have no relation whatsoever to anyone in the Black family. I want to see all of Europe, not just England and France and Italy, and I want to see America, and sometimes I even think I want to see Japan, but if we stay in here forever I'll never get to see Japan, even if I don't really want to, when it comes time for my trip! And how are we supposed to get out, anyway, even if Dumbledore decides that we should? The cornstalks are higher than all of our heads, except for maybe Kingsley Shacklebolt's, but sometimes I doubt he is even entirely human—not that that's a bad thing, Moony, I'm just pointing it out—"
"Do you ever stop talking, just for one minute?" Remus asked exasperatedly.
Sirius propped himself up on his elbows, taking most of his weight off of Remus's body. "I know a way you can always get me to shut up," he said.
Remus raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Oh yeah? What is it?"
Sometime before he even finished speaking, Sirius had pressed his lips to Remus's. Before anything could really happen, he pulled his mouth away and sat up, breathing heavily.
"That always works?" Remus asked, sitting up as well and breathing equally as hard.
Sirius nodded. "Never fails. Especially if it's you."
At that, he kissed him again. His mouth was warm and inviting, and before he knew it Remus had begun to reciprocate the kiss, grabbing Sirius around by his neck and his shaggy hair, pulling him down on top of him.
"Your chain mail's in the way," Sirius murmured against Remus's mouth.
"We will have to dispose of it, then," Remus replied huskily, and in one fluid motion the chain mail came off, along with—and Remus would swear this was an accident, although he did nothing to change circumstances—his tunic and shirt, and at the same time, off came the belt with the sheathed sword.
Sirius ran his hands along Remus's smooth skin as he kissed him more, all along his neck and chest, raising gooseflesh on his bare body.
As they continued in their new discovery that kissing in a cornfield was as awkward and exciting as one might imagine it to be, although definitely with a lot more dirt than is usually glossed over in the stories, and progressed in their experimenting with each others' increasingly bare bodies, the last thing Remus could remember thinking before their pants came off was, Dear sweet god am I glad nobody's around and oh, do I love Halloween!
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"...and that concludes the story of how Sirius and I got arrested in Italy last summer."
Lily was laughing so hard tears were streaming down her face. "You two are too much," she said, wiping her eyes. "It's too bad you're such horrible bastards at school."
"Are we really that bad?" James asked.
Lily sighed. "Do I really have to answer that?" She shivered. "The cold is setting in fast," she said.
James was quick to pull her into his lap and wrap his arms around her. "If you don't mind, this is a no-fail method."
"Oh, you've tried it on all the girls, I suppose."
James shook his head. "No. I haven't even been with anyone, Lily. I don't want anyone but you, I keep telling you that."
"Then how do you know about this?" she asked. "Which, I'm almost ashamed to admit, works quite well."
He grinned. "My mum used to warm me up like this when I was a little kid."
Lily couldn't keep from smiling. "That's really sweet," she said.
He stopped rubbing her arms after a few minutes and she climbed out of his lap, but she stayed close. "Am I really that bad?" he asked again.
Lily nudged him with her shoulder, smiling more than she thought she should have been. "Well, as long as we're going to be stuck here for what will probably end up being the entire night, there are far worse people I could be stuck with."
A slow smile crossed James's face, and suddenly he couldn't stop beaming. "Really?"
"Yeah, really," she said, her voice low and almost uncertain. "Let me tell you something, James. When you stop trying to put on a show for everyone, underneath it all, you're not quite as horrible as I thought."
"That's what I've been trying to tell you!" James said exasperatedly, still grinning. "All these years of my careful planning and excellent persuasion, and then we're stuck in a cornfield where I'm screaming my brains out like a little girl, we have little hope of survival, and all of a sudden I'm not so bad. How's that for irony?"
She laughed a little. "I am nothing if not difficult to please," she said.
"I don't mind," James said softly. He moved a little closer to her. "Hey, Lily..."
Somewhere in the distance, there was a small explosion, and suddenly every cornstalk was covered in soft, shimmering lights. The sky had the quiet, stagnant feeling of just before dawn, but the entire cornfield was suddenly illuminated. James and Lily looked at each other as if they couldn't believe the whole night had actually happened. James had straw and leaves in his hair, his glasses were lopsided, and there was a smudge of dirt right on his jaw line. Lily's hair was a tangled mess and her face had various dirt smudges on it. Their Greek deity costumes were ruined. All around them, people were shouting that they were saved, that they were alive, and that this was the most fun they'd had in their lives. It was perfect.
"Lily, I give you permission to slap me when I'm done," James said abruptly, "but there's something I have to do."
She knew he was going to kiss her even before he said that, and she didn't even mind too terribly much. Of course, she certainly didn't have any idea how good a kiss it was going to be. James cradled her head in his hands and pressed his whole mouth to hers for a slow, sweet, quietly passionate kiss, taking as much of her in as he could. Lily's only complaint was that it didn't last longer.
When they broke apart, all they could do was stare at each other.
"So," James said after what seemed like an eternity, "am I getting slapped or what?"
Lily bit her lip lightly, her body still tingling. "I think I'll let you go free tonight," she said. "Just because it's Halloween."
He grinned, offering his hand to her. "Sounds good to me. Would you like me to escort you out, my fair lady?"
She took his hand reluctantly. "Sure," she said, "But don't think that we're a couple now, because we're not. You're still the most arrogant bastard I have ever met, despite any evidence to the contrary I've witnessed over the past God-only-knows-how-many hours. Also, I have just one warning for you, James Potter. If you ever tell anyone that we slept together tonight, especially if his name is Sirius Black, I will murder you in the most painful way I can possibly imagine, and as you may know, I am quite a creative woman."
"Dually noted," James said, not quite sure how to take that. Exaggerating the story hadn't even occurred to him, which was definitely a first. He silently cursed himself for losing his edge so early in life.
Lily smiled up at him. "Thanks for everything tonight, by the way," she said softly as they wove their way through the glistening cornfield towards what they could now see, thanks to the magical path Dumbledore had laid out for everyone, was the way out. "Thanks for keeping me warm, for talking with me, for not yelling at me for always being such a bitch to you..."
James shrugged. "Anytime," he said.
Lily was quiet for a moment before adding even more softly, "Thank you for kissing me, too."
James couldn't keep from grinning. "Thank you for not slapping me afterward. I don't know if my feeble heart could've taken it."
"I don't know," she said in mock skepticism. "You look pretty tough to me."
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"Sirius," Remus said groggily, letting his eyes adjust to the new light on all the cornstalks. "Sirius, wake up. The game's over, somebody won."
Sirius mumbled incoherently, turning over directly into a cornstalk. "BLOODY HELL!" he yelped, shooting up. He rubbed his nose, which had apparently gotten poked. "Why is corn sharp?"
Remus shrugged. "Couldn't tell you," he said honestly, "but now is not the time. Let's get out of here."
"Who won?" Sirius asked as they quickly found and followed the now-clearly marked path.
"I don't know, I was asleep. The light woke me up."
Sirius stopped short; Remus walked straight into him, not having realized he'd stopped. "Last night...did, um, did we...?"
Remus blushed. "Oh god. Unless you and I had the same dream...yes."
Sirius looked at him incredulously. "That was no dream," he said. "Do you wish it had been?"
Remus looked down, then back at Sirius. His gray eyes were not judgmental, merely curious. "No," he admitted. "Last night was one of the best nights I've ever had."
Sirius grinned. "I tend to have that effect on people."
Remus groaned and poked him to move forward. "Get out of here, you conceited bastard," he said, laughing.
"But you love me!" Sirius insisted. "I am so lovable; why do you think I turn into a puppy?"
"You're not so much of a puppy anymore," Remus pointed out.
"But you love me!"
Remus pushed his hair out of his eyes a little later, when they'd been quiet for more than thirty seconds. "Was last night okay for you?" he asked.
Sirius beamed at him. "It was fantastic," he said. "Seriously, Moony. I would do it again right now if I didn't want to burn down this cornfield so badly."
"And just think," Remus said, "you were the one who was so excited about it in the first place."
"Until the ghouls jumped out at me!" he cried. "Dirty cheaters, all of them!" Suddenly, he squinted, looking ahead as far as his vision could go. "Hey, look," he said. "I see red hair, and a dark-haired blob of stalker right next to it!"
"It's Lily and James!" Remus said excitedly.
"LILY! JAMES!" Sirius called. "COME BACK HERE AND WAIT FOR YOUR FAVORITE BOYS!"
They turned around, waved, and kept walking.
"They're walking together, Moony," Sirius said.
"So I see."
"D'you think they had as good a night as we did?"
"Nah. Lily would never."
"But James would."
Remus gasped, horrified. "Are you—do you really—Sirius, James Potter is not a rapist!"
"That's not what your mother said."
"Leave my mother out of this!"
888888888888
"Congratulations, boys," Dumbledore said, shaking hands first with Severus and then with Peter. "How did you two find your way out?"
Peter screwed up his face in thought. "We just kept walking and walking until there was no corn anymore."
Severus rolled his eyes. "Unfortunately, he's right."
"Very good, very good," said Dumbledore. "I commend you two on your House partnership as well, and will thus reward Slytherin and Gryffindor seventy-five points each!"
At the flick of his wand, fireworks erupted, bathing the whole field in a magical luminescence that seemed to hold an energy all its own.
"D'you hear that, Snape?" Peter said excitedly. "Seventy-five House points each because we worked together so well!"
"Don't speak to me," Severus muttered. "You'll only embarrass us both."
November 1
"Sprott, I am so sorry to see you go," Sirius said in his most sincere voice as the frustrated little garden troll gathered up all his things into a tiny carpet bag. "Really, I am. If you ever need someone to talk to—say, about next year's Halloween plans—you can always count on me."
Sprott rubbed his temples. "How is it that you open your mouth for less than two minutes and I already have a splitting headache? OH! I think it's turning into a migraine. Black, I hate you. If I had the power, I would curse you, your family, and whatever unfortunate progeny you might eventually spawn."
Sirius smiled fondly at Sprott and patted his bald head. "Thanks so much for the offer," he said, "and I'd love to take you up on it, but it's not necessary. My family's already cursed."
Remus tugged on Sirius's sweater. "Come on, let him finish packing. We should be heading back to the castle anyway," he said.
"Yes, yes," Sprott grumbled as Sirius tried to kiss his cheek in farewell. "Go! As far as you can, go!"
"Sorry," Remus said to Sprott, "I'll take care of that." He grabbed Sirius by the collar. "Bad touch," he said firmly. "Let's go."
"Bye, Sprott!" Sirius called as he and Remus started the walk back up to the castle, their hands in each others' back pockets. "Can't wait to see you back here for next Halloween!"
