Celebrian. My Celebrian.

All that i had wanted to say to her left me abandoned as she prepared to depart to visit her home in Lothlorien. What had i wanted to tell her? That she was the most beautiful Elf in all the realms. That naught but her could have made my choice more worthwhile. That i would walk with her in dreams each night until she returned to our home, here in our valley.

I stood on the terrace, adoringly watching her there in the courtyard. I absentmindedly held a dusky purple riding cloak that i was dimly aware belonged around her shoulders. She did not even look like a mere Elf to my eyes. She looked like one who the Valar would envy. Her immaculate white gown that followed her flawless tall, slender form and made her flowing hair gleam like fire, softly framing her beautiful face; the cluster of stars that trailed down from her pointed ears; her lips so red; her flesh so fair; the silver ring wrought like the wilwarin she adored in her garden; the delicate circlet of mithril, set with pearl and adamant as a winding vine and leaves, which rested atop her fiery tresses; and the jewel of the Evenstar about her shapely neck, my gift to her at the birth of our only daughter, Arwen. Yes, all these things would be what most would see when they looked upon my Celebrian. What i saw was more than just this. What i saw was something that could not be described, not if i employed every tongue and script in Eru's knowledge. I saw perfection, pure and elegant.

Finally, and without my complete awareness, i walked down to the courtyard and went to her. For a moment or two, i do not know how long, i stood gazing into her deep, curious eyes. There i found love and contentment that made my heart swell painfully. I glanced down at the cloak i was holding and draped it about her shoulders, momentarily using it as an excuse to embrace her. When my hand brushed her shoulder, though, no excuse was longer necessary. I pulled her into my arms, holding her tightly. "Im meleth le," i whispered, mostly because i was having difficulty speaking.

Her response almost startled me. A light laughter like a spring birdsong swept past my ear. I pulled back only slightly to gaze at her questioningly.

"I shall only be gone a short while, my Elrond, yet you act as though we are parting forevermore," she said sweetly.

"It shall seem so, without you here," i replied earnestly.

Celebrian smiled and i melted all over again. "You will not even notice i have been gone a month before i shall return," she said, and she moved to her palfrey. I lifted her up into her saddle and took her hands in mine. She leant forward and granted me a kiss. "Im meleth le, Elrond," she whispered ere she was off to Lorien.

"I shall watch for your return!" i called after her and her host. She turned in her saddle and looked back at me with a beautiful light in her eyes. It was then i noticed that i had tears in mine.

One month later.

I had been up far too late the night before hosting several visiting Naugrim from Ered Luin. I was practically falling asleep in the library. My eyes i could tell were glazing already and i had just begun to slip into the realm of dreams when the clattering of hooves in the courtyard and frightened shouting jolted me wide awake.

I rushed outdoors to where i heard the commotion to see one of my sons, i was not really sure at the moment which, he looked like he had been riding night and day. I went to him quickly but he came to me quicker.

"Yrch!" he growled furiously as he ran past me.

My eyes grew wide in fear and i ran after him, following him to one of the healing rooms. I expected to see him tear off a sleeve to reveal to me a wound that he needed me to care for, i might have been growing used to such things from my sons, but instead he seemed to be preparing the room. I feared for his brother. "Elladan, what has happened? Where is Elrohir?" i said calmly, the healer in me refusing to be too concerned over that which i did not even know yet.

My son turned to me and for all the frightening fury he had rushed in with, now all i saw in him was fear and pain. He looked ready to collapse on the bed himself and i plainly saw the tears streaming down his face. My heart began to race as Elladan opened his mouth several times to tell me something, each time stopping short. Why could he not tell me where Elrohir was?! "Elladan," i said, placing a steadying hand on his shoulder - i had to be strong enough for him to tell me what was going on - "where is Elrohir?" i repeated.

Elladan took a deep breath and drew himself up as though gathering all the courage he could find. "He is coming, adar. They will be here soon." That was all he managed to say before silent tears began to flow again. His tone had been slow and soft and filled with hurt. I wondered and feared who "they" were.

"What about orcs, El'?" i asked, hoping i sounded gentle enough. "Is your brother hurt? What medicine do i need to prepare?"

I guessed that i wasn't quite gentle enough when Elladan broke out into unmasked sobs. Mentally i ran through a list of all the potions i might be needing and i knew that if my son was requiring more than just potions i would need my seneschal's help as well. I never could bear to administer a suture to my sons relatively frequent scratches.

I held Elladan close to me and finally his inhalation rate became nearly regular again. "Adar... Elrohir is fine. It is... adar!" my son cried, trying to get a handle on his breathing, clutching onto me tightly. Never had i seen any of my children this distressed and i was becoming hugely afraid. "Naneth!" my son cried in a gasping wail.

I froze. It was like being thrown into the iciest of lakes in the dead of winter. I could not breathe, i could not move, i could not think. Then heat began to creep back to me as i heard more horses rushing toward the house, consuming heat that made my heart beat out of control and made me sweat and tremble. Mostly unaware of my actions i ran from the healing room, blindly making for the courtyard. I later learned that i had knocked over no less than three Elves of the elleth variety and one very ancient sculpture.

There in courtyard my other son was just pulling his horse to a stop. His mother, my wife, my Celebrian laid unconscious in front of him. I felt sick when i saw her covered in those black and red stains. As another Elf, later i learned it was Glorfindel, made to take her from Elrohir i ran forth and flung the other aside, taking her into my own trembling arms. I held her like that for i do not know how long. I was no longer aware of anyone or anything else.

Celebrian. Her fine hair was coarse and matted with the black blood of orcs, her fair face was covered in cuts and more black stains, the same kind that were all over her neck. She laid there in my arms, apparently wrapped in naught but her riding cloak. Suddenly the terrible fury that my son had displayed earlier took me and i transferred my precious Celebrian back to Elrohir, who i knew only by pure instinct was standing beside me. I ran to fetch Hadafang and in a flash i was running back through the courtyard in the direction my sons had rode in from. I did not even really know what i was going to do, i just wanted something to suffer for this, immediately. Glorfindel caught me quickly though and despite the fact that i put up a struggle he did not let me have my way. A slap or two to bring me back to reality and all the golden-haired Vanya said to me was, "Go to her, Elrond. NOW!"

My tears broke their hold as i nodded wordlessly, dropping Hadafang and running back to my wife, who i found lying in the healing room Elladan had ready. I could not examine her myself, though i had tried and eventually my most trusted advisor Erestor had to virtually drag me from the room to allow Glorfindel to take over. When he came out he told me that she would live but only with our complete strength put forth. He then took my hand and in it gingerly placed an object. When i looked at the jewel i had gifted my beloved it hardly shone at all and looked dull and lifeless as she herself did. Glorfindel later told me that he had found it clenched tightly in her delicate fist, which was anything but delicate to pry open.

For the next week i did not sleep or eat. I sat at Celebrian's bedside, blind, deaf, and dumb to all but her. I tried to wait for her to wake before i put forth my power to try to call back her very being, but at the end of the week i knew i would not have the power left if i did not call her soon. When i rested my hand on her forehead and delved into her subconscious, calling for her, i had the most terrible visions i have ever been cursed with. Black beasts of Sauron closed in on her, they had killed her host and only she remained. They had no interest in killing her though. I wanted to shut my mind to what i knew was going to come next, but if i did i would not be able to reach her fëa to call her back. I suffered through seeing all that she suffered at their horrible, hideous hands until i saw my sons and their Dunedain come, slaying every orc they saw.

My Celebrian woke then under my touch. I looked into her silver eyes and i knew she was no longer there. I knew in that one moment that it would be very soon that she would be departing again. This time to the West. I knew she could no longer stay in Middle-earth, and it was much more than just a poisoned wound that would force her departure. I knew it, but i fought as hard as ever to heal her a little bit more every day. I kept going only on the sheer hope that she would get better and then everything would go back to the way it was before. I knew i would never be glad again without her.

One year later.

I stood on the pier at Mithlond beside my beautiful Celebrian. No longer the picture of Elven vigor and happiness, she was now ashen pale, her light gown hardly holding to her gaunt figure. Her hair hung limply down her back and when she smiled to me and took my hand i could tell that it took far too much of her diminishing strength to do so.

I held her gently, so afraid she would fall apart in my arms. I softly rested my head against hers that rested on my shoulder as i sobbed into her hair. I did not want her to go, but i knew it was her only chance to be what she once was: happy and strong and beautiful, though i knew that i would no longer be glad again until i too sailed.

I gazed at her devotedly. I still loved her with every fiber of my being, that would not be stopped by anything. She withdrew her hand from mine and i found there her jewel. "That is for Arwen now," she said in a whisper, mostly because she could not speak any louder in her condition. I was not even conscious of the fact that our three children were standing there as well.

I began to weep all over again looking at her Evenstar in my hand. It was starting to glow ever so faintly again, but my Celebrian was not. I wanted to scream, i wanted to shout and curse the Valar for this. This was not meant for an Elf! Not my Celebrian! Why... why did it have to be her?!

Her hand on my cheek stilled all my rage though, as she leaned forward to kiss me softly.

I became aware that i was absentmindedly holding onto a purple traveling cloak for dear life and my shaking hands moved to wrap it around her shoulders as they had done one year earlier. It felt like every bit of me was hurting when she whispered "im meleth le." I had to find enough air in my lungs to say the same. There were a thousand other things i wanted to say, things i had never gotten around to telling her that i loved about her. Suddenly i could not think of even one, all i knew was that i did love her, here and now, always and forever.

When my old friend Círdan placed a hand on my shoulder i knew that the ship was about to depart and take my beloved away from me until i went to her. I started to feel numb all over. I watched as she boarded the ship and our tearful eyes met for the last time in i wondered how many centuries, millennia, ages. I was doomed to dream about her every single night until i was at her side again.

As the ship began to slip further and further from the pier of the Havens i could stand no longer and dropping to my knees i shouted tearfully, "I love you, Celebrian! I love you...."

"I shall watch for your coming...." my Elf ears just caught her reply to me. I looked up to see light returning to her as she slipped away from me and tears slipped from my eyes, a thousand liquid 'i love yous' added to the Sea she was crossing.

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This is the first one-shot i have done here. My Halloween costume this year was Celebrian, since it is more fun to explain the costume and everything than just to say, "i'm an Elf." So that was sort of the inspiration for this little fic. Hope you all enjoyed it!