I'VE FINALLY UPDATED!!!! I've never been so happy about posting something. I've been sitting on this story since 'Haunted' aired. That was a looooooong time ago. Thanks to all who have been patient. I'm hoping this was worth your wait.
Now, I need to let you all know this is a ONE-SHOT!!! No more chapters after this. Just one! Sorry for the ickyness, but some people just aren't smart.
Disclaimer: Nope. I don't own Teen Titans.
Heart to Heart
A dismal calm had consumed the tower, silencing all its inhabitants, at least for the remainder of the night. They had all witnessed something tonight. Something they thought was behind them. Someone they thought was gone for good. Or perhaps they should have seen this coming? But there was no sense in worrying about it right now. It was in the past.
Yet Raven still found herself walking down the narrow hallway, stopping in front of the steel plated door, his name written across the front in clean, crisp letters. She raised her slender fist to knock, but paused in mid-air.
What had brought her to her leader's room at this late hour? And why her sudden apprehension?
She knew the answer to her questions, and it came as no surprise that both answers were one in the same.
That night she had seen a part of her fearless leader. A part of him that she was not meant to see. Not meant for anyone to see.
Swallowing her anxiety, she rapped lightly on the door. A short moment later Robin appeared before her, no signs of sleep in his face. It didn't surprise Raven to see her friend awake at such an atrocious hour. The boy wonder was known for his late nights and early mornings. There were times when she wondered if he even slept at all.
"Do you want to come in?" His voice held the distinct tone that he had been expecting her. Again she was not surprised. After all, it was his job to know everything. Nodding, she walked past Robin, who had stepped aside to let her in.
Walking in, Raven suddenly realized that this was her first trip into his room. Not even Starfire, as close as she was to the boy wonder's heart, had made it this far into his sanctuary. It was, more or less, the way she had expected it to be. A bed pushed into the far back corner, a pile of dirty clothes mounting in the corner, and a few choice band posters scattering the other otherwise bare walls.
'A normal teenager's room', she thought mournfully to herself, knowing full well that none of them would ever live the life of normal teenagers.
And one glance at his desk was enough to prove that. The desk was angled haphazardly, as if it was never left in the same spot for long. Newspaper clippings littered the smooth mahogany surface, along with a few other items that Raven couldn't make out specifically.
But the eeriest part of her leader's room was the one thing she hadn't expected. There was not one single window. She knew Robin's heart was closed off, similar to the way hers was. But she had had no idea that he was also closed off from life. Was this really how he wanted to live?
He made no sound as he closed his door, and, mindful of his injuries, moved back to his bed.
"You should be resting," she broke the silence, already aware that her statement had been a pointless one.
"My injuries aren't that bad," he retorted quietly.
"Your physical ones, yes," she pushed further.
"I'm fine."
This was the normal extent of 99 percent of their conversations together. It was obvious to anyone that the two of them weren't the best of friends. Most people assumed they would be close, as much as they had in common with one another. But it's difficult for two people who hate to be in the company of others to have what you would call 'civil' conversation.
She let the silence carry on for a moment longer before breaking it.
"Do you really expect me to forget what I saw so easily?"
If Robin had been surprised to hear her bring it up, he didn't show it.
"You didn't see anything," he stated simply. Raven couldn't help but roll her eyes in disgust. Did he honestly think she was that blind? Or maybe he really had gone insane? Just as she was about to ask again, he spoke. His voice was softer than before, his tone flat.
"Can't you just...forget it?"
She took a seat next to him on the bed, letting his request sink in.
"I can forget it. But, Robin, you can't."
He let out a bitter laugh, his head hanging between his shoulders. He had long since shed the tattered uniform, slipping into a pair of gym shorts and a white tank top. Again, she entertained the idea of a normal teenager, but the reality of the situation put an end to those particular thoughts.
"I forgot those things a long time ago, Raven." It had been the first time he addressed her directly. And the seriousness accompanied with his tone sent a chill down her spine.
"But that was your...how could you forget something..." She was having a hard enough time wrapping her mind around the idea of anyone even living through the images she saw, let alone dealing with them growing up. How could he do something as easily as forget? Her frustration was reaching breaking point, and both of them jumped when a small explosion took place at the far corner of the room.
"That was my favorite pair of sunglasses," he deadpanned. Letting out a slow breath, she turned to Robin, ready to try again.
"You obviously haven't forgotten. How else would I be able to see what I saw?"
"Magic."
She wasn't getting anywhere.
"They were your parents, weren't they?" They both knew what she had been referring too. His lack of answer was enough confirmation for Raven. "And...the bat cave...?" Again she was met with silence.
"Look, I appreciate what you did for me. Helping me and all...but this is none of your concern." He had stood and crossed to the other side of the room, pushing through his obvious pain. Again, she could feel her anger sparking up. Taking a calming breath, she tightened her patience for another blow.
"You can't avoid this forever, Robin."
"Watch me."
A low growl emitted from the empath as she gracefully stalked closer and closer to the boy wonder, her eyes narrowed with incomparable anger. Robin, never being one to back away from a challenge, stood stark still as his teammate advanced on him dangerously.
"Bastard," she hissed between her teeth. "You foul, loathsome, hateful, little boy!" A similar growl began to emit from Robin. "Can't you see what you're doing? Or are you so selfish that you can't stop to consider your friends?"
"Raven," he forced through gritted teeth, trying to calm his own waves of anger.
"No! I'm sick of your excuses. Yes, you have it hard. Who of us hasn't? But no one else has locked themselves away in the darkness. Why, Robin? What makes it so much worse for you?"
He swallowed, watching the tumults of rage that glared at him behind Raven's eyes. He had only seen her like this on a small number of occasions. They could only be counted on one hand, and in anyone's opinion, one was too many times to have a run in with her demons.
"Darkness is all I have," he finally choked out. She backed up a few inches, shaking her head disbelievingly. Hopeless.
"You really are blind, aren't you?"
He made no move to reply. She suddenly felt guilty for her harsh words. She had let her anger take control, if only for a moment, and now the rift between her and her leader was greater than before.
"You may think that's all you have, but you're wrong. I've seen what's inside your mind, Robin. And along with that I've seen what's in your heart."
Again she was met with silence, but she accepted it as a fact that he was listening, and not just brushing her off again. Placing a hand carefully on his shoulder, she gave her friend a critical glance.
"How long are you going to keep these things from her?"
Nothing more was spoken between the two. Raven quietly took her leave, heading back into the dark abyss of the hallway. She stood a moment longer outside his room, listening to the sounds of her once fearless leader muttering to himself like a child. A part of her wanted to go back in, but what then? Would she comfort him?
Certainly not.
No. For now, it was better to just walk away. Somewhere in their home, there was one person who could reach his wounded heart. And in due time, she would smooth away the scars that fate had twisted. They just had to be patient.
It was quiet in the infirmary, save a wheeze or two from a small cot in the corner where the green changeling had recently passed out, no doubt from an overdose on Nyquil. Cyborg, unable to sleep, was currently tinkering away at some of the electronics that Robin had successfully smashed to pieces in his escape. In a way, he was almost glad they were broken. It gave him something to concentrate on other than the events of that night. He cast a glance to the other side of the room, where Starfire stood, humming softly to herself as she covered Beastboy with a blanket. Despite her calm demeanor, he could tell she was one step away from a breakdown.
No one ever gave Star enough credit for her impeccable acting skills.
It was hard for him to see her like this. Cyborg was particularly fond of the Tamaranian princess. Not in the same manner as Robin, of course. What he felt for the alien girl was the feeling, he assumed, one would have for a little sister. He wanted to protect her from everything and everyone who would try to hurt her, and that included their great and mighty leader.
He watched silently, as Starfire unfolded and folded the same blanket, her eyes taking on a glazed look. The usual sparkle was now gone from their emerald depths. She had seemed fine before...when Robin had been in the room. Perhaps the act had been for him and him alone. This struck an odd note with Cyborg; he had always assumed the two were truly themselves while in the company of only each other. Now it seemed to be the other way around.
Starfire hadn't told anyone what happened between her and their leader. But no one needed to ask. The fresh bruise marring her arm and the tears staining her cheeks was evidence enough.
Robin had hurt her.
But what was he supposed to do about it? Cyborg wanted to comfort her; give her an encouraging word, maybe even a friendly hug. But the best he could manage was a hand on her shoulder, and a drop of the boy wonder's name. That's usually what it boiled down to in the end. He didn't enjoy the fact that Robin was the only one who could subdue the Tamaranian's pain, but until now it had never been an issue.
He crossed the room, stopping in front of the tall girl.
"Hey, how about I check out your arm for you?" The question was pressed lightly, but he gave no room for her to back away from an answer. Long fingers subconsciously drifted to her arm as she turned her gaze awkwardly down.
"You need not worry yourself, Cyborg. I am undamaged."
"Liar," he smirked, leading her to a chair. He took a seat himself in front of her, taking her arm delicately in his mechanical hands.
"Please, Cyborg. I truly am fine." Her words did little to convince him as he gave a small amount of pressure to her arm, eliciting a small yelp from the alien girl. She shot him a glare, or at least as much of glare as Starfire could give. Resisting the urge to speak the words "I told you so," he settled for applying the cooling cream to his friend's injury. She was quiet as he worked, her eyes focused on the dingy tiles below her feet.
Again the silence had enveloped the room; something that had become a commonplace with the two of them. Cyborg again tried to think of way to comfort Star, but any words he hoped to use just would not come. It didn't seem fair. In his time of unease she had known exactly what to say.
How did she make it look so easy?
"Cyborg?"
"Yeah, Star?"
"Robin...he will be okay?" Her eyes had left the floor and were now pinned to his own.
"Uh, yeah...yeah, Star. He'll be fine." She kept her eyes on him, as she considered the answer. After a few minutes, she spoke up.
"You are being untruthful..." Despite her words, she smiled, probably hoping to lighten the somber mood that had taken control of the conversation. Cyborg was grateful, and even managed a light small smile himself.
"When did you get so smart?" He joked with her softly. A soft hue came over her cheeks as she intertwined her fingers modestly.
"Robin is an amazing teacher." Shaking his head softly, Cyborg placed his massive hand on her shoulder.
"I wouldn't give him all the credit." Starfire lowered her gaze, her face growing darker from the sudden onslaught of compliments she was receiving. The mechanical teen was growing frustrated with the turn of the conversation. If he wanted to talk about Robin he would have...well, he didn't really want to talk about Robin at all.
"What about you, Star? Are you going to be alright?"
A slight nod was his answer, something that didn't surprise him. Starfire could spend hours talking about anything from the number of dots on the ceiling to the geological history of a waffle, but she hated talking about herself. And she avoided it at all costs.
"Now who's being untruthful?" He leaned back his chair, his arms crossed casually over his chest. He wanted a straight answer, and he wanted it now. She ducked her head, her bottom lip caught between her teeth.
"I am feeling...the guilt..."
"G-Guilty...for what?"
"I..." She failed to answer, her fingers subconsciously clutching at the purple fabric of her skirt.
"Come on, Star," he urged her, "you can tell me."
"I..." she looked up at him, fear flooding from her emerald orbs, her voice barely a whisper, "I hurt him."
Realization dawned on Cyborg as he stared down at the shuddering Tamaranian princess, and he wasn't happy about it. Stifling a growl, he gritted his teeth and placed a hand on her shoulder.
"You didn't do anything wrong, Starfire." She shrugged his hand away, a defiant look crossing through her eyes.
"I did do something wrong! I hurt him. I could have...I could have killed him..." Her voice had started at a near scream, but by the end she had wilted, her voice no more than a whisper.
"But you didn't, Star," he reasoned softly, afraid to set off the emotional alien once again. "In fact, you probably saved his life."
"But you have already proven that he might be more undamaged then he has led us to believe. It is because I have injured him, is it not?"
Cyborg shook his head, replacing his hand on her shoulder once more.
"Robin's one of the strongest people I know. His body's gonna be fine." Her brow scrunched together as she looked up at him.
"Then what did you mean?"
He heaved a sigh, wondering if Starfire was even going to understand his answer.
"I meant his mind, Star." She turned away again, her brow still knitted together. Finally, she nodded, understanding what he had intended to say.
"He was not himself tonight?"
It was more of a statement than a question.
"No, he wasn't."
"He..." her hand drifted to her arm, "was angry with me. What did I do wrong?"
This where Cyborg had to stop and collect his thoughts. He was finding it more and more difficult to hold his anger at the boy wonder. Here he was, listening to Starfire pour her heart out while their so called leader was up in his room feeling sorry for himself. This whole thing was his fault in the first place. True, he had apologized to the team, but he had failed to pull Starfire aside for a personal apology. Robin of all people should know how the alien girl's mind worked. And now she was sitting in the cold infirmary, wondering what she did wrong.
It wasn't fair.
"Cyborg?" He turned at the sound of her voice.
"How do you do it?"
"Do what?" He shook his head at her words. She really didn't know.
"Care? Worry? How do you put everyone else, even those who don't deserve it, before yourself?"
She smiled. Not her normal, I'm-the-happiest-person-in-the-world smile, but a mournful twitch of her lips that didn't quite reach her eyes. No answer was accompanied with it. He heaved a tired sigh, his head swimming, his eyes growing tired.
"I have upset you?"
"No, Star," he assured, forcing a smile with his answer. "It's just...he doesn't deserve your concern."
She stood, a knowing smile gracing her lips.
"But he does Cyborg...and one day, I am sure he will return the favor."
He threw up his hands, a real smile gracing his features, and a bark of laughter escaping his lips.
"I give up, Star. You win!"
"Thank you for tending to my wound," she stated, bowing slightly, a habit she had picked up from one of Beastboy's samurai movies.
"No prob. Now you should probably get some sleep."
"Good Night, Cyborg," she called out before leaving him alone in the room with his thoughts. Turning back to the machinery, he continued his slow work, hoping to get drive the conversation from his head. It did anything but. Maybe Star was right, and Robin would eventually realize his feelings for the Tamaranian girl. He doubted the stubborn leader could ever understand what emotions even were, but there was always that chance he could be wrong. They would just have to be patient.
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I'm having fun with the Caps Lock button today.
