Disclaimers: You know 'em: don't own this stuff. Rockstar and MTV do.
This is fiction, not fact.
Well, you've waited long enough. Here's Episode XV of Max Payne & Co. present...
The Real World
MTV Announcer: For our Spanish-speaking audience, tonight's introduction will be given in Spanish.
Max: Este es el cuento...
Mona: de siete personas...
Mike: escogido para vivir en una casa...
Annie: y tener sus vidas recordadas.
Vinnie: Descubre lo que pasa...
Kaufman: No puedo hablar español...
Lisa: y comienzan siendo real...
All: ¡El Mundo Real: Nueva York!
(The MTV Network building, Manhattan, around 9 AM)
(We see the gang enter the lobby, dressed in business-casual wear. Mike is wearing a bolo tie and his cowboy hat. The others hang back a bit while Max goes to the front desk and speaks to the guard, dressed in a silver and black BDU. He is one of the Aesir building guards from MP1.)
Guard: Can I help you sir?
Max: Yes. We're from "The Real World," and we need to speak to the executive producer.
Guard: Okay, one sec. (Gets on the phone and dials) Yes. A bunch of people are here. They say they're from "The Real World," and that they need to speak to the executive producer... Okay, I'm sending them up now. (Hangs up) All right. Go on up. Her office is on the 65th floor.
Max: Thank you.
Max: (confessional) Well, let's hope this goes well. I hope that having the others with me will help the executive producer see our side like a ghost whose body isn't his own.
(The gang walks through the lobby and gets on the elevator. They press the button for the 65th floor and ride the lift up. As soon as it stops, they get off. They go down a long hallway to the end. There is a set of double doors at the end, guarded by two men in dark suits, shades, and wearing earpieces – the killer suits from MP1.)
Max: Hello. We're here to speak with the executive producer.
Killer Suit #1: And you are?
Mona: We're from The Real World. The guard from the lobby sent us up.
Killer Suit #2: Okay. Go on in.
(The killer suits open the doors to reveal the executive producer – Nicole Horne!)
Vinnie: (whispering to Max) Hey Payne, isn't that that Horne person from the Asgard building?
Max: (whispering back) Yeah, it is. It's a small world, like all the populous crammed into an 8x10 cell.
Horne: May I help you?
Max: So you're the executive producer for The Real World.
Horne: Yes. Your producer said you wanted to talk to me.
Max: He said you weren't too happy with us going on the public access channel, or with the party.
Horne: Hmmm... Oh yes. I do remember that. You guys need to remember that you are representing MTV, and that public access channel is still our competition. Your going on that channel is a conflict of interest. We can't have you guys giving our competitors free advertising.
Max: Okay, point taken. But what about the party? We just wanted to keep the show interesting.
Horne: That party cost us way too much money. You guys need to be more budget-minded in your activities. (phone rings) Excuse me.
(Horne picks up the phone)
Horne: Nicole Horne... Yes... Right... Okay, have the jet waiting for me at JFK. I'll be there... Right, put all charges on the network account... Okay, thank you. (hangs up the phone)
Max: (sarcastic) Yeah, okay, "budget-minded."
Horne: Now, if you guys will excuse me, I have to fly to Washington, D.C. I'm meeting with the President. (gestures to the killer suits) These guys will see you out.
(The killer suits escort the group to the elevator. They ride it down to the lobby and exit the building.)
Mona: (confessional) God, that Nicole Horne's a real b(bleep)ch. And a hypocrite to boot. She's gonna tell us we need to be budget-minded, then use the network account for her own personal use. Typical corporate scum.
Max: (confessional) Why is an MTV executive producer flying to Washington to meet with the President of the United States? This is funnier than a clown with elevator shoes on his head and a ten-gallon hat on his feet. I really think we should take a good look at her.
(The house, later)
(We see Max, Mona, and Vinnie on the couch, watching TV. Mike and Annie are in the kitchen, cooking dinner for the gang. Lisa is reading Kaufman's palm, with Kaufman not exactly enjoying himself, but enduring it.)
Lisa: Okay, let's look at your marriage line... Hmmm... It looks like you'll have a pretty good marriage, but it won't happen for a few years... Okay, and your life line...
Vinnie: Hey Lisa. Y'oughtta try to read Horne's palm. I'll bet she's got a looooong life line, and NO marriage line. He, he, he...
(the rest of the group laughs)
TV Announcer: We interrupt this programming to bring you this special news bulletin...
(the group, including Mike and Annie, gather around the TV to watch)
TV News Anchor: Good evening. Approximately one hour ago, an armed group seized control of the White House and is now holding the President and his staff hostage. The group is believed to be lead by this woman, Nicole Horne (picture of Horne shows up on the screen), but nothing else is known about this woman, or about the group. The group is demanding access to all military intelligence files and one billion dollars. Stay tuned to this station for more updates as they unfold...
Max: (confessional) I knew there was something strange about her. Taking over the world. That's about as in as drawstring pants.
Annie: (confessional) We gotta do something about this. Tell the cops, the FBI, or something. We can't just sit here while Horne holds the President hostage.
(We hear a knock at the door. Max goes over and answers the door to reveal... the killer suits, flanked by many NYPD cops.)
Max: Uhhh, can I help you gentlemen?
Killer Suit #1: Max Payne?
Max: Yeah?
Killer Suit #1: Max Payne, Mona Sax, Vinnie Gognitti, Annie Finn, Mike the Cowboy, Lisa Punchinello, and Kaufman: we have a warrant for your arrest. Cuff 'em men.
(The cops come in and proceed to cuff the entire group. They are completely dumbfounded.)
Mona: What the hell is this!? On what charge?
Killer Suit #2: Impeding an official government operation.
NYPD Officer #1: You have the right to remain silent...
Vinnie: What the f(bleep)k is this? We didn't do s(bleep)t! I want my lawyer...
NYPD Officer #1: If you choose to give up this right, anything you say...
(the officer continues reading the gang their rights as the killer suits and the cops escort the group out of the house and put them in squad cars)
MTV Announcer: Uh oh. The gang in jail? Will they be able to find a way out? And will Horne get away with taking the President hostage? Stay tuned for more, on The Real World...
Sorry this is kind of short, but it's been ages since I've updated, so I needed to get a chapter out to you. Hope you guys like it anyway. And I will have more coming, so keep watching. Oh, and please R&R as usual.
This is fiction, not fact.
Well, you've waited long enough. Here's Episode XV of Max Payne & Co. present...
The Real World
MTV Announcer: For our Spanish-speaking audience, tonight's introduction will be given in Spanish.
Max: Este es el cuento...
Mona: de siete personas...
Mike: escogido para vivir en una casa...
Annie: y tener sus vidas recordadas.
Vinnie: Descubre lo que pasa...
Kaufman: No puedo hablar español...
Lisa: y comienzan siendo real...
All: ¡El Mundo Real: Nueva York!
(The MTV Network building, Manhattan, around 9 AM)
(We see the gang enter the lobby, dressed in business-casual wear. Mike is wearing a bolo tie and his cowboy hat. The others hang back a bit while Max goes to the front desk and speaks to the guard, dressed in a silver and black BDU. He is one of the Aesir building guards from MP1.)
Guard: Can I help you sir?
Max: Yes. We're from "The Real World," and we need to speak to the executive producer.
Guard: Okay, one sec. (Gets on the phone and dials) Yes. A bunch of people are here. They say they're from "The Real World," and that they need to speak to the executive producer... Okay, I'm sending them up now. (Hangs up) All right. Go on up. Her office is on the 65th floor.
Max: Thank you.
Max: (confessional) Well, let's hope this goes well. I hope that having the others with me will help the executive producer see our side like a ghost whose body isn't his own.
(The gang walks through the lobby and gets on the elevator. They press the button for the 65th floor and ride the lift up. As soon as it stops, they get off. They go down a long hallway to the end. There is a set of double doors at the end, guarded by two men in dark suits, shades, and wearing earpieces – the killer suits from MP1.)
Max: Hello. We're here to speak with the executive producer.
Killer Suit #1: And you are?
Mona: We're from The Real World. The guard from the lobby sent us up.
Killer Suit #2: Okay. Go on in.
(The killer suits open the doors to reveal the executive producer – Nicole Horne!)
Vinnie: (whispering to Max) Hey Payne, isn't that that Horne person from the Asgard building?
Max: (whispering back) Yeah, it is. It's a small world, like all the populous crammed into an 8x10 cell.
Horne: May I help you?
Max: So you're the executive producer for The Real World.
Horne: Yes. Your producer said you wanted to talk to me.
Max: He said you weren't too happy with us going on the public access channel, or with the party.
Horne: Hmmm... Oh yes. I do remember that. You guys need to remember that you are representing MTV, and that public access channel is still our competition. Your going on that channel is a conflict of interest. We can't have you guys giving our competitors free advertising.
Max: Okay, point taken. But what about the party? We just wanted to keep the show interesting.
Horne: That party cost us way too much money. You guys need to be more budget-minded in your activities. (phone rings) Excuse me.
(Horne picks up the phone)
Horne: Nicole Horne... Yes... Right... Okay, have the jet waiting for me at JFK. I'll be there... Right, put all charges on the network account... Okay, thank you. (hangs up the phone)
Max: (sarcastic) Yeah, okay, "budget-minded."
Horne: Now, if you guys will excuse me, I have to fly to Washington, D.C. I'm meeting with the President. (gestures to the killer suits) These guys will see you out.
(The killer suits escort the group to the elevator. They ride it down to the lobby and exit the building.)
Mona: (confessional) God, that Nicole Horne's a real b(bleep)ch. And a hypocrite to boot. She's gonna tell us we need to be budget-minded, then use the network account for her own personal use. Typical corporate scum.
Max: (confessional) Why is an MTV executive producer flying to Washington to meet with the President of the United States? This is funnier than a clown with elevator shoes on his head and a ten-gallon hat on his feet. I really think we should take a good look at her.
(The house, later)
(We see Max, Mona, and Vinnie on the couch, watching TV. Mike and Annie are in the kitchen, cooking dinner for the gang. Lisa is reading Kaufman's palm, with Kaufman not exactly enjoying himself, but enduring it.)
Lisa: Okay, let's look at your marriage line... Hmmm... It looks like you'll have a pretty good marriage, but it won't happen for a few years... Okay, and your life line...
Vinnie: Hey Lisa. Y'oughtta try to read Horne's palm. I'll bet she's got a looooong life line, and NO marriage line. He, he, he...
(the rest of the group laughs)
TV Announcer: We interrupt this programming to bring you this special news bulletin...
(the group, including Mike and Annie, gather around the TV to watch)
TV News Anchor: Good evening. Approximately one hour ago, an armed group seized control of the White House and is now holding the President and his staff hostage. The group is believed to be lead by this woman, Nicole Horne (picture of Horne shows up on the screen), but nothing else is known about this woman, or about the group. The group is demanding access to all military intelligence files and one billion dollars. Stay tuned to this station for more updates as they unfold...
Max: (confessional) I knew there was something strange about her. Taking over the world. That's about as in as drawstring pants.
Annie: (confessional) We gotta do something about this. Tell the cops, the FBI, or something. We can't just sit here while Horne holds the President hostage.
(We hear a knock at the door. Max goes over and answers the door to reveal... the killer suits, flanked by many NYPD cops.)
Max: Uhhh, can I help you gentlemen?
Killer Suit #1: Max Payne?
Max: Yeah?
Killer Suit #1: Max Payne, Mona Sax, Vinnie Gognitti, Annie Finn, Mike the Cowboy, Lisa Punchinello, and Kaufman: we have a warrant for your arrest. Cuff 'em men.
(The cops come in and proceed to cuff the entire group. They are completely dumbfounded.)
Mona: What the hell is this!? On what charge?
Killer Suit #2: Impeding an official government operation.
NYPD Officer #1: You have the right to remain silent...
Vinnie: What the f(bleep)k is this? We didn't do s(bleep)t! I want my lawyer...
NYPD Officer #1: If you choose to give up this right, anything you say...
(the officer continues reading the gang their rights as the killer suits and the cops escort the group out of the house and put them in squad cars)
MTV Announcer: Uh oh. The gang in jail? Will they be able to find a way out? And will Horne get away with taking the President hostage? Stay tuned for more, on The Real World...
Sorry this is kind of short, but it's been ages since I've updated, so I needed to get a chapter out to you. Hope you guys like it anyway. And I will have more coming, so keep watching. Oh, and please R&R as usual.