Disclaimers: Don't own 'em. Rockstar and MTV do.
Fiction, not fact.
A/N: There will be FIVE more episodes after this one! (And MAYBE one more commercial...)
Okay, now that I've said what I gotta say, here's Episode XIX of Max Payne & Co. present...
The Real World
Max: This is the story...
Mona: of seven strangers...
Vinnie: picked to live on a farm...
Annie: and have their lives taped.
Kaufman: Find out what happens...
Lisa: when people stop being polite...
Mike: and start being real...
Everyone: The Real World: B.F.E.
(The Winterson Farm, late morning)
(We see the gang coming out from the house just after finishing breakfast. Max, Vinnie, Kaufman, and Vladimir return to working the grain fields, while Mike and Annie return with Cooter to the barn with the horses. Winterson takes Mona and Lisa to take care of the chickens.)
(The barn)
(We see Cooter leading Mike and Annie back to the barn. He speaks to them as soon as they enter.)
Cooter: Okay. Now these horses need to be let loose so they can exercise. They need to run around a bit.
Mike: You mean I get to ride them now?
Cooter: (chuckling a bit at Mike's enthusiasm) Yeah, sure. You too, Annie, if you know how.
Annie: Uhhh, I rode a pony once when I was a kid, at a friend's birthday party. I think I can remember.
Cooter: Don't worry. I'll watch and make sure you don't get hurt.
Annie: Thank you.
Mike: (confessional) All right! I've been waiting to do this ever since I was a kid. In Russia I used to watch a lot of cowboy movies, and I always dreamed of riding horses just like those guys.
(Mike and Annie start moving the horses out of the barn and into a fenced-in area where they can run around, Cooter watching from a short distance away. As soon as they get all the horses out, Mike gets out a saddle for Annie, then goes back and gets one for himself. They each pick out a horse and saddle it up. They both get on and ride. Both Mike and Annie are a bit clumsy at first riding, but they soon get the hang of it.)
Mike: (riding, the horse rapidly trotting along) YEE-HAW!
Annie: (confessional) I forgot how much them saddle-sores hurt. Other than that, it was kinda fun... Boy, Mike sure looked happy. I guess I'm happy for him, gettin' to do something he dreamed of as a kid. Not everyone gets to fulfill that, y'know.
(The hen house, meanwhile)
(We see Winterson leading Mona and Lisa into the hen house.)
Winterson: Okay, now we need to collect all the eggs. Just get 'em from the slots under the hens. I'll help you two with this.
Mona: Okay.
(The three immediately get to work collecting the eggs. While Lisa is gathering eggs from one of the slots, a hen from above pecks her arm. She shrieks, recoils her arm in pain and alarm, and grimaces.)
Lisa: Owwww!
Mona: Lisa? You okay?
Lisa: Owww! One of those damn hens pecked me.
(Mona and Winterson both snicker a bit at Lisa's misfortune.)
Winterson: Don't worry, Lisa. It looks like it's just a scratch.
Lisa: (confessional) First I break a nail, then I get my beautiful arm scratched by a stupid chicken. God, life is soooo unfair.
Winterson: You have to be careful not to make any sudden moves around chickens. They get rather jumpy, and they're feistier than most people think.
Lisa: (under her breath) No s(bleep)t.
Winterson: (whispering to Mona) No offense, but your sister seems a bit... spoiled.
Mona: (also whispering) You have no idea.
(The fields, meanwhile)
(We see Max, Kaufman, and Vinnie continuing slicing the grain shoots, with Vladimir running the thresher. Vinnie decides to try to eat a grain shoot, expecting it to taste like bread, but he quickly finds it doesn't. It tastes terrible, and he quickly spits it out.)
Vinnie: Agh! S(bleep)t!
(Vladimir laughs, and the others chuckle a bit as well.)
(The farm house, around sundown)
(We see all the gang, minus Vinnie, lounging around the living room. Vladimir, Winterson, Cooter, and Mildred are also around. Woden is in the study.)
Mona: That was some hard work, wasn't it guys?
Max: Agreed. My limbs feel like fire eating away at my muscles and bones.
Cooter: Hurtin's good. It's what workin' like a man feels like.
Vladimir: I used to feel like that every day when I first started doing the farm work here. But as time went by, I got used to it, and now I almost welcome it.
Annie: So how's the baby coming along, Winterson?
Winterson: It's doing just fine.
Mike: Do you know if it's going to be a boy or a girl?
Winterson: No, and I asked the doctors not to tell us.
Vladimir: She wants to find out the old-fashioned way.
Lisa: Hey, where's that Woden guy?
Vladimir: He's upstairs in the study, looking over some maps and analyzing some reports. He might come down later, though.
Mona: Well, he can take his time. I'm grateful he helped us and all, but he still creeps me out.
Lisa: Me too.
Kaufman: Where's Vinnie?
Mildred: He said he needed to go into town.
Winterson: Yeah. He said he was going to get some beer.
(A street just outside of Casa di Angelo, Brooklyn, nightfall)
(We see A.J. leaving the restaurant, saying good-bye to a co-worker on her way out. She then walks along the street towards the subway. As she passes by a small park...)
Vinnie: (from behind a bush, whispering) Psst. Hey. A.J. Over here.
(A.J. nervously saunters over to the bush.)
A.J.: Hello?
Vinnie: A.J. It's me, Vinnie.
(Vinnie takes her hand and leads her behind the bush. We now see him – he is wearing a long brown trench coat, a dark brown fedora hat, and a fake mustache, but he takes it off so A.J. can see his face.)
A.J.: Vinnie?
Vinnie: Yeah.
(A.J. inches over towards Vinnie, then all of a sudden gives him a slap in the face!)
Vinnie: OW! What the hell was that for?
A.J.: You don't call me for two days! And now I find out from your lawyer that you escaped from jail!
Vinnie: (cupping his hands over her mouth, whispering) Shh! Shhh! A.J., don't!
(A.J. squeals a bit, but quiets down. Vinnie let's go of her.)
Vinnie: Look. I'm sorry about that. I didn't even know about the bust-out. A buncha guys just came in from outta nowhere and broke out me and my friends. I was gonna wait for my lawyer, but everything happened so fast.
A.J.: You could have at least called me afterward.
Vinnie: They wouldn't let me.
A.J.: Who?
Vinnie: The guys who busted us out. They said the phone signals could be tracked. In fact, neither they nor my friends even know I'm here. They wanted me to stay where I am and not even talk to you.
A.J.: So why are you here?
Vinnie: (after a pause) Because I... wanted to see you again. The truth is... you're the first person I've met that I'm willing to risk my life for.
A.J.: Ohhhh, Vinnie.
(She moves in closer to Vinnie. They kiss. Vinnie stops abruptly, though.)
A.J.: What's wrong, Vinnie?
Vinnie: (quickly putting back on his fake mustache) I just saw a cop drive by. Listen, I gotta go back.
A.J.: Where are you going?
Vinnie: I can't tell you.
(We see a look of disappointment on A.J.'s face.)
Vinnie: Look. It's for your own safety. The less you know the better. (pause) I'll try to find some way to keep in touch with you. I promise. Okay?
A.J.: Yeah, okay.
Vinnie: Thanks for understanding. And I promise I'll see you again. (pause) Bye, A.J.
A.J.: Bye, Vinnie.
(Vinnie straightens up his disguise and then runs off deeper into the park. We see him get into a pick-up truck hidden among some other branches and drive back onto the streets, trying to stay hidden amongst the other cars.)
Vinnie: (confessional) Wow. My first kiss with A.J. Not exactly what I pictured, though. I took her home after that party, but I just shook her hand at the end. But oh well, a kiss is a kiss, right? Maybe after this whole thing's over, we can do more.
(The farm, later)
(We see the other group members, with Vladimir, Winterson, and Woden, still lounging around. Cooter and Mildred have gone to bed. Max, Kaufman, and Vladimir are playing cards, Mike is reading a horse magazine, Annie and Mona are chatting, Lisa is playing with a Ouija board, Winterson is knitting, and Woden is reading a book. Vinnie comes in momentarily, carrying a 12-pack of Coronas)
Vladimir: Vinnie. Welcome back.
Mona: That took a long time, Vinnie. Where'd you go to get those Coronas, Mexico?
Vinnie: No. I, ahh, went to the County Line. Y'know, on the corner.
Winterson: What corner?
Vinnie: Uhh, Palmer and Elm.
Max: Really?
Vinnie: Yeah.
Max: (after a pause, looking a bit smug) Are you sure you didn't go somewhere else, like say, Brooklyn?
Vinnie: What?
Max: And you're also sure that you went out to get beer, and not for something else. Like, ohh, I don't know... A.J.?
Vinnie: Look, Payne, I don't know what you're talkin' about. I just thought I'd do somethin' nice for you guys, so I went out to get some beer for yas.
Winterson: Vinnie, think. There is no liquor store, or any kind of store, called the County Line in this town. There also are no streets named Palmer or Elm.
Max: Not to mention, the time you left here would put you in front of that restaurant around ten, which if I recall is the time that you said A.J. finishes her shift. Plus you have make-up on your collar. And it matches the shade that A.J. was wearing when we met her at the party. (gets up) Let's take a look at that receipt. (picks up the receipt from on top of the case of Coronas and reads it) "Carmine's Liquor Corner, 1128 ½ E. Flatbush Ave., BROOKLYN, NY 11210."
Vinnie: (after a long pause) All right! I went back into the city! There, I said it! Ya happy now?
Woden: Vinnie, what did we tell you about going back there?
Vinnie: I know what you and Vlad said. And quite frankly, it's a risk I had to take. I can't just up and leave A.J., no matter what the circumstances. But don't worry. I didn't tell her where we are, or about you guys. I just said that someone came and got us outta jail, and that I didn't know who it was. Okay?
Vladimir: What if somebody had seen you?
Vinnie: So let 'em see me. I was wearing a disguise. Plus I hid in the bushes in a park.
(a pause from the rest)
Vinnie: Look. I promised A.J. that I would try to find some way to keep in touch with her. Don't worry – I'll be careful. But I can't go back on my word.
Max: And you think that one woman is worth the risk?
Vinnie: This particular woman? Yeah. You should know, Payne.
Max: What?
Vinnie: Ahh, nothing.
Annie: Yo guys. The news is comin' on. Shouldn't we try to see what's up with the Horne situation?
Max: Sure. We need to keep on it like flies on rotting meat. We'll talk about this later, Vinnie.
Vinnie: Yeah, yeah. Whatever.(Max goes and turns on the TV. He changes the channel to the news. Sure enough, the top story is the White House situation.)
Kyra Silver: ... Once again, the government has given in to the group's demands and has provided the group with one billion dollars, all Defense Department files, and safe passage for the group out of Washington, D.C. The group has left the White House with the President for an undisclosed location. All other members of the White House staff have been left behind.
In other news...
(Max turns off the TV. The whole group is dumbfounded.)
Mona: Good god. This is terrible.
Mike: I can't believe the government would cave in like this.
Max: It was either that or leave the most important man in the world to die in the hands of these terrorists.
Vladimir: We have to do something. We can't just let them do this.
Woden: I'll ssstart digging around. We need to find out where Horne isss going.
Vladimir: I'll get the cleaners ready.
Kaufman: I'll help.
MTV Announcer: Uh oh! Where could Horne and the President be? Is the President still safe? And will the gang be able to stop Horne? Find out this and more, on the next episode of "The Real World."
Okay, sorry it took so long. Hope it was worth the wait. As usual, please R&R.