CHAPTER 5:
SWITCH OFF
Their progress to the Hologram Projection Unit was slow and tense. In the jumpy, flickering light from Kryten's torch, it was hard to distinguish anything that might be moving in the shadows... especially since the things in question happened to be completely black and have no real substance. Several times Lister would give out a yell and swivel around, training his gun on something, only to find it was a shadow. His pulse was racing and his heart was pounding heavily.
At times they heard more of the weird sounds, which, upon investigation, could not be explained, such as the series of loud bangs they had heard earlier.
"I'm beginning to feel that your 'graveyard' expression was very apt," Kryten said.
"Whaddya mean?"
"I know what he means," Rimmer said darkly. "He means this ship feels haunted."
Lister stopped, spun around, then remembered not to delay their progress and kept walking. "You think those things... that Miranda called Eaters... are ghosts?"
"Of course he does," Rimmer said before Kryten had a chance to reply. "And that's what I think, too."
"You what?" This time Lister did stop. Miranda almost tumbled into him. "You believe in ghosts?"
"Well if that thing wasn't a ghost, how else do you explain it?"
"Not ghosts, sirs," Kryten interjected. "Poltergeists. These things can kill and devour humans- they seem to be caught in between the worlds of the living and the dead."
"Alright, Kryten. I 'ave seen the Twilight Zone. And I'm sorry, but it sounds like a load of twaddle." He started walking again. "Anyway I don't believe in smegging ghosts."
They passed the crew's quarters. On the way through, Miranda suddenly gripped Lister's arm.
"Can we stop here for a minute? I just want to get something from my room."
"Yeah... alright, but... you know you won't be able to take anything off the ship, don't you?" Lister said warily.
She nodded and smiled, and her eyes glinted in the torchlight. "I'll be quick." And she darted off into the shadows.
Rimmer watched her go and frowned at Lister. "She shouldn't be going off on her own."
Lister shrugged. "She's been here longer than us. She knows her way around." But as the seconds stretched out to minutes, he felt a growing sense of unease uncoiling in the pit of his stomach.
Miranda stepped into the small bunkroom and, navigating by the light of the moon slanting in through a porthole, ducked under the top bunk and felt around under the lower bunk's pillow. She felt something and brought it out. A small, torn and dirty photograph. She kissed it gently, stood up and turned to leave.
Her heart almost stopped.
There was something standing in the doorway.
Lister looked at his watch. Miranda had been gone only a minute and a half, but to Lister it felt like several Ice Ages. He glanced at the anxious faces of the Cat, Kryten and Rimmer in the wavering light.
"She's been gone too long," the Cat said. Sweat stood out on his brow.
"Go and get her," Rimmer said flatly.
Lister looked at him. "Give her another minute."
"No, I want to get off this ship now," Rimmer said forcefully. It should have sounded petulant, but under the circumstances, Lister knew how he felt.
"Alright," he said after a pause. "Kryten, come with me, I'll need the light."
He had barely finished speaking when a terrible shriek split the air. There was no mistaking Miranda's voice. Lister's eyes widened in shock and he hoisted up his guns and began to run towards the sound.
He bolted down the dark corridor, glancing into every room. "Miranda!" he yelled. Kryten stumbled along behind him. Lister thought he heard a noise, and motioned Kryten to stop and be silent.
It came again. A watery gasp, and the sound of movement. Wherever she was, she was close. He ran to the nearest doorway and looked in. "Miranda!" It was empty. He moved to the next one, a long run down the corridor. He skidded to a halt in the doorway and all the air abruptly left his lungs.
The room was very dark, but he could make out two bunks in niches in the wall, a small metal table underneath a porthole, and a bookcase. Standing in the middle of the room, so tall it almost touched the roof, was a huge black figure. It seemed to have no arms or legs, and no neck or head that he could see. It was just a towering wall of black. And it was gliding across the floor towards the bunks.
Lister raised his weapon, aimed at a place he assumed the creature's head should be, and fired. He saw what happened next in slow motion. The shot from the pulse cannon sailed through the air and seemed to slice right through the black shape like a stone would cut through water, but as it did the place where it had passed through seemed to blow apart, as if it was made of some kind of mist, and thick wisps of it swirled around aimlessly for a moment, before thinning out and disappearing completely, and the rest of the thing's body suddenly evaporated into the same wisps of black fog. The pulse shot, meanwhile, sailed into the back wall of the top bunk and gave a thick CRRUNNCH, spraying hot shards of metal across the bunk and filling the room with smoke.
Lister glanced over at Kryten, who was standing beside him, and noticed Rimmer and the Cat jostling behind him, trying to see what was happening. Cautiously he turned back, and entered the room.
"Miranda?"
He heard a whimper, and a sudden scramble of movement brought his eye to her. She had been sitting on the floor in front of the bunk, but now she leapt to her feet and dived into it, curled her hands around her knees and began to cry.
Lister picked his way over the sharp shards of wall lying scattered across the floor, and crouched down beside the bunk. "Miranda, it's me. It's Lister."
She just shook her head, tears streaming down her face, and began to rock herself back and forth.
"It's dead. I killed it." He looked over his shoulder, as if to make absolutely certain of it himself. "See? It's gone."
Miranda squeezed her eyes shut and, to Lister's surprise, started to hum something erratically between sobs. Standing in the doorway, Rimmer leaned forward. It was an old song, something he had heard before but couldn't quite name. He knew it was from a movie.
Lister took a deep breath and tried again. "Miranda. It's Dave. You're safe now. Nothin's gonna hurt you, ok?"
It had no effect. She continued to rock back and forth, humming softly. Lister felt helpless. He cast his eyes around and, by chance, they fell upon a small piece of paper lying on the floor, half-hidden under the bunk. He picked it up. It was a photograph of a young, smiling man with dark hair.
He looked from the photograph to Miranda. There was a slight resemblance between them. "This yours?" he asked gently, and held it out to her. She opened her eyes, stopped humming, and stared at it. Her eyes glistened wetly and she nodded. Lister handed it to her. She took it and quickly tucked it into one of the pockets of her jacket. Then she hugged her knees again, and stared at Lister.
"You gonna be ok now?"
She shrugged, blinked to clear her eyes and said, "I'm sorry. I always used to sing when I got scared. It's my favourite song. It helped make the fear go away." Her green eyes looked out at them mournfully from the shadows.
"That's ok," Lister said. "We don't mind. Do you feel ok now?"
"Not really," she said in a small voice.
Rimmer leaned over Lister's shoulder. "What did you see?" He asked, fear tightening his voice.
She shook her head violently and squinched her eyes shut. "No, I don't want to... don't make me..." she said hysterically, and Rimmer backed off, holding his hands up.
"Er... it's alright. I'm sorry. You don't have to tell us."
She stopped and cradled her knees, breathing hard. At least she had stopped crying.
"It's ok. We're all scared. We just wanna get off this ship and back to Starbug as soon as possible. Are you ready?" Lister asked, and reluctantly she nodded. Lister offered her his hand and she stared at if for a long time, then slowly reached out and took it.
"We're goin' home," he said grimly. "Any more of these bastards try to stop us, they'll end up like their two mates. Dead." He looked at Rimmer. "Ghosts or not- I'll kill 'em again, if they try anything."
They encountered no more of the creatures upon reaching the Hologram Projection Unit, but at certain times they could hear faint thunds and bangs from the floors above or below them. Everyone filed into the large, circular room and Lister shoved the door closed. He looked at Miranda.
"Ok. Ready to do this?"
She looked scared and unsure, but after a pause, nodded in acquiescence.
"Alright Kryt. Take out her disk." Kryten moved over to the Unit and bent over its control panel.
"Wait!" She cried. Kryten paused, and everyone looked at her. "You're planning to run across the city on foot, aren't you?"
"Well, yeah..." Lister said, taken aback.
"There might be a safer way. In the cargo bay, there are some rock-moving vehicles, used for carrying scoopfuls of ore, called Crawlers. They're small, and they're not that fast, but it might be faster than running. You'll need to find the ignition chips, which should be hanging on the wall in the maintenance office." At their inquisitive looks, she added, "My brother used to have to repair them after the mining trips. I sometimes sat with him and watched him work." Her smile faded.
Lister nodded. "Thanks, Miranda."
The Cat looked up too, morosely, and said, "yeah, thanks."
"I should be thanking you."
Lister smiled too, and shook his head. "Forget it."
"No, I mean it. Thank you. If it wasn't for you all... I might be still..." She bit her lip and then looked at Rimmer, who straightened up, surprised. She walked around the Holo Unit and suddenly hugged him. Not knowing what else to do, he gave a her a small, clumsy pat on the back.
Tearfully, she released him and stepped back, wiping her eyes. "Sorry you didn't make officer," she said softly. Rimmer looked away, awkwardly. She bit her lip and turned back to the others. "I guess this is goodbye until I see you again."
"You will," Lister said, as meaningfully as he could.
"Ok I'm ready," she said to Kryten, and he pushed something on the control pad. Then she was suddenly gone. A little disk slid out of a drive in the Projector with an electronic whirr, and Kryten picked it up carefully.
Lister looked solemnly at the place where she had been. "Take good care of that, Krytes."
"I will, sir."
"Let's get outta here," the Cat said grimly. "This planet is seriously screwed up. In fact," he added as they filed out the door, "If it wasn't for us finding the hologram babe, I'd say this trip was a total waste of time!"
"It only took him a day and a half to figure it out," Rimmer said dryly.
"There's just one teensy weensy thing that concerns me," Rimmer said, as they hurried down the staircase to the level that led onto the cargo bay.
"What's that?" Lister asked.
"Well, the fact that we've encountered only two of these 'Eaters' so far and they've very nearly killed two of our number, myself included. What chance have we got if there's dozens of them out there? They won't even have to bother with the old shape-changing routine. If we go out there in that Crawler, it'll be like an all-you-can-eat buffet. Meals on smegging Wheels."
"We've got no choice. We'll just have to be on our guard." He stopped behind Kryten, who was leaning around a corner, scouting out the corridor. Kryten waved them ahead and they started walking again.
"There's something I don't understand," the Cat said, trotting up beside them.
"There's a statement that will never make front page news."
The Cat glanced at Rimmer, decided that wasn't worth a retort, and continued. "Holo-babe said these things could smell our blood, right?"
"Yeah."
"Right. So why did they attack two holograms?"
Lister glanced over his shoulder, a frown creasing his brow. "I dunno."
"My theory is, they can't smell blood, but they can smell something else."
"Like what?"
"Fear?" Rimmer suggested.
Lister shook his head. "That wouldn't explain how Miranda survived in here for months without so much as a scratch."
"Maybe it's something to do with her technology. She's a different type of hologram."
"Maybe. It just doesn't make sense though."
The Cat tapped Lister on the shoulder. "Hey. Does this mean what I think it means?"
"What do you think it means?" Lister said wearily.
"That I said something that actually made sense!"
Lister thought about it, smiled, and nodded. "Yeah. You did."
"Hey!" The Cat cried, delightedly. "That's gotta be a first."
"Keep your voice down," Rimmer hissed, and they hurried to catch up with Kryten.
Upon entering the lower levels of the ship, it became clear that it was mid-morning outside. Daylight had permeated the dark corridors, revealing more detail in the dingy, early light than had been apparent the night before. The corrdidors here were the same dull gunmetal grey, but debris and evidence of the crash were strewn all around. In some places the floor buckled upwards, creating dangerous sharp-tipped fangs of metal which the crew had to carefully navigate around. It was amazing that no-one had tripped over one of these things last night and impaled themselves.
Beyond the walls they could hear the constant, low sigh of the wind, reminding them that the journey was only halfway over, they still had to go out there, into the unknown, and try to reach Starbug and Holly.
Finally they arrived at the cavernous, crate-filled cargo bay. Here the light was brightest, and Kryten was able to switch off his torch. They made their way past a small office and towards the back of the 'bay. Here, lined up along the wall were three small, two-seater vehicles with large scoops fixed to the front. They had glass windows and a rudimentary flat metal roof, but no doors on either side. The Dwarfers stepped up to them and looked them over.
"They don't look very fast," Rimmer said doubtfully.
"That's probably why they called them 'Crawlers'," the Cat added, unhelpfully.
"Better than nothin'," Lister said, and walked off towards the maintenance office. "I'll get the ignition chips."
Rimmer stood and surveyed the vehicles, shaking his head. "I don't like this. I really don't have a good feeling about this."
"Sir, I'm afraid we don't have any other options," Kryten said diplomatically.
"Damn it Kryten, I've seen one of these things up close. It nearly bit my smegging head off! I know what they're capable of. There has to be another way!"
Lister walked past him and threw a small metal object to Kryten, which glinted as it caught the light. "There is no other way," he said firmly. "Let'stop smeggin' arguing and get on with it." He climbed into the driver's seat of one of the vehicles, and the Cat slid in beside him. They all looked at Rimmer.
Rimmer's face tried to contort itself into a number of different unpleasant expressions. Finally it settled on plain old unadulterated fear. "I'm holding you accountable for everything that happens," he said, pointing at Lister, who grinned.
"Shut up and get in, Rimmer."
Rimmer went to the second Crawler and slipped in beside Kryten, who was behind the wheel.
"Gentlemen, start your engines!" Lister said, with a little too much enthusiasm.
The Crawler's engines chugged into life and then settled into a low hum, which was very loud in the hollow, echoey room.
"Krytes, you better take the lead... you can navigate better. I'll follow. Cat, Rimmer, be on you guard, shoot anything that moves!"
Kryten's Crawler drifted slowly across the floor of the cargo bay, heading towards the open door, through which sand and grit whirled, and the wind screamed. It seemed like there was a sandstorm going on outside. Lister's Crawler followed Kryten towards the door.