It was kind of funny to wake up with the dawn, considering he just recovered from lack of sleep in the forest and Inuyasha's memories haunted him all night. He went to bed after dinner and seeing Kalie off, but his mind was too clouded. He stared at the wall for a long time, feeling angry, depressed, frustrated, and definite self-pity. Inuyasha bitched him out for the pity act, but that only got the hanyou shoved into a dark corner for ignorance.
He didn't want to get up this early and made an effort to fall asleep, but it was useless. Inuyasha's sleep habits somehow rubbed off. He sat up with a sigh and put out look on his face.
Brown looked to the sleeping form across the way and longing speared him. He wasn't able to say a word to anyone – even Jayden. He didn't know how they'd react and what they'd do; that unknown and fear was a powerful thing. The elders would be the best to go to because they took to more tradition and Buddhism than Jayden or his parents.
It was a hard thing to decide. He didn't know how to approach the subject and give a good explanation without them thinking it was stress from hisobosan or he was half-awake. He threw the covers aside. 'What to do...' He stopped in the bathroom and splashed water on his face, finding his hanyou form in Sengoku clothes upon looking up. Again. 'Nani?'
Gold rolled and he felt mild annoyance. Does it take you this long to decide EVERYTHING?
He was too sluggish right now to be angry and bypassed the vision to dry his face. 'We're talking about the rest of my LIFE here. Not something I want to do without serious thought.'
I gave you plenty of time for that!
'Beg to differ.' He grumbled, flicking the light off. He suddenly stopped and stared at the wall. Why was he going about his routines and life as if part of his past self was an everyday occurrence?? He was acting like Inuyasha was a houseguest who wouldn't leave or some kind of fly to ignore. With a small growl, annoyed for taking everything so lightly, he stalked to the kitchen for some tea.
You're such a whiner. This is not that big a deal.
Canister slammed on counter and he grimaced at the outburst. Brown peeked to the bedrooms, but not even okaasan was up. He glowered and made for an infuser. 'You can't tell me that because not only are you on the opposite side of the fence, but you've never had such ties to a world! I've seen your memories same as you've seen mind...have a little respect for such an earth-shattering change in my life.'
...You are SO blowing this out of proportion.
Nails dug into skin and his other hand grabbed wrist to keep from hitting it on the counter. 'I'd essentially be two people with separate personalities!! Don't fucking tell me I'm blowing this out of proportion when you told me you don't need my family! How am I to know you don't say screw them and ignore them for Kal – Kago – for HER!'
You heard the shikon...we compliment each other. I'll fill in what you lack and visa versa.
He gave the water heater a dry look as it filled. 'Somehow I HIGHLY doubt we compliment each other.'
A growl sounded and frustration almost took him aback. Look! If you go through every like, dislike, hobby, and every fucking MOVEMENT, you'll see me! Look past our face, shape of body, and hair – which you'll see is the fucking same – and if you can't find anything I'll root through your memories and TELL you!
He forced himself not to shrink back at the lecture and plugged in the appliance to heat. Arms crossed as he stared at the general vicinity of the shikon. 'How far back am I supposed to look and are you going to hound me the whole time?'
As much as you can and not as long as you don't procrastinate.
He smirked despite anger, feeling a little spiteful. 'Where'd a hanyou like you learn a big word like that?'
Fuck you!! Stop being such a god damned prick and –
He cut the voice off by conveniently shoving it to the corner of his mind and poured his tea. He yanked plug from wall, slipped into a pair of zouri, and headed to the back engawa. The chill of winter made him shiver, but was nicely offset by the steaming mug. Dusk was rapidly getting chased away and he leaned over the rail. He didn't have many memories of sunrises...usually he slept right through till daylight shone in his face.
How long was he supposed to go through and search? All the way to his toddler days? Not much recognition there, but what he had he didn't particularly like. He was too timid a child, feeling very much like he was an outcast.
Darkness arrived, but with the many lanterns dotting the area, one wouldn't know the sky disappeared. It was pretty, casting shadows among faces and along the engawa. He looked around in innocent fascination, a smile tilting his lips, feeling content to watch people move around and the light change their form.
Curiosity peaked when a sense of mute excitement filled the air and a small handful gathered together. Some stopped their conversations and watched the group as a ball was produced.
There was no great mystery involved in what the group was doing; they were simply playing catch with it. But it seemed so fun and without thinking he headed from his solitary spot at the edge of the small garden to play.
He knew not asking to join was very rude, but the thought of being apart of the little group and of the excitement was too enticing and he forgot a lot of his manners. The place practically stopped and enthusiasm turned to polite distaste as he stopped in front of the man who had the ball and extended his hands to hold it.
A few laughed behind the sleeves of their robes. He ignored them and looked way up into the man's eyes, unable to grab the ball with such short stature. The man didn't say anything, but the look was proof enough that the disruption was frowned on.
The ball tossed a few times to each hand before the man gave it a wayward throw into a section of the garden. He mentally wondered why the man threw it from the circle and ran after to catch it. He followed it over a bridge and was thankful it didn't drop in the stream, as he didn't want to get clothes wet. He snatched the object from its rolling walk and, feeling proud of himself, turned to hold it up to the group.
Only then did he notice they all turned in silent ignorance and were already walking off to a different area.
He was too confused at why they wanted to stop such entertainment and didn't follow to give the ball back in case someone would want it later. His ears perked up at the words they muttered to one another, brow furrowing at one that didn't quite make his building vocabulary.
The wind shifted and a heavenly smell of expensive perfume caught his nose and he whipped to it. He dropped the ball and ran to her; arms extended for a hug and lightly clutched the folds of her robes. "Hahaue! Hanyou wa nani?"
-----
"Okaasan...I don't want to go to school today..."
"But Inaki, there's nothing horrible about it. I'll bring you there and make sure you get situated. Don't worry; I'll be waiting for you when you get out."
Youthful brown looked up, ignoring the mothering hand running through his hair. A hand gripped her shirt from his place in her arms. "But...okaasan...I don't like it there." Sadness surrounded him and he snuggled to find comfort to battle it. "I feel...icky."
A brow rose and a hand moved to get his attention. He looked into wise eyes tinged with concern. "Icky? How so? Doing what?"
Tiny lips pouted as index fingers touched in a fidget. "Ano...well, the others...I don't like how they look at me."
"Do they make fun of you? You should tell us these things musuko."
"Ah well, not really...I just feel icky being near them."
"Can you put it another way so okaasan understands better? Maybe I can help you figure out why."
His nose scrunched up in thought as he looked to the fingers still toying with each other. He searched his little mind to find other things he heard announced and what he put with what he felt at the time. He didn't know enough words to get across what he wanted, but he'd try.
"Bad...dirty icky...outside." He looked up for any indication those were understood. "I feel dirty icky. I don't know if anyone will play with me at recess and I'm scared to go ask. I don't want them to hate me. I feel outside everyone."
Arms tugged him closer and his face rested over his mother's chest, smiling at the sound of her heartbeat. Chubby arms went around her neck as he settled in to enjoy the embrace, feeling worry in how tight she was holding him.
At length the pair sat and he shifted to face her, angling to look at her while unrelenting his hold.
"Musuko...you're a beautiful little boy and you're just as normal as everyone else. You have no reason to fear that they won't like you. Maybe they think you don't like them because you never play with them."
"But - but that's not true! I want to play with them but I just get the feeling they won't want me."
A hand went through his hair again and a gentle smile accompanied it. "Then Inaki, why don't you go ask a group today? If anything, it'll answer the questions and you'll be sure of how you feel. I think you're just unsure because they're new people you don't know well. Hai?"
"Mm."
"Okay then. Now hurry and get dressed before you miss class."
He snorted and stared at the sky, seeing the first rays of light. After his mother's reassurance and a quick ask, not only did he feel normal from that point on, but it was also the first meeting of the musketeers. Inuyasha's memory as a child influenced him all the way back then and he didn't even know. He thought it was him all along.
Brown glowered. 'Another aspect that's his fault. If I wasn't feeling like him when I was a kid - shit, maybe when I was born - I would've never had any of those isolation thoughts.'
That aggravated him to no end, but it was one of the many things Inuyasha influenced. If those things were supposed to 'compliment' him, he would rather take his chances with himself and half of who he was intended to be!
An unknown influence to find 'the one' turning out to be Kagome's reincarnation, uncertainty of people coming from distaste toward a different bloodline, and now the butt crack of dawn was strike three. He would keep a tally of more as he went through memories and had Inuyasha's pop up of the things he didn't want.
Only an idiot would find the good points in this situation.
He sipped almost tea lukewarm by now and paid more attention to the sky. He might as well while out here and up at such an hour. He would make sure it didn't happen again. A growing boy needed his sleep and he needed all he could to recharge his batteries against a mental battle such as this. He could deal with Inuyasha's memories during slumber if he got more of it.
He stayed rooted until the glass door slid open. The majesty passed from pinks and blues to almost every color of the rainbow and he was a little sad to be taken away, but cast it aside at seeing okaasan in the doorway. He smiled and nodded a greeting before gulping down the last of his tea.
Kristine nodded back, brow furrowing. "Musuko, what're you doing up so early? You normally sleep until woken for breakfast. Are you feeling okay?"
He stepped forward as she made to put on zouri and stopped in front of her to save her the trouble. "Aren't I allowed to wake this time of morning?" He asked, a teasing look in his eyes.
Kristine smiled and moved to allow him in. "I was just surprised. I thought, well..." A hand moved to cover a widening smile. "That we had a prowler taking a time to rest before breaking in."
He grinned and moved to the sink, gently setting cylindrical porcelain on porcelain. He leaned against the counter and watched as she shut the patio before going for the cupboards. She pulled out ingredients for breakfast and had he an inkling to help. He never got to help make breakfast that often because he was dead to the world. He helped okaasan out with other things, but this sounded like something special.
It was quiet, the sun was just peeking in through glass, and there was a sense of beauty in the way his mother looked with the stove light shining on her. He pushed away from the counter, unable to think of anything better he'd rather do. "Let me help okaasan. What're we making?"
Kristine blinked, but a soft look appeared. "I think some rice, miso soup, and a few nikumanjuu are enough for everyone."
Sounded extremely good and he moved to the bag hidden in a cupboard to start washing rice. He grabbed a few cups and set the strainer in a bowl to fill with water. It was repetitive, but it was nice and he concentrated on doing a good job instead of thinking. He rinsed the rice half a dozen times, hoping that was enough, before dumping everything in a cooker and filling that with water. He let that go before grabbing another large amount to wash.
He was content to let Inuyasha stew wherever he was for now and enjoy this feeling of normality. He had an idea it wouldn't happen once any kind of a decision was reached. How long that would take he had no clue, so he took this chance greedily.
Work seemed so mundane compared to the thoughts in his head. He couldn't believe how nostalgic it was to sweep the back room until going for the broom. He actually stared at it as if not knowing what to do before shaking his head at it all and starting in.
There was ONE benefit to having Inuyasha awake - he could now read the kanji and hiragana on store products when he made to clean and stack shelves. That was one thing he was having trouble on and only did as a hobby. The family only used written Japanese on things in the store and used the west alphabet every other time. He knew Jayden didn't know any and neither did okaasan, so it was unfair to leave them out. He begrudgingly gave that point. It was one of the things he actually wanted and Inuyasha already had that skill.
He also noticed something else when doing all the cleaning and moving around in the back. His stamina was pretty good for some of these things when before he couldn't lift as much or go for so long. But that was a given from someone who worked with a sword and got so much exercise. Even when human, there was still an inner strength to make up for the lack of hanyou power.
If he wanted to get really picky with details, he could give thanks for the face and body. The natural want to work out must have come from so much fighting from Inuyasha, and this face attracted more girls than he could count on fingers and toes many times over. He smirked and tried not to laugh. If Inuyasha was brought up properly, or as human, he would've definitely had some of the girls in his time fawning after him.
He put in a few hours while noticing little things. Aside the strength, physical features, and comprehension, he noticed the relationship with his mother was quite similar as Inuyasha's as far as depth went. Not that he wouldn't have loved okaasan regardless, but he felt like she was so very important to him at times.
This was getting him nowhere. He was reaching in spots, and almost desperately at that to acquiesce to Inuyasha's wish of finding something. To only come up with a handful of topics wasn't enough to make him agree to do this. He needed something a little more momentous than good looks and endurance. 'Yo, you there?'
Fucking prick! Why do you keep doing that to me?!
He grinned and stared at kanji of the shelf he was stocking. 'Because you were being annoying and I couldn't think. But I still can't find anything majorly worthwhile. You said you could go through if I couldn't. So mister wizard, tell me what I'm missing.'
There was silence for a bit, but he had a feeling it wasn't wasted. He stood to go throw cardboard boxes in the bin out back and let Inuyasha snoop. He could feel dredges of his memories being pulled from deep crevices where he stored or forgot them. It had a sensation to it, but he would never be able to name it to save his life.
He gave the boxes a careless toss and turned to go inside when the world suddenly disappeared. In its place was a playground with kids waist height running around. He stood in shock and dumbly blinked, easily picking out himself with unbound hair and a few kids loitering around.
"Come on Inaki - just take it!"
"Yea! You want to look like a girl the rest of your life??"
"But...okaasan says there's nothing wrong with it."
"What does she know? She's a girl. Have you asked your dad or grandpa about what it looks like?"
"Ojiisan has longer than mine. Otousan keeps his in a ponytail."
"Bunch of sissies! Boys aren't supposed to have long hair! Now take these and cut it!"
The younger Inaki backed away from the older, taunting boys until coming against the high, chain-link fence surrounding the playground. "I - iyada! Leave me alone!"
He stared with solemn eyes. No one liked his hair as a kid. Even if the place was Japanese populated, kids were cruel and thought on a totally different level than the previous generation. Only when he reached junior high did they leave him alone. This was before he met the guys and they helped him stick up for himself.
Here he only had himself.
A teacher finally saw what was going on and rushed over as one tried to grab his arm and hold him still while the other moved in for the kill.
He was too embarrassed to look anymore and when he turned away, the back alley greeted him. He blinked again and shook himself from emotions evoked by that less-than-pleasant remembrance.
If you had my confidence when you were that age, you could've defended yourself from them.
He startled a little before heading back inside. 'I had no need in beating them up.'
Keh. Didn't mean it like that. You could've at least asserted yourself better.
'May be, but now I'm pretty assertive so that doesn't do you any good.'
We'll see.
Brown narrowed at the almost patronizing tone, irritation boiling. He grabbed a broom to go sweep the front with, seeing nothing else to do, and gripped it harder than intended. 'If you're going to make a point, make it in this DECADE at least. I am no longer that shy, pushover of a kid. You'll have to find something with actual bearing.'
Inuyasha was silent, and there was that feeling of rooting through his head again.
Just as he made to push the door open, the place disappeared again.
"Come on Cam...didn't I tell you a while ago to have FAITH in me??"
"You've told me that from practically the BEGINNING Yamoi Inaki...but it's HARD to have faith in your boyfriend when you find he's in a city forty miles out of his way to visit a GIRL! How many times have you done this??"
"I just visited her this once! It was her BIRTHDAY! Are you going to tell me that I shouldn't do that for a friend?? She was happy I stopped by!"
"How come you've never TALKED about her?? Huh?? Do you trust me so little that you wouldn't tell about one of your other friends?? Even female?"
"Kalie is just an aspect of my life I kept from everyone because it was my own little thing, you know? I don't need to tell you and the guys EVERYTHING. It's not about trust...there's just some things I don't feel like sharing all the time. I'm sure you have a few things YOU keep from ME..."
"So...then what you're saying is...you don't want to talk to me about her. How many other little aspects of your life do you 'not feel like sharing' with me? Or worse...how many other female friends do you have that you're writing to?"
Gods, why didn't you just set the bitch straight and tell her to get her act together and stop worrying??
The pain from Cameron loosened in pieces and he gulped air to steady himself. He blinked as the fight faded and the door came back.
Or better yet, why didn't you just dump her when you had the chance? She was nothing to hold onto.
Nails dug into his palm and he stared at the handle, watching his hand shake in anger and resisting the urge to throw the broom. 'Was there any damn reason for showing me that??'
Yea...so much for assertive huh? If you were so worried about what that bitch thought...I would've told her exactly what the truth was instead of playing nice.
'Cameron was...delicate. You've never seen clingy girls before have you?'
Please, they were everywhere in my time, they just hid it more.
He headed out to the front and started sweeping to clear his head and shove that scene in the depths where it belonged. 'Do you have anything else that has actual relevance? That last memory wasn't very sturdy - the only reason I didn't say anything was because of hurt feelings. I'm sure you held back what you wanted to say to Kagome on more than one occasion.'
Yea right! When I wanted something said, it was said and that was that.
He gave the bristles a dry glance. 'Yea I bet. That's why you two didn't get along so well half the time isn't it?'
Hey now! That was...well, it was...
'I make my point. You know you're not offering anything that's helpful here. Since you had two strikes so far, you're not going to get much more before I say you're done for today and revel in the little feeling of regularity while I can. So I'll list off some things I've got going and if you can find ANYTHING in there, go at it.'
You're on.
'First off, I can cook and I'm good at it. I'm intelligent and took some college classes, even if I didn't feel like it was for me. I'm independent enough to make my own choices in life. I'm pretty polite to my family, friends, and the neighbors. I have a good reign on my temper and definitely don't show it as often as you do.'
Keh!
He resisted a smile at the pride he evoked with that jab. 'I have a pretty good work ethic when it comes to this place and I'm loyal to it. I have a good relationship with my family and I'm loyal to them. I have friends and I'm not shy at making more or meeting new people in general. I have a good sense of humor - something you certainly lack.'
Uresai!
He snorted and leaned over to get under a low shelf. 'I have a better grasp on my emotions and I have no problem expressing them. Now, after hearing those things - even off the top of my head - tell me if there's any way that you'd actually improve on them, or add anything I missed.'
There was no answer for a long time and he nearly finished the store by the time he got one. He could tell Inuyasha was in deep thought and left him alone. This was a crucial time between them and they had to actually get along before any kind of compromise could be made. He wasn't going to think that far ahead until things got ironed out here.
You missed one very important thing.
A brow rose as he butted in the front door to keep it open and swept the small pile outside. 'Like what?'
When was the last time you were away from your family for a long time? Have you even spent any time by yourself?
He stopped and stared at the street, feeling a cool breeze through his hair. He seriously tried to think of any time to make Inuyasha wrong. 'How long is a long time? We talking months or years?'
Months to years.
He resumed thinking, but finished sweeping from Jayden ordering the door shut to keep cold out. He searched as far back as he knew, in every circumstance possible. He was never gone more than a few days at a time, and every time he returned he always went straight home.
He always had a good, deep relationship with everyone in his family. He really couldn't think of himself as moving away or very far from them - ever. They were so important it was hard to picture...thus he ended coming up with nothing.
He was a little stunned and let his body move on automation as he paid more attention to inside his head. 'That - that can't be! I haven't always been that eager to stay home...have I??' He stopped on the other side of the storage door and slouched against it, the harsh truth coming to him. 'I can't believe it... It can't be true! But...I know if I asked any of them, they'd prove me correct.' A hand went over his face as he made for the floor. It seemed like he lost the battle at finding one thing Inuyasha had on him, even if he didn't know the reason. 'So what's your point?'
Point is...I've ALWAYS lived on my own. Where I go, who I live with, how long I live there doesn't matter.
'That's just one thing we're opposite on. You said so yourself I got the better life. Me being so close with my family is just one of the many things we're totally different on.'
That has nothing to do with it. I wasn't always by myself you know. Even with Kagome, Miroku, Sango, Kirara, and Shippou, I often left them alone. I didn't stick to them like you do your family. I can give you the strength to be able to deal with living by yourself or even away from them.
'Who says I want to though?'
Are you going to be a whelp sucking at your mother's teat your whole life?? Be a man and find a place of your own! That's not even your house; it belongs to your hisobojijii, jijii, and oyaji. By the time you get it, you'll be a decrepit old man! But who's to say that onna won't get it before you because you're the second born? Even if you are the only son, your time doesn't care about that shit.
True...if Jayden wanted the house when she and Chad married, she could possibly own it. The women took charge of a lot of the place, while ojiisan and otousan mostly kept it running smoothly. He could live there and know she wouldn't turn him away, but he DID want to get married in the future. Did he want to live under the same roof as Jayden and her family? He thought about it, finding it a little unsettling - he wanted a place to raise his family without everyone else doing so for him.
'So you made one point. But one isn't good enough to make me change my mind. Anything else?'
One thing I noticed is whenever you have a problem, you always run to someone else to help solve it. Don't you ever figure anything out by yourself?? Are you that brainless?
'It's called ADVICE.' He grit, glaring at the floor. 'I go to my family for that because I trust them and their opinion, also because those older than me may already have experience in dealing with things.'
Don't you ever just figure it out for yourself? Shit, even with me you want to run to your family to figure out what you should do. Why can't you do this on your own? Are you that dependant on their opinion? They're not the ones who have to deal with me, you do.
He didn't like anyone talking bad about his family, but there was another small point Inuyasha had. He often told his family the problems in his life, knowing they'd help. Even with this, he was burning to say something - as he never really kept secrets from them. The fact that he hadn't spoken a word of explanation for any behavior since Inuyasha awoke was startling and a little amazing to comprehend.
'Even though I tell them a lot of things, that isn't always bad. It's just one of the things I was raised to accept, whereas you hid everything from everyone because you felt it'd be a danger to you. So how is that going to help me? I see no harm in talking to my family.'
I didn't hide everything from everyone. I told Kagome some of my past, but it wasn't necessary to say everything. Had she asked at a time when the quest wasn't going on, I would've obliged her. I knew I could trust her not to betray me and that made the difference. You don't seem to know that. Have you ever kept anything to yourself besides this?
He thought to everything since childhood...every problem, every conversation. He winced as it proved how much he spoke. But, there was another thing he was opposite Inuyasha on. Someone who barely had a decent conversation with someone against someone who really didn't know how to be spiteful and ignore others.
But could that be a handicap instead of a good thing? True he never held things from his family and figured they had a right to know, but when did one draw the line? Maybe there were some things they didn't care to hear that much and were only patronizing him. That might seem a tad extreme, but how did he know what they thought?
Now you're getting the idea.
'Go away and let me think.' He grumbled. Right now he was feeling less than happy at thinking he was bothering his family with topics they didn't want to listen to. He didn't like being a burden to those that raised him. 'Could what she said be true?'
:Regardless of the condition of your life compared to Inuyasha's, you are still two halves of one whole. His personality would mold and blend with yours. Right now you are almost his exact opposite, so what he lacks, you would make up for. There are small pieces which are unseen in your mind that will be filled in. You may not think they exist, but they are there because Inuyasha is.:
A hand covered his chin in a thoughtful gesture as brown locked on concrete. "Hontou ka?"
He had to know what was true. He needed to be sure of this before he went and assumed too much and got emotions needlessly tangled up.
He stood and opened the door, nearly running right into Jayden with an armload of dirty rags.
The pair screeched in surprise. Jayden's hands spasmed and everything started to fall. He bent to grab the same time she did and the two ended up bumping heads. Multiple cries of pain sounded as the pair clutched their heads and left the dirty cloth on the ground.
Nice going baka.
There was a definite thread of amusement and he ignored it for the headache starting to form.
"You okay ototo?" Jayden grit out, eyes squeezed shut.
"A - aa." He mumbled, kneeling to collect everything. He considered himself damn lucky to get up as he did, less Jayden open the door and find him like that on the floor. "How's your head?"
"I'll go make use of some of the aspirin in the office now." She joked, moving to help. "Next time don't surprise me like that!"
"Gomen. I was actually just heading to ask you a question."
Jayden looked up in confusion, but all she saw was raven covering brown. Her brows furrowed, hands stopping their collecting. "Ototo?"
He couldn't look at her and ask, so kept his sight pinned on the mess. "Can you think back and give me a serious answer on...on whether or not I've ever said something you didn't really want to hear?"
Jayden blinked, absently shifting for more comfort as she thought. The subdued tone of voice set off intuition that something was wrong. "Are you feeling okay ototo?"
"Kotaerimasho kudasai..."
Lips pressed together as Jayden nodded, even if his eyes hadn't drifted up. She didn't have time for this with customers in the store, but it seemed serious so she tried to be quick. She had a feeling he was hoping for a no, but one thing did come to mind. "Ano...there was one time I remember in high school when you were talking about this girl you were flirting with once. I don't remember her name, but I do know I wanted to roll my eyes at you for it."
His jaw clenched, eyes slowly closing. It was even worse to know the one person he liked confiding to, the one person he thought he could tell everything to, didn't want to hear everything. He was hoping his fears were overblown. He could've dealt with that and been relieved to know it was not as he thought.
"Did that answer your question? Was there a reason you wanted to know?"
He jerked to attention and plastered a small, fake smile on. He swiped the rest of the rags and took the remaining from Jayden. "That's fine...that was what I wanted to know, thank you." He stood and turned for the door when a tug on his shirt stopped him.
"Your question worries me ototo. Why did you ask it?"
His head bowed a little, feeling sadness creep up. "I just got to thinking of a few things... I'm twenty-four and still living at my parent's home with no thought of a future job." He turned and looked into brown. "I still share the same room I did with you when I was a baby."
Jayden's head tilted. "I'm still not seeing why that's a problem. It's cheaper for you to live at home, you just don't know what you want to do with your life - which is fine, and I'M twenty-seven. Hell Chad and I haven't even set a wedding date yet, so don't insinuate that your life is crappy."
Jayden smiled to show she was joking, but her words stung. "True, but I just feel like I'm getting to the point where I'm not much help or doing any good with my current lifestyle." He turned away before the brunt of emotions could touch his sister and stared out the dock door. "I wonder if the others think that way of something I've said. Does okaasan not like some of the decisions in my life? Does otousan?"
Concern flared at his listless tone and Jayden quickly yanked on the back of his shirt, hoping to get attention and jog the funk he was in. "Listen here ototo! I may not always like what you have to say, but that doesn't mean I won't support you in what you do! This family sticks by each other through anything and if we can't come to each other with our problems then we're not allowed to call each other family!"
He quickly steadied himself before Jayden let go and lightly tugged on his mane. Lips tilted at her behavior, mentally grateful for her words, and nodded. "Aa...tadashii desu... Arigatou."
Jayden gave a firm nod, seeing desolation in his eyes lift a notch. "I originally came to give you these to dispose of and now that I did that I must head to the counter before okaasan wonders what turn I took to get back here."
He grinned and let her go, leaving the door open and heading for the trash out back. He stared at the bin after a half-hearted toss, pondering that conversation.
'Leave it to nee-chan to make me feel both worse and better.' He snorted in amusement and turned inward. 'So how much am I doing that I'm not seeing the line on? I do feel now like I am a burden to my family with my troubles, especially when they have their own, but you're looking at me from your perspective...my opposite. How else does the shikon think you'll do me good?'
If you want examples, it'll take me some time to go through ALL your memories. If basics are all you're talking about I can figure a few things out now. But can you work and listen at the same time?
He smirked and headed back inside. 'I've been dealing with you and living my life for the past few weeks. This'll be like working while listening to music.'
Just don't make me say I told you so if you end up talking to me out loud.
'To coin you, keh.'
I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.
Translations: Hanyou wa nani-What's a hanyou Iyada-I don't want to Hontou ka-Is it true? Kotaerimasho kudasai-Answer (me) please (Basically ordering nicely)