AUTHOR'S NOTE: First of all, thank you for all the kind comments, especially for "Cleanin' Out My Conscience", which has pleased and surprised me with its popularity. That said, I would like to say that while I write some song parodies out of respect for the original songs, many are my revenge at the artists for my hearing their songs blaring on the radio constantly. This song definitely falls into the latter category. Avril Levigne, you may be a fellow Canadian, but as far as I'm concerned, you make Eminem look like a virtuoso. And that's saying something. For best results, sing this song while wearing your grandfather's necktie and spray-painting pentagrams on public property.
Racer Boy
Premise: Anakin and Padmé's romance encapsulated. Also sums up the attitude of most audience members (but not all) to Episode II's overwhelming romance. I mean, I knew that they were going to get married, but wrestling and giggling in the flower fields? What were you thinking, George?!
To: Avril Levigne's "Skater Boy" (which I refuse to misspell)
He was a boy
She was a girl
Could they be any more obnoxious?
He was a slave
She was a queen
They met on Tatooine
He wanted her
His life was hell
He asked her if she was an angel
But all of her friends
Needed to leave
So he ran the podrace on Boonta Eve
He was a racer boy
Not yet a skirt-chaser boy
He wasn't old enough for her
She had a pretty face
But her ship was stuck in space
He got her crew out of the dirt
10 years from now
In Attack of the Clones
Cordé blew up, now she's all alone
A Jedi comes over
Though he's gotten tall
Racer boy's hardly matured at all
He's a bit of a jerk
He doesn't like sand
And I think that
He's going to lose his hand
She tagged along
With a dignified frown
And she still keeps on turning him down
He was a racer boy
A real hotshot spacer boy
He wasn't nice enough for her
Now he's a Padawan
Sneering at Obi-Wan
But he was a whiner since his birth
He was a racer boy
A real hotshot spacer boy
He wasn't nice enough for her
Now he's a Padawan
Sneering at Obi-Wan
But he was a whiner since his birth
It's at this point that I passed out
Lucas, stop the romance now
They got married, made amends
This is how the movie ends
Poor Padmé, I guarantee
She'll be pregnant by part III
And will she really understand
When Ani's more machine than man
He's still a boy
And she's still a girl
But Padmé finally stopped boring us
She confessed her love
(I nearly hurled)
On a rocky desert world
He's still a racer boy
I saw you embrace her, boy
Episode II was laid to waste
He really made the scene
With the former Naboo queen
A girl who used to have some taste
She married the racer boy
The future Darth Vader boy
I can't wait for Episode III
I'll be at the theater
Laughing out loud at her
When her husband is circuitry…