Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, or any of its characters. Legolas: HmmI wouldn't have done that, if I were you. Me: Done what? Legolas: Pick on Glorfindel. Me: Why not? Legolas: She who picks on the Golden One is likely to have her head split open like an overripe melon. Me: I am not afraid of Fin. Legolas: When he finds out what you did, he's going to go all Gallagher on your butt. Me: Hey, you're the muse, here. You get to take half the blame Glorfindel: When who finds out what who did? Legolas and Me: Nothingnothing.

A/N: Thanks again to everyone who read and reviewed!

Chapter 6

Joust in Case

Elladan was once again dressed in his complete suit of armor, including the visor that mysteriously kept snapping shut every time he raised it.

"I know I told the smithy to fix this visorit's going to drive me nuts during the joust!" he complained to his twin, who was sprawled over the easy chair in a corner of the dressing room.

"Good help is hard to find, brother. Besides, you should probably keep it down during the joust anyway. No sense in losing an eye."

"Like any of the walking hormones you pick for the joust could actually aim!" Elladan laughed. "I like to keep it up so the ladies can see my pretty face."

"They will be too busy looking at my pretty face," Elrohir replied, laughing along with his twin. Mirror images of each other, the joke was nearly as old as they were. "And I wouldn't be so cocky, 'Danlast month that tall, skinny kid nearly knocked you off of your horse."

"He didn't even come close! He just rocked me a bit. You are too fond of exaggeration, 'Ro."

"I thought I was going to have to peel you up from the pavement, 'Dan. He was pretty sharp with the lance."

"No way! I thoroughly trounced him."

"Nobody uses the word 'trounced' anymore, 'Dan."

"Pummeled?"

"No."

"Thrashed!"

"No!"

"What do you suggest, then?"

"How about 'beat the shit out of?"

"You have such a way with words, 'Ro."

"Thank you."

Elladan rolled his eyes at his brother, as the visor of his helmet once again slammed shut. Elrohir snorted, enjoying his brother's discomfort immensely - it was worth paying the smithy overtime to 'fix' 'Dan's helmet.

Elrohir glanced at his watch - it was later than he had thought. Jumping from the chair to get himself changed, he quickly stripped, then donned the robes of the Advisor to the King, which he would be portraying during the joust.

"See you in a few, bro," he said to Elladan, who was still struggling to keep the visor up on his helmet, cursing in both English and Elvish. Elrohir laughed softly, swiftly leaving the dressing room, heading for the arena where the joust would take place.

A large crowd had gathered at the arena - it was standing room only. The joust was one of the most popular events of the Faire, attended by young and old alike. Every Elf had a part to play in the joust, from Elrohir the Advisor and Elladan the Knight, to Glorfindel, the Wizard, Haldir, the Cleric, and Legolas, the Page. Elrohir always chuckled at the thought of Legolas as the Page. Considering Legolas' royal lineage, it was pretty ironic.

This was going to be a great joust. Elrohir had had enough of his brother's bellyaching about being the Knight, and had a bit of surprise up his sleeve for his twin.

The young man chosen for the event today was actually a Medieval Studies major, who worked part time in a themed restaurant as a Knight, and jousted on daily basis. Elladan was going to get his Elven ass handed to him on a platter.

Dressed in black armor, the young man looked at home on his horse, carrying his lance loosely balanced across the saddle in front of him. Stopping next to the Black Knight, Elrohir whispered a few words of final instructions. The Black Knight nodded his understanding, and Legolas, as the Page, took hold of the reins to lead the horse into the arena. His Elven ears had, of course, overheard Elrohir's whispered instructions to the Black Knight, and he could barely suppress a grin from spreading across his face. He wished, more than anything, that he had a camera with him, because this was going to be good.

Elrohir jogged up the stairs to the 'Royal Box' that was situated halfway down the field, in the right hand side bleachers. Waving to the crowd, he took his seat next to King Bob, and his lovely 'daughter' Princess Something-or-other. 'Ro could never keep the girls' names straight. This one was pretty, in an angular sort of way. He had slept with her of course - he had slept with virtually every woman in his employ, except for Mildred the cook. Mildred outweighed him by at least seventy-five pounds, and was as ornery as a warg. She was one of the few women Elrohir actually respected, mostly because he felt certain that she could squash him like a bug if she chose.

Princess Something-or-other turned and shot him a look that would have blistered paint. Swallowing hard, 'Ro suddenly remembered her nameSusan. Losin' Susan. Elladan had had quite a lot of fun at Elrohir's expense because of that one. 'Ro had made the mistake of seducing Susan, who evidently, had an obsessive/compulsive personality, because she had shadowed him for a full two weeks afterward. Even going so far as to follow him into the men's room, and lurk outside his trailer's bedroom window at night, she had been harder to get rid of than a wine stain on white carpeting. The others had taken to calling her "Losin' Susan," because that was what took up most of Elrohir's time during those two weeks - trying to lose Susan. Finally taking the hint that he was no longer interested, she used every opportunity to rake him over with looks of death.

Sighing, he noticed Haldir and Glorfindel smirking at him from their places a few rows below him. Elrohir made a face at them, and turned his attention to King Bob, who was getting ready to open the joust.

Standing up, King Bob waved cheerfully to the crowd. "Welcome, Ladies and Lords to the Joust! Our Champion will attempt to hold his title from the challenge of the Black Knight! The winner of this Joust wins that hand of my fair daughter!"

Losin' Susan waved prettily from her seat, looking from one side of the crowd to other until her gaze fell on Elrohir. Suddenly her princess-y wave turned into a one-finger salute. Elrohir cringed in his seat.

King Bob, oblivious as usual, continued, "Ladies and Lords, I give you the White Knight!"

At this cue, Elladan, now having given up on keeping his visor up at all, rode his white horse onto the field, one hand up in the air, waving at the crowd. He reined his horse to a halt in front of the Royal Box, and saluted the King.

After the crowd's cheering had subdued, King Bob said, "Lords and Ladies, our challengerchosen from all applicants at the Faire todayI give you the Black Knight!"

The challenger rode his magnificent black steed into the arena, sitting tall in his saddle. Reaching the Royal Box, he raised his lance in salute to King Bob.

Elladan manually raised and held his visor up, looking his challenger up and down. Something about the way the guy had ridden into the arena, and was comfortable holding his lance, seemed really odd to 'Dan. Usually, the challengers either needed both hands to hold the lance aloft, or dropped it all together. He remembered many instances when the challengers rode out onto the field and promptly fell off their horses. This guy actually seemed to know what he was doing. 'Dan began to feel a tad bit nervous. Looking over at his brother, whose face was composed in the picture of innocence, 'Dan knew at once at that he was in trouble. Big trouble.

King Bob interrupted his train of thought by explaining the rules of the joust to the crowd. The rules were simple. Each knight would gallop his horse toward the other from opposite sides of the field in an effort to push the other from their mount with their lances. Should a participant fall from their horse, the joust was over and the still-seated knight won. Should a lance break, the combatant with the intact lance would win. Should, by some miracle, both combatants fall from their steeds, they would switch to swordplay. The first telling blow would win the joust.

Both the White Knight and the Black Knight saluted King Bob once more, and trotted their horses to opposite sides of the field, and waited for the King to give the signal to begin.

King Bob waited, letting the suspense build. Well, at least that was the pretense actually he was letting the crowd buy more cold drinks and popcorn before allowing the joust to begin.

"Let the joust begin!" he shouted, a little red in the face as he plopped back down in his throne. King Bob was rather portly and round, and the afternoon sun was hot.

With a shout, both Knights spurred their horses into a full gallop towards each other, their lowered lances aimed directly at each other's hearts.

With a crash, they collided, the Black Knight falling backwards off of his horse. Elladan smiled underneath his visor, until he realized that he, too, was falling into space. Landing with a hard thud, he sat in the dirt, stunned that someone had succeeded in de-seating him.

The Black Knight, having taken many falls during his performances in the restaurant, barely hit the ground before he was up and running for the sword that his page, Legolas, held out for him.

'Dan watched the clanking Black Knight grab the sword from Legolas, and realized that his own page, Morty, was beckoning him wildly from the sidelines, waving his own sword in the air. Scrambling to his feet, 'Dan ran, rather clumsily in his armor, to take the sword from Morty.

Turning to face the onslaught of the Black Knight, Elladan brought his sword up just in time to block the downstroke of his opponent.

"Where did you learn to joust?" The Black Knight asked Elladan as they continued to thrust and parry.

"Why?"

"Because you suck at it," The Black Knight replied.

"You fell off too!" 'Dan cried, thrusting his sword belly height at his challenger, only to have his blade knocked away.

"I had an agreement with your brotherI took a dive," laughed the Black Knight, once again parrying Elladan's move.

"I should have known! I knew when you rode out that you must have had some experience" 'Dan said, suddenly furious with his brother. "Where did you learn swordplay?" he asked his combatant.

"Why?"

"Because you suck at it!" "Dan replied, spinning on his heel in a blur, cracking his sword against the Black Knight's shoulder plate. The Knight dropped his sword and grabbed at his shoulder. He wasn't really hurt, but it must have smarted prettily.

"I may not joust very well, but I do know a thing or too about swordplay," 'Dan laughed, ripping off his helmet and waving to the crowd. He strode over to the Royal Box, saluted and bowed to King Bob, flicked off his brother, and held his hand out for Losin' Susan to join him on the field.

The crowd cheered as King Bob declared the White Knight to be victorious, and Elladan and Losin' Susan walked off of the field together.

Sitting back in his seat, Elrohir watched his twin's retreat with raised eyebrows. "That was a really good showI didn't think he had it in him anymore. Maybe we should do every joust like this from now on."

As he stood and made his way out of the arena, Elrohir was suddenly struck with another thought'Dan was going to be furious, and would most likely be planning his revenge at that very moment.

Sighing, Elrohir could only hope that 'Dan's revenge wouldn't be too painful.