Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, or any of its characters. Elladan: You know, I'm beginning to think that Legolas may very well have been right about you Me: Why, whatever do you mean, 'Dan? Elladan: I mean that you seem to have no regard for an Elf's self-respect. Me: Sorry, 'Danbut I really can't pick on Legolas ALL of the time - people would get bored Elladan: Sopick on 'Ro for a while. Me: I plan on it. Elrohir: Huh? What? 'Danwhat have you done? Legolas: 'Ro! Run! Run and don't look backsave yourself! Me: Too late
A/N: Thank you all for your reviews! Have I told you all that I really hate October? I used to love Halloween, but now I'm so busy working all the time that I'm not able to enjoy it anymore. Sniff. Tearbut, Happy Halloween everyone (just a tad early).
Chapter 7
Jest in Time
Elrohir was in the dressing room, struggling to pull on a pair of multicolored striped leggings. Wiggling, bending, and jumping around the room, he pulled hard, trying to get them to stretch up over his butt. He finally succeeded, panting from his efforts. "I don't remember them being so difficult to put on the last time" he thought, reaching for the equally loud jerkin that matched the leggings. The jerkin had many tiny jingle bells sewn here and there on it, and they tinkled madly as he pulled the multicolored shirt over his head. Tugging it down, he realized that it only covered him to just past the waist.
Standing in front of the full-length mirror in the dressing room, he gaped at his reflection, frowning. "I can't go out like this!" he said aloud, hands on his hips.
"Like what?" Gimli said, coming into the dressing room in time to hear Elrohir's remark.
'Like this!" Elrohir yelled, spinning around to face the Dwarf. Being at just the right height, Gimli immediately saw the problem Elrohir was having. The jester's leggings were so tight that his, erjesterhood was prominently outlined through the thin fabric of the leggings. His jerkin was too short to cover the problem, no matter how hard 'Ro tugged at the hem.
"How am I supposed to go out in public dressed like this? It's obscene!" Elrohir continued to rant, now pacing the room in irritation. "But who else can do it? The costume would fit Elladan and Legolas the same way it fits me, and Haldir and Glorfindel are even larger than we are!"
Gimli raised an eyebrow at that last comment. "They are? They'll be glad to hear that"
Frowning at Gimli, Elrohir hissed, "I meant that they were taller than us, Dwarf."
"Oh, suresure, ye did, laddie," Gimli chuckled. "But if ye go outside like that, yer likely to frighten small children"
"What am I supposed to do? We have to have the jester appear before the wenching contestit's traditional! How did this costume suddenly get so smallElladan! It had to be Elladan. This is his way of getting back at me for the stunt I pulled at the joust!" Elrohir exclaimed. He grabbed his tri-pointed, multicolored, striped hat trimmed with bells, smashed it on his head, and made a beeline for the dressing room door.
"Where are ye going, Laddie? Ye can't go out like that!" Gimli hollered after the Elf. Elrohir, however, was so busy being annoyed with his twin, and his mind so occupied with the myriad of ways he was going to beat Elladan senseless, that he never heard the Dwarf, and forgot the rather large problem he had in his leggings.
Elrohir strode toward the office/trailer, completely oblivious to the stares of the people he passed. Mothers covered their children's eyes with their hands, pulling them out of his path. Young girls, and many older ones, giggled, pointed, and blushed. Young men elbowed each other, snorting and several times a hand reached out from the crowd in an effort to find out if what they were seeing was real.
Pushing open the door of the trailer, he began to shout at his brother. It took a moment for him to realize that Elladan was not in the trailerit was completely empty. He stalked to the back of the trailer to make sure his brother was not there, but spun around on his heel when he heard the door to the trailer open and slam shut and lock.
"Oh, crap," he muttered, seeing who had just entered.
It wasn't Elladan who stood there staring at his crotch. It was Losin' Susan, and she had the most evil look on her face. He brushed past her tugging at the door, only to find it locked from the outside.
Elladan stood with Legolas and Haldir just outside the trailer. Together they watched the trailer rock on its wheels, and listened to the screams coming from within.
Elrohir was the one screaming.
"He's going to be really, really pissed at you, 'Dan," Haldir commented, wincing as a particularly shrill scream ripped through the air.
"I know, I knowbut he deserved it after that stunt with the joust."
"You still won the joust, Elladanthere is no way he's going to win in there!" Legolas pointed out. The trailer rocked madly, threatening to fall over in the dirt.
"He'll get the upper handhe always does," Elladan explained calmly. "Just watch"
They watched the trailer suddenly become still and silent.
"She's killed him!" Haldir whispered, starting for the door. Elladan's hand stayed him. 'Dan put a finger over his lips, whispering "Nolisten and watch."
The trio continued to stare at the trailer for a few very long moments. Suddenly, the trailer began to rock up and down on its springs in a very, errhythmic fashion. The screams were replaced by moans and groans, and the occasional "OhOH!"
Grinning, Elladan looked at Legolas and Haldir. "I told you he'd get the upper hand"
"Now she won't leave him alone for another two weekshe's still gonna be really pissed, 'Dan," Legolas commented as they turned to walk toward the tent where they would hold the wenching contest.
"Yeah, but it's so worth it," Elladan grinned, hanging a pair of multi-colored, striped jester's leggings over the doorknob of the trailer. The very leggings he has switched on his brother that morning. He just hoped that Elrohir would hurry, or they'd have to delay the start of the wenching contest.