Only three hours later, it was time to get up for school. Somehow I had managed to force myself to sleep, but it felt like I'd only been asleep for a few minutes when that irritating alarm clock rang.
I was surprised at first that Dib wasn't up and about already. Usually he would be running around obsessing over one thing or another, waking me up before my alarm clock could.
Shuffling down the hallway in a sleepy haze, I wondered why he wasn't up yet. School started in under an hour after all.
I opened his door, ready to yell at him to get up. When I saw him though, the events of last night came back to me almost immediately.
Dib was hugging his knees to his chest, staring blankly at the wall in front of him. His blood stained the sheets and I could tell he hadn't even tried to fall asleep. He hadn't tried to do anything at all.
" …Dib?" I called out to him from the doorway.
Dib didn't seem to react at all. No words or motion came from him. He just continued to stare at the wall in front of him.
" Dib, we have school today you know." I informed him, because he probably didn't remember, " Get ready."
Again, I was ignored. That irritated me more than anything else. I slammed the door shut, but I remained where I was. A line had been severed with that slam and it made me immediately regret it. I tried to shrug off that feeling as best as I could as I made my way down the stairs and to the kitchen.
Apparently Dad hadn't come home. Otherwise he would have been angry that Dib bled all over the place. I doubt if he would have cared that Dib was hurt. After all, Dib was the family disappointment.
It was a harsh statement, but it was true. Dad expected Dib to idolize him like the rest of the world. Dad expected him to follow in his footsteps and continue his legacy. I guess he was disappointed when it finally clicked that Dib wanted no part of it.
I could do it if I wanted to, but I know it wouldn't be the same anyway. I think it's some kind of father and older son thing. It would mean more if Dib followed in his footsteps than it would if I did.
Heh. It's so old-fashioned.
I used the last of the milk on my bowl of Cocoa Splodies, because I knew that Dib wouldn't care in the state he was in. Vaguely, I wondered if Dib would drag his butt out of bed to go to school.
It was an odd feeling, having the entire house be silent even when I knew Dib was home. Something wasn't right about that, but there wasn't exactly anything I could do about it.
After another half an hour of getting ready, I grabbed my backpack by the door and called up to Dib's room one last time.
" Dib, I'm going to school now with or without you!" I shouted, purposely trying to sound annoyed.
To my surprise though, he was at the top of the stairs, slowly making his way down. He had cleaned himself up as much as possible and changed his bloody torn clothes. His hair was back in its usual spike, but it seemed to droop down just slightly.
Despite this, he didn't seem any different than he did last night. His eyes still held that blank look, as though he were blind to the world around him. His movements were still twitchy and awkward. One hand gripped the sticky banister and two feet carefully stepped in time.
On any normal day, I would have left, slamming the door in his face for not going fast enough. Today though, I decided that I could wait for him. Just this once.
With a shaky hand, he grabbed his backpack and stared up at me. I assumed that meant he was ready to go and I held open the door for him. He looked so solemn, rising up. His eyes lowered a little to meet mine, but they still held that blank look that had taken over my brother.
In slow even steps, he led me out the door and as the door closed there was no one there to say goodbye to us. Dib's hands grasped his backpack straps so tight that the color rushed away from his knuckles. His eyes were fixed on the ground.
The silence between us was eerie. It was almost a ritual that on the way to and from school, Dib would try to have one-sided conversations with me. They were only one-sided because I would refuse to speak to him. I was supposed to be the silent one, not him.
Still, he didn't say a word on our walk to skool. Even walking inside, with people pointing and laughing at the "crazy UFO kid", there was no reaction from him. I knew he had heard though. He always heard them, no matter how softly it was spoken. I never understood why he took it so seriously. After all, they were just stupid people. Each word seemed to stab him harder and harder, even if he wasn't able to show it.
If it didn't stop, one of these days they would kill him. Though it's funny saying that, as he seemed dead inside already.
Dib shouldn't have gone to school that day. I could see it in his eyes that this was the last place he needed to be. He needed to be at home, resting his wounds and his big head. Unfortionately, we were already at skool
I would be the last person he would hear that from though.
We parted ways in the greasy hallway, him heading for his class and me heading for mine. I hated my class with a burning passion hotter than ten suns. Especially the way Mr. Elliot wanted to bond with each of his students. I wanted simply to bond his neck in half. The mental image made me chuckle softly as I entered Mr. Elliot's classroom.
I'm not sure how I managed to suffer through his 'feel-good' torments everyday of that year, but that particular day he grated on my nerves more than usual. Even his voice seemed to annoy me that day. Granted, he had an annoying voice everyday, but that's not the point. I couldn't be more grateful for the lunch bell.
Since my classroom was closer, I arrived at the cafeteria long before Dib did. I was always finished long before him too, since I didn't need to wait in line with my filthy classmates to buy lunch.
I watched from my seat as Dib entered the room. The traditional paper airplanes and spitballs bombed my brother as he made his way to the lunch line, where he'd get the most disgusting piece of meat the school had to offer. He never complained about this though. He was trying to save the world, remember?
Maybe deep down he was hoping that if he saved the world, people would love and adore him. They would cheer him on and he wouldn't be "that crazy UFO kid" anymore. Hell, maybe even Dad would be proud. I think that's how Dib wanted things to be, but I never said anything to him about it. There wasn't really any reason to.
Today though, there was no hope in his eyes as he crossed the room, no reaction to the filthy meat, and the harsh cruel laughter of his peers seemed to pass straight through him. It was as though his body was running on autopilot while his mind remained locked away.
No one could see what was wrong with him, no one but me anyway. They all just laughed and laughed, waiting for that saddened look when Dib's dreams were crushed for the millionth time. They would push him closer and closer to the edge, waiting for him to break down into tears of sorrow or fists of rage. It would never come though. Not today.
The walking shell that was Dib sat down next to me and silently swirled his meat around in the Styrofoam tray. This stranger didn't seem to notice my presence at all.
Something else was different about today though, besides the fact that Dib was acting stranger than usual. It didn't dawn on me until I glanced around the cafeteria what it was.
Zim wasn't in school today.
The last time Zim had been absent, Dib refused to leave me alone about it. He insisted Zim was up to something and must be stopped. As though I would do something to help him. As though I'd care.
Today though, he didn't seem to care about Zim. He didn't seem to care about anything. He was moving into my territory now.
I decided to try and spark up some conversation. It couldn't hurt, right?
" So…" I started slowly, " Where's Zim today?"
Bad idea. Dib's face paled considerably, as though he were remembering something he'd rather forget. I could tell he had tensed, as though I had attacked him somehow. His plastic spork scratched at the tray, trying to dig through to the table. Dib still didn't say a word to me.
This had to do with Zim. It had to. What explanation was there at this point?
If I found out that Zim had done something that permanently damaged my brother's brain, he would be dead piggy meat. Dad would insist he be carted away in white, and it would be all Zim's fault for tearing the only person who ever pretended to care about me away. That could not happen.
I decided then and there that I had a stop to make after school, at a certain ugly green house.
(A/N: Thanks for all of the wonderful reviews! Ooo…you all have really good theories, but we'll have to wait and see what happens…: ) Please R&R and the next chapter will be up very soon.)