Chapter 14
Much to their own surprise, the family had been dealing well with being in the house for the first time since the invasion. Bo, who was still dealing with bad memories, had asked Alicia to read her a bedtime story so that she could sleep easier. One story turned into three, and as Alicia made her way through the fourth, Bo finally fell asleep. Alicia fell asleep in Bo's bed not long after, but she woke up around 3 a.m. The edge of the book she had been reading to Bo was poking her eyelid. She stirred, then looked around. After realizing where she was, she tried to sit up. However, Bo's tiny arms were locked around her waist. Alicia unfastened them and as soon as she did, Bo woke up.
"Aunt Ali," she whimpered, "don't leave."
"Honey, I-"
Alicia's heart broke as Bo's fragile eyes filled with water.
"I'm still scared, Aunt Ali. Please?"
"OK. But let me go say goodnight to Uncle Merrill and then I'll come back."
"Promise?"
"I promise, baby."
"Will you bring me back a glass of milk?"
"Sure thing."
Alicia went downstairs and heard that the TV was still on. Merrill was stretched out on the couch in front of it, fast asleep. Alicia turned off the TV and covered Merrill with a nearby blanket. Then she leaned over and gave him a kiss.
"Goodnight, stud."
She then went into the kitchen and poured a small glass of milk for Bo. After doing so, she went back upstairs and into the kids' room. She handed the glass of milk to Bo and then climbed under the covers with her.
"Is it good, princess?"
Bo nodded her head and finished off the glass. She wiped the milk from her upper lip with her hand and then she stared at Alicia.
"What is it?"
"You look like Mom."
"I know. Everyone tells me that. Even when I was your age, my parents and grandparents said the same thing."
"Why can't you marry Daddy and be our new mommy?"
Alicia took a deep breath and played with Bo's hair.
"Because your daddy still loves your mommy very much. I love your daddy, but not the same way I love Uncle Merrill."
"Aunt Ali, what does attaction mean?"
"Attaction? There's no such word as attaction. Do you mean attraction?"
"I don't know. I heard Daddy praying earlier tonight. He was asking God to help him stop his attacion to you."
"What?"
"He said, 'Please help me fight my attaction to Alicia.'"
Alicia's heart stopped.
"Bo, he said that?"
She nodded her head and replied, "So what does it mean?"
"You meant attraction- and I'll tell you what it means in the morning. Let's get some rest. I'm sleepy."
"OK. You're not gonna leave, are you ?"
"No, baby. I'm staying right here. Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Aunt Ali."
Alicia tried to fall asleep, but she couldn't get the thought of what Bo had said off of her mind.
Could Graham have really said that?
"Aunt Alicia? Why are you in here?"
Alicia opened her eyes and found Morgan standing above her.
"Did you and Uncle Merrill have a fight again?"
"No, honey. I fell asleep while I was reading to Bo last night. What time is it?"
"8:15."
"Sheesh. Why are you up so early?"
"I like watching Gilligan's Island when I stay home from school. When do you think school will start again?"
"I don't know. I'm sure we'll find out today."
Alicia swung her body out of bed and left the room, headed to the bathroom. As she stepped in there, a voice broke her thoughts.
"Morning, Ali. How'd you sleep?"
She turned around and saw Graham standing before her.
"Oh, um, great there, Graham. And you?"
"Surprisingly well. Thanks for reading to Bo last night."
"No problem."
They glared at each other until Graham spoke first.
"Are you OK?"
"Yeah..but remind me to talk to you about something later."
"Why couldn't we talk about it now?"
"I'd rather wait."
"If you say so. What do you want for breakfast?"
"Scrambled eggs and waffles would be nice."
"Then that's what you'll get."
"Thanks."
"Anything for my favorite sister-in-law."
"I'm your only sister-in-law, Sherlock."
Alicia closed the door to the bathroom and rested her head against the door.
If it's not one thing, it's another, she thought to herself.
She came out of the bathroom and headed downstairs. She was expecting to see Merrill on the couch still asleep, but he was gone. She went through the kitchen and opened the back door, and she found him outside. He had one of his bats in his hands, swinging it powerfully through the air. He stopped when he saw Alicia standing in the doorway.
"Good morning, sunshine! I missed you last night."
"Bo had me read, like, six hundred stories to her. But I did come downstairs once and pulled the blanket over you. You looked so comfortable and cute sleeping there..I couldn't disturb you."
Merrill put the bat down and met Alicia as she came down the back door steps.
"Hi cutie," he said softly.
He swung her off the second step and carefully placed her on the ground. They shared a quick kiss and then went to go sit on the picnic bench.
"It's perfect out here today. We should have a picnic or something."
"Yeah."
Merrill ran his hand along the side of Alicia's face and kissed her.
"It's so good to see you like this, baby."
"Like what?"
"Smiling and glowing with happiness."
"This is the happiest I've been in a long time. I finally feel at peace with everything in my life. Now I'm not afraid to do anything- including getting married to you."
They stayed outside for another 20 minutes or so until Graham came outside.
"Breakfast is ready!"
Merrill and Alicia hopped off of the picnic bench and went into the dining room, where Bo and Morgan were already sitting. Bo and Alicia exchanged glances, and it was as if Bo were telling Alicia that what she had said in the middle of the night was safe between them. After they finished, Alicia offered to clear the dishes and the kids helped her. Meanwhile, Graham and Merrill sat on the porch outside drinking coffee.
"So when do you go back to the church?" asked Merrill.
"I'm going to talk to Pastor Rustin later this afternoon. I called him about an hour ago and everything seems to be OK."
"Now I guess it's my turn to make a change for the better. You're going back to the church, Ali is recovering from her depression, and here I am."
"Merrill, don't feel like you have to change just because we did. If anything, you need to stay the same. You were Alicia's pillar of strength- and in so many ways, mine as well."
"But how am I going to be a good husband for Ali if I'm working the full serve at a gas station? I told her the other night that I want to try to find a job as a coach somewhere. I'm beginning to realize that sports is where I belong."
"Who knows? There could be a lot more job openings since so many people.."
"Yeah. We'll see. Listen, I'm gonna head to the gas station to see if Martin or Steve are still around."
"OK."
Merrill went inside and literally bumped into Alicia, knocking her onto the ground because of his muscular stature.
"Honey, are you OK?"
"Yeah. Watch where you're going next time, or I'll kick your ass."
He helped her up and said, "I'd like to see you try, Spencer."
"I was coming outside to meet you and Graham."
"And I was coming inside to tell you that I'm going out."
"Where ya going?"
"To the gas station. I need to check up on some things, OK?"
"OK."
Merrill grabbed his wallet from the kitchen counter, as well as his car keys. Then he went to Alicia and pulled her close to him, teasing her lips with his.
"Don't miss me too much, beautiful."
"I won't, stud."
He kissed her and said, "I'll be back as soon as I can."
"Bring me back some Skittles. I have a craving for Skittles."
"I will. Anything else?"
"Nope. Just you and some Skittles."
They kissed again and Alicia watched as Merrill got in the car and drove away. Graham came inside and approached Alicia.
"Now what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?"
Alicia lowered her voice and said, "Let's go to the garage house. I don't want the kids to hear us."
"OK."
Graham followed behind Alicia as she hastily walked to the garage and up the stairs. She closed the door behind Graham and they stood across from each other.
Alicia said, "Bo asked me last night what the word attraction meant."
"Well, that's good. Most four year olds don't even know that word exists."
"She heard you say it last night while you were praying."
"I'm not getting your point, Alicia."
"She told me she heard you ask God to help you fight your attraction to me, Graham. Now will you please tell me what the hell is going on?"
Graham sat on the bed and let out an uncomfortable snicker.
"Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place. I can't lie about it and there's no way around it. Well, it is true."
"God, Graham. Why?"
"How can I not? I look at you and I see Colleen and all her best features. Lately, I find myself dreaming about you and thinking about you.."
"Stop, Graham."
"You know, even when we were little, Merrill always did end up being happier at the end of the day."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"It..never mind. You know what? Let's forget this conversation even happened, Alicia."
"How do you expect me to do that?"
"Why did you even need to bring this up if you knew it would have an outcome like this?"
"Because I thought we could be two mature adults and talk it out."
"Well, how can we, when the one mature adult in this conversation is finding himself falling more in love each day with his brother's fiancee?"
Alicia fought back anger as she said, "You are not falling in love with me. You're grieving over Colleen and I just happen to be here. You're.."
Before Alicia could finish her sentence, Graham grabbed her arms. He pulled her so close to him, she could feel his heavy breaths on her face. Then he pressed his lips against hers.