AUTHOR'S NOTES: This one has been done to death by countless parody writers, but I hope that the info from Episode II, coupled with the passage of time, will give it a fresh slant. Steve Cavanaugh, from SBOTW, wrote a version of this song about R2-D2 ("All his friends say he's quite annoyed for a small droid"), and about 200 people have written variations of "Pretty fly for a Jedi". I hope you enjoy this version.
Sleazebaggano
Premise: A tribute to Elan Sleazebaggano, the scruffy-looking death-stick salesman.
To: The Offspring's "Pretty Fly for a White Guy"
"Bargon wan chee kospah."
"Wanna buy some death-sticks?" (Uh-uh! Uh-uh!)
"Wanna buy some death-sticks?" (Uh-uh! Uh-uh!)
"Wanna buy some death-sticks?" (Uh-uh! Uh-uh!)
And everybody says he's quite a nag, for a sleazebag
(Bo dopa duba fwanna k'wanna k'wanna keeta)
You know it's kind of hard
Just to get along today
Our subject is a fool
And he's living the wrong way
He doesn't have a clue
And he completely lacks style
And the goods that he carries
Are not worth your while
So don't hesitate, he's a degenerate
You know that no-one really likes him anyway
He'll push his stuff, until you've had enough
Just say no way, just say no way
He'll give you your fix, selling you death-sticks,
And he's played by the guy who was Mouse on The Matrix
He'll make you quite displeased
Because (Hey! Hey!) you don't want anything
"Wanna buy some death-sticks?" (Uh-uh! Uh-uh!)
"Wanna buy some death-sticks?" (Uh-uh! Uh-uh!)
"Wanna buy some death-sticks?" (Uh-uh! Uh-uh!)
And everybody says he's quite a nag, for a sleazebag
He is not a mercenary
He doesn't smuggle spice
He's just looking to unload his
Narcotic merchandise
Lurking in the cantina, hassling everyone he sees
The girls all stay away from him
Because he looks diseased
He sure thinks he's great, but he's a reprobate
You know he really doesn't get it anyway
His prices are a steal, 'cuz he can't make a deal
Every day, in every way
Sure, he acts real dumb, his brain seems to be numb,
But Jabba the Hutt would call him his type of scum
He'll make you quite displeased
When (Hey! Hey!) you don't want anything
He'll show you his antennae
And curl them just for fun
But you'll want to tear them both out by the time he is done
Friends say he's trying too hard
And he's barely hip
Because he fried his own mind
On a really rotten trip
"Wanna buy some death-sticks?" (Uh-uh! Uh-uh!)
"Wanna buy some death-sticks?" (Uh-uh! Uh-uh!)
"Wanna buy some death-sticks?" (Uh-uh! Uh-uh!)
(Bo dopa duba fwanna k'wanna k'wanna keeta)
So don't berate, he doesn't need your hate
You can tell he's missing a brain cell or eight
He doesn't care, he'll pull out his wares
Just say no way, just say no way
Don't pull out your knife, don't give him more strife
Because he went home last night and rethought his life
Elan Sleazebaggano
He's such a nag, you know
And you should just say no
When (Hey! Hey!) you don't want anything