Breaking the Habit

Featuring the song Breaking the Habit by Linkin Park

Disclaimer: I don't own Lupin III or Jigen or Goemon of Fujiko or Pops. I do own Lealah, who's in this surprisingly enough. I'm not part of Linkin Park either.

I walked in the door, my head screaming. I had killed again today. Not for self-defense, or because the others were in trouble, but in cold blood. Two to the back of the head, Mafia style. Mafia Style; just the thought of those words brought back memories, memories best left forgotten. As I began drowning in them, I ducked into my room. He would have come after us. He would have hunted us to the grave, even Lealah. I killed the bastard to protect the kid...

I fell to my knees with a loud thump. No one came to find out what the noise was. They all knew I could take care of myself. They thought they could stop me if the demon took over. Until then I'd be fine.

Bull.

Memories consume

Like opening a wound

I'm picking me apart again.

You all assume

I'm safe here in my room

(Unless I try to start again.)

There is a demon inside me, planted there long ago. Once, so many years ago, I thought I could control it, use it to my advantage. It almost destroyed what little soul I had left. I caught it in time and locked it away. After that, I realized that I didn't like killing. It was wrong, it made me feel like a monster. Then I started asking myself questions that had been locked away where the demon now resided. Why did I do this if I didn't like it? Why did I start things that I knew would lead to more death. I didn't then and still don't know the answer, but I knew the demon would never go away. I thought I could keep it locked away, but it resurfaced tonight and shot that guy. I guess there is only one way to get rid of it.

I don't want to be the one

The battles always choose

Cause in time I realize

That I'm the one confused.

I don't know what's worth fighting for

Or Why I have to scream.

I don't know why I instigate

And say what I don't mean.

I don't know how I got this way,

I know it's not alright,

So I'm breaking the habit, I'm breaking the habit,

Tonight.

I quietly set my gun on the bed and locked the bedroom door. As I sat back down I picked up my prized magnum and stared at it emptily. The Demon had been brought out by the urge to protect. "I'll get that bitch of a kid, too!" he'd said. I tried to shake away the memories, old and new. The wouldn't go.

If I couldn't keep the demon in check, it would turn against the very people I'd been trying to protect. Lupin...Goemon...Lealah...Fuji-well, Lupin, Goemon and Lealah...This hurt far worse than the last time it happened. Now I had friends, a proverbial family to protect. I didn't want to get them hurt. At the very least, Lealah deserved to be safe in her own home. It wasn't worth it. If I stayed here, I'd end up hurting someone, and I cannot keep the demon from escaping. I knew what I had to do.

Clutching my cure

I tightly lock the door

I try to catch my breath again.

I hurt much more

Than any time before

I have no options left again.

I don't want to be the one

The battle always choose

Cause in time I realize

That I'm the one confused.

I don't know what's worth fighting for

Or why I have to scream.

I don't know why I instigate

And say what I don't mean.

I don't know how I got this way

I'll never be alright

So I'm breaking the habit, I'm breaking the habit,

Tonight.

I gazed into the barrel of the magnum. It would be so easy just to end it all. All the blood would be a bitch to get off the walls, but that's a small price to pay. If I just pulled the trigger, they would all be safe. The demon that had plagued so many people for so long would die along with me.

It all ends here!

I'll paint it on the walls,

Cause I'm the one at fault.

I'll never fight again

And this is how it ends.

I had the gun pointed at my temple when I heard something; singing. Lealah walking by and singing the Beatles.

"Would you believe in a love at first sight? Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time. What do you see when you turn out the lights? I can't tell you but I know It's mine."

Gun to my head and heaviness in my heart, I started to chuckle, then laugh. This was partially from the stupidity of the song and partially because for the first time in 38 years of living, I fully understood what that last line was talking about. It hadn't dawned on me till now.

"Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends. Mm, get high with a little help from my friends. Oh, gonna try with a little help from my friends."

Still grinning I set the gun back on the bed. She had watched as I placed a bullet in the guy's brain. If she could face the demon without fear, so could I. I'd just "get by with a little help from my friends."

I still don't know why I let the demon in, but now I know I can live with it. The demon would probably never go away, but I can keep it locked. And, with a little help, I can break the habit.

I don't know what's worth fighting for

or why I have to scream.

But know I have some clarity

To show you what I mean.

I don't know how I got this was

I'll never be alright

So I'm breaking the habit, I'm breaking the habit,

I'm breaking the habit

Tonight.

"Hey Jigen! We're going to case a museum for our next heist. Let's go!" Putting the gun away, I went to join them.

"Hey, afterward, dinner on me." I said.

"Be sure to order the most expensive item on the menu." Goemon joked.

"Since when did you grow a since of humor?" Lealah asked. "Jigen, are you whistling Get by with a Little Help from my Friends?"

In answer, I sang "Do you need anybody? I need somebody to love. Could it be anybody? I just need someone to love."

"God, you can't sing!" Lupin complained.

"At least I don't chase away mythical beasts." It felt good to be alive. And I knew 'd be able to keep the demon away from them.