Stewie's Monologue
Stewie is feeling terrible and he undergoes a series of injustices. He is moved to say this speech. "About three years ago I was at peace. Fed through a tube and curled curled up in a comfortable fetal position. But after nine months, my rest was interrupted. I was squeezed through a football shaped hole. As I was screaming in fear, I was slapped on the bottom so called for my own good. The light almost blinded me and I put into the arms of some hideous woman named Lois. Then some fat man started playing with my bloody fingers. I am not to be toyed with. I am not a bloody raggedy Ann doll. They took me to this godforsaken place they call home. Lois sang an awful song to me. It went something something something pop goes the eagle. During this ordeal, a drunk dog was lay back sipping on gin and juice. I still don't know what that means."
Stewie continued, "Now I am here to help all then kids in the world. So they won't go through this same tragedy that I did. For two years I've been living these people plus a socially challenged ugly girl named Megan Griffin and some fat ass retard named Christopher Griffin. Tell me is that what you want to go through?"
By this time about 20 babies surrounded the sandbox. And there answer to the question Stewie asked all the boys said, "Hell no!"
The girls answered, "............"
Stewie ended, "Okay so I'm definitely a homosexual!"