AUTHOR'S NOTES: And they said it couldn't be done. Ha ha ha ha ha!

Toydarian Rhapsody

Premise: A musical version of the "custody battle" for Anakin's future.

To: Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody"

( ) = Watto singing

[ ] = Anakin singing

{ } = Qui-Gon singing

[Is this my real life?
Is this temporary?
Stuck in a slave's life
What is my destiny?]
{Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see}
[I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
Because I'm a slave, all I know
I belong to Watto
And that's the way it goes] (Money's all that matters to me, to me)

[Mama, I just met a man
With long hair on his head
And a cute girl in his stead
Mama, life is not all fun
Sometimes I think I'd like to go away
Mama, ooo
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not still with you this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on, I'll return a few years after]

[Mama, my time has come
It's all going to be fine
I will come back in time
Goodbye Mama - I have to go
Gotta leave this all behind and end my youth

Mama, ooo - That's the way it goes
I'll become a Jedi
And I'll return someday and free you all]

[I see a tiff between Watto and a man]
(What a mooch! What a mooch!) {All you do is haggle}
[Will they do the right thing? – They are fighting over me]
(E pateeso!) {If you say so}
(E pateeso!) {If you say so}
(E pateeso!) {Let him go} – (I still say no!)

[But I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me]
{He's just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity}
(Easy come, easy go) – [Will you let me go?]
(Ha Chuba! No, I will not let you go) – {Let him go!}
(Ha Chuba! I will not let you go) – {Let him go!}
(Ha Chuba! I will not let you go) – [Let me go!]
(Will not let you go) – [Let me go!] (Never!)
(Never let you go) – [Let me go!]
(Never let me go - ooo
No, no, no, no, no, no, no )
[Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia, I must go
Naboo has an angel put aside for me
for me
for me]

(So you think you can take what is rightfully mine
So you think you can scam me, you lousy Jedi
No maybes - can't do this to me, buddy
You'd better get out – you'd better get right outta here!)

(Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Money's all that matters
Anyone can see
Money's all that matters – money's all that matters to me)

(And that's the way it goes...)