AUTHOR'S NOTES: Barenaked Ladies anybody else. Search your feelings, you know it to be true.
One Geek
Premise: So this is why I can't get a date. The character in this song isn't based on me (mostly), but is sort of the common public interpretation of a Star Wars fan. If you understand all of these references, you're as bad as me.
To: Barenaked Ladies' "One Week"
It was "one geek"
That's what you called me
Just because I'm waiting in line for Episode III
Five days ago you laughed at me
Said "Go get a life and come back and see me"
It's been three days since the afternoon
I had a mock lightsaber battle in your bedroom
Yesterday you broke up with me
And now I'm gonna sulk 'til you say you're sorry
Holy cow Jake Lloyd's acting stinks
Dumb like Jar Jar Binks
I prefer Kevin J. Anderson
Good times with my favourite myth
Though I love Dark Lords of the Sith
I always cheer for Luke Skywalker or Obi-Wan
Outer space battles are good times
You know it's not a crime
Have you ever seen the flying shoe?
John Williams has the mad hits
Think I'm a half-wit?
Well, I can use the Force to choke you
Don't forget about Boba Fett
Because he'll catch Han Solo yet
And did you know that Palpatine would be a traitor?
Got to see the show, 'cause then you'll know
The status quo is going to go
It will be so cool when Ani becomes Darth Vader
How can I help it if my quoting Star Wars makes you mad?
This is better than just following a passing fad
"Barra mel boska, chuba jee furell."
Can't understand what I said? Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to speak my heart in Huttese
I have a history of getting real hurt
It's been one week since you looked at me
Threw your arms in the air and said "You're crazy"
Five days since you stomped on me
When I tried to use a mind trick to get an apology
It's been three days since the afternoon
You told me you'd seen better hygiene in a baboon
Yesterday you called the cops on me
And now I'm going to stay mad 'til you say you're sorry
Having a war with my action figures
Making my collection grow even bigger
Reading books written by Tim Zahn
They're about Admiral Thrawn
I hope the Noghri are in this one
Like Harrison Ford I'm getting stocky
Like Han I'm cocky
Like Jar Jar guaranteed to mortify
Like Kurosawa, George makes great films
Okay, they're the same films
But with Jedi instead of samurai
Joining all of the fan clubs
Ignoring all the social snubs
I can just pretend I'm flying in my X-Wing
And I assume the forest moon
Should have been doomed and went up boom
Killed the Ewoks – we hate those little daft things
How can I help it if my liking Star Wars makes you mad?
This is better than just following a passing fad
"Barra mel boska, chuba jee furell."
Can't understand what I said? Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to speak my heart in Huttese
I have a picture of Darth Vader on my shirt
It's been one week since they set me free
I went over to your house and said I'm sorry
Five days since I flattered you
I said you were prettier than the Queen of Naboo
It's been three days since the afternoon
I bought you flowers the size of a small moon
Yesterday you smiled at me
But you still say that you'd rather kiss a Wookiee
Yes, you still say that you'd rather kiss a Wookiee
Yes, you still say that you'd rather kiss a Wookiee
Just for that crack, I won't share my cookies