AUTHOR'S NOTES: I finally got a Stormtrooper song up here! And it's… another Aerosmith song.
I'm Not Going To Hit A Thing
Premise: A Stormtrooper laments his pitiful accuracy. Are these guys lousy shots or what?
To: Aerosmith's "I Don't Want To Miss a Thing"
I don't know how long I'm going to keep on breathing,
'Cause the casualties are heaping,
And I can hear my comrades screaming,
I just can't convince the Rebels to surrender,
I could stay lost in this firefight forever,
How to fire straight and true I simply can't measure,
Don't know what's wrong with my eyes, I shoot like I'm half asleep,
'Cause I missed again, and I'm not going to hit a thing,
When I fire a shot or two, the blaster bolt just goes askew,
'Cause I missed again, and I'm not going to hit a thing
My battalion is taking quite a beating,
In this armor I'm hot and steaming,
In this helmet it's hard just seeing,
Then I squint my eyes and put my hands together,
But it proves to be no use, I'll keep missing forever, and forever and ever
Don't know what's wrong with my eyes, I shoot like I'm half asleep,
'Cause I missed again, and I'm not going to hit a thing,
When I fire a shot or two, the blaster bolt just goes askew,
'Cause I missed again, and I'm not going to hit a thing
That last one was off by a mile,
Yet another lousy miss,
It shot off into the blue, I know it's true,
'Nother miss, that one wasn't even close,
I feel myself start to lose my mind
The Rebels say it's like an omen,
They get away all the time
Don't know what's wrong with my eyes, I shoot like I'm half asleep,
'Cause I missed again, and I'm not going to hit a thing,
When I fire a shot or two, the blaster bolt just goes askew,
'Cause I missed again, and I'm not going to hit a thing
…
