Janet felt like she'd forgotten how to breathe. She seemed to be trapped in some kind of waking memory, and it just happened to be the memory of the most painful moment of her life.
General Hammond, Colonel O'Neill, Teal'c, Sam, and Jacob Carter were all gathered around Daniel's bed, gazing down at him with identical grave expressions on their faces. It made her want to scream.
"We do have one among us who will soon be in need of a new host," Jacob was telling her. His tone was full of sympathy, but it didn't make his words any easier to swallow. "I know it's not an idea you're particularly fond of, but it is Daniel's best chance at this point."
Janet nodded, but it wasn't a nod of agreement. To her mind, that was only a last resort. "What's option number two?"
Jacob didn't miss a beat. "Option number two is trying the healing device. I can't guarantee it'll work, but I'm willing to try my best."
"Then that's what we'll do."
He nodded and made a half-turn towards Sam. He blinked once in surprise when he saw that she was already holding the device out to him. "Thanks, kid," he said, his tone implying that he understood exactly why she had it there so quickly. She'd been hoping that would be the course of action he would take.
Janet's feeling of déjà vu grew more intense as Jacob slipped the device onto his hand. He held it over Daniel's head, closed his eyes, and the device began to glow as Janet became lost in a memory...
"His condition is grave. I do not know if I can save him, and even if I can, I do not believe I can restore him to his full healthy state."
Janet couldn't even reply to this statement. She knew it was her job to say something, do something, give an order, make a demand... all she could do was stare at him and try not to cry. Try not to scream.
"Do what you can."
Sam was the one who said what Janet was supposed to say. Why? Why was Janet unable to speak? Why couldn't she open her stupid mouth and say, "Save him! Whatever it takes, I need you to save him, dammit! I've done all I can do, and I'm damned if I'm going to stand here and watch him die!"
"It's pretty bad."
Jacob's words snapped Janet back to the present with a start. "Can you help him?"
He sighed and rubbed his forehead as he tried to find the right words to say. "I might be able to help him, but you of all people must know how tricky this is gonna be. I mean, this is the brain we're talking about here. It's the most delicate, intricate organ in the body. I'm a little nervous to even try this."
"Is it likely to kill him?" Janet asked anxiously.
"I doubt it would go quite that far, but if I direct the beam at the same portion of his brain for a fraction of a second too long, I could do more harm than good. It could literally affect his brain like a Goa'uld ribbon device would and fry the brain cells rather than heal them. I've never done anything like this before and neither has Selmak, so I really have no idea how easy it would be to make a mistake like that."
Janet bit her lip as she considered the pros and cons of the situation. If Jacob didn't try this, Daniel had almost no chance of ever being anything more than a vegetable. If he tried it and failed, Daniel really wouldn't be any worse off. If he tried it and succeeded, chances were good that she'd get her Daniel back at last.
And then there was option number one.
"I trust you," she said after a moment of tense silence had passed. "Do it."
Jacob nodded and took a deep breath. Then he steeled himself and held the device over Daniel's head once again.
Every eye in the room was trained upon Daniel's face as Jacob worked. They were all watching for some change - anything to show them it was working.
They were all disappointed.
After only a few seconds, Jacob shut the device off and let his hands fall to his sides. "That is as much as I can safely do for now," Selmak said, making his first appearance since Jacob had arrived. "His brain simply could not endure the beam for any longer without furthering the damage."
Janet forced a tiny smile to show her appreciation. "That's fine," she said. "I understand. You are able to help him, though?"
"I believe this could work, yes," Selmak replied. "However, a lot of damage has been done. It will take a long time to heal with such short sessions. I am afraid I cannot stay long enough to do it myself, but I believe I could teach Sam how to continue the treatments if you have no objections."
Janet glanced at Sam, who was staring at her father with wide eyes.
"Me?" Sam said in disbelief. "I'm, uh... I don't think I can..."
"Sam." Her name was said in Jacob's voice, and it calmed her down immediately. "I know what happened when you tried this on Daniel before. Believe me, I wouldn't put you in this position if I thought you couldn't do it."
"But, Dad, you said a minute ago that you were afraid of doing more harm than good!"
"It's not as difficult as I thought it would be," he said. "I could tell right away when I needed to stop. You'll do fine."
"Please, Sam," Janet said. Her voice broke on the words despite her struggle to keep herself calm.
Sam looked at Janet, back at her father, and then down at Daniel. She looked tired, determined, hopeful, and scared all at once.
"Okay," she finally agreed. "Tell me what I need to do."
"Hold the device over his forehead. That's right. Now, close your eyes and concentrate on your desire to heal him. Picture his brain in your mind's eye, and let your instincts tell you where to focus the beam. That's it. You're doing great, Sam."
Sam deactivated the device and opened her eyes again. She looked down at Daniel in amazement. "You're right, Dad, that was much different from anything else I've tried to do with this thing."
"Did you see the extent of the damage?" he asked.
Sam winced. "It's so bad," she said, her voice thick with emotion. "Are you sure I'm going to be able to fix this?"
"You'll do just fine," he said, laying a reassuring arm across her shoulders. "I'd suggest you wait two or three days before you give him another treatment, just to be on the safe side. Other than that, just use your own judgment on how much you feel you can do during each session."
Sam bit her lip as she listened to her father's words, trying to hold back from arguing with him. He had way too much faith in her abilities, in her opinion. He was her father, after all. Naturally he'd feel she could do anything she set her mind to. Realistically, though... that was another matter. "I've never been able to use this thing properly before," she said. "Well, except for that time with Chronus, but I think that was a fluke more than anything else."
"Exactly," her father said. "You were able to heal Chronus because you had to heal him. You'll be able to heal Daniel because it's up to you to save his life. That's the bottom line, Sam. No pressure," he added, giving her a playful nudge.
Sam rolled her eyes. "Yeah. Right. Thanks a lot."
"You can do this, Sam. Jolinar left you with that much. Trust me. Trust yourself."
Sam sighed and nodded. "Someone among the Tok'ra will be available to help if something goes wrong, though, right?" she asked in uncertainty.
"Of course," he assured her. "But nothing will go wrong. Not if you concentrate and trust your instincts."
'Enough of the wimp routine already,' she told herself. 'He's right - I can do this.'
"I'll try," she said.
Her father wrapped his arms around her and gave her a gentle squeeze. "I know you will," he said.
Sam returned the embrace as she felt some of his strength seep into her through his comforting arms. No matter how old she got, he never failed to make her feel as safe and loved as he had when she was a little girl. "Thanks, Dad."
He soon released her and rubbed her arms fondly as he stepped back. Then he turned to Janet, who had been standing silently on the other side of Daniel's bed the entire time. "Janet?" he said, trying to get her attention.
Janet tore her gaze away from Daniel to look up at him. "Yes, thank you, General," she said.
"I've told you before to call me Jacob," he said. He held his hand out to her, stretching his arm over Daniel's bed. "And you're welcome."
Janet took his hand and forced a smile. "I really do appreciate your coming here so quickly to help him."
"Anytime," he said, giving her hand a squeeze. "I want to see him well again as much as the next person."
Janet nodded and pulled her hand away again. Then she sat down by Daniel's side, laying one hand on his arm and stroking his hair with the other.
Sam made a motion for her father to follow her a few steps away from them. She had a feeling that Janet wanted nothing more than to be left alone with Daniel for a while. "When will you be going back?" she asked.
"I should probably go now," he replied. "I've told you all you need to know. There's really nothing more I can do."
Sam gave him a tearful smile. "Thanks again, Dad," she said. "You have no idea how much this means to all of us. This whole situation has just been..."
"I know, Sam. It'll be over soon, just wait and see."
Sam nodded, though she still held a few doubts deep down inside. "Want me to walk you back to the Stargate?" she asked.
"I'd like that," he said. He linked her arm through his, and the two of them left Daniel and Janet alone in peace.
As soon as the Carters left the infirmary, Janet breathed a deep sigh of relief. It wasn't that she hated their company, she was just glad to be alone with Daniel for the first time in a very long time, as Colonel O'Neill had finally been convinced to go lie down in an actual bed.
Jacob had managed to heal Daniel's head wound somewhat, so his head was no longer swathed in bandages. His sores had also been partially healed, and while the skin on his wrists was still raw from the restraints, they didn't need the bandages anymore, either. He was looking much better than he had looked a few hours previously.
Janet lifted his hand and wrapped it around her own, and then leaned down to place a gentle kiss on his cheek. She smiled when the story of Sleeping Beauty came to her mind. If only her kiss could awaken her Prince Charming. Unfortunately, it didn't quite work that way.
Or did it?
To her surprise, Daniel sighed and turned his head to the side. His eyelids flickered, though they didn't open, and the hand she held twitched ever so slightly.
That was not typical comatose behaviour.
"Daniel?" she said, leaning down closer to him. She stroked the side of his face and patted his cheek lightly. "Daniel, wake up."
He made a soft sound that was almost a grunt, and his eyelids flickered for a brief moment.
Janet almost jumped into the air in excitement, but settled for just inching forward in her seat instead. "Daniel?" she said a little louder. "Daniel, please wake up. It's me; it's Janet. You've got to wake up now, okay?"
No reaction.
"Daniel, please!" she said, an edge of desperation creeping into her tone. "You have to wake up now. You have to be okay." She patted his cheek again, this time a bit harder than before. "Please, Daniel."
He flinched at her touch and turned his face away from her.
Janet smiled and grabbed hold of his chin. "Oh, no you don't," she said. "You're going to open your eyes and look at me whether you like it or not."
The eyelids flickered again, and Janet saw a flash of blue before they closed once more.
"That's it," she encouraged him. "Open them, Daniel. Come on, sweetheart. Open your eyes and look at me."
His brow furrowed in distress and his lower lip protruded slightly in what could only be described as a pout. Janet thought she'd never seen anything more beautiful in her life.
"Daniel?"
One eye finally cracked open and glanced around in disorientation before it finally homed in on Janet's face.
Janet's smile widened. "That's it," she said. "There's one, now how about the other?"
Daniel scowled at her for a moment in such a way that Janet wasn't sure whether he understood her words or not. Then his eyelid seemed to grow too heavy for him to lift, and it started to flutter again.
"It's okay, Daniel," Janet said, stroking his hair and giving him an encouraging smile. "I guess that was enough for now. You deserve a rest."
He seemed to be trying to keep his eye open, but it finally closed completely, and he fell into a deep sleep.
Janet was so relieved she almost passed out. "Thank God you're alright," she breathed as she laid her head down next to his on his pillow.
After a moment she draped her arm around him and massaged the back of his neck with her hand. "I love you so much, Daniel," she whispered. She lifted her head just long enough to press a feather-light kiss to his lips; then she laid it down again with her forehead snuggled against him.
It wasn't long before she, too, drifted off to sleep, hope for his full recovery acting like a
sedative to her system.
To be continued...