Sam sat back and watched as Cassie sat on the edge of Daniel's bed and started chatting away like it was a day like any other. She was impressed by the girl's strength in situations like this - it couldn't have been easy to see Daniel like that and just pretend nothing was wrong. God knew she couldn't do it.
Cassie had done the same for her years earlier, bringing her out of her shell after Jolinar's death. It was no wonder Cassie spoke of going in for medicine like her mother. She had an air of healing about her and a calming bedside manner. To have that at eighteen was quite a gift.
Thinking of Jolinar had Sam mentally kicking herself. She couldn't believe she hadn't thought of suggesting she check Carmichael for a Goa'uld. She was glad Cassie's mind had been quicker than hers. Daniel was really starting to relax and look almost... normal.
"So, when do the docs say you can come home?" Cassie asked after a few minutes of casual conversation.
"Come... home?" Daniel asked, his expression changing in an instant from one of relaxed openness to one of suspicion.
Sam winced, knowing this was likely to set him off again. Still, she didn't dare interrupt unless things got out of hand.
"Yeah, home," Cassie said, not letting on that she noticed the change in him if, in fact, she did. "I plan on sticking around until you're better whether you're here or there, I just wondered how long I'll have the place to myself."
Daniel's eyes opened wide in what looked like horror. "I... live with you?"
"Course you do," Cassie said with a shrug. "You have for about four months now - you moved in just after my graduation. It's just been you and Mom there most of the time since I left for college, but I'm usually around on weekends."
Daniel started to look panicked again, and Sam was just about to go over to them when Cassie spoke again.
"It's okay, Daniel," she said, her voice soft as she laid her hand on his arm. "I know you don't remember it, but I'm sure it'll all come back soon enough. You, me, and Mom, we've had some great times together. We're a family."
"I don't... I... no!" Daniel gasped. He squeezed his eyes shut and ground the balls of his hands into them like he was trying to block out that image. "I can't live with her! How can I... what did I do?"
"Relax, Daniel," Cassie said. "God, you make it sound like living with us would be hell on Earth."
"How could I have betrayed my wife?" he asked, dropping his hands into his lap and looking up at her with tears in his eyes.
"You didn't," Cassie replied gently. "You just... moved on."
Sam watched Daniel closely for any sign that he would lash out upon hearing this, but he didn't. He looked saddened by it, but not angry or panicked. 'Way to go, Cass,' she silently cheered.
"You know what you told me not long ago?" Cassie continued.
"What?"
"You told me that you'd always love Sha're, but that you knew she would want you to be happy. You said you'd mourned her for long enough, and that it was time to move on. And you also said that you loved my mom in a completely different way. It was like you didn't even have to think about it, it was just... there. You two belong, Daniel. Don't let anything convince you otherwise."
Daniel looked thoughtful as she said all of this. "I told you that?" he asked curiously.
"Yeah," Cassie said. "Well... okay, so some of it I overheard... but yeah, I asked you what your intentions towards my mom were when you first started getting serious, and that's basically what you told me. That and that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her."
An indescribable expression flickered across Daniel's features at that, and he turned his face away from her. "Can we talk about something else now?" he asked.
Sam jumped to her feet, finally deciding it was better to nip this in the bud than watch it play out to its inevitable conclusion. "Actually, Cass, I think your visit's just about up for now," she said, trying to sound casual. "It's time for Daniel's next treatment anyway."
Daniel glanced at Sam nervously at the word "treatment." He didn't seem too thrilled about the idea.
"Okay," Cassie said reluctantly. "I'll see you later, Daniel." She leaned down to hug him as best she could while he was leaning against his pillows, her head on his chest and her hands on his shoulders.
Daniel looked a bit uncomfortable and unsure of himself when he found he had an armful of teenaged girl, but he patted her back awkwardly and didn't push her away. "See you, Cassie."
Cassie sat up and planted a firm kiss on his cheek. "I love you. Don't forget that." She wagged her finger playfully and gave him a saucy smile as she spoke.
Daniel smiled. "I won't. Thank you." He never took his eyes off of her as she stood up and walked out of the room, pausing at the door to wave before she disappeared around the corner.
As soon as she was out of sight, he sighed and turned to Sam. "What are you going to do?" he asked.
Sam went over to the cabinet where they were temporarily keeping the healing device. "I'm going to use this on you to help you get better," she said as she took it out and made her way back to his bed. She saw Dr. Carmichael watching them just out of Daniel's line of sight on the other side of the room, and nodded at him to indicate that she was going to proceed.
"How... how does it work?" Daniel seemed nervous, but not quite on the verge of panic, which was a good sign.
"I'm... not really sure, to tell you the truth." She gave him a sheepish smile and slipped the device onto her hand. "Like I told you before, it's Goa'uld technology that I'm able to use because I was blended with a symbiote a few years ago. My dad taught me how to work it so I could help your healing process along a bit."
A thoughtful look passed over Daniel's face at the mention of her father. "Jacob."
Sam thought for sure she hadn't heard him right. "What?"
Daniel looked almost as surprised as she was. "Jacob... and Selmak," he said. "That's your dad... right?"
She grinned. "That's right! See, your memory is coming back already." She squeezed his shoulder, pleased to note that he didn't flinch or look mistrustful at her touch. "It'll all come back before you know it."
Daniel smiled, looking relieved. It really seemed to ease his mind that he'd remembered something that he hadn't known a few minutes earlier.
He allowed Sam to do her work without so much as a squirm or a whimper. She could see that there was still a lot left in his brain to heal, but in the little time she could hold the device on him, she was satisfied by the amount of good she was able to do.
"Is that it?" he asked once she deactivated the device.
"That's it," Sam said. "How do you feel?"
Daniel looked off into space for a moment as if trying to think of an answer. Before he could speak, however, his eyelids started drooping and his head swayed drunkenly. "I'm... I can't... Sam?" He looked up at her with glassy eyes, silently pleading for help.
"Dr. Carmichael?" Sam called, fearful that she'd somehow managed to harm Daniel after all. "Daniel stay with me," she begged as she saw his eyes flutter closed. "Please, Daniel, I didn't mean to hurt you!"
"What happened?" Dr. Carmichael asked as he came up beside her.
"I don't know! I gave him his treatment and it seemed to go well, but one second he was fine and the next he passed out."
She stepped back and watched as Carmichael examined him. 'How stupid can I get?' she chided herself. 'I should have known better than to even try this. If I've killed him... oh God, I could never live with myself if he dies!'
Janet rushed into Daniel's room, her heart pounding so hard she thought it would jump right out of her ribcage. "What happened?"
Andrew looked up from where he was standing over Daniel with his stethoscope pressed against his chest. "It's okay, Janet," he said quietly. "He's just unconscious. His breathing is even, his pulse is slow and steady... he's fast asleep."
Janet sagged against the wall and panted for breath, her relief was so overwhelming.
"Oh, thank God." Sam, who was standing by Andrew's side with a guilt-ridden expression on her face, echoed Janet's thoughts. "So... it was nothing I did?"
"I think it was, actually," Andrew said. He straightened up and hung his stethoscope back around his neck. "You were working on a very sensitive area of his brain, Major. The healing alone may have the same effect on his body as the initial trauma did, at least temporarily. His body needs to adjust to the change before he can function normally again."
"So, he'll lapse back into a coma every time we do this?" Sam said, appalled.
"No," Andrew said with a firm shake of his head. "He isn't in a coma. If I recall correctly, he was unconscious the last time you tried this but woke up soon after. Just give him some time. He'll come around."
"Andrew?"
He turned to look at Janet, and as soon as their eyes met he seemed to understand her unspoken request. "I think you're safe taking your turn at sitting with him now," he said. "Just call for me if he starts to wake up." He forced a smile for her benefit, and then walked away.
Sam gave her a quick hug as Janet approached the bed. "Will you be okay?" she asked.
Janet nodded. "Yes, I'll be fine. Thanks, Sam."
By the time Janet sat down in the chair by Daniel's side, she was alone with him. She didn't know why, but somehow sitting next to him felt strange after the events of the past couple of days. Or to be more specific, Daniel felt strange. She had always felt the strong connection between them when she was near him, even if he was unconscious, but this time it was different. There was nothing there any more. It was like Daniel had cut himself off from her so completely that she no longer knew him. That hurt more than anything she'd ever experienced in her life.
With a sigh, she leaned down closer to him and stroked the side of his face. When he didn't react, she placed a soft kiss on his cheek. "Please come back soon, Daniel," she whispered. "I miss you."
She remembered thinking before they'd brought him back to Earth that she could get through this as long as she could still see traces of the Daniel she knew in him. Unfortunately, it had become increasingly clear to her since then that her Daniel was either very deeply buried inside him or gone forever. She could only hope the former was the case, and that he would come back to her once his condition improved.
If it improved.
Janet gave herself a mental shake when she found herself thinking that thought. Of course he would improve. How could she doubt that even for a second? Sam's treatments were working, even though they weren't working fast enough to suit her impatient side. They just had to wait it out in the meantime.
With this resolve fresh in her mind, she sat back in the chair and settled in for the long haul.
Various medical personnel came and went from Daniel's room during the next few hours, all of them asking politely if they could get her anything to make her more comfortable. The sympathy in their eyes was unbearable. A few days ago she'd been in charge of this place, and all of these people had looked at her with nothing but respect in their eyes. Now she was playing the part of the worried relative, which meant it was their duty to "look after her." She didn't like it one bit. She wanted to scream every time someone shot a "poor Dr. Fraiser" look her way.
Colonel O'Neill and Sam dropped by every few minutes to check up on her, too, and every now and then she would see Teal'c pass by the doorway. She felt bad for Teal'c - he was still hesitant to show his face to Daniel in case he frightened him again. She knew that was unlikely to happen now that Daniel was more lucid, but Teal'c said he would rather stay on the safe side for a little while longer. Janet couldn't really blame him. She'd stayed away herself when she realized her presence was doing more harm than good. If her body and mind weren't screaming at her now to be by his side, she would no doubt still be hiding away in her office until someone told her it was safe to come out.
About two hours into the wait, Colonel O'Neill had just paid a short visit to tell her he'd taken Cassie home when Janet suddenly realized how tired she was. She'd managed to grab a few hours of sleep here and there since Daniel had come around from his coma, but her body protested quite loudly that it hadn't been enough. Since she had nothing better to do than just sit there, she figured now was as good a time as any to have a short power nap. She slouched down in her chair, leaned her head against its back, and closed her eyes.
She didn't even notice she had fallen asleep until she started dreaming about running through the halls of the SGC in search of her lost mind. The entire dream was so absurd that she knew it couldn't be real, yet she seemed to have no choice but to go along with it. "A mind is a terrible thing to waste, after all," the Daniel in her dream mocked as his eerie, out of control laughter echoed in her ears.
After what seemed like days of running, searching, and trying to get away from Daniel's taunting, she finally jerked awake. She was disoriented for a moment, but when her mind began to clear, she found herself staring into a pair of placid blue eyes.
"That must have been quite a dream," Daniel said.
Janet sat up straight and smoothed out her wrinkled clothing. "Yes, it was," she said. "How long were you lying there watching me?"
Daniel didn't answer. He was on his side facing her, his hands holding onto the pillow under his head and his knees bent and curled up close to his chest. He looked very comfortable and more relaxed than she had seen him since before he had taken ill. His eyes were fixed upon her face, his gaze so steady he barely even blinked.
It was creeping her out.
"How are you feeling?" she asked. She wanted so much to touch him and kiss him in relief that he was alright, but his body language wasn't exactly telling her that he had changed his mind on that score. He wasn't panicked or angry that she was sitting beside him, though, and she didn't want to mess that up.
Daniel sighed. "Tired. Headache. I cramped up when I turned on my side, too, but not as bad as last time."
Janet inwardly rejoiced that he was able to string all of those words together without pausing to think or catch his breath. "Good," she said, trying to appear impassive. "The muscle spasms should clear up completely within the next few days, and the tiredness and headache are probably due to the treatment you had a few hours ago. You really are getting better." She allowed herself a small smile as punctuation for her sentence.
Daniel's expression remained unchanged. He lay silent for a long moment, and when he spoke his voice was quiet and steady. "I did that to you, didn't I?"
Janet was confused for a second before she realized he was looking at her right eye. The last time she had looked in a mirror, the bruise on her face had been just about every colour under the sun, though thankfully the swelling had started to go down. But how did Daniel know he'd done it? She didn't quite know what to say.
"I'll take that as a yes," he said when she didn't reply. "Was I... um... ha... hallucinating?"
His slight stumble for the word made her nervous for a moment, but he didn't seem fazed by it. "Yes," she answered. "I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time." She tried to smile again, but it trembled and disappeared before it really got going.
"Sorry."
Janet's heart ached with joy at this one little word. He didn't seem overly penitent, but at least he was being civil. As far as she was concerned, that was a great improvement. "It's okay," she said. "It wasn't your fault."
Daniel swallowed hard and nodded. "Cassie... told me some things," he said.
"Oh?" Janet wasn't sure where he was going with that, but she had a feeling that something important was about to happen.
"Yeah. She told me... we, uh... we live together. That we're a family."
"Yes, that's right."
Daniel sighed, his expression turning hard. "Then I'm very sorry."
Janet was confused by this reaction. "You have nothing to be sorry about, Daniel."
"Yes, I do," he said, his eyes still focused on her face. "You've... lost the man you loved. I am sorry."
Janet shook her head, remaining surprisingly calm at this comment. "I haven't lost him yet," she said in a low tone.
Daniel thumped his pillow with his fist. "You have. I'm not... him anymore. I can't believe I ever was. I'm sorry."
Janet leaned forward in her seat. "Look... I understand that your grief over Sha're is still fresh and so painful that you can't see past it... but, Daniel, you went through all of this before. In the end, you came out of it stronger than ever... and loving me."
As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she realized she'd made the biggest mistake she could possibly make. If she could take them back, she would have done so on the spot, but it was too late.
Daniel narrowed his eyes and glared at her, his temper finally rising to the surface. "You egocentric bitch," he said so quietly she could barely hear his words. "You're saying that as soon as I get over Sha're, I'll suddenly find out I'm head over heels for you and thank my lucky stars that she's dead?"
Janet could only gape at him in shock. She'd heard him call her some pretty nasty things when he'd lost control upon overhearing her conversation with Colonel O'Neill, but he was in complete possession of his faculties this time. She couldn't believe those words had just come out of his mouth.
He slowly turned over until he was on his other side with his back towards her. "Go away."
Go away? She couldn't just go away, not after what she'd said. She had to somehow try to fix what she had so royally screwed up. "Daniel..."
"I said go away!!"
His sudden yell made Janet involuntarily jump to her feet. She was shaking like a leaf and
tears were fogging her vision as she rushed from the room.
To be continued...