AUTHOR'S NOTES: Did you think I'd neglect my fans at Christmas? Here's a new one for you, and I hope to have a couple more ready by the new year. Merry Christmas!

The Midichlorian Song

Premise: Read the intro.

To: Adam Sandler's "Hanukkah Song"

Everybody knows that Jedi (orthodox Jedi, at least) don't celebrate Christmas, so here's a song for all of the holiday-deprived Jedi out there. If you can't celebrate Christmas, celebrate your midichlorians!

Tell the historians, hooray for midichlorians

Tell the senatorian to celebrate midichlorians, Midichlorians live in the blood of Jedi knights,

Instead of receiving presents, we have lightsaber fights. If you're sad that you have a seeker droid instead of a Christmas tree,

Heres a list of folks with midichlorians, unlike you and me: (and people in the UK, for that matter.)

There's Exar Kun, who spent a few years trapped in adobe

As well as Plo Koon, Corran Horn and Obi-Wan Kenobi Hang out at the Jedi Temple, and you might see Vima-Da-Boda,

Adi Gallia, Eeth Koth and Jedi Master Yoda! Count Dooku's got midis; Yaddle has them too,

Like Luke, Leia, Mara Jade, and Dorsk 82! Palpatine had loads of them, although his had gone bad -

And Anakin had even more - some say they were his dad! So go to the emporium, if you've got midichlorians,

Be an oratorion, and shout out for midichlorians.

Jar Jar Binks - had none at all!

But there were lots in Yarael Poof, Kit Fisto and Darth Maul! What ladies will show up for a Jedi cup of coffee

But Shaak Ti, Bultar Swan and Barriss freakin' Offee! I knew some people would suspect that Kyp Durron is Hindu

Well, he's not; he's a Jedi. Just like Mace Windu! Han Solo may have midichlorians, but not very many

But his kids have a lot - Jacen, Jaina and Ani!

Here's one for the historians, so celebrate your midichlorians

I hope I'm a valedictorian, in the class of midichlorians. So grunt like a Gammorrean, and visit the sanitorium,

And just ask for more-ian, Hip, hip hooray for midichlorians!