A/n: Well this is only my second story I have posted up on but it's definitely not the first Resident Evil fic I've written. Let's see here……..I wrote one about Chris in an elevator……Then I wrote a Chris and Wesker non-con……hmmm…..maybe I should post that one up…….then I wrote one about Billy dying and wanting cheese or something like that.(please don't ask about that one…..) Well either way this story is the one that's important right now…..Its angst. It looks like it might be a one shot but I am hoping to make it into a multiple chapter story. If I don't get around to that then you will all have to suffer and it will remain a one shot fic. Well I hope you enjoy and remember kiddies……flames will only serve as to warm my freezing ass since its so damn cold here. So if you really want to save my ass from becoming an ice cube, then by all means review. I will only hunt you down and give you a bear hug for being so kind to me! On with the fic!

'God I hate Wednesdays.'

The girl scoffed and took another drag on her cigarette. She took a look in both directions as she crossed the quiet street, She did this not of worry of getting run over by an oncoming car, but only out of habit. The truth was she wished a car would run her over, plow her down and crush all of her organs so this repetitive meaningless life would end. No such luck. She made it across safely.

She continued her journey down the street ignoring a car full of horny guys whistle at her while stopped at a red light. She stopped a little further down the road to drop her cig and smash it under her boot. Soon another cig was placed in her mouth and she began walking again.

The street lamps she passed under illuminated for a second a young face of a girl a little older than 20. In fact, it was her 21st birthday today. Not like she cared though, she stopped caring about anything months ago. Today was just like any other in her mind. No reason to celebrate another year of age, another year of being trapped in this hell. Yes today was just like any other, which meant finding another bar to get wasted at. For that was this girls purpose in life, spending everyday drifting from bar to bar, drinking glass after glass of that sweet nectar known as alcohol to make life go faster, to be more bearable.

She turned the corner and noticed a decent looking bar across the street. If she could remember the false emotion called happiness she would have expressed it right there. She quickly crossed the street. Again no luck. The cars missed her once more. She couldn't wait to get inside and sink into the wonderful oblivion. She pulled open the door and ventured inside.

Immediately a gust of warm air hit her and she sighed in relief. Taking a look around the bar, she spotted an open barstool and walked over. This was one she had been to before, people knew her here. Sure enough as soon as she sat down one of the bartenders called out her name.

"Hey Rebecca! The usual right?"

She gave him a bleary look and nodded. She rested her head on the table, not raising it when she heard the clinking sound of a drink being placed in front of her.

"Thanks Fred." She murmured.

"No prob. Hey you know we're having karaoke tonight. You should join in!"

"No thanks."

She lifted her head and took a drink, reeling in the warmth that flowed through her.

"Well think about it." He winked at her then moved on to serve a couple that had just sat down.

'Yeah right.' She thought and took another sip.

Yes her mind screamed as she finished the rest in one big gulp. This is the way to spend a birthday.

-20min later-

Rebecca was content. She was working up quite a nice buzz and starting her 7th drink. Long months of heavy drinking had ensured that it took a lot more than that to get her drunk. The night was young…..Rebecca shifted her gaze to the rest of the bar, taking note that the lights were dimmed. She saw everyone's attention was drawn to the small stage in the far back of the small room. As she looked she noticed a middle aged man, extremely drunk, swaying dangerously on the stage yelling at someone to play some music.

'Oh joy…..karaoke's starting.'

She watched for a few moments at the man trying to sing "Sweet Home Alabama" but failing miserably. A few seconds later he collapsed, sending everyone but the lonely young girl into laughter, and had to be dragged offstage.

The music continued on without a voice to sing it because it looked like the drunks were either too scared or too wasted to move. Rebecca sighed in relief for the blissful silence that followed after the music ended. She again focused on her inner broodings when she saw Fred gesturing at her out of the corner of her eye. She looked at him and mouthed 'what?' He smiled and replied:

"Come on Rebecca get up there and show us what you've got!"

Rebecca groaned. She was in no mood for this. She was trying to get wasted not win the prize on American Idol. Her mind switched to thinking about better times. She remembered how she used to love sing. It made her feel better when she was scared or lonely and vented frustrated after a long day of work. She shook herself mentally.

'No. Bad Rebecca. No more thinking about the past. You can never go back to those happy days of sunshine. That was then and this is now. You're on the other side of the mountain. The place where the sun will never shine, a place full of broken dreams and alcohol. Such a lonely place…..'

She glared at him after her mental debate and yelled back:

"No fucking way."

He pouted at her but she just gave him the finger. The girl snorted as she saw him frown and again rested her head on the table, her finger swabbing up the condensation on the glass.

"Come on Becks!"

At these words her eyes widened and she quickly sat up, almost falling backwards off her stool. Her heart was beating wildly.

"Becks….:" she whispered.

Hearing that nickname sent her mind into a whirl. Only one person had ever had the nerve to call her that. Only one man has possessed that cocky attitude and the courage to face her wrath.

"Billy."

For the first time in two long years her heart was filled with something other than pain and bitterness….it was filled with hope. She turned with the force of a bullet, nearly breaking the stool under her. Her eyes scanned the room with an eagerness that made her feel like a young school girl.

She longed to see that familiar face grinning at her. The man named Billy Coen with whom she had buried her heart. Her search proved to be fruitless. She didn't see her knight in shinning armor coming to save her from this horrible place. All she saw was a room full of drunks that, like her, were drinking their misery away. Her heart flashed with pain and her eyes lowered to the floor. So….it had all been fake….a simple trick her mind had played on her. Tears burned at her eyes and she wiped them away. Rebecca wished she could forget. That she would no longer remember the partner she has had, fighting against all those…creatures at that mansion. Her younger days had been full of books and adv. classes, furiously trying to study to get good grades to take even more adv. classes the next year. Then those days ended with her finishing college at the age of 18 and immediately joining S.T.A.R.S. There had been no time for silly notions such as love, not then. No, she hadn't experienced that precious feeling until she had gone on her first mission with S.T.A.R.S. After she had boarded the train and met the convict known as "Ex Lt.. Billy Coen." They had gone through a lot together. They had fought off hundreds of the undead, trekked through an extensively large Umbrella training facility, and defeated an evil Umbrella scientist that could've had a part in an opera. And then, after all was said and done he had disappeared out of her life.

Over the years she had thought about that fateful goodbye they had shared on that cliff top overlooking the burned remains of the facility. How she wished she had done something, hugged him, kissed him, let him know how she felt about him. The least she could've done was thank him for bringing such light and happiness in her life. But she did nothing, only stood there and watched as the most important person in her life walk away into the dense forest.

Unable to keep the pain in any longer, she did the only thing she knew to do, the one thing she did on all those lonely, cold nights – she began to cry. She buried her face in her hands and let the tears flow. She released every single bit of pain she held in her heart. She knew she looked pathetic, that she was showing others the very weakness she had tried to get rid of for almost two years but she didn't care. Se cried until there was not enough saline to make more. Her heart ached so bad. She lifted her head and took another look at the stage. She suddenly felt like singing. If she couldn't tell Billy how she felt in person then she would tell it to him in song. She would sing a song for him and only for him, to tell that she would always love him and would always be waiting. She slowly got up off her stool and made her way to the small platform.

Fred was cleaning some glasses when he happened to look over and see Rebecca standing there quietly, smoking yet another cigarette, waiting for the music to start playing. He dropped the glass in shock and it shattered on the dirty floor. He jumped over the bar table and rushed to her.

"Rebecca?" he questioned. She gave him a small smile.

"Broken"

For a moment he didn't move, but then snapped out of it and hurried over to the music to play the song. The lights dimmed and the soft soothing sounds off her selection fluttered out of the speakers. Rebecca took a deep breath and then whispered into the microphone.

"This ones for you, Billy"

I wanted you to know
I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph
And I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

Because I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

You've gone away
You don't feel me here anymore

The worst is over now
And we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high and steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn
And no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

Cause Im broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone

You're gone away
You don't feel me here anymore

Rebecca choked back a sob as the song came to an end. If only Billy had been here to hear it. Small applause echoed in the bar and she descended from the stage. Walking back over to the bar table, she slapped down a twenty and left the building. She walked the cold and lonely streets, and every so often paused to look up at the sky. Wherever Billy was, she prayed that he was safe and warm.

Thirty minutes later found her at the shabby apartment building in which she lived. During the elevator ride up to the 9th floor, she hummed some of the tune. The elevator doors opened and she made her way down the desolate hallway to her room. Unlocking the door, she slipped inside and locked it again. She removed her jacket and dropped it into the seat of a nearby chair. Carefully making her way around the discarded cans and piles of clothes, she went into the bedroom. The clock on the mantle read 1:03 am.

"Time for bed.' She thought halfheartedly.

After getting changed into her pajamas, she treaded back out into the living room and checked her phone messages. The annoying voice stated:

"You have no new messages."

"Oh thanks guys for remembering my birthday." Her voice dripping with sarcasm.

'But it's not like they have any reason to call you' her mind told her. 'You haven't talked to them for two years!'

"Shut up! " She told it.

But her mind was right. She was the reason she was all alone. She hadn't made any effort these past couple of years to contact anyone. She had chosen the life of a loner, to be antisocial in regards to the world. She sighed loudly, feeling the familiar pain rise up again. Rebecca walked back to her room and closed the door behind her.

"Happy birthday to me…Happy birthday to me."

She sang softly, not noticing the wetness on her cheeks. She trotted over to her bed and pulled back the covers.

"Happy birthday Rebecca….Happy birthday to me."

Lying in bed, tears falling faster now, she reached down the front of her shirt and pulled out a pair of dog tags. Holding it in her hands she turned them over and over, fingers tracing over the name engraved on them. Bringing them up to her lips, she gave them a gentle kiss and managed to choke out:

"Goodnight Billy"

Then, the young girl called Rebecca Chambers, turned over on her side and cried herself to sleep.